Home / Evil Wizards Won’t Upgrade Low-Tech Cash Registers

Evil Wizards Won’t Upgrade Low-Tech Cash Registers

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I just don’t get it. It seems like technology would have found a way to interrupt a sale at the checkout line so you don’t have to wait for Tina Turtle Legs to do a price check. Of course, this assessment of the helpful, service desk associate is unfair. She is at work; therefore, her time passes like molasses. I am in a line; therefore, my time passes at least six times faster than normal. Also, Tina Turtle Legs is surely being stopped by other customers as she passes through the labyrinth which is Wal-Mart, or any other major department store. Those customers don’t care that she is on an important price check mission. They are just like me. They want to get the hell out of there.

So, despite my comprehension of both the customer’s and retail employee’s situations, I failed to retain my mind at Wal-Mart the other day. Someone needed a price check for a full size comforter. As my California Pizza Kitchen pizza thawed and twenty minutes passed, my patient facade faded. I was ready to leave all of my food right there on the conveyer. Eventually, I actually did move all of my items to another line, although I knew that my original line would move as soon as I did so (and I saw it do just that). I just had to take a stand against the invisible MAN. The MAN could have prevented this checkout ruse by adding a simple feature to the registers. Just allow the cashier to put the sale on hold while she checks out the unfortunate ones who picked the wrong line that day. It would be so easy. Although, I don’t know the right code to tell the programmers, I know that they could do it. I even have faith that this feature exists already.

As I returned all of my food to my cart, the cashier apologized like it was somehow her fault. This was unbelievable, although I would have done the same if I was her. She was the most victimized of all of us. She has to deal with the inefficient registers day after day. Some evil wizard, bad brain at the top echelon of retail, who doesn’t have to do any of his own shopping, is sitting there laughing. He’s the MAN because he doesn’t really care that all of us, the waiting-to-be-checked-out, the price-checked customer, the price-checker, the cashier, are all cursing his name because we need his deep discounted prices.

I know that there are retailers who have this technology. I just don’t know their names. If we can get a satellite into orbit around the Earth, then I’m sure we can make a register that can handle more than one sale at a time. I’m hoping that anyone who knows of these retailers, who are willing to pause a sale for the mind-saving benefit of those behind the price-checked customer, will speak up and reveal themselves.

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About Clarissa Adkins

  • Uncle Sam

    People point to Walmart and cry “anti-union”.
    Unions enable disfavored people to live satisfactorly without addressing their disfavor. This way their family’s problems are never resolved. Without the union they would have to accept the heirarchy, their own inferiority.
    Unions serve to empower.
    Walmart is anti-union because they are good. They try to help people address and resolve their problems by creating an enviornment where there are fewer hurdles.

    Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people’s belief that Walmart is evil in a subsegment of the industry dominated by the middle and lower classes.
    Low-cost disfavored Chinese labor is utilized by corporate america to maximize margins. They all do it. Only WalMart gets fingered because they are the ones who help, and those who seek to create confusion in the marketplace want to eliminate the vast middle class who have a real chance and instead stick with lower classes who may not work otherwise. So they dirty him up while allowing the others to appear clean.

    The coining of the term “Uncle Sam” was a clue alluding to this::Sam Walton’s WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class.