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Everybody Loves Raymond Must Be Banned

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I’m seconding new brother Blogcritic David Flanagan who finds freedom to be offensive. He’s right. It sucks.

I say we clean house. We’re not accepting or tolerating homophobia, xenophobia, prayer, racism, any of that. There is a democratic consensus or some judge decided it or something. Anyway, these things are fattening and immoral, and of course deeply offensive.

OK, fair enough – but I’ll insist that we include on the banned phobia/ism list the principal group responsible for violating MY civil liberties. Since there so many citizens, maybe we should just pick one thing apiece to ban.

I pick think-o-phobes. Dumb sonsabitches who avoid thought of any significant kind as if it were painful. People who go to great lengths to actively avoid thought. People who love Raymond.

If I get to ban just ONE stupid, thoughtless thing, it will be Everybody Loves Raymond.

Nielsen estimates that approximately 1 billion Americans each week faithfully tune in to watch Everybody Loves Raymond. Why?

Do they adore the shrewish, nagging wife? Perhaps it is Raymond’s whining and petty grievances that get the folks excited. Perhaps they identify with someone who manages to be such a miserable loser despite being a rich American.

Do any of these people have a personality other than broadly being whiny or shrewish? Do they have any pride or passion in anything? Are they Republicans, Democrats, Green? Do they believe in Jesus? Do they even give a THOUGHT to any such thing?

NO. Exactly my complaint. There’s not a thought in the head of any of these characters other than the most mundane level of personal politics, how to get what they want out of family members in the next five minutes. How do I get him to take out the trash? How do I get her to leave me alone while I watch the game? That pretty much seems to be their level of consciousness.

“Blandly whiny” pretty well describes the tone. That would have to be one of the least appetizing descriptions I could imagine. I’d rather watch Susan Sarandon rant against President Bush. Heck, I’d rather watch Michael Moore rant against the president. Hell, I would rather listen to Barbara Streisand sing than to have to watch Everybody Loves Raymond.

Raymond kills brain cells. Every time you fixate on one these inane thoughts, a few of your brain cells dies not just from lack of exercise, but by active suffocation. It’s like Raymond’s whining is holding a pillow over your brain, and smothering it from ever being able to think again. You might as well be huffing paint thinner or sniffing glue.

In short, Raymond sucks really bad, and anybody who watches it is a big doo-doo head.

It’s bad for America. It is destructive of our basic will to think. If any of you conspiracy buffs wanted to argue that there is some oligarchic/corporate/government/Vatican plot to dumb down the nation, Raymond would be exhibit A in evidence. Raymond must be put down with extreme prejudice.

Hey, hey-ho, ho Think-o-phobes have got to go!

About Gadfly

  • PokerFACE

    OMG finally someone hate this crappy show thank you

  • TechnoGeek

    You people only care if it’s funny or not. Everybody Loves Raymond was no sincere to it’s message, it was supposed to be about married people with their REAL problems, in it’s earliest episode, Raymond himself appeared and said it wasn’t about the kids, it’s OK, if they’re gonna exclude the kids, at least they’re gonna focus on Marriage problems more, and the only thing they “represented” is another washed-out comedy about a WEAK WEAK man and his hot, shrew, bossy wife

  • Halo

    I feel sorry for for Italians; they either represented as manwhores/studs or idiots

  • Pierre

    Before I get to the show. There was some rather foolish comment above about “Liberals” writing Raymond and men naturally being the intellegent heads of family over their emotional wives. What universe does this person live in. Its easy to find families where the husband is a dolt and the wife the intelligent one. Well I agree Everybody Likes Raymond was and remains horrible, excremental TV. I esspecially hated Raymonds night of the living dead parents. Such angry, hateful people. Having known relatives like that; seeing such monsterous psychopathic individuals on TV is too much. Helen esspecially was full of anger and hatred. Such people destroy those around them leaving misery and desolation. Raymond’s mothers goal was so obviously to teardown and wreak the lives of those around her. Being so desberately unhappy she longs to spread unhappyness around her. She is a spitful monster. Not particularily funny. In fact the entire group of characters was characterized by jealousy, hatred, self-centeredness, love simply does not really exist on this show. Its about a bunch of small-minded petty people whoose main emotion is angry resentment.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Pierre- Thank you. That was a particularly insightful analysis of the yuckness that was Raymond.

  • Rockrocks

    Pierre: I agree with you, I think the series that started this mess “mean = cool” is Seinfeld.

  • joe rotundo

    oh, maybe i should watch the discovery channel and peek inside the tomb of king tut, or perhaps tune in channel 21 and spend an evening with the mamas and the papas for the 17th time this year, no, i’ll be an informed viewer and chat with larry king as he manipulates his guest6s to answer the way he wants by keep asking the same question in different ways to different panelists until they agree with him and then go to a commercial break.
    i like “everybody loves raymond” because i can’t remember having a conversation about GOD with any of them in a hundred years and, yeah, the qwhole neighborhood here is married to a wife like his, me included, the in laws are out laws, family holidays are a chance to clean out the old lady’s bank account, who can’t identified?
    you, my friend, are no charlatan but a excellent critic with superb narrative abilities who does what you do best – criticize, note that it only your opinion and give a little help to your friends
    I’m seconding new brother Blogcritic David Flanagan who finds freedom to be offensive. He’s right. It sucks
    everybody loves raymond because everybody is raymond.
    i watch the show and give him a lot of credit for his talented abilities in the field of comedy, scriptwriting, acting and do what he does best – being raymond

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Joe – absolutely no apology needed. I’m not likely going to become a Raymond fan, but I certainly thank you for your kind words.

    Moreover, your literate rebuke is a credit the ranks of Raymond fans. It is a good counter example to my normal low presumptions about the mentality of Raymond fans. You represent well for your guy.

  • joe rotundo

    You represent well for your guy.
    no, i am only someone who has taken the time and the effort to reply to your opinion, which i happened upon coincidentally and found, if you will, to be amusing.
    i am not down on the waterfront, with a soapbox, “i coulda been a contender” because i never wanted to be a contender
    you know who represents for the guy
    the guy sitting across from you on the bus, she’s walking in front of you on the way to work, he’s buying his wife a box of chocolate’s at hallmards, yeah, his brother just drove by in the squadcar, the mom is chatting on the corner of your block with 2 of her church friends, the guy buying lunch at mcdonald’s, etc.
    the thing is “there’s nothing wrong with being a raymond”, and, i compliment mr. barone on his idea of bringing a show to tv that obviously lots of people love, no easy task

  • Pierre

    I too also hate and abhor the abomination of desolation known as Everybody Loves Raymond. I completely agree that Raymond is a mealy mouthed, annoying waste of space and yes the wife is a shrew but guess what married to that any self respecting women would be a shrew or indeed the controlling bitch from hell, and someone like Raymond would deserve it! But the piece de resistance on the show are Raymond’s excremental pieces of rotting vomit, his parents. Indisbutably the vilest parents ever on a sitcom. We’re suppossed to find such incredibly hateful, angry people funny!? Its so obvious that neither one is getting any. They are toxic to the nth degree. In real life any child of their’s not seriously damaged by being raised by them would not want anything to do with them or their hateful malign ways. They are incredibly cruel and both enjoy with relish and great satisfaction making their kids miserable and unhappy. They are in my opinion seriously psychopathic.

  • Charlie

    You could say that about every MTV show ever created but thats the point of TV. I personally like it, the more people that get ADHD from rap videos or get dumbed down by stupid shows just means less people for me to compete with on my quest for the top of the corporate world.

  • Jerry

    I don’t know, your points seem somewhat weak. Your argument is essentially based around the idea that the show is “unintelligent,” but what is it that you are expecting from a sitcom? A deep intellectual study on the human condition? It’s a sitcom! Sure it’s unitelligent, but so are a million other sitcoms. People probably tune in because it serves as good escapitism, or they can relate to the situations. I’ve only seen a few episodes, and although I wouldn’t call it the greatest show of all time, it’s certianly not the source of all the world’s evil.

    Of course, you are perfectly entitled to your opinion, and you have every right to express that opinion any way you like. However, I noticed that you are continually attacking the fans, and saying they have “low mentality.” This is really unwarented. You have every right to hate the show, but mocking people who watch it and saying they are “dumb” isn’t justified. It makes you look like one of those smug large ego types who looks down their nose on anyone with a differing opinion. I’m not saying you are like that, that’s just how you are comming accross.

    Anyway, no offence intended.

  • Ilovepunana

    I think the show is amazingly funny. It really has everything with an awesome twist of humor, no matter how simplistic the humor might be. Screw you stuck up laaaaaaaaaaaaames.

  • Betty Slocombe

    I hope I’m not going to be late because I left Winston clinging to the curtain rail. The mere sight of my pussy drives him mad.

    The central heating broke down. I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front of it.

    My pussy got soaking wet. I had to dry it out before I came in this morning.

    Hello, hello, is that Mr. Akbar? Mrs. Slocombe here your next door neighbor. I wonder, umm, would you do me a favor? Would you go to my front door, bend down, and look through the letter box, and if you can see my pussy…. would you drop a sardine on the mat?

    I have my pussy to consider. Who’s going to let it out

    I never have trouble getting up in the morning. My pussy is just like an alarm clock. Every morning at 6:15 it drops its clock-work mouse on me pillow. It rolls over and doesn’t leave until I’ve wound it up again. He makes a game out of it.

  • Aaaaa-Haaa!!!

    “NOW, TAKE IT EASY”: YOU ARE STUPID.”EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND” :)

  • Pétur

    Fantastic show…very funny and fun. This show is to make us laugh…not point us to a political or religional direction. Man how u nagging people are full of you know what. If you don’t like it…DON’t WATCH…or are you too dumb to change a channel???

  • Dude

    Wow. This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read. [personal attack deleted by comments editor] Everybody Loves Raymond is a sitcom. It’s one of the very best sitcoms of all time. It is not all-encompassing. It deals with family matters, that’s it’s main domain. Family – the basis of our community, the pillar of the society. I don’t give a rats fucking ass about your fucking political parties (I’m not even American btw) nor do I want to see people debate religion and serious issues when I tune in in the evening to watch a goddamn sitcom. Everybody Loves Raymond deals with everyday life, it provides us with the opportunity to be an observer, for a change, in the process of interacting and putting up with people who you spend the most time with, and who you love and cherish the most.

    First of all, Raymond is a sitcom that has more style, couth and sensibility than all that are currently airing put together. It’s a work of a talented comedian and features such great thespians that it’s a pleasure to watch regardless of what it’s about. Every day I can see dumb ignoramuses debating and waving their useless and wholly uninteresting opinions on these complex matters you are proposing here. Is that required to be featured in a sitcom?! I think you people need to look up what that word means. You’re all a bunch of bigots and pretentious soi-disant intellectuals, especially these cocky, contemptible critics who think someone gives a shit about their opinions. Sadly, they receive payment for writing shit like that.

    Raymond has so much heart and warmth, and his humor is so simple and sophisticated, that it’s wasted on fakers and posers like yourselves. Degrees of consciousness?? [personal attack deleted by comments editor] Raymond provides us with some relief, it’s a brilliant form of escapism, watching such lovable characters go through things we’ve all been through at one time or another, in such a sweet comical way. It’s a pressure valve for some people after a hard day at work, to sit down with their families and take in a good half hour of very tasteful comedy. It’s a sitcom for God’s sake, not a political talkshow. Besides, I don’t know how many episodes you’ve seen, but there’s been plenty of occurences where things like religion were heavily discussed, or even the main subject of the episode. What you’ve written my friend, is not only ridiculous and misleading, but completely irrelevant for the subject at hand. You’ve got a myriad of TV shows that are utter garbage today, using cheap tricks and distasteful platitudes and then shamelessly pass them as humor; why don’t you review those? Instead, you come here with your retarded homilies, preaching about degrees of consciousness and lack of philosophy in a beautiful sitcom that in fact compels us to reevaluate our relations with our most beloved. Perhaps we should all strengthen those bonds first – with our family members – and only then aspire to fix the more global problems. It all stems from there – today most families are a mess and that’s how we get all the crap we’re facing now.

    As an aside, Seinfeld is considered the greatest TV show of all fucking time, and it’s a show about nothing?! It’s thematically so much more objectionable than Raymond, and yet no one says a word. Not only does it lack any trace of “degrees of consciousness”, but it’s about farcical adventures of a quartet of idiots in the 90s NYC. It’s my favorite show and truly the best sitcom of all time, but I’m trying to prove a point. What kind of moron expects to gain profound philosophical insight or searches for coherent musings on problems of the world in A SITCOM??? Your approach to a sitcom review is horrendous, and I simply cannot believe you’re a certified critic, a professional who does this for a living. If you’re not humane enough to appreciate the beauty of Everybody Loves Raymond, then just don’t watch. Don’t write nonsensical reviews that have absolutely nothing to do with what a sitcom is about. And for all of you who are normal and can actually relate to situations in Raymond (and that’s one of its stronger points – the sheer realism it contains that’s worlds apart from other sitcoms, and it still manages to be every bit as funny as some of the best out there), take your time and think about it, you’ll find that there’s a lot of truth hidden behind those wonderfully comic escapades of our favorite tv family.

  • Dude

    Wow, there was so much win in my comment that I had to post again. Debra is as close to perfect as they get. Most of you are coarse rustics that have deep personal issues with themselves, and I realize that, so I shouldn’t have commented at all because this was all perfectly understandable. Pretentious fucktards who think they’re clever. But I couldn’t let this mockery proceed, the unjustified and unfounded disparagement of this outstanding tv show.

  • http://www.morethings.com/wordpress Al Barger

    Dude- First of all, I thank you very much for the thoughtful criticism. Yes, I may perhaps be reasonably described as a pretentious intercourse-tard. However, I’m afraid the mockery will proceed.

    I admit that I’ve only watched a few episodes of the show. I have to avoid the show because it fills me with an urge to poke my eyes and eardrums out.

    It’s strikes me curious to see someone as passionate as you are about something so utterly bland and uninteresting. If ”
    there’s a lot of truth hidden behind those wonderfully comic escapades” then I fail to see it. But maybe I’m just to afraid to face it. Perhaps I can’t handle The Truth of life as revealed by Raymond.

    I am sympathetic to your point about not expecting political commentary or debate in every sitcom. I Love Lucy, Bernie Mac and Titus lacked political debates, but are among the greatest sitcoms ever.

  • Dude

    Then you simply don’t like sitcoms and don’t understand them. To say that watching Raymond will make you stupid is utterly ridiculous. Your points (or whoever wrote the article) are just completely impertinent and atrociously misplaced; I haven’t seen a sitcom that features any of the things you listed, because that would make it the worst sitcom ever, nay, it would stop being a sitcom for God’s sake.

    What I’m saying here now, and you can’t argue against this if you’re sane, is that what you are doing here is passing judgment and denouncement on all sitcoms, on the genre itself. This applies to every single sitcom and not only Raymond, so I don’t understand why you chose it to unload all that crap on. You are basically contra-sitcoms in general. Your article is pure nonsense, it’s riddled with logical fallacies and completely out of place. I don’t see a shred of evidence that Raymond is a bad sitcom, because you completely failed to define the parameters that make a sitcom good or bad. If you’re not a sitcom lover, than what the hell are you doing bashing Raymond and writing reviews of sitcoms anyway??

    If you’re just trying to display your higher degrees of consciousness and your insatiable appetite for vigorous and profound intellectual exercise, than I suggest you do that somewhere else where it’s more appropriate, instead of here, horribly reviewing a TV-show and blaming it for making people dumber, when in reality you’re only making a fool of yourself for being so transparent and blatantly preposterous in your snobbish quest to show how educated and perspicacious you are. What you are proposing here is that all sitcoms are indeed trash and a threat to the integrity of our minds and our ability to think. That is cockamamie dramatic bullshit and you know it, and so does anyone with a shred of intelligence and awareness. But I guess the naivety of people nowadays makes them blind to everything they see.

    Btw, there are innumerable assuming, snobbish assholes who think they belong to the intellectual and spiritual elite of the world. They’re everywhere, debating nonstop and never really saying anything of any coherence or importance. We don’t need someone conveying the same level of egotism and self-importance when we try to figure out why a show as beautiful as Everybody Loves Raymond has a lower rating than some of the absolutely trite junk that passes for sitcom these days. And then one bumps into a “professional” review like this, which, much to one’s surprise, isn’t really about Raymond or, for that matter, sitcoms, at all. Yeah, the world just keeps on being sucky in every aspect there is, no matter how big or trivial. -.-

  • Dude

    Indeed it’s bland and uninteresting *compared* to certain other things, but these things have *absolutely nothing to do* with sitcoms. You see, there are roles and purposes, and every thing has them. If you allow me, I would reduce the purpose of *A SITCOM* to this – it is there to makes us laugh and relax. Yes, I watch political debates in my country, yes I study jazz, medicine and I’m an avid cinema lover. And a million other things. I respect Raymond as much as anything else that requires more intellectual input and creativity and whatnot. Why? Because it, like all these other things, has a purpose. And it’s certainly not to makes us dumb. -.- It’s to make us laugh and chill. And it fulfills it consummately.

    That’s what it’s all about. I hope you all learn something from this ownage I’ve presented here. Btw, there is NOTHING WRONG with you not liking or even hating Raymond, sitcoms, or anything else in the world. But this is really not the way to show it, especially since you are supposed to be shaping people’s tastes and opinions by providing them with professional and knowleadgeable input. In fact, that’s why I read reviews. I’ve been reading Roger Ebert’s and Robert Christgau’s stuff for years now. Well, that’s my .02 cents. Take care all, and I apologize for my discourtesy that was the result of uncontrolled rage and passion.

  • Lin

    I always hated Raymond. It’s a dull show for dullards to find entertaining.Ray Ramano positively sucks as a comedian and actor. He’s homely and that nasal voice of his makes me want to sh** through my nose! Now that the show has been off network TV for years now, the f-ing reruns are nonstop. Too many stations airing this sh**! Screw TVland and their f-uped TV shows. TVland used to be great. No more:(

  • Frank

    The wife is the only sane person but Raymond is lazy but worse than that he’s weak, unable to make decisions when the result can’t please everyone simultaneously he cries, “what do I do, tell me, what do I do”. It’s not funny, so very sad and worrying when people can’t see why.

  • John

    Ray Ramano is a comedic bomb! His comedy routines are banal, Everybody Loves Raymond is about as entertaining as wet farting when you’re wearing white; Ramano sounds like shit and looks the part too. A big eagle beak shnoz, and that horrid nasal voice! Ick! Patricia Heaton is another one who diserves to be banned from the entertainment industry. She has nothing going for her whatsoever! A pint-sized, no talent bow wow! It’s good to know Ray and Patricia have fewer and fewer gigs open to them. The only REAL talent on Raymond was Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle. Doris is a great actress and Peter was as well.

  • Fer

    HOLLY CRAP!

  • Ihatesyou

    I agree over here they play it every single night on tv year after year it is just bad ban it get rid of it burn the fuckers idc.

  • franz chong

    It’s a great show.I am Australian and before we got digital TV Home and Away used to be my 7pm staple on the Other TV while my Mum either watched the Big Bang Theory or 7pm Project or Two and a Half Men Now We Together watch Everybody loves Raymond and it’s way better even though long out of production than any of that other garbage.Those of you who watch those other shows at 7pm have no idea what you are missing out on with a great sitcom.

  • Jak

    Raymond sucks, period! I always hated the show from when it was new. Just plain awful. Patricia Heaton used to be ok looking when she was younger, then she got old in her 40s and got ugly. Ray Ramano is no comic. Just a whiney prick who doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Why do they rerun this crap so much?

  • Jeremy Yates

    you know what everybody loves raymond is a smashing hit….. i love the show and i am not losing brain cells and debra isnt shrewish or nagging telling him to do something around the house when it is expected for him to do and i am a christian white and republican like i said its a smashing hit and you could not think of anything thats better

  • Velha Guarda Tricolor

    If people were to have hope in the human nature they wouldn’t have to rely so damn much on their bank accounts. The “everyone for himself, for what they want in the next 5 min” motto that you very well mentioned just reinforces that selfishness. Which is to be perceived not only as funny, but most of all, absolutely natural and human nature. It is no accident they finance and produce series like this one. BC it foments consumerism. You may think this is a conspiracy theory however is nothing more than what it sets out to do. If it was against consumerism it wouldn’t be on TV, since TV makes money from their Advertisers.