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Emmy Awards ’06: Best and Worst Dressed

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Even though Sunday night's Emmy telecast proved to be a snorefest minus some very deserved wins, the fashion was, as always, something to talk about.  There were a few hits, and, of course, quite a few misses.  Okay… a lot of misses. 

Worst Dressed

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Dear Jesus.  This debacle is almost as bad Reese Witherspoon's hopeless Oscar dress.  One of those ghosts should have whispered to Jennifer Love Hewitt that less is more.  Not even Cher would look twice at this shit. This looks like something that, at one point, was actually a decent dress, and then they turned it over to a new employee at Michael's Arts and Crafts. The hair's pretty decent, though – kind of old-school Hollywood.  Reminds me of Katharine McPhee's Big Sexy campaign.

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Mariska, girl, I love you.  And I'm so glad you finally won that Emmy you've long deserved – even more glad you look so stunning after just giving birth.  But this dress looks like a pack of rose bushes attacked you and slit your dress right up the middle.  I know vertical lines are slimming, but next time, go for stripes.

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What's with all these talented women pulling off fashion no-nos this year (mind you, I'm not referring to Hewitt)?  Kyra Sedgwick (or as some know her, Mrs. Kevin Bacon) was the only other woman worthy of taking the Emmy trophy for Lead Actress in a Drama if it weren't Hargitay, but this sack of curtains savagely mauled with garden shears probably made the academy go back and change the name in the envelope.  he dress wouldn't have been so bad were it not for that huge circular thing right under her left hip.  It looks like a prop from The Big Comfy Couch.

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What..the hell?  I could swear I've seen that print on one of my aunt's walls.  It doesn't surprise me that loopy Paula Abdul would show up to the Emmys in true drunken and heavily medicated fashion with a horrid excuse for a gown, but lord, woman, being 50 doesn't mean you have to dress like Betty White's bed sheets. 

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Let's not get started on how disgusting it is that Sandra Oh was passed over for the snoozer Blythe Danner.  But considering the Grey's Anatomy star's choice of outfit, I'm inclined to forgive.  The bottom half of the dress is actually halfway decent – it's very haute couture.  But the top half is what does it in – it turns into some kind of Hallmark frill-fest.  And, of course, Sandra has to make it even worse with the overdone jewelry she bought from the street vendors in the East Village.  Side note: People who have big foreheads should not wear their hair back.  Just ask Toni Collette – she knows why nobody went to see In Her Shoes.

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Once again, the forehead rule applies.  Tyra herself has even said she's got a "fivehead", yet she insists on wearing the hair up and back.  I think I might actually like this dress if it were a solid color like Sandra Oh's or Kyra Sedgwick's, but this weird mosh posh of lavendar, black, and see-through just isn't doing it for me.  I know, I know, it's not really see-through, it's that skin-colored crap.  But either way, it looks just as tacky (see Britney Spears at the 2000 VMAs).  

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MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo probably looked the worst out of every single woman on the red carpet.  I know your salary isn't that great working at TRL, but can't new boyfriend Nick Lachey lend you some change so you can have a decent Emmy gown?  Wait.. why are you at the Emmys anyway?  Whatever the reason, it looks like some Bollywood dress meets second grade art project gone very, very bad.

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What is with the Grey's Anatomy women and horrid fashion?  You're already second to Desperate Housewives in ratings and award wins, why must you let them show you up on the red carpet, too?  Maybe if this were a different material it could be a decent dress but this dress, those eyebrows, the Kellie Pickler hair – it just ain't working, Ellen.  The material's too T.J. Maxx, and the design's too Lady of the Lake.

Best Dressed

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Does Evangeline Lilly ever look bad on the red carpet?  I swear, she's a goddess.  Very classic, simple, elegant.  Love it.  She looks great in blues, greens, and purples.

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Not really feeling the hair-do on Heidi Klum, but the dress is grade A fashion – even if it does look like it came off the maternity rack.

 

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Her show didn't win anything, but Jamie Lynn Sigler still looked nice, flowy, and delicate.  Kind of looks like something you could buy at J.C. Penney, but it's beautiful nonetheless.

 

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Damn, at least somebody's representing from Grey's Anatomy.  Ms. Katherine Heigl looked absolutely stunning in her cream-colored, sparkly gown.  This is how sparkles should be done, Ms. Hewitt!  Katharine looked like a '40s bombshell on the red carpet with her smoky eyeliner and classy finger wave.  Kudos to Izzie Stevens.

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I have to give it to two-time Emmy winner Julia Louis-Dreyfus.  Even though I'm not a big fan of hers, of Seinfeld, or of her new show, The New Adventures of Old Christine, I must admit she had the best dress on the red carpet this Sunday.  It was simple, crisp, chic, and the black trim around the bust was brilliant!  I need to find out who made that dress so I can worship them forever.

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Nominee Jaime Pressly was an eye-catcher with this exquisite deep purple gown that almost looks as if it was chiseled by Jesus to fit her body.  Everything about it is fabulous, the train at the bottom, the cute little design above the knees, the print, the color – just everything.  Love it, love it, love it.

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Even though it's a little ridiculous that Debra Messing was nominated yet again this year for Will & Grace, a show that went down the toilet years ago and has been rotting there ever since, I will forgive her shutting out the brilliant Marcia Cross for wearing this dress.  The odd thing is that I feel like I would hate it were it on anyone else, but something about the way it hangs on her, the color of the dress perfectly matching her gorgeous complexion, and, of course, her beautiful face and fiery red hair to top it all off.  Both of Grace's gays (Will and Jack) would approve.  Karen's a tough one to please, though.

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We, of course, can't leave out the men.  Even though is wife's dress makes me both go blind and wanna puke, nominee Denis Leary looked ravishing in his sleek black suit with the perfect red tie to finish off the look.  And, someone as cool as Denis couldn't go without the shades.

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Sigh… Jeremy Piven.  Could this man get any more dreamy?  I was ecstatic he was finally given the Emmy win he deserved for playing Ari Gold on HBO's Entourage, but I couldn't forget how great he looked.  He was by far the most fashionable man on the Emmy red carpet.  Of course, he could wear a trash bag and a handful of extension cords and still be the hottest thing in Tinseltown.

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About Chris Evans

  • Mike Wyldegod

    You’re an idiot. Saying that Love is the worst dressed is purely useless and intended only to mock and demean someone you obviously don’t like. She’s one of the few that looked comfortable, seemed to be enjoying herself and not there for a complete ego stroke and above all else, she now has an absolutely stunning figure and looks more like a woman than any of the other women there. I’m going to go with Whiny Little Fag/Bitch Syndrome on this one and not give you the benefit of the doubt. Picking Lilly’s figureless purple concoction or Messing’s Layered whatever you call that upside down wedding cake over Love is just ignorance. Complete and utter ignorance. You really should have your head examined.

  • Julia

    Apparently Mike missed the big bold red letters that read “Personal attacks are not allowed”.

  • http://emmyfashions larry

    i agree with the comment abo
    i agr

    i agree with post about the personal attacks. its the emmys for petes sake. par of he fun is the red carpet. as in who are you wearing and dissing the dresses.its entertaim ,bub

    post