How much ass does a man need? Quite a bit, apparently.
As you no doubt have heard, New York governor Eliot Spitzer is alleged to have paid for a high-priced ho. A very high-priced ho. Rumor has it that the pros at the Emperors Club charge as much as $5500 an hour for their services, and that the governor was a repeat customer.
A lot of questions have been asked since the news broke yesterday. Will Spitzer resign his position? Should he? Will his poor wife continue to stand by his side? Will Lieutenant Governor David Paterson take over should Spitzer resign? However, no one has asked the most pertinent question, at least not in polite company. What exactly does one get for $5500 an hour?
According to court papers related to the investigation, Spitzer had a tryst with a young lady named Kristen, an "American, petite, very pretty brunette." The two spent about 2 1/2 hours together after which time Kristen collected $4300. I guess maybe she gave him a discount. The funny thing is, Spitzer paid for extras like train tickets, cab fare, room service, etc.
I'm not trying to tell Kristen how to do her job, but maybe she should have comped the poor guy for the extras? Keep the client happy, you know? I mean, he's spending a lot of money as it is. At $5500 and hour, she could probably afford it more than he can. Speaking of that, dig this discussion Kristen had with her "booking agent," Temeka. Temeka asked what Kristen would do if she was asked to do "basic" things that were "unsafe," to which Kristen replied as follows:"I have a way of dealing with that. … I'd be like, listen dude, you really want the sex?"
Dude. Let me get this straight. The man is paying you $5500 an hour and you’re going to get uppity? You’re going to give him lip? I'm sorry for saying so Kristen dear, but no one's paying you to talk. If I were paying that kind of money I'd expect you to keep your trap shut and do whatever I wanted. There are a lot of whores in New York and they won't all charge $5500 an hour. Some of them will do a whole lot more than "basic" stuff and charge a whole lot less.
Then again, maybe Kristen is the smart one in this whole nasty affair. He's paying all that money and all he wanted was "basic" stuff? My God man, use your imagination! I'll bet your wife does more than that. For free!
You’d think a Princeton man would know better than to get caught with his pants down. Especially when that Princeton man used to be the Attorney General of New York and probably knew exactly what kind of crimes he was committing. He used to prosecute just this kind of thing! Duh.
So, Governor Spitzer, or should I say Client Number Nine? I want my vote back. I can tolerate horniness, but I expected a little less stupidity from you. I look forward to your wife’s expose.