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Eliot And The Platinum Hoo-Hah

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How much ass does a man need? Quite a bit, apparently.

As you no doubt have heard, New York governor Eliot Spitzer is alleged to have paid for a high-priced ho. A very high-priced ho. Rumor has it that the pros at the Emperors Club charge as much as $5500 an hour for their services, and that the governor was a repeat customer.

A lot of questions have been asked since the news broke yesterday. Will Spitzer resign his position? Should he? Will his poor wife continue to stand by his side? Will Lieutenant Governor David Paterson take over should Spitzer resign? However, no one has asked the most pertinent question, at least not in polite company. What exactly does one get for $5500 an hour?

According to court papers related to the investigation, Spitzer had a tryst with a young lady named Kristen, an "American, petite, very pretty brunette." The two spent about 2 1/2 hours together after which time Kristen collected $4300. I guess maybe she gave him a discount. The funny thing is, Spitzer paid for extras like train tickets, cab fare, room service, etc.

I'm not trying to tell Kristen how to do her job, but maybe she should have comped the poor guy for the extras? Keep the client happy, you know? I mean, he's spending a lot of money as it is. At $5500 and hour, she could probably afford it more than he can. Speaking of that, dig this discussion Kristen had with her "booking agent," Temeka. Temeka asked what Kristen would do if she was asked to do "basic" things that were "unsafe," to which Kristen replied as follows:"I have a way of dealing with that. … I'd be like, listen dude, you really want the sex?"

Dude. Let me get this straight. The man is paying you $5500 an hour and you’re going to get uppity? You’re going to give him lip? I'm sorry for saying so Kristen dear, but no one's paying you to talk. If I were paying that kind of money I'd expect you to keep your trap shut and do whatever I wanted. There are a lot of whores in New York and they won't all charge $5500 an hour. Some of them will do a whole lot more than "basic" stuff and charge a whole lot less.

Then again, maybe Kristen is the smart one in this whole nasty affair. He's paying all that money and all he wanted was "basic" stuff? My God man, use your imagination! I'll bet your wife does more than that. For free!

You’d think a Princeton man would know better than to get caught with his pants down. Especially when that Princeton man used to be the Attorney General of New York and probably knew exactly what kind of crimes he was committing. He used to prosecute just this kind of thing! Duh.

So, Governor Spitzer, or should I say Client Number Nine? I want my vote back. I can tolerate horniness, but I expected a little less stupidity from you. I look forward to your wife’s expose.

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About Wanda Rizzuto

  • Joanne Huspek

    Woo-eee! That’s just hilarious! The best thing is that Eliot Baby was so anti-prostitution. I guess those that protest the loudest are the ones you have to watch out for.

  • Ruvy in Jerusalem

    Finally, Wanda, someone got the thrust of the issue right on the head (puns intended).

    Great job, hilarious read. I didn’t vote for the prick (haven’t lived in Noo Yawk for almost three decades), but I’ll bet my sister wants her vote hack!

  • Dan Miller

    If Governor Spitzer “cops a plea” by resigning, with no trial and no jail time, things are worse in the U.S. than I was so naive as to believe.

    There are numerous emotional aspects to this story, none of which should have any meaning in our judicial system. Governor Spitzer may be a hypocritical jerk, to whom morality is of no importance. However, even accepting these theses, he is either guilty or innocent of whatever charges may be brought against him. The other stuff will be pertinent at sentencing, should he be convicted.

    Let’s have no plea bargain, let’s have a trial on the merits, and see what happens. Not guilty? Fine. Guilty? Fine, and then the sentencing process must take place. But please let us have no different process simply because Governor Spitzer is the governor of a state, or because (based on the news accounts thus far) he appears to be a hypocritical jerk.

    Dan Miller

  • The Obnoxious American

    Most “Johns” that get busted in America face no trial or jail time. That’s just the way it is. Law enforcement tends to go after the supplier. I personally no one should have to go to jail for such supposed crimes.

    It does give his wife more than ample grounds for getting a divorce though, and she should. Or perhaps she will keep him around and make his life miserable. Probably one of the two, and you can’t cop any kind of plea bargain for that sentence.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    He could have taken a worse shot to his image if, at $5500/hour, he received a bill of $45.50.

  • http://rapturenutballs.blogspot.com Baritone

    It’s a classic case of hubris. I’m sure Spitzer felt he was invulnerable. Most people who do really stupid things do think they are somehow beyond discovery.

    What actually caught the idiot was his having made a number of bank transfers that sent up red flags to those watching for the movement of large sums of money or large numbers of transactions – mobsters, terrorists & the like. It was Spitzer who, as New York’s attorney general made certain that the state’s regulators had all the latest software to enable them to find and follow such transactions. It is believed that Spitzer spent as much as eighty grand to wet his dip stick. What a dick!

    I agree with Wanda. When it comes down to it, who gives a crap who shagging who, or whether they pay for it? One does wonder at Spitzer’s sense of fiscal responsibility. Do New Yorkers want that guy overseeing the state’s budget?

    It’s not the sex. It’s the deception. The hypocracy. The disloyalty. The lack of honesty and regard for his wife, his office, his constituents. In that respect this is the same failure of character that plagued “Billy Bob” Clinton.

    I do find myself wishing he was a republican. Oh well.

    B-tone

  • STM

    That’s it Baritone. It’s not the sex. I mean, who really cares in this day and age. Grown-ups make their own decisions on this stuff.

    But you’re right, it’s the lying and cheating and the hypocrisy that is the issue … saying one thing, doing another.

    And he’s married, right?

  • http://rapturenutballs.blogspot.com Baritone

    Oh yes, he’s married. His wife is a very attractive woman who is likely at least his intellectual equal – both are grads from Harvard Law, I believe. Considering the present circumstance, I’d say she’s got him beat by a smidge.

    Some have said that the race is on to see which happens first – his resignation or her divorce filing.

    Actually, I don’t think the latter is going to happen. Who knows what the parameters of their relationship have been? Just as with Bill and Hillary.

    I do think he could have gotten a better deal on his trysts, though. Like Wanda suggests, he should have gotten some mileage discounts or something.

    B-tone

  • JustOneMan

    Obama and Spitzer – Are they alike?

    Interesting Spitzer was elected on the same promises of change, the promise integrity, a new way of politics and high morale principle….sounds just like Obama’s (The First Affirmative Action Candidate) droning in his scripted stump speaches…

    JOM will make a prediction…Obama (The First Affirmative Action Candidate)win or lose the primary will be outed and go down due to some sort of ethical flaw just as Spitzer…

    Can you spell Rezko?

    JOM [Edited]

  • http://www.wandarizzuto.com Wanda Rizzuto

    Thanks for all the comments everyone.

    JOM (may I call you that?) No personal attacks here, I always give peace a chance. I don’t mind anyway, I’m new here and I could use the clicks.

    I will say that I don’t think you understand what affirmative action is though. Thanks for stopping by anyway. Tell your friends!

  • REMF

    “Obama and Spitzer – Are they alike?”
    – JOM

    Actually those who most resemble Spitzer are Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich and Marv Albert.

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    JOM, I suggest you refresh your memory as to the BC comments policy. Go take a look at it. Read it through slowly, paying particular attention to the following:

    “We reserve the right to edit/delete comments that are some combination of pointlessly vulgar, vile, cruel, without redeeming qualities, and an embarrassment to the site.”

    Think about it. Then get back to us if you still have questions.

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ Elliott

    Apparently Spitzer was doing this sort of thing for over a decade. Sounds like he and his wife had some sort of an agreement, because I don’t know how he could have kept it a secret from her for so long.

    Many people believe that Hill & Bill had (have?) a similar arrangement. Although in Bill’s case, it’s rather more understandable… :-/

  • http://tigereye.wordpress.com Tigereye

    I can’t understand all those wives who sit or stand by their men while said men apologize for crap like this. I’d be holding my own press conference out in the parking lot, while I cranked up the chainsaw and waited for hubby to come outside.

  • http://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com NancyGail

    I’m getting the impression the sex was the least of Spitzer’s legal problems.

  • http://corinajoyc.wordpress.com Corina

    It’s tough for the wives to stand by like that, Tigereye. I couldn’t do it. However, sometimes I wish I had been able to . If I had, it would have saved me the past fifteen years of being all alone. And the money problems of being divorced. There is a stigma attached to divorce, still, and that has followed all of us, my kids and me. I do know several women who have chosen to stay because, in their words, they aren’t strong enough to end the marriage, regardless of what a sham it is.

    I guess people have their own reasons. We just don’t know what goes on inside each person.

  • http://www.vassilisa.wordpress.com Daners

    Can I just say I read the title as “Eliot and the Phantom Hoo-Hah” at first and I thought that would make an excellent Scooby-Doo episode.

    Excellent job, Wanda! And I love your verbal smack-down of JOM, or whatever his name was

  • http://www.stevepeer.net Stevo

    Wonderful, Ms Rizzuto.

  • Judy Bloom

    “JOM will make a prediction…Obama (The First Affirmative Action Candidate)win or lose the primary will be outed and go down due to some sort of ethical flaw just as Spitzer…

    Can you spell Rezko?”

    Judy Bloom will make a prediction, too!

    … Jom (The commenter who decided to obsess over Barack Obama on a post about Eliot Spitzer) will be outed and go down due to some ethical flaw, just as Spitzer.

    Can you spell Wacko?