We all want to deny aging and infirmity but the fact is that many of us — and I’m speaking mostly for baby boomers — can no longer pretend that youth is eternal. We find ourselves having to face all kinds of inconvenient and embarrassing infirmities, some surprising and some expected. But unlike past generations, baby boomers will not be denied their pleasures.
And that very much goes for sex. Contrary to the ageist notions of the young – notions that we are all guilty of having harbored at one point or another during our lives – as you age, your sexual needs do not go up in some puff of elderly smoke. Oh, sure, in some ways and from time to time, the flesh can’t keep up with the spirit, but the spirit never stops egging you on.
Of course, I’m not speaking for myself. My goal is to die at 100 in the middle of an orgy.
So on a recent tour of certain health related sites, I discovered a sex tape, Sex, Intimacy, and Diabetes, for people with diabetes. And although I don't have diabetes, I was thrilled. As an aging baby boomer, I watched this tape and found myself imbued with revolutionary spirit.
Oddly, although this educational DVD is designed to help people with diabetes overcome fear of intimacy and concerns regarding performance, the conversation delivers sound advice for all couples, straight and gay, who are now facing or will face sexual boredom — or perhaps “plateaus” is a kinder word.
You’ll likely giggle when a sultry former Miss America talks about how she and her husband worked to eroticize her insulin pump; and the women out there will surely have a laugh or two listening to a husband discussing his journey of discovery that led to the realization that there’s more to sex and physical pleasure than the old in and out.
And speaking of Miss America: surprisingly and happily, the DVD even has some very candid star power including Nicole Johnson Baker, the first Miss America (crowned in 1999) with diabetes and Jim Turner of HBO’s Arliss — celebrities with diabetes and sex lives.
Produced by dLife TV and the Public Health Foundation, this DVD on sex, intimacy, and diabetes teaches much about sexual communication. I’d even suggest it could be useful for folks without diabetes. You can sneak it in the old DVR under the pretense of “isn’t this amusing.” And end up teaching your lover a thing or two about the value and benefits of communication and experimentation.
For Miss America the issue may have been an insulin pump, but the same lessons she and her husband learned and the experts discuss are easily applied to eroticizing safe sex and other issues.
One expert makes the bold statement that many couples dealing with diabetes likely enjoy more robust sex lives and deeper feelings of intimacy than so called “healthy” couples simply because they are forced to communicate and resolve issues of intimacy and eroticism that are so easily ignored by too many sex partners over the long term.
As far as I can tell this is the first film of its kind: a full-length feature on sexual dysfunction for people dealing with a chronic disease. One can only hope that it is one of many to come and that the pioneering work done by dLife TV and the Public Health Foundation will resonate and more caregivers will start to focus on the fact that most of us, regardless of age and issues, are still dealing with that very same libido that came knocking at our door shortly after the onset of puberty.
By the way, the film opens with a very funny series of man-on-the-street interviews on the subject of sexual dysfunction. On it’s own, that part is worth the price of admission — but it’s also available for a free viewing on the dLife website.