Ever think about stalking a celebrity? Who would you choose? Angelina Jolie? WRONG! Johnny Depp? WRONG! Brad Pitt? WRONG! Julia Roberts? WRONG! You are being unrealistic! C’mon, think about it. If you want to stalk someone (not that those four haven’t had their share of over-ardent fans), shouldn’t it be someone who is more accessible? Someone who approaches (or is) your ideal but is either: a) just starting out, or b) on the way out? Gwyneth Paltrow might be a little more difficult to get close to than, say, Leif Garrett, don’cha think?
I Think We’re Alone Now is a documentary that introduces us to two people who share the same obsession—Tiffany. They don’t consider themselves stalkers or even fans—just friends. They are both convinced that they have a connection to Tiffany, and that she is their friend who truly cares about them.
The first “friend” introduced is Jeff Turner, a man against whom Tiffany got a restraining order. Tiffany is the center of his life and he communicates with her using a radionics helmet. He maintains files containing hundreds of magazine and newspaper articles about her and has photos of her plastered all over his home. When one first sees Turner, one wouldn’t guess that there is something odd about him. However, he has Asperger’s syndrome, so his social skills do not fit his society’s standards. He laughs too much and seems totally unaware that people walk away from him when he drones on and on.
The second “friend” is Kelly McCormick who is an intersexual who believes that Tiffany connected with him while he was in a coma following a serious accident. Since that time s/he has been totally obsessed with having her be part of his/her life. When s/he attends her show in Las Vegas, it is with the hope that she will be returning to his/her Colorado home with him.
Jeff’s stepfather (who thinks he’s suffering from a mental disease) and friends are interviewed, and some people hold him in high regard (e.g., the pastor of his church). Kelly’s friends are also interviewed, and they seem split between those that say “he” and those that say “she” when talking about Kelly. One fellow actually used both terms throughout his interview segment.
Since I Think We’re Alone Now is told from Jeff’s and Kelly’s points of view, the viewer doesn’t see or hear too much negative information about them. While Tiffany at one time had the order of protection against Jeff, she speaks with him and allows him to be photographed with her. It’s almost as if she’s resigned to him being her personal haunt.
For Jeff, his few moments with Tiffany after a performance are like a religious experience. Possibly as arranged by director Sean Donnelly (it’s never clear), Jeff and Kelly meet for the Las Vegas show. Neither of the two seem dangerous, but isn’t that what they say about all sociopaths? The feeling I Think We’re Alone Now leaves us with is sadness for these two people who live in a world in which they don’t fit and are consumed by their love of a former pop princess.
Special features: audio commentaries by Jeff and Kelly, a trailer, “Jeffisms” (Jeff’s wacky contributions to the English language), “Kelly’s Impressions” (of celebrities), “Jeff on Alyssa Milano” (he wishes!), “Kelly’s Poetry,” “The Mysterious Tiffany Letters”, Preston Nichols’ Machine” (it’s related to time travel), and “Marshall Weeks + Rhythmic Gymnastics” (Marshall Weeks is Jeff’s friend who also has Asperger’s.).
Bottom Line: Would I buy/rent/stream I Think We’re Alone Now? Stream—it’s interesting and strange, but not something I need to see more than once.