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DVD Review: House (2008)

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House was scheduled to be released in 2007 by Fox Faith, a division of 20th Century Fox. However the movie's release date was pushed back for whatever reason and it arrived in limited release on November 7, 2008. It would be more appropriate to air House on the SyFy (formerly SciFi) Channel, rather than suckering a small sum of money from the few people who want to watch what ought to be a refreshing slasher flick, you know, something other than another dull addition to the Saw series.

In the film, two couples in Alabama find themselves victims of a strange accident, leaving them with no car and no phone. Resorting to the only reasonable idea (find a nearby house and call for help), the couples come upon a house occupied by a group of strangers who claim to have been victims of a similar accident. After staying for a discomforting dinner, they soon realize that the strangers in the house worship the devil and are planning a sacrifice.

Unfortunately, the slasher genre has run dry the past few years without a single refreshing horror idol since Freddy was born in '84, leaving House's villian, The Tin Man, to be a trifling footnote to the slasher genre.

House, complete with wretched acting and the lowest grade of camera work to date, is easily the worst horror movie of '08. Attempts to add another slasher icon to the numerous counts of slice-and-dice maniacs are becoming nonsensical. This routine is getting old quickly and if we keep paying to see bad slasher movies like this one, they'll keep making them.

Provided with a cast of virtually unknown actors who are lost in their roles and a veteran actor (Michael Madsen) who sorely disappoints on every level possible, House doesn't just vanish hope for nearly all modern day slasher flicks, but the horror genre itself is becoming a questionable choice when approaching the ticket booth. It's films like this that leave fans of the genre iffy about paying to see another madman pick off likely teenagers one by one.

Lacking the campy feel required to sustain a guilty pleasure level of interest, nor maintain the ability to be a suspenseful or effective horror film, House is given nothing useful and, in return, the audience is given a forgettable, cheap, and predictable way to blow its money.

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