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DVD Review: Destruction Kings

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Destruction Kings, the latest from the gang at Low Budget Pictures, may well be one of their most ambitious projects to date. Fifteen years ago, Chris Seaver and his band of stalwart thespians started giving us the most bizarre films to ever grace the DVD shelves. With crazy titles like Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker, Anal Paprika (which is up to its third installment) and The Karaoke Kid, Low Budget Pictures, or LBP as they like to call it, showed us a world of people addicted to chocolate, a crazy bastard named Teen Ape, and the unholy love of all that is John Stamos.

Chris Seaver’s world is much like the world of Kevin Smith. Tons of wild, off beat film references, characters that continue from film to film, and a general disregard for the viewing public at large. Both of these men know what they like and they make it their way. This has garnered a rabid fan following for Chris Seaver with people as ready to leap to his defense as Kevin Smith’s fans do for him.

In Destruction Kings, the characters of Bonejack and Teen Ape are the two top operatives of the P.I.A. (Paranormal Investigations Agency). Bonejack is a martial arts cross between Bill Cosby and Don King (I’m totally serious here) who is stricken with Michael Jackson Disease so Seaver wouldn’t have to wear black face anymore and the creature known as Teen Ape is basically a guy in an ape mask with a libido as big as the great outdoors. These two take on all that is unholy in the city of Bonejack Heights.  Their newest assignment seems pretty run of the mill; find out why all the strippers in the city are coming up missing.

Teamed with their newest member, Brandy (Ariauna Albright), the trio finds out they have bitten off more than they can chew. The missing strippers are being turned into an undead army for Dracula, The Wolfman, and Funkenstein (no, I didn’t misspell that name. It’s Funkenstein because this monster can lay down some mad tunes.).

Way over their head, the threesome teams up with a gang of monster hunting kids and set about to destroy the unholy trio. To make matters worse, Brandy carries an amulet Dracula can use to cover the world in darkness to make mankind his slaves for all eternity.

Destruction Kings is a low budget (hence the name of the company) horror comedy that breaks any boundaries of good taste. A fine example would be when an upstart pair of P.I.A. agents confronts Bonejack and Teen Ape in the hallway of the agency. Teen Ape reaches into the back of his pants, flings crap on their horrified faces, and says "That’s right, that’s my poop on your face."

True comedic genius working here, folks. Chris Seaver has been successfully producing films for fifteen years and he’s not even thirty years old yet. Destruction Kings is the icing on the cake for the fans that have stuck with him for this long.

So, what could be next? That’s right, the Harry Potter inspired Heather And Puggly Cock Block The Apocalypse, another foray into comedy nirvana.

The DVD for Destruction Kings comes with a commentary by Chris Seaver and Casey Bowker, who plays the part of Teen Ape. It’s actually quite informative and let’s us in on the machinations of the micro budget film world. In addition, we get a blooper reel and a faux documentary called Debbie Rochon and 25 Years of LBP. This is funny since the company has only been around for 15 years. There are also other trailers for LBP features that are a must have for any true fan.

So, in conclusion, it’s probably best said by the irrepressible Bonejack when he utters the immortal line "It’s all about the pudding." Damn straight, Mr. Bonejack. Damn straight.

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