I dated this guy for about four months, before we broke up in March. He was my dream guy; we got along well, and we’re still friends. He told me a couple weeks ago that he loved me. He actually said, “I love you.” I was very taken aback, as he’s a guy who only expresses his feelings when he truly means it.
Ever since he said “I love you”, he hasn’t said it again. We are currently not together, partly because he’s going to Medical school an hour and a half away from my college. But he’s going to be living closer me starting in August, and we’ve talked about getting back together.
I am trying to not get hurt, like I have in past relationships. But I really do love him, even though I haven’t told him that. We were friends before we dated, and he’s always been there for me. He tells me that I am the only one he trusts, especially since his father died.
I want to be with him, but I am very scared of getting hurt. What should I do?
Wanting to Tear Down Walls
You want to tear down your walls? Well good. Because living in a fortress is no way to live.
Your man sounds like a good one. He says he loves you and you say he shows up for you. He says he trusts you. This shows that he’s aware of his emotions, and he’s able and willing to communicate. You were friends, then lovers and then friends again – so it’s undeniable that there is a connection. Furthermore, you call him your “Dream Guy”.
He told you he loved you, but he hasn’t said it since. Well come on! Do you blame him? You didn’t respond! How about this for a replay:
“I love you, Walls.”
“Really? You’re my dream guy.”
Where do you think you’d be right now, if you’d have said that?
Look. You can let this unfold, because it will. He wants you and you want him and things will happen. But I’d think hard about giving this thing some gas.
Because I see your Scorpio there. I understand how deeply you feel… pain in particular. But do you understand that you cannot thrive without an intimate connection to another person? Because you can’t. And I understand you’re afraid, but you want to know a real horror scenario? How about dying, holding all of your cards unplayed?
Feed this guy and let him feed you. Life is way too short not to share. Especially love.
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