You probably already heard that we have lost White House spokesman Scott McClellan. It seems the administration is embattled in what can only be described as ‘the biggest criminal enterprise in America’ and citizens demanded change. You, the American Electorate, demanded the President be accountable for the worst Presidency in history. They responded, and fired the messenger. Listen, maybe you are tired of being lied to by your government every single day… but don’t blame Scotty. Dude was doing his job. Scotty’s job is to lie for the Bush crime family, and I can not wait until his book comes out.
I hate this administration, you know that. I really grew fond of Scotty over the years. I admired him for his huge juevos grandes. There are some phrases that have become a big part of my life here in Colorado. One is “Saved by Wah!” If you lived here, you’d know how much that used to mean to every Coloradan. I miss hearing it since Patrick Roy retired from goalkeeping for the Colorado Avalanche. Another thing I got used to hearing from the TV news every day was this: “It is the policy of this administration not to comment on an ongoing investigation.” You remember that…I mean, remember this:
- The White House outing a deep cover spy for spite
- Frist’s epic misdiagnosis of Terry Schiavo
- Finding out Halliburton doubled billed us for fuel
- DeLay’s indictment
- Scooter Libby’s indictment
- Randall ‘Duke’ Cunningham’s indictment (and conviction)
- GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff’s indictment (and conviction)
- Illinois Republican Governor Ryan’s indictment (and conviction)
- The revelation that GOP racist Strom Thurmond had a black love child
- It turned out the president lied about WMDs in Iraq
- The Jeff Gannon scandal
- The President lost the presidency in 2000 but got to stay
- He failed to be concerned about Al Queda’s determination to strike inside the US with airplanes
- He demoted FEMA from a cabinet position
- He hired a horse lawyer to run FEMA
- He sent Colin Powell to lie to the UN about anthrax
- The Harriet Miers thing
- Trent Lott’s resignation on the heel of his racist comments
- The President taking four days to comment on the worst natural disaster in history (the tsunami) because he was on vacation
I was going to hyperlink those references to their sources, but it would have blown up my computer — nay the Internet itself. This President is more than the worst President in history, he is the devil. I have no compassion for the devil, but I sure did respect the balls of the guy offering to defend him.
Remember those silly little scandals? That is when Scotty rushed in like a champion. He stood there every day in front of those lions and lied to their faces. That was his job, and the President ran him out of office because Americans got tired of being lied to. No fair. I miss Scotty and I want him back. There is only one person who can make this better… the great evil wizard himself himself.
Here is what troubles me about the guy who takes this job. I mean, maybe McClellan really believed in this administration and its rhetoric. Maybe he wanted to serve a noble purpose and only later found out he was the front guy for the Bush crime family. Thing is, that can be forgiven. Any dude who steps in now knows these guys are criminals with zero regard for human life or the working class. How can he be forgiven? The answer is simply that he cannot. Whoever takes this job is knowingly complicit in the destruction of democracy and its values. Maybe that is why word has it that it will be a Fox news guy (John Snow).
Sorry America, but if you want shit fixed, changing the doormat won’t fix it. Vote in 2006, and 2008. Be a decider, as the President says.