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DIY Helmet Stops Alien Abductions

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The “Thought Screen Helmet” prevents telepathic communications between aliens and humans. According to the website, it is a tested, proven device, that can be created from a mere $35 in materials. Scientific validity aside, it certainly is a fashion statement.

According to the website, the helmet stops “several types” of aliens from probing the mind. As advanced a technology as this appears to be, the materials are decidedly low-tech:

  • Cloth or plastic tape
  • Hat or helmet
  • 3M Velostat

Who would have thought that preventing telepathy could be this easy!

The homepage boasts a very enthusiastic customer recomendation:

“Since trying Michael Menkin’s Helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control. Now my thoughts are my own. I have achieved meaningful work and am contributing to society. My life is better than ever before. Thank you Michael for the work you are doing to save all humanity.”

There is also a “Case Histories” section with a wealth of information, including the only reported abduction of a human wearing the helmet, apparently by a “mantis-type” alien using a staring technique.

The website also promises a that a video will be revealed of aliens that will definitively prove their existence. The video was shot, allegedy, by a lady who has been wearing the Thought Screen Helmet every moment of every day. There’s no mention of what her social life is like.

There is one fairly grainy alien photo on the site itself. According to the author, the large brain proves its mental prowess, and special note is made of its shiny, nutrient-absorbing skin. Of course, it may just be me, but it also looks like a reject from the Cantina scene in Star Wars. But I’m not wearing a Thought Screen Helmet so this could just be alien-domination speaking.

If all of this isn’t enough to convince you to buy out your local supply of Velostat, consider these words by the helmet creator, Michael Menkin:

Since we are being invaded by an alien force from another world, we have a different kind of war. Our war with these beings is one of mind control, mind scan, and telepathic control….Until now, the creatures attacking us could do so at will: they could “switch off” people or render them powerless, manipulate people’s thoughts and cause them to move against their will, project mental images to us, masquerade as a friendly or sexually attractive human, and scan our entire minds.

The “thought screen helmet” is our only defense in a “telepathic war”…

There you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth. Of all the dangers, it is the penultimate threat he exposes that causes me the most distress: aliens masquerading as “sexually attractive humans.” As if beer-goggling wasn’t enough, now we’ve got mind-goggling!?! Now THAT is a problem. Get me some Velostat, stat!

[Article cross-posted at The Errant Fool, here.] Pub:NB

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  • I possess a bottle opener made from a kangaroo’s scrotum and I have never been abducted by aliens.

    Yes, folks, it’s true. Kangaroo balls bottle openers prevent alien abductions! Buy one today!!!

  • Mr Truth

    Evil Aliens are you really sure you want to stoop so low as to abduct these humans?

    Many of these humans are the same people that spread crap on sites such as YouTube.com and there is nothing you can do to change these humans so you should let them ruin themselves the hard way :p

    Sometimes that’s all you can do. 🙁

    Seriously check it out if your spacecraft has an onboard computer and you’ll be disgustingly amazed.

    Search UFO Videos and look at the comment section though you have to have a valid emaiil address to sign up but I wouldn’t if I were you.

    *Mr Truth tires to build a homemade UFO to join them but it only gets 20 feet off the ground before it crashes and Mr Truth goes to jail for disturbing the peace*

  • Mr Truth

    Please disable the spam! 🙁 Aliens if you are reading this as a Hybrid please do somethinga bout the spam that’s bashing your races!…….seriously I beg you! 😮

    Do not let yourselfs feel humiliated by these……………….low humans who spam. :p

    Revenge will not change them for the long run and will only provide a temporary fix. :p

  • mooplop

    im gonna tell mummy!

  • NoobKiller now called bob is now called dave killer

    If u do i will send u an email asking you to stop

  • bob is now called dave

    im gonna punch u in a minute!
    lolzorg 😀

  • NoobKiller

    No i kill noobs

  • bob

    cam u r a noob!

  • NoobKiller

    Do you think alien abductions are funny because they are not!

  • bob

    hi cameron!

  • bob

    ha this is so fake!

  • doctor

    mr micheal menkin must be aware that the materials used are not effective by tests from abductees testing out by reports and that velostat is another selection of materials that can be used. tests i have carried out in my own experience of thought screening i would not recomend these materials: static shield out bags these are useless so is aluminium this dosn’t work, niether do copper taped hats, we are dealing with somthin that needs to insulate rather than conduct,as thoughts can pass through it

  • doctor

    they can penetrate ordinary static bags you can hear thoughts reflected and its scary, alumminium foil is useless as your thoughts can be amplified think of somthing better as these materials attract thought energy rather than repel it, 3m velostat effective? it might be worth a try but if your neighbor next door can hear you talk to yourself inside your head be aware of them.

  • Victorio

    It think too it is time to stop laughing about alien abduction!!! Thanks Mike

  • jose victor rosario

    i had a scary experiece with some tipe of aliens…but i dont know if i ben abducted or not …how can i be sure of it?????? thanks…victor rosario.

  • georg


  • The thought screen helmet is a real device. I did test other materials by having people wear helmets. Only Velostat works. The concept of a thought screen helmet is from the novels of E.E. “Doc” Smith.

    The helmet works better if it is grounded, which indicates that it does receive microwave signals. That is on my web site. You did not mention that.

    The case histories are authentic. All of the people in the case histories received helmets from me for free. I made them and sent them with my own money.

    You forgot to mention that stopabductions.com is a public service site. There is nothing for sale.

    The quote is from an abductee who received a helmet from me for free. He did not buy it. He is not a customter.

    You did not mention my background. I have 35 years experience in high technology industries as a technical writer. I have worked on two NASA projects and I have worked for three universities.

    The thought screen helmet demonstrates that microwave energy can be blocked with a simple device. It’s a good invention because of its simplicity.

    It’s time to stop laughing. The videos of aliens are real and will be out later this year.

    Please see my other web site, aliensandchildren.org for information about alien abductions.

    Michael Menkin

  • Tinfoil does not work either.
    You are advised not to try!
    Do not point fingers.
    Do not screech.
    Resistance is futile!
    You WILL be probed!

  • I wonder if velostat + tin foil might equal the greatest defense against telepathy the world has yet seen… Does Major League Baseball know about this? (sorry, Simpsons reference.)

  • Well said, Low Presha.

    Do you write for a living? I think you may have the Great American Novel in you somewhere. Please share your gift with us.

    That is all.

  • low presha

    i bet u think condoms are for stopping youre flesh aarial from getting wet while swimming

  • [points finger at queetzal and screeches]

    Alien! Alien! ALIEN!!

  • Pay no attention, it does not work.

  • Cue “Twilight Zone” theme…

  • What ever happened to some good old tinfoil around the head to keep away the Greys? You can leave it on too if you’re working on some home highlights underneath. Save yourself $35. The aliens will probably stay away because of the foil and because they won’t be as hot to anally probe you once they see your self-applicated highlights.

    That is all.

  • Thanks – this definitely brightened up my morning. Just imagine the parties with everyone wearing these.