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Director Announces Plans To Bring “Pong” To The Big-Screen.

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HOLLYWOOD — While some video games have made a successful transition from console to the big screen (“Resident Evil,” “Tron,” and “Tomb Raider,” for example), others have not done nearly as well. In fact, two recent movies — “House of the Dead” and “Alone in the Dark” — share the distinction of not just being bad video game movies, but also of being two of the worst movies of the past decade, period.

They also share the same director in German “artiste” Uwe Boll, who today announced his intent to bring “Pong” to the big-screen in 2007.

“Pong was the first video game, ever” said Boll. “It’s in the DNA of every video game made ever since. I feel I owe it to the fans of ‘Pong’ to give it the serious treatment it deserves.”

“The storyline of ‘Pong’ is as basic and as beautiful as a Shakespearean sonnet,” Boll said, explaining why he wanted to turn the game into a movie. “It features the forces of good, represented by the left paddle, versus the forces of evil, represented by the right paddle. And in between them are the lives of ordinary people, represented by the ball, being batted back and forth by these diametrically opposed primal forces. The people of the ball have no idea their lives are at the mercy of these two forces. And that is where the true story of ‘Pong’ lies.”

Currently, Boll is finishing production on a movie version of the game “Bloodrayne,” which will be released later this year, and is in preproduction on “Far Cry” and “Hunter: The Reckoning,” both scheduled for release in 2006. Critics expect all three films to royally suck.

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About copygodd

  • It’s already been done. Just check out the opening scene of Russ Meyer’s “Beneath the Valley of the Ultravixens”, it has “Anne Marie” playing Pong, while a player piano plays.

  • damn your filthy hide, russ meyer!

  • How did I know that upon clicking on this link I would find Uwe Boll’s name? Man that guy is awful. I feel he is the worst director working today with studio support.

  • no kidding. that guy is to directing what george lucas is to dialogue.

  • Not to defend GL, but that may even be too insulting to good ole George! 🙂

  • I think Tron was a film before it was a game – pre-console days, really

  • Best.. post.. ever.

    Oh, and check out http://www.uweboll.com

    Has to be the best fan site ever.

  • Eric Olsen

    hilarious CG, you are on a roll – the beauty is it’s plausible

  • LOL, the http://www.uweboll.com site is too perfect.


  • thanks all.

    although i feel a little silly not knowing tron was a movie before it was a game.


    and that uweboll site is classic.

  • copy, just be glad you didn’t accidentally accredit a 1992 release date to a prodigy album released two years later. take it from me good sir, those prodigy fans can get mighty rabid when there’s a hint of the fallacies hanging from a mans prose.

  • thanks.
    that should help me sleep a little better tonight… 😉

  • Considering that when I play The Sims, I usually resort to killing them in really awful ways (my favourite one is put a table in the back yard. Put six espresso machines on it, and force the Sim to go around the table drinking espresso. It usually takes them about four days to die). So I should recess myself from talking about movies based on video games.

    Hey, does anybody want to play an online version of “Thermonuclear War”? Apparently, if you can get through these puzzles, you win a big prize.