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Dick Clark’s Sad New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 06

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The ABC Dick Clark’s Rockin’ Eve 06 show was one of the saddest things I’ve seen in a while, with Dick Clark showing up for hosting duties again after missing last year due to a December 6, 2004 stroke. He hadn’t been doing any public appearances, so this was his coming out party, as it were.

“Last year I had a stroke,” he explained. “It left me in bad shape. I had to teach myself how to walk and talk again. It’s been a long, hard fight. My speech is not perfect but I’m getting there.”

Frankly, it would have been better for him to stay home. I appreciate the fighting spirit, but he obviously does not need to be doing this. It was rather depressing to watch him slurring his speech, his arm apparently immobile. It was just NOT a good way to celebrate a New Year. Maybe some kind of little sit down interview another time would be ok, but not this.

Some folk have taken exception to my expression that getting shot was not the worst way that John Lennon could have gone. Dick Clark’s appearance- struggling valiantly- only re-confirmed my thought. John got shot, but he thankfully never had to face anything like this.

OK, Dick Clark had a stroke to account for his performance, but what was Mariah Carey’s excuse? This was a highly billed appearance by the biggest selling US artist of 2005, and Clark was trying to whoop up enthusiasm that this was a big first. I haven’t paid close attention to this event over the years, but this was supposedly the first time in all these shows that he’s had a live musical performance actually on Times Square- if I was understanding Clark’s speech right.

Except that it was really pushing the point to call this a “live” performance. After the big buildup and diva entrance, she’s there with a DJ and a handful of dancers. Unless I missed somethng, there were NO live musicians present for this historical live musical performance.

Basically, Mariah Carey was doing karaoke- and not especially good karaoke at that. The actual songs from this damned Mimi album are pretty bland and interchangeable to start with, and by the time she mashed the things together and sped it up a bit, there was just nothing left of them. The whole effect of this struck me as just surprisingly lame, even for Mariah Carey.

The whole NYC scene was so depressing that Hillary Duff was clearly a relief. Obviously this little teeny bopper isn’t a serious musician. For my part, her biggest artistic accomplishment to date has been inspiring a line in an Eminem song. But wherever exactly she was performing from when she came on after midnight, she was a significant improvement. Just that she was a healthy young woman with an actual band trying to make a real live musical performance put her ahead of the Times Square nonsense.

But if the physical decline of the world’s oldest living teenager wasn’t sad enough, Dick Clark’s production company has officially signed Ryan Seacrest to take over the reins when Dick’s no longer able to do it.

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  • http://journals.aol.com/vicl04/THESAVAGEQUIETSEPTEMBERSUN/ Victor Lana

    Al, I understand what you’re saying, but look at it from a different perspective. I watched it last night too with a tear or two in my eyes, but more because I was thinking of my Mom who had a stroke 2 years ago.

    You know what? Mr. Clark is an inspiration for my Mom and people like her (and their families). It has been a difficult recovery for her, but the likes of Dick Clark showing guts and determination sends a message to others like him:

    Let’s not focus on I can’t but I can !

  • gonzo marx

    ummmm…Duff was lip synching

    nuff said?

    Excelsior!

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Now, how do you know that Gonzo? Maybe I just wasn’t studying close enough, but I couldn’t tell it if Duff was lip synching.

  • gonzo marx

    well now Al…part of it comes from a trained ear, and a gung fu practitioners eye for body mechanics…

    one cannot sing out when one is breathing in

    also, when you move a microphone the sound level changes…it did not during here performance, yet there was variation in mic positioning

    the other performers during the evening were much better, an earlier girl singing group (i don’t remember their names) showed you CAN dance and sing at the same time, the pop-country band with the female singer, 3 doors down and 311 all did a fine job of it

    i had it on after the Giants game, just because it was Dick Clark…there is debate among some astrophysicists that when Clark does eventually shuffle off this mortal coil we will not have a New Years

    whether it will be due to some cosmic Law being broken, or the Apocolypse, is anyone’s guess

    Excelsior!

  • tom o’connor

    The biggest selling International artist of 2005 is Madonna. Carey is only selling well in America because her record company is paying radio stations to play her lame, puppy dog written songs. In any case, her performance was embarrassingly bad and she is wayyyy too fat and ugly. Those fake breasts need to go.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Tom, I’m obviously not a big fan of Mariah Carey, but she is the biggest selling artist fair and square. No amount of record company pr would FORCE people to put down their good money for her CD if they didn’t want to, and even getting a song played on the radio doesn’t mean anyone will BUY the thing.

    I might wonder about people’s TASTE, but Mariah has sold a lot of records over a long period of time. A lot of people really like her music.

    Also, come on with insulting her looks. That’s not very nice, for one thing, but it’s just not a reality thing. I’m not much on her songs, but you have to admit that she’s pretty cute.

  • http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com/ Eric Berlin

    I wanted to feel inspired by Clark’s gutsy performance (and man, it was gutsy) but I was left feeling depressed and non-celebratory as well. My step-father was incapacitated by a stroke and other complications over two years ago, and the ABC telecast reminded me of that, human mortality, etc.

    Perhaps not my own most glorious moment I’ve revealed here, but like my step-father would say, it was what it was.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    I for one would have intercourse with Mariah Carey if given the opportunity — and the greenlight from the missus.

    And only if she didn’t sing.

  • http://wisdomandmurder.blogspot.com Lisa McKay

    I have to agree, EB – I found it to be a rather depressing moment as well, and that’s without having a family member incapacitated by a stroke. Here was a man who, by most people’s standards, was growing old more gracefully than most, and the illusion of eternal boyishness has certainly been shattered in a big way.

  • http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com/ Eric Berlin

    Right, well said Lisa, that certainly was a factor for many, I’ll wager. I wouldn’t go so far as to say “he shouldn’t have done it” or anything (who the hell am I to say?). I also agree with Al that Seacrest helming the festivities for years to come is a gloomy proposition.

  • Bennett

    I agree with Al. This may have been “gutsy” to some, but as a broadcast event it rather sucked.

    Dick should have been professional enough to say “damn, I sound retarded” and passed the torch to a more capable announcer.

    Mariah Carey’s boobs were distracting, her singing was lame and lip synched.

    The corrals of folks in Times Square were even more depressing.

    [sigh]

    I shut down right after the balls dropped, and had a good night’s sleep.

  • http://counter-point.blogspot.com Scott

    Was it just me, or were Mariah’s thighs enormous?

  • Bennett

    Shreck’s Donkey – “I like big butts”

  • http://www.magicjunk.com/blog Mark Sahm

    Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart…

    Let us hope Ryan Seacrest looks like Keith Richards in a few years, and gets canned. His 15 minutes are a-ticking anyway.

    I was hoping, however, that Crestie would make a midnight kiss move on Mariah, but alas no dice.

  • Bliffle

    Apparently, Duff is better than Carey at lipsyncing.

    Perhaps Carey will step aside and make room for tyra Banks, who has large real breasts, though they are droopy.

  • http://leoniceno.journalspace.com Sam Jack

    If Duff was lip-synching, why did it need to sound so poor?

    -Sam

  • http://sterfish.blogspot.com/ Sterfish

    I didn’t think that Dick Clark appearing on the show was a bad thing…I thought that him hosting it for as long as he did was. It would’ve been nice if Dick appeared for a brief time so that we could all see that he’s recovering. However, seeing him attempt to do almost as much as he did in previous years was a bit depressing.

    More compelling than Mariah’s karaoke performance was what she was wearing outside. While the other performers (such as the memmbers of The Lox who performed the “We Belong Together” remix with her) and her dancers were wearing warm attire, she looked seriously underdressed. The thing that got me was that she stayed clad in only her little dress even when she wasn’t performing. It reminded me of that Atlanta Falcons coach who wore no hat or earmuffs on his head during that brutally cold game in Chicago against the Bears a few weeks back. What was she thinking?

  • http://journals.aol.com/vicl04/THESAVAGEQUIETSEPTEMBERSUN/ Victor Lana

    Matt,

    Just imagine the complications you would face as you, um, entertained Ms. Carey. By the way, you know how she hits that high note, right? She just might bust your eardrums before it’s all over.

  • imelda

    All of the above is the reason I was watching Blade Runner & having a nice glass of scotch.

    & I wish someone would tell Mariah that she is a tad too big for the kinderslut-wear. Every time I see her somewhere in a magazine, she looks like a pudgy whore. I thought all these people have stylists.

  • Jay Weiner

    It is well known that Mariah deeply discounted several of her singles so they could be number one. This started in the mid nineties. She is the biggest no talent whore I’ve ever seen. You
    Americans have no taste. Here in Europe, Mariah Carey is thankfully a “has-been.” I can’t wait for her to star in another bad movie and hope she can slit her wrists this time and kill herself.

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    SHORTER JAY: Happy happy New Year

    Thankfuly I’ve never had any kind of tradition with Mr. Clark

  • ihateoreilly

    Hi, Al…is there any performer your not bitter with, except for Prince (I like him too). I think you were being kind to Mariah. She is an embarrassment. Nobody can deny her success this year, but it’s not hard when you hire rent-a-rapper. Outside of the U.S., she has flopped miserably. Onto Dick Clark: that was very depressing. I grew up with him and remember watching Bandstand all the time. I feel he’s already dead. My family and I were really upset, but Whoria more than made up for it with her performance, which made us laugh. She looked cheaper than all the so-called “39 cent” number 1 hits she’s released.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    ihateoreilly, why would you think that I’m “bitter” with Mariah Carey- or any other performer. I don’t like her music much, and I will admit to being somewhat skeptical of the diva behavior, but I have no beef in my heart against her. My beef with her is professional.

  • Brie

    iheateoreilly,
    Al also loves Marvin Gaye… lol!

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Howdy Miss Brie. Glad to see you hanging out in my neighborhood.

    Of course I loves me some Marvin, but who doesn’t?

  • MC

    Scott: It wasn’t just you. Mariah’s thighs are the largest/fattest thighs I have seen on a person who weighs under 100 kg. Seriously! She has always had big thighs but it seems like they are getting bigger and bigger. They were probably 60 cm when she was skinnier, now they are over 70 cm. That is a fact.

  • http://www.mgmeall.com Michael (Mike) G. Meall

    Hi Dick, I just wanted to express my feelings for you as a fellow stroke victim. I suffered one in July of 2007 but because of a good, healthy mental attitude, such as yours, I’ve recovered remarkably. I went through Bryn Mawr Rehab snd then Doylestown Rehab. My only difficulty is a lacking of sense of feeling in my left arm, hand, leg and foot. But I keep trying to find a way to restore that. I just wanted to communicate to you the thought that our attitude means everything in our rehabilitation. Thanks for listening to me.

    Sincerely,

    Michael (Mike) G. Meall
    [Personal contact info deleted]