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Design a Movie Poster for Slave Wages

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I don’t want to come off as some paranoid talk show host or a Chris Eigeman character, but there’s a new form of outsourcing that is quite disturbing, my friends. No, I’m not talking about those customer service jobs in Bangladesh or that time I tricked those guys into a painting a fence for me. I’m speaking, of course, about movie poster design, particularly in the horror/action genre. It seems like every day as I’m scoping out the movie sites I see promos from the big studios to the effect of “Design my Resident Evil poster and get some free Jujubes!” or “Create our Silent Hill poster and get some chump change and a pat on the head!”

The latest contest (via Flick Addict) is for some movie called Stay Alive, where the concept is “You die in the game, you die for real.” It really doesn’t even seem so fictitious to me. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit that if I keep dying before I make it to the next level of 25 to Life, I’m gonna keel over from screaming and throwing my Sunny D at the television.

Anyhoo, design the poster for the flick, get a whopping 10 DVDs and a signed poster to boot. Yawn. Isn’t that what they pay graphic designers for? Soon it’ll be “Come up with the concept for our Rush Hour 3 movie, and win two free rentals from Blockbuster and as many Goobers as you can shove in your mouth in 60 seconds!”

What’s even more offensive than the fact that they’re taking away jobs from people in the movie industry, to be honest, is that they never, ever pick my designs. The people who judge these things are more picky than those The New Yorker bastards. Well, the Stay Alive people won’t be able to deny my creative genius on this one. Since I love you guys so much, I’ll let you have a sneak peek at my entry right here.

But please, tempting as it may be, don’t steal it and pass it off as your own. That just wouldn’t be right, and I’ve been doing mouth stretching exercises of late so I can cram the maximum amount of Goobers in my gob.

Drew has been known as “that movie scripts guy” for over a decade, and he’s been known as “the punk who really ought to update his blog more” for over two years now. And to his co-workers, he’s pretty sure he’s known as “that guy who takes too damn long making a decision in front of the snack machine.”

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