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Death of a Cat

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I had a cat die tonight, about an hour ago. We noticed it was sick and listless today, but after the vet had closed, unfortunately. We thought we would take it to the vet the first thing in the morning.

That didn’t work out. We kept him by the bed on an old pillow tonight. He’s normally an outside cat but it’s cold out in addition to the cat being sick. After hardly being able to move he suddenly started crashing around, trying to get out of his bed. His mouth was opening and closing and he made a moaning noise.

I took it to the kitchen to give him some water. I didn’t really know what to do for him or if he wanted water, but my wife suggested it and I had no other plan of action. He wouldn’t drink the water, I sort of stuck his mouth in the bowl, just enough to let him know it was there.

That didn’t work so I just laid him down and petted him. A brown liquid came out of his mouth. I held him with his head down so that the puke would run out and not choke him.

In retrospect I think that’s when he died. But at the time I didn’t think so.

There was no real sign of death. There was no “giving up the ghost” as old folks say. His mouth still opened and closed, the jaw muscles working, but he got colder and stiffer. There were even twitching muscles around his mouth long after he was stiff.

It just strikes me that there was no sign at all. You expect something, you know? A soul rising into the air would be good. That’s the sort of thing the religious and the spiritual expect. Being one of them I always want to believe there is a soul, or something.

Even the non-religious scientific establishment seems to think there is a sign. No pulse, a cessation of breathing, a beeping monitor, a wave pattern on a monitor becoming a flat line. But there was none of that. Every death I’ve ever seen I could never be sure they were dead. It was harder with a cat, I couldn’t take a pulse because I don’t know cat physiology. His breathing had been faint before so I couldn’t check that. Long after I was 90% sure he was dead I held him up to my ear and was sure I heard a heartbeat. He was stiff, but still twitched and something was making noise. But then I heard gurgling of intestines….it was probably just something settling around inside him.

Since I wasn’t sure he was dead, not 100 percent, and it’s dark out, I laid him on the pillow he died on, placed him in the bathtub and there he sits. Very stiff now. But I just couldn’t bring myself to dispose of him until I was absolutely sure he was dead.

And there is just no way of knowing that. What seperates the living from the dead, really? Movement? A soul? A set of biological patterns that mean nothing but we file under the name of “life”?

There has to be something that separates the quick and the dead, doesn’t there?

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About H. Wayne Nix

  • Eric Olsen

    Wow, H Wayne, another side of you – very thoughtful and moving. We’ve had two cats die in last couple of years – I am also fascinated in the transformation from beloved (more or less, anyway) pet, to gross dead thing. Thanks!

  • Eric Olsen

    Oh, and I’m sorry about your cat.

  • Wow. I’m so sorry. We had a very similar thing happen with an old cat of ours last year. The listlessness. . . she could barely move–all of a sudden, in a day, when the day before she had been mobile. So of course we knew something was wrong. We put her on a pillow on the bed, put some food and water near her. Finally, we decided we’d better go to the vet. I mean, the cat wasn’t howling or anything, but she was clearly not right. We hadn’t even backed out of the driveway when she convulsed and died. But like you, we waited a few hours–just to be sure. And it *was* disappointing, in a way, that there wasn’t a more evident sign of the passing. Shouldn’t we have felt the moment? Known for sure in our hearts somehow? But we didn’t. But she wasn’t moving or breathing anymore, so we wrapped her in her favorite quilt and buried her.

  • Tom

    I am welling up with tears. My kitty is sitting on my lap right now.

    It would make me sad to lose either one of them.

  • Oh! What a beauty Boots is! We have a Maine Coon as well, aptly named Loki. He was a runt that nobody wanted, and I’m thankful every day that we took him in. He can be a real terror (although he doesn’t mean to be), and I think anybody with less patience would have been cruel to him. Thinking of that, or of losing him or any or our other cats, is just heartbreaking.

  • Nikki

    I am so sorry about your cat. I had a cat die tonight and it has been very upsetting for me. He was only 2 1/2 years old. My husband and I went out and came home a few hours later and he was gone, totally stiff and no movement or anything. We still don’t know how it happened there were no signs at all one minute he was fine and the next he was gone. I can’t get the picture out of my mind of finding him on the floor that way.

  • I can understand the frustration at the lack of closure, but I think the alternative is much worse.

    I had my cat put down the other night, and the experience was quite distressing. You can read about it here.

  • RJ

    I have two cats whom I love very much. And one even loves me back! I’m batting .500! 😉

    I know it’s been a while since the original post, but I am sorry for your loss.

    Pets are more than just “animals.” Hell, WE are “animals”!

    Pets are members of the family. They are loved and cared for. When they pass, it is a time for mourning.

    I’ve lost a few in my time. Once to the idiocy of a vet. Another due to a brown-recluse spider bite. A couple to old age. Once to feline leukemia.

    It’s always hard.

    I am pretty sure one of my cats has cancer right now (the one that actually likes me and sleep on my bed with some prodding). I suspect we will lose her someday in the relatively near future. I can already feel the loss a bit. It is sure to be much more painful when it actually occurs.

    All dogs go to heaven, it is said. What of cats? Surely these benevolent creatures deserve a place in heaven, on our laps, purring away and dreaming sweet dreams of mice and lizards, for all time…


  • JY


    My cat, Mao Mao, died two days ago on 22 August 2005. She was 15 years of age. She was with me for 13 years. Today at 3pm she will be cremated and she will be gone forever.

    I don’t know the exact reason of death. I am too sad to talk to the vet now. She had a tumor operation six months ago. I found another bigger tumor two days before her death. In a panic, I quickly sent her to the vet the next day. She hated to visit the vet. She is a very timid cat. I told her to give me just two days, and she will be alright again. I left her in their care and hopefully it will be fine the next day after another operation. She never made it to the operation room at all. She collapse with tougue turned blue. Vet said that her lungs was filled with fluid, a sign of heart problem and they put her on oxygen tank. She knew our presence and tried very hard to purr when we visited her with the oxygen attachment. She passed away. I was hopeful that she will return to our home with me. I really regretted to send her to the vet, maybe, if she really had to go, she would have leave from her home and with us around.

    Sorry Mao Mao, I miss you very much.

  • Colleen

    My cat Einstein is dying. This morning he threw up water. Water. My heart sank- “That can’t be a good sign.” I said to myself, trying to find the humor. He’s been in slow decline for months, first his kidneys started to fail, I knew this because he started drinking huge amounts of water and peeing constantly. I started cleaning his catbox twice a day. “Maybe thats it, maybe he can last a while” I told myself, even though I knew it was a lie. Then he stopped eating canned food, he would just lick up all the gravy, he stopped that too. Last night and this morning I was scrambling around the kitchen opening tuna cans, shredding up pieces of turkey lunchmeat, numerous cans of cat food, I had paper plates scattered across the kitchen floor, in the hope that he would want something, anything, EAT DAMN IT! He wasn’t havin’it. He just sat there, looking up at me, like I had all the answers. Its heartbreaking, I didn’t think it would be. I joked about this last month, “I’m looking forward to no more cat hair” This cat has been the only constant in my life for 15 years. 3 breakups, 6 or 7 apartments, 3 jobs, he was always there, on my lap, purring, drooling, biting, hissing- besides my parents this cat is the only unconditional love I have ever known, how pathetic I feel. I didn’t think I would take it this hard but this morning after he wouldn’t eat, I called my Mom and cried my eyes out. So tomorrow I get to take him to the vet and end his life. I don’t really believe in God, I don’t believe animals have souls – Im not sure about us either, so I don’t expect it to be pretty, I was a biology major so I don’t expect to see a soul rising, I know the fluids and muscles take a while to settle. These are the ugly parts of life, the worst part of life, the nasty, bitter, ugly end, which will offer no solace- just more unanswered questions. I’m a secular humanist, I believe everything thats living deserves dignity and respect. I think I owe him. This is something I can do for him to offer him some comfort, some peace, so now I get to be his Dr. Kevorkian. I hope he knows how much I valued his love and his friendship. I will miss you Einie.

  • Eric Olsen

    very sorry Colleen – my parent’s cat is getting very old and lethargic. I fear he doesn’t have much time left

  • Jalexa

    One of my animals died today. I am not sure of when. A persian I named buddy. I had him since 2002. He was a animal shelter cat and looked like he had a botched neuter job.
    When I witness death I always see the spirit leave. There is no stillness like the body that life has left. Life is the spirit. Life leaves the body and combines with the life that is on the earth. Electrical in nature perhaps.
    The great mystery for humans and other animals. Humans know that they do not know.
    There has been so much death recently with the natural disasters. Life is fluid as time. T i m e……………

  • KYS

    I am SO SORRY about your loss. From my many years working for a vet, I can tell you that cats don’t let go easily. They fight for every last breath. Lucky is the feline who dies at home, with those that love him/her. Domestic cats, who still are quite feral according to their lineage, don’t show their illness until it’s almost too late. Your pet was so lucky to have you to take care of him.

  • To: KYS
    Thanks for the words of consolation.
    Do you think all living things go to a better place when they die?


  • Nancy

    Jalex, I’m certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that where ever we go, our pets go. Any creature capable of love, loyalty, forgiveness, etc. (and animals are far more capable of these than humans seem to be) surely has a soul, regardless of its capacity for intellectual reasoning. I have 5 kitties. They sleep with me, “play” for me when I want to be amused, lie on my book or papers so I can’t work when I don’t want to be amused but they do, demand my attention, give me attention, meet me at the door at night & follow me to the door in the morning begging me not to go, just like 2-yr-olds. They come when I call, and if I don’t give sufficient & sufficiently equal shares of affection & attention, they show definitely that their feelings are hurt. I do not anthropomorphize. I do communicate with them, & they can make their wants known pretty well. Maybe they use The Force. Whatever, I cannot believe that they are any less qualified & worthy of some sort of afterlife than I or any other person, since they are people too. Just furrier, less capricious, and more loyal, non-judgemental, & affectionate.

  • My cat, Hoover, also died this morning. He was a 24 year old
    yellow tabby and well pampered. He had been declining over the past couple of months. He was a real tough kitty and as hard as he fought, he couldn’t overcome his age. His last meal was a can of
    tuna — that he consumed with the gusto of a hound dog. He didn’t eat for 2 days after that and silently passed on. He was a special buddy that lived with me for half of my life and I’ll miss him.

  • Nancy

    I’m very sorry for you, Ron. 24 years-! I hope my girls live that long & die as easily. Meanwhile, see if you can find it in your heart to save another kitty & give them a good life, too. You’ll feel better with someone to come home to, & care for; and you’re not replacing Hoover – that isn’t possible. Nothing is as lonely as a catless house.

  • Sue

    My cat Zevon is 16 years old and is dying. I think this is his last night. Has been fading for awhile now but has really gone downhill the last few days, won’t eat and hardly drink. He’s so skinny and frail it’s just heartbreaking. He’s showing no signs of real pain, which I am thankful for, so I will just let him die peacefully at home. We had him since he was a kitten abandoned at the garbage dump. Reading everyone’s comments has helped, I’m sorry for all your losses. I have Zevon’s pictures on my webpage if anyone would care to look.

  • Sue
  • B

    My cat died last night……reading this helped….thank you guys

  • My 16 year old cat Peachy died two nights ago, Wednesday, December 28. The vet found lumps throughout her liver about 7 months, but other than weight loss, she never really showed symptoms of sickness until about one week ago. She was vomiting frquently and then she vomited water in my bed on Christmas eve. She ate less, but on her last night, she ate some baby food, Gerber Veal without onions. She also drank a lot of water that night. She vomited it all up after about a half hour of holding it down. She got up and was able to walk to the litter box, but was very wobbly. She tried to poop but just sat in the box. I made a bed for her in a box with a lot of cushioning around the sides so she could sit up, she seemed to prefer this position. I pet her and stroked her and she seemed to respond. At about 12:30 AM she woke me with her crying. I found her stretched out beside the box. She was able to get out but simply collapsed. I stroked her, talked to her, and cleaned her up when she pooped and peed in the box. I told her how much I loved her and that she shouldn’t be afraid of what was coming. At some point between 12:30 and 2:00 AM, she lost consciousness. Her eyes were open but she didn’t respond. At about 2:00 AM she went into the final phase of death. She took some breaths. Her front legs stretched out. Her mouth opened. She finally relaxed and stopped breathing but I think her little heart kept beating. I know she was conscious and aware of me at 12:30, but she was definitely brain dead or in a coma long before her body finally quit.
    It was horrible to watch this happen but I really could not let her die before she was really weak in the Vet’s office. I just did not want her to suffer on the trip to the Vet’s and then in the office. I know how she hated it.
    It really happened fast. She was aware and fighting for life until close to the end.
    I will miss her and cherish her forever.

  • Donna

    My cat Storch passed away around 10:45pm on December 30th. She was a small, but tough little tortoise-shell cat that I adopted at the Santa Barbara animal shelter when I was 19. Now i’m 33, so she’s been with me half my life. She had hyperthyroidism which she took pills for, but when it got to bad I took her in to get the radioactive iodine-131 treatment to zap the tumor. The vet screened for other diseases and found lung cancer and said even if he cured the hyperthyroid the cancer would still be there. With her ravenous appetite I continued feeding her a buffet of food,
    but since her metabolism was so fast, the weight would not stay on. Her final month she cruised around the neighborhood visiting my parent’s house and my boyfriend’s because we all live on the same street. She made it through Christmas, but got increasingly finicky with food. The last few days my vet friend did acupuncture on her and gave her some herbal medicines. This was my final effort to save her life, but she just got skinnier and weaker and wouldn’t even drink her favorite…MILK! I was tempted to put her to sleep , but she was not in pain and I believe she would have wanted to fight to the end which she did.
    She was on my bed and I continued petting her and talking to her. Finally, I placed her in her fluffy, oval cat bed and couldn’t she if she was breathing or not. She went to see “the big cat in the sky” New Year’s Eve (day) my boyfriend and I buried her in his backyard by the house in her bed. I cut off a piece of my blonde hair and laid it next to her heart and I cut off a small piece of hair from her tail and kept it for myself so we could stay connected. My boyfriend held me as I lowered her 4 feet down. She still looked peaceful curled up in the bed like she was just sleeping, only with her yellow/green eyes opened. Then I laid a cat-size american flag over her honored body and said my goodbyes and told her I’d see her again in the future.
    Storch will be remembered forever! She gave me strength, happiness, love, laughter, patience and joy. GOD BLESS STORCH!

  • Linda

    My beloved cat, Sammie died on Dec 30. He was attacked by some dogs and I rushed him to the vet. He didn’t have any serious wounds and the vet put him on oxygen and an IV. He was doing good the next day and came home…but he took a turn for the worst and died the next night. He must have had serious internal injuries. I’m heartbroken…and it was a tough 2005…My Mom battled cancer and Hurricane Rita devastated our area. We could not take all our pets with us when we evacuated, so we took our house pet Schnauzer. It was such a relief when I learned that our cats survived the storm….and now this happens. Sammie was only 6 years old. He was so precious…and such a gentleman. He would let the two female cats eat first before he ate and acted like a momma cat to a kitten. He was so laid back. Animal control found the owner of the dogs that attacked him but they have not responded.
    Sammie was solid black with an extra toe on each foot.

  • Tabitha

    It became obvious to me yesterday that my 20-year-old cat, Teagan, would probably not live through the night. In November she stopped bathing herself & had started to become matted. She was an old gal so we did not force the issue with her. Over the last month her weight dropped from 8 pounds down to 5. She has seemed fine enough, eating, purring, asking for attention, etc. But yesterday, I cam home to find she had no control over the lower portion of her body. I held her off & on, petted her & allowed her to rest in her favorite spot. She could not be interested in water, food or a litter box. I imagine her kidneys had already shut down at that point. This morning she could not move her upper body. She did not appear to be in pain so my husband and I decided to let her die at home peacefully. I took the day off from work so I could hold her as she died. Around noon her leg gave a couple twitches & she exhaled strongly, then nothing for a few second & she repeated the leg twitch 2 more times & the exhale & it was over. I have gained comfort from reading everyone’s posts this morning. She is gone.

  • Rhonda Kattass

    Hi there.

    My cat Amadeus lost his battle with Hyperthyroidism, and I believe another
    hidden disease, possibly cancer but I
    never wanted to honestly know about
    that. I treated him for the hyperthyroid
    ism but he never regained his weight and
    stayed thin and frail for over a year. He Died on 3/26/06 at 1 a.m. in in the morning when I
    took him to an emergency vet to help
    ease his pain and allow him to go into the next life. This past week Ami (his nick name Ah-mee) began
    to cough and not just a hairball cough
    from time to time. I know it was not right.
    but after I kept the house nice and toasty he
    was okay. So, I thought nothing of it. He
    still was frisky and played with his sister
    but come Thursday morning. He was acting very
    slow, old, and could not lower his head to drink
    water out of the faucet (which he LOVED running
    water). Sometime maybe even Wednesday, he had stopped eating so much and had tried somehome treatments Thursday and Friday. By the evening of Saturday, March 25th, Ami had moaned several times and cried out once or twice and he had all but stopped walking. So I held him in my arms in a towel and held him close. I had been trying to rehydrate him with electrolytes from the diarrhea and vomiting. The diarrhea only got better once when he was first diganosed with the hyperthyroidism afterward it had become a daily thing and also, I was told the next thing I would have to do is geta colonoscopy done on him to determine if he had cancer or if it was IBS but I recently read that in older cats like him the IBS can later turn into a form of cancer. In the end he was precardia, rapid shallow breathing, with blood in his diarrhea. He was okay until Thursday morning…but my efforts to have him bounce back were nil. I had already made my decision…that I knew he was dieing and if he did not bounce back after the weekend that I would take him to the vet and put him to sleep. I hated thinking about that but I did not have to wait for the weekend. Amadeus started having serious problems by 9pm on Saturday evening and by 10:45 he was in very serious condition. After the last time he cried out, I grabbed him and called a friend.
    His end was becoming painful for him and I was not going to lay back and allow it to last long. My friend came over and we drove Ami to the vet. You could tell he was a little scared but did not fight me. I held him in a towel like a baby in my arms. Before I could get out of the car at the hospital, My friend jumped out of the car and opened the door and took pictures of me and Ami for our last time together. Later in the exam room, my friend cut his hair for me for a keepsake. When we went inside the vet tech took ami back to see what the doctor thought. I was told there was no guarantee if they were to TRY to save him that it would be a long hard road for ami and he would need to be immediately put under an oxygen tent. His little body was giving out and there is just a time when enough is enough. Sometimes, I think I waited too long. I went through all the thoughts. Did I do enough for him…was I lazy sometimes in his meds, but really my cat lived a very long life and enjoyed his good years. he was very laid back and happy and nothing phased him. He was very unique. So, I wanted him to be happy and not in pain. I decided to send him home to God. For the first time though, I was with my cat when the final stage of his life happened. Euthenizing…they give the cat a mild sedative to help him relax and take him out of pain while you have your last words, strokes, etc…with him or her. Then when its time, you tell them and the vet comes in and he explains to you what will happen. The process of putting the cat to sleep is very quick and painless. It took me two hours to let him go after I made the decision but when it was time… The doctor came in and was very, very sweet. I layed my hand on Ami and prayed for him while the injection started in him that put him to sleep. His head slowly tilted to the side and then the doctor injectd him with a second drug I believe that stopped the heart. In a matter of 5 seconds or less, my cat was gone. When I finished the lord’s prayer over him, the doctor said. Rhonda.. he’s gone. You know I thought I could never do that and maybe some people cant but I told my cat that I would never, never leave him. That when it came to his last breath that I would be there with him. I will be honest with you. its been only couple days and I still wonder “What If?” I have a 2nd cat that is here with me….she is Ami’s partner of 4 years. She misses him some but sorta likes the house to herself too. When my fiancee comes back state side in the summer, we plan to choose a new baby cat to give sweet pea a partner. I work at the animal shelter in town as a volunteer and help sick cats with URI all the time. But, it is so different when its your pet. Its hard but its getting better. And my cat was suffering, and more and more I feel that I made the right decision to help ease his pain. It’s just hard when you get in a routine every morning and evening with your cats…. cuz, I caught myself doing that this morning and I teared up when Ami was not waiting for me when I came hom from work today..
    I feel your pain to all the cat lovers out there on this blog that have lost their pets recent and in the past. It cuts very deep too when the pet has been with you a long time. For Ami it was 14 years and 7 months. I plan to make a scrap book of his pics and all the well wishes from friends and family. I am waiting now to get the call from the Emergency clinic to go pick up his ashes. I want to keep him with me than buried somewhere in a ground. I live in an Apartment and I always regretted not being able to have a place where I could go visit my last cat. I also regretted I could not be there with my last cat either. The doctor and this was a couple months before Ami was born told me at that time that she didn’t think I would want to be there with my cat when they put her down. I had my cat buried in a pet cemetery somewhere …where the graves were unmarked, etc. I really regret all those decisions about my first cat Sebastian. Now, I’m glad cremation is offered so I can have his ashes with me and I can place them with his toys in a heart shaped box because he was a very important part of my life. He has seen me through 3 boyfriends, multi-state relocations, a few jobs do to relocation. One thing I can say is if you have an older cat and he can tolerate another cat, go for a young cat. I am so happy that I had sweet pea here with him in the last 4 years of his life. He enjoyed her after he got over the initial meet and greet.

    Enjoy every second…as far as soul… I believe my cat had a soul and with the way he passed. It was peaceful and I could see him go. The brain does not quite die as immediate as the heart. The brain starves for oxygen but at this time your pet is gone…and does not feel anything. He will gasp one or two times for air but he will not be in pain when this happens because he is clinically gone at this time. Also, the gurgling of the intestines that one poster talked about. All living things including us when we die will release their bowels at the time of death. This did happen a little to Ami. He released his bladder about 3 hours before we put him down and after he went
    he did release his intestines. That did not gross me out and neither did the other reactions gross me out because I knew at that point Ami was called hom to God and I was petting a shell that once held his soul. GodSpeed to all our little kitties. I fully believe that they will be waiting on the otherside for us. I feel comfort in that.

  • lisa

    We lost our Pongo this monday early morning, we got him to the vet but she just treated him for a UTI and some tapeworms, as the days passed on he was getting worse, we thought maybe it was the meds or something he ate, he slowly stopped eating and then all together he didn’t and stopped drinking, he went moving to different places and hiding, finally he got really disorientated and laid down and wouldn’t get up much, then he couldn’t get up period, we called the vet and they weren’t too worried about it and asked if i was giving him his meds, of course!!!!
    He just became soo dehydrated and we tried our best to get water into him, but w/all attempts that sunday night i told pongo i would see him in the morning to get him to the vet, well that time never came, he passed away early morning while he was with my exbf..we held him and he didn’t fight or even kept his eyes opened much..we layed him on the towel on the couch and kept an eye on him, then he put him down on the floor and I tried to pick him up he growled and howled and i gently put him back down and talked to him and petted him before i went home..he called me at 7am, saying pongo passed away, and I cried and screamed so much, I made a tribute and memorial for Pongo and we will have a memorial service for him…He was our babyboy..such a sweet cat.. being he was only 3 and a half years old he died young..and It hurts much..Prayers to everyone…

  • sr

    Wayne, wish I had an uplifting comment for you. Im sure with all the comments directed your way that new friendships are being established for you and just maybe this is how things should be. People are great or can be when the heart is touched. Take great pleasure with all your new found friends and give back when they’re in your position. An to think this all came about from just one cat. What a world. P.S. Dont misjudge me Wayne, Im not a nice person. Take care.

  • M

    I was searching for information to help me determine how long my beloved Milos had been gone. I woke up yesterday to discover she had passed away during the night. Unexpected.

    At first I hesitated to read this page, that it would make me sadder, but I read it and it really helped. Thank you.

    My Milos passed without warning — absolutely no sign of anything wrong. She greeted me at the door the night before and we played, I brushed her and massaged her as I did each night, and we went to bed. Each morning she would sit on a chair next to the bed waiting for me to get up — then get all excited when I did and she’d jump in the bed. My favorite time was when I woke up before the alarm and she’d be off prowling around and when she heard me move come flying into the room like, “Wait! I’m supposed to wake you up! Let’s play!” There were mornings I’d wake up and she would be asleep on the chair – so cute, then she’d wake up and see that I was already up and get all excited… Yesterday I saw her lying in the chair, eyes closed, and within a moment my worst fear realized–she wasn’t breathing. No sign of trauma; no sign of poison or any other unnatural cause. Just gone, and completely stiff. I just don’t know what happened. All I know is she was 9 years old, and I hope she was very happy for all her days. I just hope she wasn’t in pain. And oh how I hope she didn’t cry out and I simply slept while she was calling for me — it looks like she died while sleeping–very peaceful, but I just don’t know. Your writings have helped me realize perhaps she simply died peacefully at home.

  • Jackie

    My cat died just a couple of hours ago. He was acting normal all day, he’s an indoor cat, no signs of eating anything or getting anything he’s not suppose to. We took very good care of him, he eats only cat food, water and some milk, no table food. Gets plenty of attention. He’s up to date on shots. We were watching a move and he went to go eat a tummy full. He comes into the living room grooms himself, I scratch the couch to tease him to charge at my hand, and he did. About 15 minutes later he starts vomiting his food, then has a bowel movement and does both for 10 minutes, while I realize something doesn’t seem right if he’s not going potty in his litter. His tougue starts hanging out a little and eyes look glassy. This goes on for the 10 minutes, then I start looking for a clinic to take him to, another 10 minutes pass at the most. Then I check on him and he start vomiting blood and I’m starting to freak out but trying to think and get him to the car to go. I arrive 15 minutes later and then another 30-45 minutes pass and the vet doc says, he appears to be in bad condition and is dying. (He’s had an I.V. tube all that time too). I looked in on him and he’s vomiting blood again and getting excited but weak, believe me it was a little worse than I’m telling, he kept skirming too and the blood kept comming. I couldn’t handle seeing him suffer, I then told them to please put him to sleep, he’s suffering so much. They couldn’t tell what was wrong other than something is going wrong on the inside. The doc said his lungs were filling with blood. Can someone please give me some insight. I am confused, upset, angry. Not sure if I made the right call or not. My husband and I didn’t have more money to pay for a $2,000(if it got up to this amount) procedures such as x-ray and transfering him to another hospital and etc. I’m very upset that it all happened so fast it would make your head spin. We have a 14 month old and “Bobtail” our cat, help our baby learn to “meow” about 6 months ago. It was a male cat and he was like a brother to the baby and he was so good to the baby, even if once in a while the baby pulled his fur and the baby would wrestle wtih him a little and they both would paw at eachother. The baby would giggle at Bobtail and it was just so cute.

    Thank in advance for any input,

  • Lani

    I’m so glad I found this site it has made this day easier to deal with. We lost our beloved cat Kelsey today. So much loss since the first of this year, first grandma and now my best friend. He was a cream-colored long haired male manx with attitude. For the last few months he has lost weight and so we thought it was his food. Then we tried different food, soft, small etc. Nothing seemed to work. Like some of the others on this website he was drinking massive amounts of water and we would constantly find him in the bath tub. He has always been a chunky boy (22lbs) but today when we took him to the vet he weighed only 10.9. The doc said that we could run a barrage of tests but it may only prolong his life for a few months. As the days have been going by we saw him deteriorate more and more to where today I just couldn’t handle watching it any longer. We decided to euthanize him so he wouldn’t suffer any longer. The hardest part was holding him in my arms on the way to the clinic and he always hated going to the vets. But he didn’t struggle he just laid in my arms looking up in my eyes as of to say “Mommy, I’m so tired, please help me.” It had to be one of the longest drives and hardest things I have ever had to do. I’ve never had a cat for this long. I have had him since 1993 when he was just a little hairball. We have shared many memories and a few relationships(some good some not)but he was the one good thing that stayed constant in my life. When I started a relationship with my friend and now my husband, Dan fell in love with my boy. He told me today the reason he became so close to him was that he “had attitude” and was the ultimate Alpha. I will truly miss my boy, my study partner, my best friend and one of the true joys in my life. Now I will have to comfort my little girl (calico-short hair)whom he took care of since she was a small kitten who’d been taken away from her mommy too young and he stepped right in and took over. He had massive paws and when she needed a bath he would just set one of those paws on her and clean her up just like a momma. I know she will wander the house calling for him and she will grieve too. So here is to my beautiful baby boy…..I will truly miss you and you will forever be in my heart.

  • Lani

    I wanted to give condolences to all that have written about your pets and especially to the author who started this blog. I can really relate to “M” and “Jackie” who just like myself recently lost their pets. I wish I had answers to the questions of WHY things like this happen, why is it so painful like being kicked in the stomach or did I do the right thing or is there anything I should’ve done or could’ve of done differently. Then I realized that if my kitty could communicate to me right in this moment that he would comfort and somehow tell me in his unique cat way, that I didn’t know that this was going to happen, I couldn’t predict his future, I gave him a good and loving home, he loved me unconditionally, and God just has a plan. I’m not a “religious” person but I do believe that my kitty is in a good place with no pain or suffering and someday I will be with him again on the other side. So I hope these few words will give you comfort.

  • Jackie

    To Lani,

    Thank you for the comfort and kind words. I was telling my 5 year old the same, that Bobtail has no more pain and trauma, that a higher power is taking care of of him now. I’m not real religious either, but must realize and believe something. Also thinking of the ways the cat made us laugh and helped our baby develop. Not only did Bobtail help the baby learn to make a meow sound but helped him crawl a little, something to chase after that looked so interesting to touch. It can be nerve racking to ask “why” and I’ve asked other vetrnarian’s for some advice and finally just come to realization that I won’t really know but like you said, we treated him with love and like a king. Those situations that happen unexpectedly and suddenly can be overwhelming. I’ve not dealt with trauma ever, I took it hard. It happened at 11:30pm Saturday night, I didn’t get much sleep then and Sunday but finally got some sleep last night. I feel better now. Especially because we did barry him on Sunday. I had to keep Bobtail in the house until I could barry him the next morning after he passed away. I will get another cat in the next few months, so the my 5 yr old and the baby can have another little friend to play with but will still miss our bobtail. Thanks again!

  • LILY


  • Tara

    My cat of 11 years died this weekend and I’m not sure why. I was looking on this site for similar stories, but can not find anything exactly alike. I am hoping someone can suggest what was wrong with her and make me feel better for not taking her to the vet a couple months ago. I am inconsolable even though my husband keeps telling me we did everthing we could and that she had a very happy life. I feel like I lost my baby.
    She had showed very few symptoms recently. She had only gotten a little more fragile in the past year, gradually, and I thought it was just because she was getting older. In the past couple months I noticed that sometimes she would breath heavily, but she didn’t seem to be in pain and she maintained all her normal activities. I read that if heavy breathing occurs while purring, it’s normal. So I didn’t take her to the vet. In the past month her appetite decreased alot, but she was still eating some every day and seemed happy and normal in all other ways. She didn’t have any urinary problems like I would have expected if it was liver or kidney failure. Saturday after a nice day of napping, sitting on my lap, and the normal things, she suddenly was trying to vomit and couldn’t get much out. She was foaming at the mouth. She was ok for 10 minutes and then just started to kind of drool like she couldn’ t process the water she just drank. She was obviously in pain, breathing really hard and shallowly, and meowing frantically. We tried to rush her to the emergency clinic and she died on the way.
    I know she didn’t eat anything wierd or choke in those few minutes before she got sick. Does anyone know what this sounds like? i though maybe it was tumor or something, and I am torn up by guilt thinking they could have done something a couple months ago. I don’t think i will ever forgive myself if this is true. I’m devastated. Any comments would really help me. thank you.

  • Gills

    Hey i totally understand what you are feeling, my cat also recently passed away, just at the weekend. She was totally healthy at 10 years old, on the friday she was running about the garden and playing with me, i left to go see my boyfriend and gave her a kiss telling her i would see her on monday, my parents came home from work that nite and she was sleeping the way she loved to on warm evenings, she got up to get fed and my mum fed her, she went out side and never came back!
    we found her lying dead in the garage, spread out on a blanket. My heart is broken and i keep going over in my head what could have killed her. She was fine one minute then dead the next, i think it was a heart attack or some sort of heart failure.
    However we have got to be thankful that our cats didnt suffer for months on end and lived happy lives and were well loved. Your cat may have jus taken heart failure, and isnt it nice to think it didnt die alone in a strange place!i know you will miss her dearly and i know i will miss my cat forever and i will never stop loving her…

  • I own a 10 year old cat called Simba. He is absolutley adorable and i love him soo much ive had him since i was 6 years old. For 3 days hes not been enjoying his food and today we went and took him to the vet. She said that she thought she could feel a tumor under his throat by his jaw. Im feeling sick right now and we are taking him to the vets tomorrow morning, few days ago he was up and runnung now his struggling and timid. Please dont die Simba i love you so much.

  • Annemarie

    Hi. It has helped reading everyone’s comments. I don’t feel so alone. My eighteen year old cat Jude died two days ago. She was my buddy. I feel like I let her down. She had been looking pretty bad the past six months and I brought her to the vet. They told me it was the thyroid and perscribed medication in a “treat” form. I asked for the liquid, because I knew my cat wouldn’t eat the treat. But they made me attempt to use the treat first. I should have said no. That was a month ago and she wouldn’t eat it even though I cut it up and put it in her food. I called two days ago and requested the other med. I was supposed to pick it up when I found her laying down on the basement floor. I think she had just died. My heart was broken. I’ve been through so much with that cat by my side. It makes me feel terrible that I didn’t do something sooner. And now it’s too late.

  • JeannieMarie

    I’m glad that I found this page. I can totally sympathize with everyone on here who as lost an animal. Some people can’t understand how much it hurts. The loss, the anger, the guilt that maybe there was something you could have done.

    I had just gotten a Bengal in mid-March of this year. He was born January 31st, 2006. I named him Hiruko, and he quickly became my baby and the light of my life. I’m 30 years old and married. I don’t have any kids, and I have never really wanted any. My own mother said that I went on and on about Hiruko just like most people do with their children. This little cat had ALOT of spunk. He would always jump in the shower with me, get in the sink when I was brushing my teeth, and he would constantly grab any roll of toilet paper he could find and shred it ALL OVER the place. He was very special to me.

    I still can’t really make any sense of what happened….
    My husband and I were sitting in the floor by our coffee table on a July 11th, a Tuesday evening. Hiruko was sitting between us, because he just liked to always be near us. My coffee table is made from black metal and has a tiled top. Underneath, about 6 inches from the floor, it has a shelf made of several parallel bars that go across with about 2 inches between them.
    Well, Hiruko got up and walked around to the other side, and for some reason, he just leaped towards us over the bottom of the coffee table. He landed in the middle, and he made a noise. He was laying on top of the bars, maybe in between them a little. I thought he broke his leg. I grabbed him off of there, and his back legs twitched a couple of times. I laid him down on the floor, and he wasn’t breathing. He died right there. Just like that. In 5 seconds. I tried to give him mouth to mouth (snout, whatever), but even then I knew it wouldn’t work.
    It did NOT seem real. How could it be? My cat jumps over my coffee table (which he had done many times before), and dies? What the hell?

    I still can’t believe it happened. He never had a chance. He was only 5 months old. I guess he just landed wrong and broke his neck. His death was instantaneous. I cried so hard that night. Me and my husband. We went and buried him about a half hour after it happened. In his box, I put his stuffed bunny and his favorite ball and a roll of toilet paper I had found shredded just that day. When we got back home, my husband put all of his things away so I wouldn’t see them. I just coudn’t deal with it.

    Even now, every time I take a shower, I think of him, and how he would squinch his eyes shut and “bite” at the water in the air. He would always get soaking wet. Every single thing reminds me of him, because there was nothing that wasn’t shared with him. I think there has been 1 whole day I haven’t cried at some point.

    I wonder if maybe I twitched my toes under the table and he had jumped to pounce on them. I wonder if I hadn’t have moved him if he would have died. I mean, I know he would have, but I feel all the guilt and remorse like I did something wrong. I know it was a freak accident, but still. I loved him so much. I still love him. I’m getting one of his siblings (from a different litter–same parents), because I want to have something that has parts of him in it. I feel guilty about that, as if he would think I was trying to replace him. I don’t. I’m not looking for something to replace my love, I just need a place to place my love. I know his brother will not be him, and I never want to forget him. He was very special.

    Just like everyone who has written about losing their pet. My heart goes out to you, it really does. I never really understood what loss was. I’ve never had a close family member or friend die. But I know it now. As do all of you. Thank you for writing your stories and for reading this one.

  • lisa

    I am very devistated. My cat passed away on Sunday 8/20. Her name was Lola,very healthy, No signs of any problems. She was only 1 1/2 years old. She was my baby. I loved her very much and I feel that my heart has fallen all to peaces.
    I had just came home and was starting to fix dinner and I heard this horrible gasping noise, I ran over to see what is was and it was my little girl, I touched her and she was very limber, she gasped one more time and then she was gone, It was fast! I am just so hurt and would love answers.
    I called the vet they said she may have had cardiomyapothy a heart condition that would not have showed any sings. They couldn’t be 100% sure without doing a autopsy. I just would love to know if this has happened to someone elses baby, because i just can’t rest. I miss her so much and feel like a bi g part of me is missing.

  • SadGeek

    I lost a 8 yr old pal named Sunnee last week. I am still so sad now. I miss all my little friends who should be here now.

    For Lisa, I had the same thing happen to me with a little 1 year old kitty named Melody. She was beautiful. One time she jumped out the window, I yelled “Melody, No!” and she dropped. She recovered as I picked her up and didnt think anything of it. A few days later I heard a thump from the kitchen and there she was lying there. She took maybe 2 breaths with me by her side and she was gone. I had the vet do the autopsy so I would know why. It was cardiomyapothy. One side of her heart was not pumping blood.

    I wish I could have kept Sunnee around a little longer. He was a wierd boy who ate spider webs. He had allergys and his lip was always puffy. Whenever I would take him to the vet, they would want to do biopsies and blood test. I would say ok, and that I sure wish we could find out whats wrong with him, cause I keep paying for test that say he was fine. I fed him Alley Cat brand wet food to see if he would like it and it made him so sick. I took him to the vet and he stabilized. He was eating baby food after that. Is that what killed him? I had another 12 yr old pal named Punky who was eating baby food towards the end. I look online for instructions on caring for a frail cat and I find nothing. It’s too late for Sunnee. My other 3 cats aren’t going anywhere. But what did I do? Once a cat goes septic, can it come back to health? It seems like the cats did better wasting away not eating enough. I am sorry Sunnee I fed you that crappy Alley cat food that you seemed to like.

    I am haunted by his passing.

  • debbie

    lisa, my six year old persian cat, Kenny, died yesterday. we woke up in the morning and found him dead. he was perfectly healthy. So i know how you feel- when everyone asks how i am doing, i tell them i feel like a teenager with a ‘broken heart.’ there’s no other way to describe it.
    i am actually having a necropsy (animal autopsy) done to find the cause, although my vet said the same as yours- the number one cause of sudden deaths in cats is a heart defect that goes undetected until death. So your vet is probably right. So there’s nothing that you could have done. But the reason we are having the autopsy is bc my mom has a 7 yr. old persian cat (who had the same parents as my cat but was from a different litter) who died less than 3 wks. ago- the same way. So we are worried it’s something else. For example, we were giving both cats these calming treats that are supposed to calm them when they travel or go to the vet. We have this strange feeling that they are the cause. Has anyone ever heard of this?

  • torell

    I googled ‘cats’ ‘death’ ‘spirit’ because this morning my cat Petey died.

    It hurts, it hurts.

    Petey was very shy. No surprise there — he was a feral 2 month old when we found him and took him in before he became a meal for a coyote. When we took him to the vet for rabies shots and neutering his temperature shot up to 107F from the stress. The vet assistant who was doing intake that day stroked his thick orange coat. “He’s not a short hair. He’s not a long hair. He’s a soft hair.” That he was.

    Though he always hid when visitors came, he was extravagantly affectionate with me. When I sat on the sofa he would knead my leg and do this loud, in and out purr. He loved to be carried on my shoulder — only the left one — and once he jumped from the back of a chair into my arms. He would ‘walk’ up onto my shoulder anytime he had the opportunity.

    Very gradually he lost weight. Though he was only 8 years old, it became obvious he was not long for this world. He drank more and more water. His beautiful thick fur went lifeless and clumpy. Given Petey’s fear of strangers, after the diagnosis, CRF, I avoided the medical merry-go-round.

    Last night Petey staggered when he walked. He could not drink water. I took a dropper and let a few drops run over his tongue. Most of it ran out. His lips were gray purple, his eyelids puffy. I put some soft towels in a large pet carrier, put Petey inside and covered the outside with a few layers of sheets. It was dark and safe and soft, a place an animal would choose to die.

    This morning when I checked on Petey, he was still
    breathing. I took him out — just had to hold him
    — and he took a great huge gasp and died in my arms.

    I put him back in the carrier, his cave. There’s no way I would bury him until he had gone stiff.

    We took one last look at him, wrapped him in a pillowcase for a shroud, and buried him near the trees at the back of our yard.

    It’s rained all afternoon and our other three cats are strangely quiet.

    Until dark today, I kept looking at Petey’s grave, and the big Clethra plant I put there so that no animals could dig him out. I’ve been looking at websites that have to do with animals that have died, and their spirits. If you want to call your dead pet, speak his name three times, he will respond. You’ll hear scratching at the door, or lapping water. I am not in any mood to hear that that stuff is nonsense. I said Petey, Petey, Petey. And darn if a few minutes later I didn’t catch a whiff of Petey, the faint odor I had noticed in the last few days, when his fur was very close to my face.

    And I’ve been thinking, talking to Petey in my mind, ‘My dear cat, if you are going to be reincarnated down through time, how about spending a few more lives with me? ‘

  • Vidya

    I feel a little better after reading everyone’s personal stories. My cat died yesterday. She was 15 years old and had been with me since I was six – we had grown up together. She died of cancer at home and she fought for her life towards the very end. The most painful part was when she looked at me so helplessly and with such frightened eyes as if to say “why isn’t anyone helping me? Doesn’t anyone care that I’m suffering like this?”. She started thrashing about and writhing in agony. She also began to gasp/hiccup as her body just lay there. As she was dying, I began to howl and howl – I was screaming and crying uncontrollably – she just looked so unreal. We took her immediately afterwards to the veterinary hospital for cremation. I of course didn’t want to go, I wanter to be with her body for some time especially since I still had a little hope that she was still alive. But my father wanted to go as soon as possible because he didn’t want a dead body lying around in the house. It’s only after we walked back out of the hospital that I started to worry that she might still faintly be alive even though she had become stiff. I couldn’t tell. I kept visualising her being cremated in the fire and feeling it because she was barely alive but not being able to do anything about it because she couldn’t move. I think I’m still worrying about it. I should have asked the vet to check her thoroughly to see if her heart was still faintly beating. Instead the cremator just put her body immediately into a garbage bag and took her off.

  • CallmeMaddy

    This makes me cry. I had a cat that was like my best friend. I got her when it was thanksgiving. I was only four. I remember it well, it was my first memory. She use to bring me socks. She would “kill them.” Bat her paw until it was “dead”, scoop it in her mouth and put it by my side. One day I found eight socks on the side of my room. Last year, July 14, 2005, she got out my dad and never came home. She was 11 and had a happy life, but I won’t ever forget her. I got a new cat, hoping she could replace, but it’s not the same, you know? Every once in a while a cat like that comes a long.

    I’m sorry. We are all here for you.

  • Jennifer

    I went on this website because my husband and I put our Pooh Bear “down” yesterday, August 30, 2006. She was 10 years old. I suppose it was about 6 months ago that I felt some lumps on her tummy and kinda ignored it until one broke through the skin, and it looked like this quarter sized red sore and it bled. That is when I took her into the doctor. Huge mistake. I should have done that earlier. The doctor suspected cancer and said that she needed to take out the lump..actually there were a few other lumps in her tummy. Anyway, the pathology came back….mammary cancer, very aggressive cancer, and the margins did not come back clear. So we did a second surgery so she could hopefully get rid of the cancer by removing the mammary glands on that side. That pathology did not come back clear either, but there was nothing we could at that point except for chemotherapy and we didn’t want to put my cat through hell. I mean I saw my grandparents go through that and it killed them so fast. Anyway, just 2 months later, I felt lumps again, took her to the doctor, and the chest x-ray showed that it had spread to her lungs. I had noticed some odd behavior by Pooh Bear just a day before..her breathing. The vet said as soon as we noticed shortness of breath, we should put her down or she will suffer. Well, just a week later, the breathing became worse. Anyway, yesterday, we had to put her down, we decided to. I don’t know if we even did the right decision…I feel like I killed my cat. Watching the vet do those injections and supposedly it is the humane thing to do…still I just don’t know. Her eyes were twitching like she was having a seizure with the first shot and then the second shot and she was gone…it took like 30 seconds. I am in sooooo much pain right now. I suppose it is my selfishness wanting her here. Maybe we did the right thing? She was so loving, tender, innocent. I could go on and on. So I regret not taking her into the doctor sooner. Maybe if someone reads this and notices some lumps or something wrong, they can take their cat in to the doctor as soon as they notice. If I had done that, I would have my baby for longer. Miss you Pooh Bear!

  • wardah

    I have been never look at any website for cat…
    I’m doing this because my cat, Comel passed away yesterday… 1 September 2006. I really want to know how cat die? thats y im on the net…AFter 10 years with our family, she die outside of our house on the ground… I’ve been crying since 6.00 p.m when i got to know about the death. yep still crying untill now and couldnt sleep. Horrible!!

    I love my cat… i love my cat so much and ignore her for the last 3 weeks because im too busy… i kind of regret…. very regret!
    I dont notice any changes maybe Im too busy…. or i dont realize that shes sick. Oh God! I just want to why she die…. some neihbour said that they heard dogs and cat’s voice iutside the house… but it doesnt seems dog bite her theres no sign….. Comel die on the ground as the same the way she sleep.. mayb its timie for her o have a peace rest…. I hope she have great life with us in this 10 years time….

    I hope and wish whoever has pet…. love them and dont ignore them because we dont know when we will see them again…

    To Comel, you bring a joy and happiness to me and my family.. we never have pet before and not for fuure…. Thank you Comel.

    ~wardah, Malaysia

  • Jennifer

    To Wardah,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I’m still crying too.

  • Aaron

    My cat, Bella died just before sunrise this morning. We got a new kitten a week ago and Bella didn’t like it. Trying to avoid it she stayed outside most of the time. She wouldn’t come when we called her. So we started drivng to school and there she was in the road. I didn’t go to school today because it wa such a heartbreak. I have been crying for hours. This was the kind of cat that will never leave your heart. I was there to witness her birth (2-3 years ago). She loved us like no other cat did and we did the same. I still can’t get the image of her on the road. She looked the same as normal road kill, and that is not what she deserved. I miss my kiity, and I wish she would come home soon.

  • Sofja

    I am not a native English-speaker. I read all web sites I could find about the death of a cat in my own language, I read that the time that would heal. But the fact is that my cat died because of my fault. I think I will always have to live with it in my life. He died three days ago. He was only 2 years old. In the spring of this year I lost my father. Then this summer was very hard for our cat. After my father died we didn’t allow for our cat to go outdoors. But the cat really wanted to. I live in a big city. Once I sprayed clothes with a sprayer against clothes moth, on the window sill, with the window open, and quite forgot to wipe the window sill. A few days later the cat was sitting on that window sill and perhaps, his his paws on that place and he got sick afterwords. He lay motionless and we took him to the vet, and the vet gave him an injection against intoxication, and the injection helped. In a short while the cat vomited and then started to drink water and little by little ate his food and he became himself again. After a few days passed I boiled clothes, the cat was at home and sleeping. Perhaps, because of that he got sick again. And again the vets helped. Then the cat was sick for no reason, but soon again well. Though he started to spend much time sleeping on the balcony, as if he were a gelded he-cat. I should have thought that he was not healthy enough and take him to the vet or have him pass through urine tests. Instead, I washed him with anti-flea shampoo (I read the label attentively, the label said the degree of shampoo toxicity was slight). On the third day the cat was sick. The injection the vets made didn’t help that time. On the next morning the cat couldn’t stand on his feet. I hurried to the vet again, they made him three other injections, but in a few minutes after we brought him home he died. I simply cannot understand why I behaved like that. Why I had to apply that shampoo instead of taking him to the vet and check his health. I had thought a cat has a very strong health and we have a saying in our language “heal up as a cat”. I hadn’t thought that would be a last straw that would kill him. Even when we brought our cat home on his last day I really hoped he would recover. I thought our cat did pass through that, so he would recover again. The vets said the cat had sick kidneys and liver. But could they not have said that on our first visits to them? Or maybe he didn’t have sick kidneys and liver at that time. The cat liked to sleep on the window sill, and in winters it is rather cold there. His kidneys were exposed to cold. We tried not to allow him to sleep there, but he would stubbornly go and lie there. He died on his favorite window sill. I miss our cat so much. Everyone said he was so clever. I feel really guilty that I caused his death. I can still feel how I touch him and stroke him and he moves his head closer to me for me to stroke him, how he sits in my lap, or I hold him like a baby. I have so vivid recollections of him. He was a favorite member of our family. He trusted us so much, and how I could have done such thing to him. I wish I could bring back the time just a week ago. I still cannot really believe. Just a few days ago he was alive. I cannot stop crying. I cry even more than when my father died. Just that the cat was so dear to us and I betrayed him.

  • Stina

    I just lost my first cat, Bailey, today (actually Sept. 9th – I can’t sleep) on my 11th Wedding Anniversary. He was a gift to me on my first Wedding Anniversary. He was 10 years old. He died outside unexpectantly in my next door neighbors yard. He looked like he was sleeping in one of his favorite positions with his cute little face laying on his extra-toed paws. He was a beautiful healthy black cat who loved the outdoors. What happened? I thought I would of had at least 4-6 more years.

    My children were home at the time and each one was upset at different times of the day. Right away my youngest screamed for me to “wake him up now Mommy, I want Bailey back!” It felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart. My middle son started to cry hard just as it was bedtime and cried himself to sleep in my arms. My oldest can’t fall asleep and is fighting from thinking about it because it makes him sad.

    It hurts so much right now and hurts even more to see how much this is hurting my children. I am puzzled and shocked that Bailey is gone. He followed me everywhere I walked in the house. I use to trip over him. I am now constantly looking for him. I keep thinking he is just around the corner.

    I find some comfort from a few of the previously mentioned stories that are similar to the story of Bailey’s death. I thought 10 was too young to die and that it’s my fault because I didn’t do something to prevent it. It feels awful knowing that he died outside during the night while I slept peacefully. He was my first baby and I will miss him greatly!!!

    I love you Bailey! I miss you so much. Never in a millions years would I of thought the death of a pet would hurt so much.

  • Julie

    I woke up at 5:30 this morining to the dog barking (outside), so I got up and I didn’t see Kenobi in any of his usual spots, so I started looking for him and found him on the living room floor DEAD!!! He was still slightly warm. This was so shocking and sudden it took a while to sink in that it wasn’t a bad dream.

    He had been acting kind of strange lately prefering his pillow to our laps and he peed on me!, but other than that he was acting normal. We thought his behavior was because we let the dog in the house and had started keeping the cats out of our bedroom so we thought that he was mad at us. Looking back, if his behavior had changed without these surrounding circumstances, we would have taken him to the vet, the timing was just bad I guess.
    I can’t stop thinking about the what ifs and whys, why didn’t we take his behavior more seriously, what if I had woken up in time to get him to the emergency vet….. I miss him, and keep crying.
    I don’t think Chloe (our other cat) has noticed he is missing yet, but she has been extra affectionate.


    My flatmate’s cat died peacefully when i discovered this as early as six this morning. I’ve been living in this flat for two years, happily with a cat’s family of five. They meant a lot to my flatmate, not as much as to me, though. However, the joy we shared with this cat, and also with my flatmate, meant more than just friends, or just a little creature that we only feed routinely every day. Not knowing the reason why Si Si passed away, we, as a Chinese saying goes, believe that she might have prevented a disastrous event from happening that should have possibly happened to us.

    Coincidentally, I’m also going to leave and end this relationship with my flatmate. But i’m sure the good memory will share a place in my heart.

  • my cat cassie is dying she cant even walk because she is weak i need help please.

  • Vern

    Take Cassie to the vet and have her put away – it’s a hard thing to do, but it is humane not to ket animals suffer.

    I had my cat out down a few years ago. It was an ornery, noisy, part Siamese femlae who was protective of the yard and refused entry to strange cats – sometimes even to strange people.

    She had, arthritis, thyroid porblems and failing kidneys, and the week we put her down, I remember her putting to flight a strange cat – slapped it around and chased it through a hole in the fence. Loyal to the last, and I still miss her.

  • Emily


    My cat died last night. He had feline aids and leukemia and had lost more than half of his body weight. He was having a hard time getting up the last 2 days and had quit eating, and was peeing in his bed. I talked to a vet about putting him down yesterday afternoon but I was too afraid to let him go and decided to wait one more day. A few hours later he started having seizures that lasted for almost 2 hours and then he died. It was a horrible thing to see and I was unable to contact my vet (or any vet) for help. I found out after he died that he wouldn’t have been conscious when the seizures were happening but it was an extremely traumatic thing to see.

    I really wish I had let the vet put him down. Sometimes that is the best way for a kitty to go. I put another sick cat down a few months ago and it was very quick and looked painless – he died in about 10 seconds. If you don’t have it in you to put your Cassie down, at least talk to your vet about how things might go if she dies at home. I wish someone had warned me. So sorry you are going through this.

  • Jennifer

    To Emily and everyone who has lost their dear cat. I am so sorry. I also lost my cat/my best friend/my baby a few weeks ago. She had been with us (my husband and I) for so many years. She got cancer, and we tried to save her through surgery, but it came back so fast and spread to her lungs. She started having these episodes panting, coughing, couldn’t breathe very well with even just climbing stairs (the vet told us to watch for that). The vet said we might have a month..we only had a week. My husband was so adamant to have her put down when we started noticing the symptoms getting so worse, and I wanted to hold on like so many of us do. I finally gave in…..we had the vet put her to sleep, and as much as it hurts me, I think it must have been okay for her. She collapsed against me when she “fell to sleep.” I have been so devastated about all of this for all this time (I felt like I killed her), but then I read about your story Emily, and I feel like maybe I did the right thing. Thank you. And I’m so sorry about your kitty. I think all our cats must be in a better place now, not sick, not hurting…we will see them again one day.

  • Priscilla

    My Bella died yesterday after a short battle with cancer. My heart is broken and I miss her so much.

  • Cassie

    My cat Milky Way died today. She has been sick the last couple of weeks and I knew this was coming. About a year ago, she kept having these “episodes”. At first I thought they were seizures and only recently did the vet finally discover she had a heart condition. My precious kitty, the sweetest cat ever, spent 14 happy years with our family. She would pick up her toys and carry them around while “meowing”. She also slept with me every night, curled up right next to my head, purring as loud as she could. She was a good kitty. She went to the vet a couple weeks ago for her yearly checkup and an asthma shot. The vet commented that her heart was still sounding “off” and reminded of the pills. Milky had recently stopped eating the canned food with the crushed up pill, she didn’t like the taste and figured out why she was getting those special treats. After trying a couple different methods, I successfully fed her what was her last pill last night with a new brand of cat food. She had been breathing very heavy recently and I planned on taking her to the vet tomorrow because I scheduled to be off work. So, I came home from a long day at work. I stopped at a Sonic for some dinner and just had this awful thought that I wouldn’t get to eat my food because of something tragic happening. Sure enough. For the past month or so, the first thing I do when I walk into the house or wake up in the morning or leave a room for more than 20 minutes, is check on Milky to see if she’s ok. This time she wasn’t. She was lying stiff and lifeless in my closet. Not sure how long she was there. I did tell her goodbye this morning, like I always do. I will miss her. She was a good cat.

    I know I rambled a lot and probably didn’t make any sense whatsoever, not even sure if anyone will read this, but it helped. Don’t know how I will fall asleep tonight knowing I’ll never have a cuddly purring kitty to snuggle like that again. Love you precious.

  • Laurie

    Our sweet & snuggly cat, Sadie, died unexpectedly this morning. She was pitch black with velvet fur, and round yellow eyes, and only 4.5 years old. She was eating breakfast at 6am, and then at 6:50am my husband & I heard her & our other cat hissing & yowling in the other room. (We assumed they were doing their usual “cat-fight & makeup” play.) I got into the room and found Sadie on the bed, panting heavily, but intact (i.e. no fur tufts missing, which would sometimes happen when they played). I pet her, and then went back to feeding our baby, and at 7am, I heard Sadie yowling again, this time in the hallway. She was on her side, panting heavily, and then peed all over the floor. My husband checked all of her paws for injuries, but she didn’t flinch or cry out. Then, she quickly wobbled into our bedroom, and hid under the bed while we were cleaning the mess up. I ran to get her carrier, and by the time that I got back upstairs, she was further under the bed. As I was trying to remove the mattress & planks, telling her she would be ok, Sadie died right in front of me.

    Our beautiful Sadie was fine an hour before, and then gone. Admittedly, she was overweight, but she never had any kind of problem before. It’s so surreal; my husband and I are still in disbelief, and we’ve been crying on and off all day. After reading Lisa’s & Debbie’s comments, I think Sadie may have also had a heart defect. Can anyone tell us what may have happened? Every time I close my eyes, I see her, and I’m heartbroken.

  • sad me

    My cat died Friday (10/6). He was an indoor/outdoor cat and very well taken care of. He threw up food the Wed before I went out of town. I thought it was weird but would be ok. Then I went out of town the next day and came back Monday night. I have no idea if he had been eating that weekend or still vomiting. I came back into town Monday night and my husband said he had been throwing up white foam and sounded like he was burping really loud Monday. I checked on him. He seemd a little sick but not really that bad. He was still walking. He meowed to me several times like he wanted something or wanted me to do something but I did not know what to do. Then Tues and Wed he was moping around, really weak but still walking and drinking lots of water (as usual). Then Thurs night he threw up a lot of water and I decided we should take him to the vet. We could not take him to the vet the next day (Friday). He was not on the porch Friday morning and my husband found him laying in the yard Friday afternoon. He was still alive but looked terrible. I had a feeling he may be dying. Then he called the vet and the vet was already gone for the day. They told us to take the cat to this place we did not trust and really felt like the vet did not care and only wanted money. We decided we would take cat to the vet the next morning when the vet we liked and trusted would be there. I just knew he could hold onto the next morning. Then we went to get dinner and run errands. When we got back the cat was dead. I feel so terrible. I cannot stop crying and thinking I did not do anything to help him. I feel like those cries were for me to try and help him live but I let him down. I miss him a ton and am so confused as to why he died. He was only 3 years old????? I got him right after I got married and he was all i had when we moved to a new place and my husband travelled all the time. He was really spoiled but I feel like I jsut let him die b.c I was too busy to take him to the vet. And I am mad at my husabnd too b/c I feel like he did not do some things he should have done, like look for the cat harder Friday morning or find another vet in the area Friday afternoon. By the time I got home on Friday all the local vets were closed and the only option was the vet we did not like. I am not blaming my husband, I definatley feel like it was my fault. But I am really sad and miss my cat. The main thing is that I am confused as to why he did and feel like I did not do anything to help him and he wanted to live.

  • Clint

    My cat Gradus died this weekend. It was not a huge surprise, but it has been hard nonetheless. He was a great cat, one I picked up on my porch in a blizzard over 10 years ago, when I was much younger than I am today.

    Gradus has been around for a lot. At least 10 girlfriends have loved or hated him. Dozens of mice have been captured and died in his claws. 10 apartments, one mountain cabin, and finally the house I bought last year, he called them all home. He lived his life in Montana, Colorado, Oregon, and most recently in Colorado once again.

    I will miss him. I am grateful that he was a happy cat, that he used up all 9 of his lives, that I saw him climbing a tree just a week ago, and that he did not suffer for long when his ticket was finally up.

    Thanks Emily for being there for him in those last hours when I was not home and could not be there.

  • Robyn

    My daisy may died..this sunday October 15th..2006.. She was born on April 15, 1994.. I was there.. She joined me through 4 relationships. one marriage.. one divorce.. moved out of state.. and up and down the state of California with me.. My one unconditional love I have… She died..at 12 and a half years.. and could have lived longer..had my vet. treated and tended to her better. I blame myself. A tumor went untreated, I could not find a vet to treat her tumor.. she could not breath this passed Saturday night. as I took her to her final rest at the horrible steel table.. and watched her eyes.. as her soul left. I cannot get the horrible image out of my mind. I watched my Daisy come into this world… and I watched her leave.. God Bless my best friend.. God bless my tuxedo pet.. of 5 pds.. Daisy May.. Cancer took her..

    God bless all of you. I believe pets are closer and better friends than humans.

  • sad me

    I am so sorry to hear about daisy. My cat died a couple of weeks ago and it is so hard. Pets really are the best friends. I know daisy knew you loved her. The horrible steel table of death—I understand.

  • Sarah

    Pepper, my cat died exactly one year ago. He was a Main Coon and I will never forget him. He arrived as a kitten when I was newly divorced, bringing up my two boy on my own. He was a Godsend. He cheered us up, made us laugh, befriended each one of us individually and we completely adored him. I have had other cats in my life but this one was like a person. I still feel the sense of loss, when he was run over, at the age of 7 and absolutely in his handsome prime.

  • Laurie

    I lost my cat to cancer too. I’m so sorry for your loss (and to everyone else out there who has lost their pet). It hurts so much. It’s so painful. I lost my cat 2 months ago and I still can’t get over it. I cried when I read your story and so many others on this website. It helps somehow I think, to know we are not alone in our pain. Everyone has their time to go I suppose. It seems so unfair though.

    My cat was this huge cat…very plump. She was a ragdoll with a huge round face and big blue eyes and huge paws. She had a massive tail. What a beauty. What a sweetheart too. She never lost her kitten habits. She would crawl in my hair at night and knead her paws as if she was feeding on her mommy. She would also check herself out in the mirror constantly..it was so silly. Gosh I miss her. Sorry to go on and on.

    Anyway, I hope that soon you can think about the good memories of your kitty and not think about her passing on. She was loved.

  • Robin

    It has helped me to read all of your comments and to know that so many others love their cats in the way that I do. One of my cats, Big Daddy, passed away on 14 Oct 06 from FIV complications. I returned home from work to find that he had passed in his sleep. His face looked so beautiful like a newborn kitten. I am grateful that he went peacefully but my heart is broken just the same. Big Daddy was the sweetest street cat that I ever met. I was the first human to touch him and he trusted me completely after some time. Big Daddy had lived with me for only 10 months when I took him from the streets in Kuwait. Although the time was short, the love and lessons learned will last forever. Sweet dreams, Big Daddy. Rest in peace, I love you and miss you dearly.

  • Jim

    We lost Scooter this morning. Very quick, and I don’t think he suffered. There were no warnings — he simply passed away during the night. The vet said that it was probably a stroke. I am very comforted from those who say that we will see our pets again on the other side. I hope you’re right. I can’t believe how much I miss him. I’ve had a number of cats over the years, but I think I’d have to label Scooter as the nicest. He was patient, forgiving, and 100 poounds of love in a 10 pound package. Geez, this hurts!

  • Meredith

    I lost my precious boy, my Bubba just yesterday 10/22/06 and I am devastated. It looked like he went in his sleep. I miss you, precious boy. I have been crying on and off and I was very glad to find this site. I am at work now with the mental capacity of a staple gun. Bubba was a very special cat…he was my best friend and I hope I get to see him again someday.

  • Cleo’s mom

    I lost my baby girl, Cleo, after almost 15 years of love and companionship. She died on Mon 10/23/06 in her favorite room of the house. I miss her so much and it feels like the tears will never stop. She had been losing weight for quite some time and she had been vomiting often. The vet wasn’t sure what was wrong with her but he gave her a SQ shot for hydration. He said we could run a lot of tests to determine the problem but I didn’t want to put her through all the stress. Now I feel like I should have. I’m feeling all kinds of guilt in thinking about things that I didn’t do that maybe I should have.

    She seemed ok that morning when I left around 10am but when I got home around 6pm, I found her laying there on her side, lifeless, eyes and mouth open. There were small drops of dark colored feces near her and a few stained swirls under her body as if she had been dragging around or something. I don’t know what she went through as she was dying. But I wish I had been there so that maybe I could have done something to help. I feel like she needed me and I wasn’t there and she died alone. I hope the pain lessens as the days pass. I hope she knows how much joy she brought me and how much I will always love her.

  • Matthew

    Before today I would have never appreciated the significance a thread of comments like this could have to me, so I want to add my own experience and say thank you to all of you.

    My sidekick, Miss Kitty aka Kitten aka Buddhakitty aka Boobahs lol, passed away yesterday morning of kidney failure. Recently she had been acting strange exhibiting many of the behaviors described here by others. Finally I took her to the vet who said she was very sick and took a blood test, gave her fluids under the skin, and groomed her. She seemed much happier afterwards and I thought she might pull through. She had been hanging out and sleeping outside for the last few days, which was very unusual for her. In the middle of the night though she came in and jumped up on the bed. She started talking to me and trying to snuggle up next to my chest. As she was not a big talker and *always* preferred to snuggle up next to my legs I knew this was it and knew that she knew it too. So I stayed with her and pet her until I fell asleep. I awoke at about 7:45am and found that she had moved onto the floor next to the bed and was in her last throws of life, unconscious but eyes open and occasional gasps. The realization put me into shock and I threw up and passed out (this was a very unusual involuntary experience I had never had), waking up half an hour later to find her dead.

    Before reading online posts I struggled a bit with thoughts of “if I had taken her in sooner” or “could I have saved her if I hadn’t gone unconscious myself.” But now I understand that there isn’t much you can do for a kitty in the final stages of renal failure, and that she died in the way she wanted: groomed, comfortable (as much as she could be) in my company, in her own time. The one thing that I am so glad about is that when she came in to communicate that the end was imminent, I put everything else aside (I am always so busy and preoccupied) and just focused on her until the end.

    Our pets depend on us, and when you can’t do anything for them or don’t know what to do, it makes you feel terrible. I feel better knowing this experience was not unusual and that I did not fail her in some way. I really needed that understanding for me to be ok, so thank you to you all and hopefully others find some comfort in my own story.

    By the way, I buried her on my parent’s land and in such a way that hopefully she will soon become an apple tree. When I dug the grave I found gravenstein (literally translates to gravestone!!!) apples littered about, which I found odd because there is no apple tree there that I am aware of, so I took it as a hint and seeded her grave with them. Bye Miss Kitty I loves you.

  • Jackie

    I lost my big boy Cosmo (aka. Mr. Whiskers, Mr. Bumbles, The Bumber, Good Boy) on Saturday, November 25th. I am devastated. He was such a good boy. He was only 5 years old. It happened very suddenly. I had a friend over and we were talking. All of the sudden, he started going into some type of convulsion. I picked him up and his whole body was shaking. He wasn’t sick at all. In fact he was acting very cute as always. We were just talking about what a sweetie he was and how he sits near company. I knew by the way he was shaking that it wasn’t good. I kept saying to him, “Don’t die on me!” and in a few seconds his body was like a rag doll. He was such a beautiful cat. His limp body lay with his tongue out. I tried to give him mouth to mouth but he was already gone. Why did he have to leave so soon. I tried so hard to save him. Why couldn’t I just save him. I thought for sure he would be around for at least another 5 years. It doesn’t make sense.

    My grief is so great. I don’t know what to do. He was my special kitty. We had a tremendous bond. He would lick my face and give me “cat kisses” which he didn’t do with anyone. I used to say I was his “cat momma”.

    Anyone who met him commented on how good he was. Even people who did not like cats.

    When I first met my husband, he was allergic to cats. I told him that if we ever got our own house, he would have to put up with it. Almost 10 years later, Oct 2001, we bought our first house. By December 19th 2001, we brought home Cosmo. I waited so long to get him. I always loved cats. When I could finally get my own, I went to the Anti-Cruelty several times. It wasn’t until I picked him up and he showed me his belly I knew it was love. My husband said he wouldn’t let him sleep in the bed. That lasted all of 1 hour. My husband became immune to his allergies and he became a best friend to Cosmo also. Now, less than 5 years since we got him, he dies out of the blue.

    My husband was out when it happened. I called him to come home immediately. He was there when he was still warm. He dug a hole in the backyard to bury him. I didn’t want him to get buried so soon. I felt like it was too soon. I just wanted to hug him one more time.

    He was a beautiful black and white tuxedo cat with perfect markings. His fur was like velvet and he smelled so good. I would pick him up every time I saw him and he didn’t mind one bit.

    I love you so much Cosmo, I wish you were here.

  • sr

    Jackie, truly sorry about Cosmo. Take care.

  • Ginny

    I just sent this letter off to my daughters. At present, my poor Sequel is lying on top of my washer, and I held him for the longest time, petting him, and watching for any sign that he was still with me. He is stiff and cold, but still I hope. I found Slash hiding under the sewing machine, hair on his back standing up straight, and I picked him up and petted him, and talked to him, telling him hoe much he means to me. I think Bill thinks I’m crazy, but he is very sympathetic. I do believe that cats have souls, I truly do. I believe this with my whole heart, because Slash knows when I am upset ot angry or hurting, and does his best to comfort me. Now it is my turn to comfort him, in his loss, which is as real to him as mine is to me. I am asking for help and guidance from both my family, and my Maker!

    Hi, Girls,

    Bill woke me this morning, very gently, with some bad news. Sometime overnight, the younger of our two cats, Sequel, curled up on the couch in the living room, and went to sleep, and slipped peacefully away.

    This leaves us with a pretty bewildered Slashie, who is now about sixteen or seventeen years old. The two have been companions since Sequel was born, with Slash playing the part of surrogate ‘uncle’ to Sequel. I think it was the fact that Slash realized that the little one was pure black, like himself, that helped him form an instant bond with the newcomer.

    Those of you who visited us are probably more familiar with Slash than Sequel. Sequel was the shy one, who normally ran and hid when people came into the house. He was of a far more nervous temperament than his companion. But he will be missed, especially by me, and of course, by Slashie as well.

    Any suggestions on how to comfort a now-lonely cat will be helpful, aside from bringing a new one into the house. Right after the New Year, we plan on driving down to Florida for Abby’s first birthday, and I think that will be a crucial time for Slash. We do have a friend who will be coming in to make sure he has food and water, but for the most part he will be all alone.

    Love, Mom

  • Michelle

    I can sympathize with everyone’s pain. I lost a cat last year to cancer. My 17 yr old cat is now slowly slipping away and not eating and I’m struggling now with deciding to “go all out” and see what’s wrong or just peacefully let him go?

    I had an experience last year that brought me a lot of peace. I’ll share the story here, perhaps it will bring peace to someone else. I also volunteer at our local humane society and have contact with lots of animals there.


    2005 was a hard year for us. We lost two dogs and a cat (old age, heart failure, cancer). The house seemed lonely and empty. One day in December I had the day off work and I slept in and had this dream:


    I am in the bedroom putting away laundry. My poodle Spike is on the bed watching me. As I turn back away from the drawers towards the bed I see my little cockapoo LittleLady that passed away 3 years ago curled up on the pillows. (I know in my dream that she has already passed away) I walked over to her and pet her. I pick her up in my arms and carry her out to the living room where my husband is watching tv and dozing on the couch. I say “look honey, look who came to visit us”. He pets her on the head also.

    Time jumps forward a few seconds and I realize my lap is empty and my husband has dozed off. I wake him up and ask if he saw what I saw. He mumbles “LittleLady” and falls back asleep.

    I go back into the bedroom and resume putting away laundry. This time when I turn back around every animal I have ever had in my lifetime is surrounding me in the bedroom. I also see some animals that I have crossed paths with from my work at the animal shelter.

    Patty the calico cat is on a pillow (passed in 1998). Peanut (passed of cancer this year) is on the end of the bed. LadyG (heart failure, this year) is lying on the floor near the bed with her tail wagging. LadyWise (passed last January at age 17) is on the other side of the bed. My little chihuahua Harry from my childhood is on the end of the bed also, as are BigCat, BabyCat, Artie, BooBoo the poodle, Trixie the shepherd, and also a couple of dogs I don’t recogize. I feel very happy, peaceful, and in wonder and awe.

    And then I woke up……


  • hallie

    I found out today that my cat has a couple weeks more to live. I don’t know what to do. I’m absolutely devastated. I got her when I was in kindergarden and now I’m graduating high school. She follows me wherever I go. She is the most loving, compassionate cat. I honestly don’t know how I will live without her. 🙁

  • Linda

    I just wanted to add my experiences to those of you all. I have been very sad the past 2 weeks as my wonderful companion/friend of 14 1/2 years passed away on March 27. He had been taken ill by eating some of the recently recalled food and there is no vet near where I live and I had to take care of him myself. I tried so hard to save him but I just couldn’t and he died laying beside me on my bed. I know he has a spirit and he has gone to the other side but I really miss his physical being. I hope his spirit will visit me sometime. He was a wonderful, loving pet (cat). He came to live with me when my other cat died suddenly 14 1/2 years ago. I know she sent him to be with me and comfort me and I have loved him every day since. When he died, he cried out 3 times and I believe that is when his spirit left his poor body. I have another cat, 6 years old and I love him too. I hope he does not get sick and die fromt he food. I don’t think he ate any of it.

    Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I am so very sad. I guess I just need time.

    Love to you all and I am sorry for all your losses too. Animals are so very forgiving and loving.

  • Sandy & Peanut Butter

    I am so sad. My kitty Peanut is in bad shape. She has liver problems and has lost weight. After a vet stay of a few days she seems to be worse than she was when we first took her in. The vet wants to do every surgeru there is and seems to be just after my money, which I don’t have. Estimates for surgery are $6,000 then when I ask for a breakdown the estimate drops to $2,000. What happened to vet’s just wanting to help instead of nickel and diming owners? I always say if I win the lottery I am opening a vet practice for pet owners who can’t afford the prices vet’s charge. We have assistance for people why can’t we do it for our animals? Mark my words, if I do ever come into money that assistance will happen for pet owners. This is only part of my frustration. I am crying as I am writing this because my baby is on a blanket fighting for her life on so many types of medicine. I am praying she takes a turn for the better and is back eating and walking like she was prior to taking her to the vet. A mass was found near the liver which could be a tunor or a infection, I am hoping for just the infection because it can be treated. What happened? Why is she worse off now than 2 days ago when I dropped her off? I thank you for having this board and allowing me to vent. I am devastated to the point I can’t even function. She is only 7 and is the sweetest cat. Since the day I found her by a dumpster she has been my baby, please pray for her as I am doing for all your babies.

  • lena

    Reading everyone’s comments about their kitties has really helped me get through the death of my cat Alberta Einstein. She died peacefully in her bed a few hours ago. She was 16 and her health had been failing lately. It is heartening to read of the love some many people have for their pets. I really feel bad for the pets and owners who are affected by the tainted pet food that has touched so many families. These “random” acts remind us that life is fleeting and sorrow must not be allowed to cover our love.

  • Elena

    Hi, i am so glad I found this web page. One of my cats died a few days ago. I got her and her two sisters when they were 4 weeks old. They were very sickly at the time, I found them outside and took them in. At the age of two month, one of the sisters called Hearts died and I discovered that they all had leukemia. But I decided not to put them to sleep but to let them leave for as long as they would. This May they would be 2 years old but one of them suddenly died. I found Coral-Bell on this Saturday morning, dead, in a dried up puddle of yellow vomit. My heart almost broke when I saw her lying there dead, I will remember that image until the day I die. Now that I think back, I noticed a change in Coral-Bell’s behavior two month ago. She suddenly started to be afraid of everything, including me. This was very unusual for an extremely friendly cat. There wasn’t really anything else. I wanted to know the exact reason for her death, it could be any of numerous complications of leukemia. I took her to the vets office this weekend and asked the vet to do an autopsy. She is going to do it tomorrow.The last surviving sister Lilly is doing well so far, although I think her appetite decreased. I have a feeling that this little one is going to be lost soon too.

    I really hope that animals go to Heaven. Otherwise, it would be such a waste of so many beautiful souls.

  • Beverly

    Hi. I am also so glad I found this web page. My cat died yesterday. I went on vacation for 9 days and left her in PetSmart PetHotel. She was recently had a vet check up and was in great health. I picked her up on Saturday at 6pm from the PetHotel. The thing that kills me is that before she was brought out the receptionist told me that the cat was doing great and was using her litter box. They must have had her confused with some other cat. They gave her to me limp and with her eyes sealed shut. I was in shock and gave her back to them so that they could do something about her eyes. They cleaned her eyes and gave her back to me. She was 7 pounds when I dropped her off and when I picked her up she was 4 pounds. I was hoping that she would bounce back after being home and that she was only a little dehydrated. She appeared very dehydrated but I was hoping that being home she would get better. When we got home, she drank tons of water and licked her food. She walked as if she was dehydrated but cuddled up to the beagle and fell asleep so I hoped that she would be fine for the night. The next day we had a nor’eastern and my vet was closed so I had hoped to ride out Sunday. She did seem comfortable sleeping although she didn’t eat Sunday but she did drink water. First thing yesterday, I woke up and waited for the vet to open but it was too late. Overnight, she got really weak and died a few hours after I dropped her off in the vet. My thoughts are that she passed due depression and kidney failure. Someone else on this page confirmed my thoughts about her kidney failure. She was drinking a ton of water for weeks. She was almost 16 years. I only had her for a little over 2 years. She was originally my cousin’s cat for a semester in college then she was left to my grandfather until he moved to a new place two years ago and couldn’t keep the cat. Poor cat but she was finally happy and wanted in my home with my two dogs for the last two years of her life. She finally found a place to call home in my house.

  • Nan

    We just buried Our Sweet Gentle Cat ” Stretch ” right Next to Her Sister ” Morsel ” who died just a month ago. They were Our Children & We are so Heart-Sick. ” Morsel ” suffered for some time & then Had no more strength to keep going. Her ” Sister Stretch Looked Around EVERY corner each day & night But No More ” Morsel “. We took Stretch to the Vet at 7a.m. & She had every test done But passed away at the Vet’s office. We picked Her up & buried Her next to Her Beloved Sister ” Morsel “. Did ” Stretch ” simply just Give up on Life because She missed ” Morsel “?? Well The Vet could not find a thing so I will always wonder What happened & Why ?? Our Hearts are aching & the pain is Great. The memories are so strong & Have always Filled Our Days with so much Love & they will Last Forever. May They Rest In Peace. WE Love & Miss You Girls so Much. And it hurts so bad. In Our Hearts Foever & Ever.. Bye..

  • jen

    i’m afraid my sweet kitty Spot is slowly fading away.. she was my best and most faithful friend for the last 14 years. So spunky, cute, and loving.. i can’t bear the thought that when cats, or any animal “die” that they just DIE are gone forever. it’s not fair.

  • Linda

    My beautiful yellow tabby died yesterday. He was 15, had been a diabetic for six years. His kidneys were failing. Monday the vet advised me to put him to sleep but I wanted one more day with him. The vet treated him with fluids to clear some of the toxins from his kidneys and an anti-nausea medicine. I bought baby food for him, which he would eat when nothing else tasted good and wanted to feed him and hold him for another day. When I took him home he wouldn’t eat the babyfood and when I held him he wanted down. He became very lethargic. He wouldn’t sleep. Just laid near his water. If I laid near him he wanted to get away from me. I took him to the vet the next day and had him put to sleep. I feel guilty for keeping him alive one more day when he was so sick. I loved him more than anything in the world. He gave me lots of love over 15 years and we went through a lot together. Sad, sad day for me.

  • Gen

    2 weeks ago I found my baby in the yard, 3 – 4 weeks happy as can be sitting on a mound of dirt. Her little black eyes looking up with need and hunger for a home. I took her in and gave her all the love and attention since i stayed home all the time. last night I don’t know what happened… i turned around hearing her yelp and saw her bolt to under the bed. I looked under the bed to see if she was ok and she began to jump and jerk before she ran out… I picked her up and her legs were covered in poop. I ran into the bathroom to clean her off and she was clawing the living heck out of my wrist before she fell to her side and began to flair her arms and legs… then she couldn’t mew… her tongue turned fleshy pale and then she stopped moving… I shook her and she just tried to mew… her pupils rolled back… and I laid her down… pet her softly… she grew stiff.. everyone says it’s my fault.. I don’t understand how… but I guess somehow it is… my poor midnight, All i can do now is hug my 14 week old and my 12 week old and love them so much.

  • JoAnne

    I think my cat Punkin is dying. He hasn’t eaten anything today other than some cheddar cheese and bread. He had been vomitting a lot, so the vet suggested we change his food to a non-allergy type, which seemed to work. Once in a while he still vomitted, and I’d take him to the vet for a steroid shot, which stopped the vomitting. Then Punkin was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and had the radioactive iodine treatment. His thyroid numbers were back in the normal range, but he continued to vomit and didn’t gain weight. He would eat, vomit once in awhile, but otherwise seemed entirely normal. The vet detected an enlarged liver and his liver enzymes were up, so he prescribed some anti-biotics. One was liquid and one in pill form. Punkin wouldn’t take either one. The vet said some cats just can’t be treated. Punkin has lost even more weight, and vomitting more frequently. Other than that, he seems normal. He is almost 14 yeas old, and appears to be sore in his legs, because he takes a long time to lie down. I figured it was due to getting old, and tried to help him out and keep him comfortable. He has sat on my vanity next to my makeup mirror for years, watching me get ready for work, and he lies there while I take a bath each morning. He sleeps with me at night, and when I come home from work, he is sitting at the door waiting for me. He has been a love, and I am just sick about losing him. Today he didn’t wake up when I did, and normally, he comes and wakes me up if I sleep past the snooze alarm. Finally he got up but wouldn’t eat anything. He went to his eating spot, but just sniffed the food I put down for him, then walked away. Finally I gave him some cheese and he ate that with some bread, took a good drink of water, then went back to relaxing. I knew that wasn’t enough food to maintain good health, but it was something. It is now late afternoon and he is sleeping. I haven’t seen him eat any of his cat food, and the cheese I gave him earlier was only about 1/2 an ounce, if that. His coat is very scruffy, but no mats. He is shedding a lot, and when I pet the length of his body, there is a lot of loose hair. I brushed him earlier and there was a lot of hair. I would think he wouldn’t have any more to shed, but it just keeps coming off. However, his coat still seems thick, it’s just that it looks scruffy, and he is so thin. I know he can’t live long without eating. I know it’s just a matter of time. He means so much to me! He has changed my life. Honestly he has. He has made me a better person. I thought he would be with me until he was at least 18 or 20 years old. I think he is too young to be dying. I wonder how many cats live a long life after they have had hypothyroidism? Sometimes humans never recover from a serious illness, and maybe cats don’t either. It has helped to read all the posts. I get comfort knowing others understand how I feel. Thank you all for writing.

  • Carol

    My beautiful hairball, Pinky passed away on Monday, 16 July 2007 at 6.05am. She had a seizure the day before and never really recovered.

    She was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure in April 2005 and throughout the two years, she had a few “crashes” where she became so sick but somehow or other, she would bounce back. This time, it never happened. I don’t know whether I had foreseen it coming or whether I had thought she would recover but her death was so unreal. The morning she passed away, I had stayed quite cool despite tears streaming down my face each time I thought of her. She was cremated and her urn with her ashes and bones was returned to me.

    I believe it was only the next day that it really struck me that my companion, my best friend was gone. I’ll never get to hold her again..to have her greet me each evening…to hear her scratches on my bedroom door each morning…or to kiss her fuzzy head. I felt so alone and it hurt so much. The consolation I have is that I knew she was sick and that she would leave me one day but it’s never easy when it finally happens and it dawns on you that she’s gone forever.

    I have a blog for her.

    I’ll never ever forget her…what I would do for one more day with her.

  • robin

    I’ve been rding these stories & crying my eyes out. So many of you have had a chance to be w/ your beloved pet when they’ve passed away. You don’t know how lucky you are. I bet it was really hard but at least they knew you were w/ them & you cd tell them gdbye…

    Our 18 yr old cat “Kitty Baby” has been missing 5 days & me & thechildren have been looking under bushes ec & passing out papers. People say they “go off” to die. Why wd they do that? Why not stay home w/their loved ones? I don’t understand…

    She had been biten a few months ago by a stray that roamed the neighorhood. She had infecton & vet cked her out & other than losing weight didn’t find anythg. But she’s never been overwt. Other than laying ard alot &sleeeping & urinating in house sometimes, she was still getting ard & loved to sit in front of the stove if I was cooking chicken or turkey:) We’ve been to SPCA, & pound & called public works in case she’d been hit by car…

    I just can’t stand thAT SHE died away from us all alone. She was indoor/outdoor & liked to sleep under boxwood bush by our front door.

    Kitty Baby had been w/ me ever since I got married. She was a stray when my husband fd her & brought her home to me. She’s been to 4 homes w/us, taught my 2 kids to crawl b/c they wd

    follow her,slept on our bed, loved to be petted

    1st thg in morns or when she came in house,etc. I cant believe she was w/me most of my adult life…

    I just feel like she was hurt real bad by the stray, or was dying & either way didn’t make it home. She went out @11pm & 7hrs later she didn’t come back in when we called her. I’d like to hear from anyone whose cat has died away from home & they didn’t even have a body to bury?????The last few yrs she hasn’t been real playful but I still miss her being here & the kids had her their whole lives….

  • Jennifer

    Hey there everyone. I just want to say something about veterinarians..don’t trust all of them. In my experience, some are just out for major money. My precious cat passed away due to cancer almost a year ago and my goodness the money I spent on her and all this nonsense the doctor had me do to her. I would have done anything to try to save her, but the dishonesty from them makes me still ill. They should have been straight with me. I spent tons of money for surgeries and everything to no avail. She died anyway. My heart still breaks by the way. It’s not just that, it’s that they tell you all this bullsh*t about how they are eating and just fine under their care (I wonder if they even monitor them) and how they will come out 100% okay…what a joke. Here’s another story. Since then, I adopted 2 kittens. Get this…one of them got sick and was hiding and not herself. So, I took her into another vet cuz I didn’t totally trust the last one. The vet lady recommended 1500 dollars worth of workup and hospitalization. She also said before that that my kitten just had a temperature and she felt she wasn’t so bad. What the hell, so why the 1500 dollars? And you know what else? I just saw her take the rectal temperature with one of those same things we use, those electronic mouth thermometers. So annoyed of course, and having been through this before, I told her to prescribe her an antibiotic, I would take her temperature, and if it didn’t go down I would bring her back. Get this, a few doses of antibiotics and taking her temperature, she got all better. It makes me sick; this vet lady was all out for money. This last vet office was horrible also, telling me to schedule surgery ASAP and I tried but couldn’t reach the office. Cancer grows fast, you have to get it taken of right away, they called me back a week later. Unfortunately, it had spread all over her lungs and she was fighting to breathe at that point.

    Anyways, point is that some vets do not care about your animal, they just want the money. That’s how I feel anyway.

    I don’t mean to sound so angry. The whole thing makes me sick. People love their pets, they are family. I feel that way! And I’m sorry for everyones’ loss of their pets. My heart goes out to you all. Just please pick your vet carefully.

  • Michelle

    I found my baby cat dead this morning. i usually have her stay inside overnight but she wasnt there but i didnt think anything of it. When i got up in the morning i went outside where the fence is and i saw her lying on her back, eyes open, and all stiff. i cant even explain how heart-broken i am. im crying as im writing and im just trying to get though the day. My cat Franki was only about 10 months old and very healthy. I didint take her to a vet because i just dont want to know anything. Im reassured now that ive found this site becasue even though i dont want to think about it, at leats i know im not alone. Has anyone else experienced this? i really dont know how she died? Poisoned? heart failure? im a doctor but i dont know animal sicknesses. Im so upset. she was my baby. i love her so much. forever.

  • Cheryl

    My kitty of 12 years died this week. It helps to read the other comments. At least I know I am not alone in worrying if she was in pain during death and wondering about whether or not she had a soul. She had lymphoma cancer and had been having problems with a tumor in her bladder that was causing bleeding. I refused chemotherapy but agreed to use pain med and a steriod med. She seemed to feel very good for a couple of weeks. I came home late and found her in the middle of the floor laying on her side and barely breathing. Her eyes were unresponsive but she did raise up for a second. It was so upsetting to see her go through this. I couldn’t do anything but cry and tell her I was sorry and give her a little kiss. After a while, She quit breathing and curled up with her nose in her paws and made a long moaning sound then suddenly bowed her head and back upward with her mouth opening and closing for what seemed like forever but lasted probably less than a minute. Then she went limp. I could only pray that she was not aware of any pain. I feel so guilty that I did not give her the meds that morning becouse she would not come out to take them.

  • Mo

    My cat SAM died on Sunday. He was a stray and had been with the family for 17 years. He suffered from renal & heart problems towards the end. Even so he was an outdoor / inside cat and was happy. He followed me everywhere and always waited for me when I got home.

    Last week he stopped eating and got into such a state that he wasn’t having any quality of life. He had lost considerable weight and was sick. When he wouldn’t eat or drink I knew it was time to take him to the vet but he disappeared for 30 hrs. Couldn’t find him at all despite searching in all his hiding places over that period. He finally turned up but by that time his rear legs and tail wouldn’t work properly and he wanted to be indoors. It was late at night and the vet wouldn’t open until the morning. I covered him in a hot towel .. he was cold ..gave him water and he spent the night in the corner of my bedroom. The next morning he was unable to stand and was just laying on his side.

    The vet said there was nothing that could be done and she helped him go to sleep. I feel bad about agreeing. He was my friend but he was in a bad way.

    I miss him all the time .. he was just a plain moggy .. but he was loving and was with me when my mum and dad passed away. He knew when you were ill .. he knew when you were sad. He wanted comforting and we helped each other through the bad times. He missed my dad who passed away about 2 years ago.

    The funny thing is .. he choose us and just stayed for 17 years.

    I love him and miss him.

  • K

    I lost my beloved baby cat of almost 16 years on Labor Day. It was too soon–but then 50 years would have been too soon. To the person feeling guilty about keeping their cat one more day and then feeling they suffered. I nearly did the same myself–and them my guilt was that I gave up too soon when maybe I could have had one more day. So what I’m saying is you loved your baby and would have second guessed yourself in any case. I also thought my baby would live longer. Two days before he died, I knew he was aging and likely had liver or kidneys failing (he was seeing a vet, but they didn’t push extensive testing I believe now because they thought the trama of biopsy and attempted treatment would merely ruin the quality of life he currently had. It was a shock when I brought him to an emergency clinic on Labor day after a sleepless and clearly painful (but still eating and able to pee in his box) night to hear them say exactly how sick he was with anemia and high blood sugar – ketoacidosis, plus more complications – and that it was unclear he could even be stabilized, and then what of the underlying issues? Today I left work (I’m supposed to be working now!) to go for a walk, as it was the time I made the decision, only a week ago. In fact, in only a few minutes, I will have finished buring him, exactly a week ago today. The whole in my heart is huge–half of me wishes to fill it again immediately, the other half finds that repugnant, impossible. As I would say to him: “Love you always and forever. Love you fiercely, love you sweetly, love you completely.” Goodbye, my angel.

  • Kristin

    I’m sorry about your loss. My 9 year old Balinese passed away last night. He died from Methoprene poisoning from the Flea medicine Zodiac Spot On. I want to warn you all that flea medicines can be VERY dangerous, esp Zodiac. Please consult your vet before applying med to you beloved pet.

  • Vicki Maynard

    My cat died ll days ago and the day before she died I started to read the emails on this site. and they helped me alot. I had never seen a cat (or anythng for that matter) die in front of me. Angel was l8 years 4 months old and she was born in this house and very special to me. the past few months I knew this might be her last year. she was very thin, but ate and drank and played as always.. she couldnt find the litter box if she was sitting in it. but I adjusted for her and cleaned and spoiled her right to the end. the last 2 or 3 days she stopped eating and I knew. I fought having her euthanized.. Could not bring myself to do it. so I carried her in a baby blanket and washed her face and fur as she stopped grooming a while ago . took her outside and put her on the grass, she hadnt been outside in ages. she became an indoor cat years ago. That last night she was very sleepy , but the vet was not opened and while I comforted her I thought about calling the vet . I still wanted her to eat .so I left her in the room next to my bedroom with water, milk and food. and the next morning nothing was touched. (except maybe some water.) she popped her head up and I was truly surprised she was still in this world. she got up and walked about 10 feet and layed down. I picked her up and wrapped her in the baby blanket she liked and took her to the kitchen to wash her face.. She seemed to wait til I woke up that morning. I then took her to my bed and just talked to her and stroked her and made deals with God to take her quickly (it was truly in God’s hands as it was about 2 and a half hours before the vet would be open. I didnt really want to go to that option anyways. She died in front of me about 2 hours later after she woke me up. I am very thankful it was peaceful. Reading these emails really helped me to look for signs and she went really in about 30 seconds and I was very shocked she stiffened almost immediately. I , too , left her there on the floor wrapped in her blanket for a few hours , first to collect myself to bury her and then to make sure she really was dead.. but I knew. I will always miss her.. she was special.. I even have her brother , who is also l8 years old and 4 months old.

  • Rachael

    I had to have my kitty Zsu Zsa put to sleep yesterday, and I am absolutely devastated. A couple of weeks ago she started breathing heavily all the time. I took her to the vet and since it seemed like she had a hairball lodged in her, we tried some hairball medicine. It didn’t work. She became less playful, and the day before yesterday she just sat staring at me, as if she was trying to say “Mommy, I don’t feel good. Please do something.”

    Well, I took her back to the vet yesterday, and they took an X-ray which showed that her chest cavity was filled with fluid which was compressing her lungs, and she was only had about 10 percent lung capacity. They listed several things that could cause this, but none of them were going to have good outcomes. I could expect her to live another few weeks, maybe up to two years, but only with medications, and treatments, and constant trips to the vet, and probably some unpleasant procedures. I still can’t wrap my brain around the how or why this happened to her. I never expected to have to say goodbye so soon. After lots of crying and asking the vet a lot of questions, I decided that I needed to have her put to sleep. She was obviously very uncomfortable, though I couldn’t see any signs of her actually being in pain. I hope that she wasn’t in pain. I just didn’t want her last couple of weeks, months, or years to be spent with pills forced down her throat, and dozens of stressful vet visits and procedures.

    I pet her and talked to her for a while. They had her in an oxygen tank to make her more comfortable. When I took her out of it to hold her she started squeaking and gasping, and at that moment I knew that having her put down was the right decision. The vet came in and injected her with the anesthetic. She licked his hand while he did it. I was stroking her little head, and after just a few seconds she stood up and tried to walk, then she just passed out and collapsed. It was so quick, I wished that I had had just a few more seconds to pet her before she went.

    She was the sweetest cat I’ve ever met, and had such a quirky, goofy personality. She loved people so much, she always gave a lot of love to anyone who entered our home, whether they wanted it or not. I got her when I was going through some very hard times, and she really helped me to pull through them. She was truly my best friend for the past four years, and I hope she knows how much I loved her.

    I miss her so much right now, I simply did not have enough time with her. I can’t stop crying and it just hurts so much to know that I’ll never come through the front door again to see her sitting on the rug waiting for me to pick her up. Even the things that used to annoy me are now things that I’ll miss, like her waking me up in the middle of the night by licking my chin, or her laying in the middle of my fabric while I’m trying to sew something. My boyfriend put her food and water away so I wouldn’t have to see it, but I made him leave her basket of toys out. I know it sounds silly, but just in case her spirit comes to visit, I don’t want her to think that I’ve forgotten about her. No cat will ever replace her, but I am looking forward to the time when I’m ready to get a new kitty to love, because a house without a cat just feels so lonely. Reading everyone’s stories has made me feel a little better. Thank you all for sharing them, it helps to know that other people understand the heartache of losing a beloved pet.

  • Vicki Maynard

    Rachel, I know exactly what you mean.. how you miss ZsuZsu . I miss my Angel. I still think of her and it has been 2 weeks so far. I had her her whole life of l8 years plus. and boy was she spoiled and she isnt the only cat I have. but she was special.. when her mom Daisy had her and her 3 siblings all those years ago, I asked my husband for one of them and picked Sam, the brother who was literally born into my hand and then later we just didnt find a home for Angel.. She was always so sweet. So it doesnt matter how long you have had a cat.. if there is a connection there is a connection. I doubt there will ever be another Angel.. as I am sure you are saying the same thing about your ZsuZsu. .. they say it will get easier , time will heal.. I am still waiting. Angel had the LOUDEST purr.. the happier she was the louder she purred.. I miss that.. hopefully she is purring very loudly up there in kitty heaven, as she truly is an angel now.

  • debbie in NC

    My cat Snookie of 12 yrs. died suddenly last nite. I had noticed a spot of blood in front on his litter box. He started acting a little strangly the day before. He was hiding. I got him out and notice some more blood spots. When I picked him up he would cry as if he hurt in his lower body. I decided I would take him to the vet first thing Monday am. During this day he laid in front of the door in the warm sunshine, laid on the kitchen floor while I prepared supper. Snookie was a beautiful long hair orange tabby and proably weighed 25 lbs. I brushed his coat and he acted like it felt so good. Later on about 12:30 am he came into my room. He came over to me as I rubbed him and talked to him. He began heaving so I grabbed the trash can. He threw up a small amout of clear frothy liquid. He sat back and began licking his lips and began heaving again. I grabbed the trash can and then his head went back and he collapsed to the floor. His legs seem to stiffen and shake. I thought he was having a seizure. I called for my husband and he came running. Snookie just lay there eyes wide open laying very still. He was gone in just a second. I tried blowing small puffs of air in his mouth with no response. As he lay there still I rubbed his fur and could feel a lump about the size of a golfball in his stomach and this was difinitely not there the day before. Did he have a massive stroke or a heart attack? He didn’t make a sound so I don’t think he suffered. It was so quick. I cut some of his long hair to hair and wrapped him in a soft blanket. I am just so thankful he came to me his last minutes. I buried him the next am in a corner of our backyard underneath a cedar tree which I call the “Enchanted Forest where Moon Fairies live and they will keep a watch over my Snookie. I am still in shock over just how quickly it happened. I have wandered aimlessly around the house thinking he’s gonna come out and want to be rubbed. Snookie was my best friend. He had been sleeping beside me every nite for the last 3 mos. Do you suppose he knew he had so little time left? It’s gonna be so hard without him.

  • Jovana

    My cat Gligorce died this morning and he was verry young.1/2 years old a verry pretty kitty,dear,loving and lots of fun.He died od FUS and i am devistated by his death.1 month ago we notised that some thing was rong with him urinating.. he needed a lot of time to urine and there wasnt hardly a spot of urine,then he started bleeding and he recieved antibiotics untill we went to a vet clinic and they did a catherization.2 days after he didnt want to drink any water or food and he was depressed.Then he started bleeding tremendously.We were woried a lot and a vet saw him..he said he didnt look good.We gave him c vitamins antibiotics painkillers and fluid transfusion because he didnt had any water for 2 and a half days.That day he bleedet a lot and started vomiting some thing brown.He didnt look good i was panicing i couldnt do anything for my little kitty!! he was lying on my bad covered with a blanked and his head on a pillow.. he wanted to stand up a couple of times but no use he was bleeding to much and had no strainght left.He was really pale and he started crying loudly.. the morning he was still a live and we went to the vet trying to get a little bit of hope that he will be alright,but the vet said that his bladder is full and swallen and that he is in a lot of pain.Then we desided that we should cut his pains and send our kitty to a better place because he was shaking and it was just so sad for me to watch him go trough that.He recieved the injection and slowly he rested on my hand and then he just took a big breath and that was the moment my little Gigi died.He was still so beutifull.I loved him.. he was my friend,my companion,my brother.He was there to wait for me till i get home,make me company when i study,to cheer me up…I’m missing him already.My home is empty without him.I wonder where is he now.Such an energy and atittude like his cant just dissapear.His joyfullnes and soul must go somewhere.I have so many questions and i dont believe that i will have an answer.Gigi i love u so much and more than anything,u were my joy my relaxation,i will never ever forget u and nothing can replace u.I miss u!… i hope that i will see you someday somewhere.Till that day… I love you.

  • Ruvy in Jerusalem

    This happened to us when we were still living in the Merkaz Klita (absorption center) in Jerusalem in late September, 2001.

    The night before last one of the other residents of the Merkaz Klita, Moshe, stopped by to tell us that a small cat was laying injured on the sidewalk near a school. He asked me for the number of a veterinarian which I gave him readily. About ten minutes later Moshe returned telling me that all the veterinarians he had called except one refused to answer the phone, and that the one who had lived all the way in Beit haKerem, which is all the way across town toward the west, a cab ride away. He asked if I could come with him to Beit haKerem. Immediately, Avi wanted to come along. I shrugged my shoulders, put my shoes on and we went down to find the cat.

    When we got to the cat she was laying on the ground, her left leg obviously out of place I told Avi to get a couple of towels to wrap the cat in. When he returned a few minutes later, he set the towels on either side of the cat and spoke gently to it. Once the cat seemed convinced that Avi meant her no harm, she started to meow very loud with all her soul, her pain coming out very clear. I went off to hail a cab while Moshe looked for a box to put the cat in. A few minutes later, all was ready. All that was lacking was the cabbie. By the time one came, the cat was very weak and some boys had told us she had been bitten by a dog.

    It was 11:30 at night by the tine the cab got to Beit haKerem. The vet lived at the end of a road called Sha’ár haGai. He was outside waiting for us. Moshe laid a hundred shekel note on the cup holder and the vet told the cabbie to wait. I waited with the cabbie. I could see Avi, Moshe and the vet in the vet’s house. After some minutes, Moshe went outside with Avi, I think to explain to him that the vet had to put the cat the sleep.

    Some minutes after that, the vet gave the cat a shot so that it wouldn’t suffer any more. Avi and Moshe came back without the cat, both silent. Avi started to cry. There were tears on Moshe’s face. I told Avi that he had done a good deed, a mitzva, comforting a cat so that it would not die abandoned in the street. I told him this was a mitzva of a high order – bringing comfort to the dying. I don’t think it consoled him any, but I was very proud of my youngest boy that night.

    It was almost one in the morning when we returned to the Merkaz Klita. I had to get up early and go to the doctor by nine a.m., the day before Yom Kippur.

  • Caroline and Chris

    Our cat, Lily, got hit by a car 2 nights ago and we are blaming ourselves. We knew it was going dark outside and we stood in the kitchen saying “Should we let her out or not?” We decided to as she has been out before. When I got up yesterday morning, I went out to the shed to call her in, and she wasn’t there. I went out looking for her, and she had been placed on some grass by the side of the road. There was no blood and she looked quite peaceful. She was our baby – only 14 months old, and we miss her terribly. I have been crying for 2 days and haven’t been able to go to work. Everything in the house reminds me of Lily- her bed, food bowl, litter tray, toys. I also keep finding her white hair, as she was a semi-longhair. Everytime I see it I cry more.
    Our other cat Poppy knows something is wrong and keeps meowing. I never expected to feel as upset as I do but she was part of the family I guess.
    We buried her last night in our garden, wrapped in her favourite towel, with some cat nip, treats, a letter I’d written about how much we loved her and a stick that she used to play fetch with. My husband has said that we are not replacing her until we can move somewhere away from a road, and live in a big enough house so that a new cat could stay indoors. I agree, although I just feel so desparate at the moment, I would go and get a replacement straight away. I know this would be the wrong thing to do- I need time to grieve for Lily properly. Reading the other messages on here has been comforting in a small way – to see that I am not alone in feeling so depressed and sad.


    My little cat named Baby died suddenly on Saturday, September 29, 2007. She was fine up until Friday when she refused to eat and was very weak, I took her to the emergency clinic. The doctor examined her and said she had a large mass and he wanted to put her to sleep immediately. I asked if she would live until morning and he said yes but she wouldn’t make the week. So I watched her all night, she seemed to be able to sleep and then I took her to my own vet in the morning. My vet said we should do tests, she agreed it was a tumor but did an ultrasound and felt it was operable. However she was too weak and they need to know the results of the aspiration. So they sent her home with me. They had given her an antibiotic and steroids and an appetite stimulant. They even got her to eat a can of food before she left. Well I got her home at 2 and she got worse with every hour. She started to try and hide, something she wasn’t doing earlier. Around 7:30 I picked her up and she cried. I held her and she cried maybe 4 more times and died by 9:00. It was the worst experience of my life. I only had her around four years but she was a big part of my life. I still don’t know what happened, did the tumor kill her. I really believe there is a heaven for cats and I know she is there.

  • cathy

    Just wanted to sincerely thank you all for writing of your experiences with the loss of your cats. Our beloved 22 year old cat just died (as peacefully as could be expected) about an hour and a half ago. Her death was expected, actually overdue, so I was reading all your comments, trying to find descriptions of the dying process while she lay on blankets in a box by my side. I intend to add my own somewhat clinical-sounding description of her death sometime in the near future, but right now, the tears well up, and I’m just, so tired.
    When an animal dies, its soul returns to the potency of matter, as per Church teaching. This is because their life force given by the Creator is not ordered to heaven. Our eternal souls, however, are called to an eternal destiny.
    Animals are mentioned many times in the Scriptures, but the one that comes to mind right now is the one about “not one sparrow falls without the Father,” and “you are worth more than many sparrows.” His Will encompasses even our beloved pets!
    I trust that God will send His comfort to us in our losses, and that we will comprehend all the mysteries of His Divine Plan when we reach heaven.
    “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord!” May He guide us in this vale of tears!

  • Paul

    Murphy died two nights ago. He was 20 years old and was a loyal friend. He loved to sit only on my lap to be stroked continually. He loved to go outdoors and had a good life, with lots of love, good food, and good care. What more can one expect from life? But losing him is very hard, and I will miss him very, very much. Months ago he started drinking more water than usual, but he had no other problems. Then he began to have some stiffness in his rear legs. This slowly got worse and worse, but he continued to eat well and maintained his daily routines. Then he got worse faster with his stiffness in his rear legs, and he weakened. He sometimes stumbled when he walked. We assumed it was kidney failure and that nothing could be done for him at his age. Then he stopped eating or drinking water. Two days later, finally, he could not walk. I laid him in his bed, and soon I realized he was dying. I stayed with him every minute, from about 9:30 PM. He would lift his head and look at me when I came close. Numerous times as he lay there he would weakly moan or meow, and each time I would gently stroke his head and talk to him. He may not have heard me because he was deaf, but I talked to him anyway. I put a cloth over him to keep him warm. This continued all evening, but he grew weaker and weaker. Yet, he always responded to my presence. I noticed that his eyes were dilated, and they did not respond to a bright flashlight. But he held on, meowing occasionally after which I would pet him and talk to him. The last time he meowed, they were two, more gentle meows. Then he began taking sudden sporadic breaths, and I knew the end was near. By now he was perhaps in a coma, but his eyes were open. This continued for maybe 5 minutes. Then he took another big gasp of air and quietly exhaled in a sigh, and he was dead. It was 12:45 the next morning. It was actually quite peaceful, but I was heartbroken. My devoted friend of 20 years was gone. I closed his eyes and left him in the restful position in which he died. I went to bed, and in the morning he was completely stiff and rigid. I dug a grave and buried him. It was hard. He was almost 21 years old, but I wonder if he actually had kidney failure. He had no other symptoms except a moderately increased thirst and stiff rear legs. Should we have taken him to the veterinarian when this first occurred? Otherwise, at age 20, he was very healthy. Can anyone advise me on this? I am curious.

  • Tommy

    My little Joe Joe passed yesterday about 24 hours ago. 4 days ago he just stopped eating and developed sores in his mouth. So I tool him to the vet immediately and as a result my 6 year old Joe had suffered from chronic kidney failure. He was the best kittie and loved everyone. He was very vocal and would greet me as I came home. If I called him he would come running no matter what was going on. The little guy loved to go to bed and kneed my chest and purr. This purr was with him until the end. He had an endless ability to love and care for all that were around him. I elected to take him to the hospital to attempt to clean his system out with IV fluids and get his blood levels up. The vet did an awesome job of taking care of the infection due to not eating and hydrating him. On Saturday I picked him up and he was very swollen. Apparently the IV fluids could not get him restarted. Litle Joe Joe loved Christmas Trees so yesterday i brought him to the living room and called the vet to come over to put him to rest. His breathing was laboring and i knew it was time. As Joe Joe laid on the couch looking at the lights blinking he started throwing up fluids. The vet could not make it to the house until 6 PM. At 3:50 my little buddy meowed and then purred a second… He then started to convulse and run away. His little back arched trying to breath… his eyes widened into what I consider a feral cat look. At this point i just knew the soul of my little Joe Joe was departing and that what I was looking at was the former shell of the animal and kitten that I never knew before he came to me in the size of my hand. The domestioc loving animal that loved me un-conditionally was long gone. He started to growl and his eyes widened and his mouth opened trying to fight death. I was with him even in his “feral” state kissing his cheek and telling him that I loved him so much. This little animal brought so much love to me and my girlfriend. We both miss him sooo much. I believe he had a beautiful soul and someday would like to enjoy his company again. Thank you for allowing people to write and vent there losses on this site. It does help to talk about the loss. This animal was loved so much and will really be missed. Words

  • Chris

    My cat, Moses, died yesterday morning before I wne to work. He was 17. Up until the day before yesterday, he was fine. Then he was doing wierd things the night before he died. Barely moving, not eating or drinking.

    I let him sleep on my coat, then yesterday morning, I took him outside to lay him in his bead. I layed him down, he scratched at his head a couple times, took a few breaths, and was gone.

    Long haired…medium grey, with a ‘Milk mustache’. He would have been a perfect spokescat for the milk commercials.

    Sorry to read about everybody elses losses!! I know how you all feel. 🙁

  • Hector

    Today at 11PM my cat Sam died of Respiratory Failure.

    Sam wasn’t our cat, he just one day in March came to our door and let us stroke him etc… We believe he was the previous owners pet who left him here but we lived in the house 4 years and he never came then. We let him in gave him food groomed him, gave him a collar and all the regular things until it became a natural routine.

    On Christmas Eve and Day the cat was absolutely fine, we bought him expensive food and made him very comfortable, one of the best memories I will ever had with him.

    2 days ago he came to our house and just ate a little and slept the whole day, this was strange and from then on, I began to think something was wrong although nothing was done. He left at night and did not return the next day, until today at 4PM where he did not meow when he saw me, he just walked strange and went straight to bed making a noise when he breathed. I immediately took him to a Vet and they took an X-Ray showing he had some sort of Respiratory problem with a fluid collection inside his lungs. They kept him there while I got home and at 11PM the news came that he had died due to a tumor on his lung.

    I am sitting here crying and feeling like a piece of myself is missing from me, and I finally came up with the conclusion that we didn’t adopt him. He adopted us. He was only 10 years old when he died and we gave him the best year of his life when he was abandoned, we took him in when nobody else would and Im glad that I got to meet him since in my opinion he has been the perfect cat.

    I will never forget him I’m just regretting I never got to say goodbye when I gave him to the vet thinking he would be better.

    Thank you for your time. Hector

  • leah mccall

    My little baby Gizmo past away on Thursday 29 around 10:30am

    He was only 8months old but we had bonded so much that he was well and truly my little baby. I woke up to a chap at my door. My mum answered it. I got up wondering who it was and my mum was nowhere 2 be found in the house. I went outside to see where she went. There I found my mum holding my little baby in her arms in a towel. I couldn’t believe my eyes. My upstairs neighbour had found him lying on the pavement outside our house. He had been knocked down. I honestly thought I was dreaming! How could this happen to such a small innocent young kitten? I miss him so much. I will miss all of our wee snuggles first thing in the morning. I will miss his wee kisses I will miss all of him. Every time I think of him I cant stop myself crying! No cat or kitten will take the place of him as my first baby.
    I love you gizmo so much and I will miss you loads n loads x x x x x x

  • Therese

    It’s so good to read everybody’s comments and to see that we all go through the same thing – grief. I lost one of my friends last night too. She’d had kidney problems for years.
    I lost my beautiful seventeen year old Cutie Pie in June. She had terrible sun cancers and other cancers on her face. I put her down and then I felt like I’d betrayed her – I felt so guilty. I decided that next time I would just be there and give my friends support and time while they die.

    So Rosie died yesterday by herself, and I sat with her. It is hard though. I found this site because I was trying to look up what it feels like to have a seizure. She had a few just before she died.

    I’ve loved and lived with two dogs and four cats now – I still have one cat with me. One thing I’ve realised is that I’m going to feel guilty no matter what I do, because it’s part of the grieving process – especially with pets for whom we believe we are responsible.
    Also, I’ve realised that if I’m trying to do the right thing,there’s no wrong way, but some ways are more appropriate in certain situations than others.
    Reading what everyone has to say, it’s clear that there have been many loved cats and I’m sure they knew it!
    I took Rosie on when she was 12 and I knew that she already had kidney problems. She was 1/2 stray so had to learn a lot about living with a human. I realised at the end how much she loved me, too. There can be a lot of intimacy in those last weeks, days, hours.

  • Rich

    Some really nice, heart-felt stories here – I think it’s important to air your thoughts and read how others have been in similar situations with their cats…

    Our family cat (Boots) had escaped death a few times in the last two years but a few days ago her time was up. She died suddenly, but it was expected, as at 19yrs old (an estimate, as she was an orphan), she wasn’t getting any younger.

    She had survived a suspected stroke a few years ago and apparently suffered temporary blindness as a result (or the vet wasn’t that great) but we thought she wouldn’t survive that…as she was literally a zombie for about 3/4 days and had stopped eating. Somehow, she pulled through into a complete recovery.

    Then, a year ago she suffered kidney failure, lost weight/stopped eating/drinking and we rushed her to the vets. Prepared for the worst, the vet suggested a drip and some relatively new kidney medication. Astoundingly, she again pulled through and returned to full health, albeit with new medicine to take and a special diet. It seems kidney failure isn’t enough to stop cats these days!

    However, just before Christmas the same happened again. Prepared to put her down, we gave the drip one final try (as it had worked well before and the vet suggested it) and she survived 4 days at the vets before coming back. Steroids were used to control her runny bowel movements and to encourage appetite and she put on LOTS of weight before and just after Christmas. In fact, she returned to great form for Christmas and for that, I’m thankful indeed! However, there was a suspected stomach tumour and she was aneamic..

    So last week, well, she was fine – so fine we opted to avoid another stressful vet trip – and instead left her to it. The only warning was her not eating properly the day before she died, however she DID eat the morning she left us, oddly. However, we found her an hour after she had been fed. She had been very sick and a suspected tumour/ulcer in her stomach may have ruptured, causing lots of blood loss from both ends. We found her just breathing, but eyes wide open but not responsive and her body had already started to become rigid. We carefully stroked her, then slowly put her into her basket to take to the vet – however I think at that point, she made a few last sounds/gasps and that was it. It was horrible, but i’m glad she died at home rather then having to be put down.

    She will be hugely missed and I just wish i’d spent more time with her during those last few days… :/

  • Heidi

    There’s a lot of love on this blog. We lost our 2.5 yo torty, Popsicle, yesterday. She was very independent, true to her breed. She was primarily an outdoor cat, but we tried to keep her indoors at night. She just adopted us about 1.5 years ago, pregnant. We helped her raise her kittens, and ended up keeping one, a female named Gary!

    Poppy was only 5 pounds, and small. In the last week her behaviour had changed. She was staying indoors a lot more, and we thought it was because of the cold. A few days ago she was insatiably hungry. Then she really didn’t eat, and started losing clumps of hair. She was fine 2 days ago, became very lethargic that evening, and died during the night.

    I cried all day at work. I feel so guilty. She died alone, and with her eyes open. I simply have no idea what happened to her. She was a beautiful, friendly, loving animal, and we will miss her forever.

  • Matt

    Going to keep this so short. But I’m 26 in a week’s time. I lost my gorgeous little cat yesterday. She was 24 years old. I am sure my first memory is getting her from a Cat protection charity. I miss her so much. She’s watched me grow from a child to a fully grown man. She’s seen me from primary school and now I’m a qualified solicitor. I’m going to miss her forever. I know the pain will go. I’ll never forget her. But I worry I’ll forget all the little things, like her meow or her soft fur. Proper sucks.

  • We just lost our cat, Shadow, today. She would be 20 in May. She hadn’t been eating the past few days and she looked very thin. She was having trouble walking and her eyes looked very glassy. We were on our way to the Vets when she died in my son’s arms. She was with us when our children were growing up, during all the special milestones. We are close to being empty nesters now, and losing Shadow is closing the door on a very special time of our lives.

  • Myra

    I lost my cat Pumpkin yesterday. She was 17 years old and very frail. She was a wonderful companion to me for a very long time. I hoped to have her at home when she died.

    She had kidney failure with excessive thirst for 2 yrs. She was sick for a couple days. I thought it was a stomach ache. But when she woke up in the morning she didn’t move much and began crying out in pain. She had a very messy and painful death which she fought to the very end. It only lasted less than 15 minutes but it seemed forever. She threw up blood looking like coffee grounds and collapsed and tried a couple times to get up but couldn’t.

    Even with that hard death it felt better than when I brought a cat in to the vet. to put to sleep. I didn’t have to make that choice for her.

    A few nights before she was overly affectionate to me and it just seems now like she was saying thanks, she loved me and would see me again. She will be in my heart forever.

  • george and kandy

    Our little buddy Eclipse is dying, he has liver cancer which we just learned about. My husband found in in our front yard maple tree ten years ago and he was only bid enough to stay in my husband hand. He has been our baby (little guy) ever since. We have had several other cats but this one has had a huge impact on both of us. We seem to cry more and only pray that he will pass in his sleep. He is not eating, losing weight and want to be alone.. We are praying that God allows him to pass at home. My prayers and heartfelt condolences goes to everyone who lost or is losing a pet.. They are our children and they love unconditionally. May God Be with our baby Eclipse when he passes.

  • george and kandy

    Our little boy Eclipse passed at 6 am this morning in our bedroom (his favorite place) with my husband and I holding and petting him..the last cry and the look in his eyes will always haunt me..I felt I was letting him down even though God had answered our prayers and allowed him to die with us there and not in pain. Is it not amazing what impact little pets have on us..we know he is in Heaven and God will pet him each night for us..At this time we are determined not to have another cat because we do not want to feel as we are replacing him…I am not a religious person but we know God is now taking care of him. We buried him in our backyard under a tree he would always run up and the area where he hid his kill. Thank you all for listening and may God be with you and your little ones

  • Jenny

    I stumbled upon this thread and I would love any personal experience/insite on this type of thing. We just got a kitten on the 13th from the shelter, she was spayed before we could bring her home. SHe died last night on the 17th. SHe was never really active even when we first looked at her. When she came home she was the same. SHe became more lethargic and last night She vomited yellow a couple times. From then it was Very apperent somethingwas wrong. Labored breathing, she wouldnt move or even sit up. I calle dthe vet he said to bring her in the am, well we didnt make it. I dont understand it!! It apperently could have been any number of ailments or infection. I had a cat that I bottle fed since she was 2 weeks old and had her till she stopped eating, drinkinbg, bathroom, etc and got very thin. We put her to sleep at 14 years old. This was in july and now in feb, having akitten not even a week and she died! I’m so devisted!!! I cared for her, held her and did everything I thought I could for her. I took a bath last night as she lay next to me by her bed. I didnt have my glasses on so I could only see her outline. I herd her little bell and what I thought was her moving/playing on the floor. Al the while she was laying there dying! Probbaly was having convultions or sezures. I got out of the bath picked her up to put her back in bed and she was limp and her mouth was open and so were her eyes. I lost it! I cant frigging bealieve it. Has anyone had this happen?? I dont know what to do. I was ready to get another kitty after having my baby for 14 years and this happens?!! Life is so cruel… why

  • MJL

    I read this thread up to comment 20, which was short, like life can seem sometimes.
    My cat, Tigger, just passed away in my arms 2 hours ago.
    I liked the comment from the secular humanist.
    I too place my faith in nature and science and have no belief system beyond that which is proven.
    For those of you who have a difficult time dealing with loss without a reason or belief system, I offer you my own personal comfort, as I do to everyone. At the moment we have it kind of rough, and theres no ritual for a scientist or atheist when it comes to dealing with the loss of a loved one or pet. To me, Tigger was a part of the greatness of life. I feel kind of bad about leaving him with my mother for a year while I traveled. During that time she had him neutered which I feel horrible about.
    One of my thoughts about life and afterlife is that people want their to be an afterlife because they don’t want this thing to end. When the truth is it doesn’t end because we reproduce. THAT is the amazing thing about life. That we have gone from reproducing molecules to reproducing strands of molecules, to reproducing cells, to reproducing collections of cells to reproducing organisms. I stressed reproduction because it is our immortality. It is our life before our life and our life after our death.
    Tigger did not have the chance to reproduce before he passed away and I feel bad about that. Nothing would have made me happier than to look at his kittens right now and see that little spark of him staring back at me.

    That’s the most beautiful thing in the world. The children of life today will be the life of tomorrow, forever.
    So for those of you that don’t have some belief system that makes death ok. I hope my perspective on the world of nature, life and reproduction have given you something. As life I would like to remind you that you are life too. We are alive. When Tigger was alive he was the closest life form to me. Over the last 16 years I have spent more time with him than any other lifeform. I loved him. I don’t know if any animals besides humans care about love, but I know they care about staying alive. I kept Tigger alive and what he gave me in return, it felt a lot like love.
    We are not seperate from the dead, we are composed of the dead. So either there is no death, or their is no life. We are the living Earth of the Universe. I hope this helps some of you. Some of you have helped me. You helped your cats live their lives, thank you for that. Because we are all the Earth I would like to tell you, I will miss you Tigger. If I did anything wrong, I’m sorry. None of the things you did that made me mad mean a thing compared to my love for you.

  • MJL

    Jenny, I am sorry I didn’t read your comment before posting my own. Please don’t give up. Cats are amazing creatures and they can endure a lot. I’m dorry your kitten didn’t make it. I’m not sure any advice can help. When Tigger died I thought about everything, everything that I did in the last year or so that could have lead to this. For awhile, I smoked heavily, I stopped a month ago for our sake. If my smoking took even a second off of Tiggers life I feel bad. I was sure he would live to be over 20 at least. After hearing about how cats COULD live 30 years. I thought Tigger would live 20 easy. Also on Saturday, 2 days ago, the boiler broke and the house had no heat. It was 10°F Saturday night and 20°F last night, outside. It got down to about 50 here in the house. I was wrapped in blankets at night and clothes in the day I didn’t think it was that bad. The repairman fixed the boiler at 7 am today and at 8 am I heard my cat howling under the bed. He was crying and gagging a bit. I looked at him for a few minutes trying to decide if I should pull him out or let him stay under there. Finally I decided that my body heat might help if the cold was the problem so I pulled him out from under the bed, he moaned a lot in the process. His body was so limp even then. Instead of getting up I put him on my chest and laid on my back for a second. Trying to decide what to do with him. Finally I got up and went to the couch and let him rest on my lap. My mother showed up after 15 minutes. She works with elderly people so I figured if ever there was a time she could give me some advice it would be at that moment. For awhile she had thought maybe the cat had injected poison, but I could tell by holding him in my arms that something worse was going on… worse. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know why hes dead right now all I know is he was 16 years old, I was a smoker for awhile and it was a cold night last night and cats have higher body temperatures than humans and need to be warmer. Thats why they love to sit in the sun and hate the water, it’s all about the warmth. They get wet they get cold very fast, they don’t like that. They aren’t used to it. Sometimes I get so mad when I see people bathing cats in water… I’m sorry.

    In 1995 I did what I think was probably the worst thing I have ever done to Tigger. He loved to try whatever I was eating, all his life, right up until last night when I was eating a submarine sandwich, he was right next to me waiting for a bite. Well, in 1995, I was eating some mexican food with tobasco on it and I noticed when he caught a wiff of the tobasco that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I was a teenager and stupid and decided to find out what would happen if I gave him some tobasco. So I put a drop on my finger and grabbed him and put my finger in his mouth. He flipped out and started foaming… just like he did before he just died. It made me feel bad to see him die like that just now. Back then, in 95, when I gave him the tobasco, he ran like crazy. and hid under the table and I watched while he moaned at me and foamed at the mouth. This morning it was horrible to watch him die. He thrashed about like a drunkard stumbling and twitching. I did not give him any tobasco sauce! If anyone reading this is wondering. I didn’t even think of the similarity until now. I feel like I am to blame for his death. For the last year I have told my friends I thought it was amazing how he lived past 15. They couldn’t believe me, I guess their cats didn’t live that long. I got the sense that they thought cats lives 10-12 years. I was so proud of him for the last year, living this long. While I smoked each day and fead him pieces of fattening foods. I should have cleaned his litter box more often too. Sometimes I would let the shit build up in there for a couple weeks until the smell was a bother to me. So selfish of me. I loved him though. I know it got really cold in this house and I loved when he meowed besided my chair so I would turn to face him, moving my hands off the leyboard and my arm down. It was then he saw the chance to jump on my lap and enjoy my warmth. I would enjoy his company for 15-20 minutes then start surfing the net again or playing games and eventually I would want my space back and ask him to get off in various ways. Sometimes I even tricked him to get off my lap by acting like I was getting up to go to the bathroom or the kitchen. He knew when those times were and would just leap of respectfully. After I tricked him a few times I’d say “Psyche, gotcha” or somethin to em, to let him know I’d tricked em or I’d act like I’d changed my mind. So wierd the amount of respect I showed him based on his casual attitude about things. I can easily see why the Egyptians worshipped cats, not completely of course but in the time I have spent with various cats, especially Tigger, I have learned a lot about them. I do kinda of admire their attitudes. Yeah, it’s going to be hard to take in another cat after Tigger. I’m almost 30 now and another kitten would last into my 40s, one after that maybe into my 60s, if they both live full lives. I’m trying to think of all the great times I had with Tigger, but all that means so little right now in comparison to the fact that he just died and something was wrong or he’d have lived into his 20s. I could have given him more life somehow.

  • Actually, MJL, a cat’s life expectancy is about 15 years, so I don’t think it’s necessarily anything you missed or could have done. It’s a rare cat that lives into its twenties. The oldest verified age for a cat was 37, but such ancient cats are extreme rarities.

    Cats can’t tell you that they’re sick and sometimes you only find out about their illness by accident. One of mine has thyroid and kidney disease and I only found out because I took him to the vet for some behavior problems. Apart from losing a little weight he still looks in the prime of health (he’s 13).

    As unthinkable as it may seem right now, I hope you do get another cat. A house just isn’t a home without one!

    My deepest sympathy for your loss.

  • Derrick Owen

    Hello. I just lost my cat today and iam having so much trouble dealing with his loss. He came into my life 9 years ago when my dad brought him home from the shelter for my sister. Sandy never fit the sterotype of a cat that i had in mind, he was the complete opposite. He would beckon when called, let me sister who was 6 at the time push him in a stroller, curl up at the feet of any stranger, he would sleep out in the yard and a riding lawn mower wouldnt budge him. I could go on for days about my special friend. The hard part was that i moved out of my parents house 3 years ago, so i maybe saw him once a month because of the distance. I had went with my fiance to go see my parents new house, pickedup my mom up and went to the new house and first started talking about how would sandy get acclimated. We then came home and i found him curled up in his bed that was a litter box turned penthouse. I went to pet him and called his name and i just knew. My best friend is gone and i cant deal with his death. I still cant believe it and would really like to hear from someone that could give me the hope of seeing him again oneday. He was so amazing that i will never be able to replace him and i will never get another cat. He was the only one for me. This is coming from someone who could care less about the species 9 years ago. Thanks for reading. I love you Sandy!

  • kandy

    Derrick My heart goes out to you and your loss of your best friend Sandy..we lost our little buddy Eclipse two weeks ago and he had only been sick a short time with liver cancer..he slept in my vette on my lap and also came when I called, he would follow me upstairs everynight at bedtime I like you am still having tears wondering if I could have saved him (even though we did everything humanly and medically possible) I too wonder if it will get better and somehow I know he is looking down at us all the time and his spirit is with me…I know Sandy is doing the same for you and meowing to tell you everything is okay. Each night I ask God to pet him for me and I know he is waiting for us. I also will never get another cat because he was our child as Sandy was yours. Remember God needed an ANGEL the moment our little ones left us Still the loss is tremendous May God Bless you and I know Sandy is smiling down at you as Eclipse is doing also and laying at the feet of God Death seems impossible to handle..it will get better for all of us is we keep remembering the GOOD THINGS AND THE LOVE WE GAVE AND ESPECIALLY THE LOVE THEY GAVE TO US.

  • Jo

    I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life last saturday (1st March). I had to decide to have my beloved gorgeous ginger stripey cat Zack put down. The vets tried everything to save him and we thought he would pull through as it started out that he only had a bladder blockage. It turned out after days of trying everything to stop him getting blocked up again and to save his kidneye that he had a ruptured urethra. The vet said we had no choice as with humans they can fix this but in cats its just not possible. I was devastated and made the hard decision to be with him when we let him go. He was already under anesthetic so he would’nt have felt pain or had to look at me (that would have been so hard). I felt I was cutting his life short (he was only 11). I loved him so much and I told him that and kissed him. You might think I am soppy but he was special to me and like my best friend to a degree. I just hope he understands why we had to do it and that it was out of love. If I could have saved him I would have. I kick myself everyday for losing him and feel so angry that someone has taken my little guy away. Sorry to go on I just need to get this out. I guess what set it off today was the vets bill coming through made it seem so clinical. I know I will get over this but I miss him so much.


  • Marcia L. Neil

    For Christ’s sake, if you really want them to live give them an original name.

  • chris

    Just reading some of these comments are making me cry and feel comfort at the same time. My 14 year old cat passed away this morning. She has been declining for the past week. A year ago she was diagnosed w/diabetes and at the same time she had a dime sized sore on her rear end. The vet wasn’t concerned w/it so we dealt w/the diabetes. By August the sore was now size of half dollar. We had surery and discovered she had adenocarcinoma. The vet believed he got it all but stated this type of cancer usually grows back. From August until just 2 months ago she was doing great. Then the cancer grew back and just in a short amount of time developed into about the size of a human fist. The prognosis this time was heartbreaking. The vet wouldn’t operate this time because is was now a solid deep tissue tumor too close to the rectal and urinary tract. I told the vet that I would go w/quality of life and at any time she showed signs of pain or suffering I would put her down. She continued to do great until this past Saturday. She went into hypoglycemic shock and after rushing her to the vet she snapped out of it after just 2 minutes of treatment. But when she came home, she wasn’t the same cat. She was barly eating, drinking here and there. I decided to put her down tomorrow. I think in her own way she knew and wanted to die at home. It was a long battle, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Too many times over the past month I have heard oh just put her down. It’s sad because animals are like family, they love us and the only thing they want back is our love. For all the people that shared their stories I want to say thank you and wish you all the best.

  • maya

    My cat Kandy was diagnosed with Fibro Sarcoma Cancer in november 2007 she was only 6 1/2 years old. I took her into the vets office for a scab on her chin and he said it was a skin infection. He put Kandy on a 2 week antibiotic. 1 week into giving her the medication i noticed a big lump on her shoulder. I was so scared i took her to the vet again and he said he needed to operate to see what it is. 1/2 hour into the operation he called me up and said it doesn’t look good. He could only remove 90% of her tumor because the other 10% are wrapped around her muscles. He did a biopsy and sure enough it was cancer. Fibro means the cancer has vines that will spread all over her body he said. and it comes from being vaccinated. I didn’t believe that because the last time i had her vaccinated was in 2002. Two month later the tumor grew even bigger. I tried to put her through another surgery and he said he couldn’t because there wasn’t enough skin on her body to close her back up. I had her on pain medication untill the time had come to put my precious Kandy to sleep. It was one of the hardest things i had to endure in my life. I put her down on 3/8/08 and i stayed with her untill she took her last breath. I took my Kandy and i gave her such a beautiful memorial and i burried her with a plaque made in her honor. I love her so-so much and i miss her everyday. I couldn’t underdstand why i couldn’t close her eyes when they froze wide open. I also couldn’t understand why her tongue came out of her mouth. Does anyone have any answers for me?, because i keep having nightmares about opening up her coffin and checking her eyes to see if they closed or not and to see if her tongue was still out. I miss my baby, she will forever be in my heart. I feel with all of you who had to go through this, it is very hard to let go!

  • Bret Barry

    Found this doing a search for cat death and depression and just had to write something, anything, for some kind of closure. Two years ago a stray was hanging around my neighborhood and I started to feed it… at first he would keep very distant while I put food out, but over time he didn’t mind me getting closer until he started to let me pet him (pulled away many times at first).

    I made a box for the cat with one entrance/exit with some insulation and a cushy pad. He spent his first winter outside in that box. This was also when I first noticed that he was either deaf or hard of hearing; he only noticed me when he felt vibrations on the porch.

    By the second winter (2007-2008) he would come in and rush downstairs and hang around for about six hours, and on some of the colder nights I let him sleep in but I had him sleep outside on many cold nights without cleaning the box or seeing if it was wet inside from the cat’s paws.

    A few days (morning of March 18, Tuesday) ago I woke up and my father said he had noticed the body of a dead animal in the backyard. I looked but the fur seemed darker and I thought it might be a raccoon or a cat dead from lack of food. When I went outside the first thing I noticed there was a collar on the neck, and it was the exact same flea collar I just had put on my mow (my cat’s nickname) a few days ago. The legs were twisted like they had been broken and there was a little bit of blood on the ground and I realized in that moment that it was my mow. The feeling I had in that moment was probably one of the worst I’ve ever had.. a mix of shock and anguish. One of his eyes was still open.

    I was distressed and confused and wondered if it was disease but noticed my mow’s tracks were accompanied by larger prints, those of a dog (you can tell from the nails).

    I dug a grave by the backyard garage and when I finally had to put gloves on and pick up my dead cat I finally broke down and freaked. I’m 21 and a male and I haven’t cried for some time but cried and screamed a few times. It was even worse when I carried the body which felt bloated and put it in the grave. I poured the first shovel-full of dirt over the body but felt so awful for it that I reached down and started to take the dirt off. I resolved myself eventually though and finished burying my cat. I put a stake in the dirt and mud to mark the grave.

    I fed the cat twice a day (wet food in the late afternoon and dry food at night) but out of my laziness I often left up to 10 paper plates with food that had dried that my cat didn’t eat. I would also open the flap to the box until the cat became comfortable with that.

    I think that what I really made was a situation where you have a cat that is mostly deaf in a dark box unable to see anything with the smell of food coming from the area in front of the box. The box has one large entrance/exit… perfect for a mean, blood-hungry dog to stick it’s head in.

    The worst part is that my cat died a few days before the first day of spring.. and I can’t help but wonder if the dog shook him like a rag-doll and left him bleeding there on the snow. I even regret how I buried him now, in a shit grave off to the side of a garage with nothing else in it.

    I am not a very religious person and I cannot stand the thought that his life is already over. I didn’t know his age but he couldn’t be more than 8. And now I have to wonder if his essence is gone forever, and now it’s just a dead body laying in the earth.

    I don’t mean to depress anyone reading this but I suppose this serves as my universal apology to my cat for not protecting him and making him sleep outside in temperatures of 32 degrees to 40 degrees at best. I miss him so much and if there is a better place for animals, then I hope he’s happy there.

    I love you mow and I’m so sorry.

  • Elle

    My beautiful cream-colored persian Foxy just died this morning. I noticed him lose weight but no difference with his behavior. A couple of weeks ago he sprayed brownish urine. Last night, my mom called and asked me to come home tomorrow cause Foxy didn’t look too well. My mom said Foxy let out a loud cry, my other 3 persians were surrounding him and he was hiding in the bathroom. I read cats know when they’re dying and they hide to do it quietly to spare their owner the pain of watching them die. I made my mom let me hear him meow on the phone and I burst into tears when I heard his cry cause I felt his pain and I knew tomorrow would be too late. It was a holiday and past midnight so I called a couple of vets’ emergency number but no luck. I kept trying on the way home and when I got home my heart broke to see Foxy lying lifeless with his mouth open with foam, eyes dillated, and barely breathing. I was screaming and crying. When I held him, he let out a small meow to acknowledge my presence, and that was his last meow. I kept trying to call the vet even if I knew Foxy wouldn’t make it to the vet. He was still breathing, I kissed him on the head and held him, a few minutes later, he stopped breathing. My mom said he just waited for me. I held him for almost an hour and I couldn’t let go. I blame myself for not taking him to the vet earlier. It’s the most painful thing I’ve had to go through.

  • Nicola

    My almost 5 month old kitten Bella got killed this morning on the road. I loved her so so so much she was my most favourite cat. Her head must have went under the wheel. She was the best cat ever… she will be dearly missed by every one of us.

  • Lana

    My cat, Scandal, died today. Atleast I found her today… the weather had turned cold over night. The day before it was in the high 70’s. I found her lying in the mulch near the front porch. I just pray that she laid down there during the warm weather and died peacefully in her sleep. I couldn’t bare the thought of her being out there in the cold weather. She was 18 and had beein in failing health. She would normally stay in our garage up on a bench on her cat mat. I pray she didn’t suffer. I have been crying all day…The day before she came to me screaming.. not really a meow but more of a scream. I knew then she was going to die soon… I just didn’t know it would be later that night… My two small children and I sat on our sidewalk and petted her for about 30 minutes.. so atleast I feel like I got to spend som quality time with her right before she died. She seemed to have lost weight almost overnight….I knew it was the end.. I just hope her passing was peaceful.. I feel so bad and sad…She, too had been through so much with me… my little Scandal! I love you and will miss you forever!

  • shawney

    hey guys, i have a cat her name is mischief and shes 11 and a half years old, she recently started to breath heavy with her mouth open and her tounge is out most of the time, she hasn’t been drinking water or eating food, shes lost alot of weight and im wondering if anyone knows what could be wrong with her, she used to eat alot and drink alot of water and she just one day stopped, she hardly even goes to the washroom and hardly moves at all.. i really dont wanna lose my cat and all the vets will say is to put her down, but please im just asking if anyone knows what could possibly be wrong with her? thank you

  • Justin

    What a day today. Shredder, my cat I named after the Ninja Turtles cartoon when I was 5 has passed on today. He was 20 years old long haired siamese. He lived a very good life and has fought through a lot in his life but, could not beat cancer at an old age.

    He was more than a cat to me. He was the best friend I have ever known. I have had a lot of friends in my life but, nothing comes close to my relationship with Shredder. I grew up with him sleeping by me every night growing up until I moved from home. I shared my deepest fears and secrets with him. I could come back from shooting someone and he would still love me unconditionally. We had a bond where we understood each other like I have never had before.

    This soul gave more love, care and passion in his little life than any human I have known. He was with me when I was a playful kid, through my highschool years. Finally he stuck with me and showed me loved when I became addicted to heroin. I have laughed and cried with him more times than I can count.

    Today I am coming up on 3 years sober and couldn’t have loved him more. He stuck with me through it all.

    He played every role as a cat. He was anindoor/outdoor (whatever he wanted) cat who fought for his ally cat status outside and demanded his king of the house status inside. He was very affectionate, playful, smart absolutely adorable.

    Last night, my dad and I finally made the decision that it was time. He took a very sharp turn for the worse 3 days prior and was unable to control where or when he peed and rarely moved. We did not want to take him to the vet but, making him suffer for any longer was too much pain for all of us.

    We both sat with him, petting and talking to him as he took his last breaths at the vet’s office. I am happy he is no longer suffering and am extremely greatful I had the chance to have such a great companion in my life. I only have happy memories, and I will see him again.

    Shredder, you gave so much more than you took in life. I love you dearly and already miss seeing your face. Me and Dad love you and will see you again. Take care little guy!

  • Martin

    Hello, I found this site while googling about dealing with cat death. It helps a lot to read other peoples’ responses and to know that other people feel about their cats the way I feel about ours.

    Our cat Stinky died yesterday morning at 2:55 am… she was 18 years old and we loved her deeply. She was a really intelligent cat, who loved to play with us even into her old age.

    She was an indoor/outdoor cat for much of her life, until she got too old. I think she recognized it herself.. she simply stopped going out. She was a fighter too though. When she was much younger, she got attacked by our neighbor’s dog, which ripped a hole in her throat. She survived the attack and recovered amazingly well, even to the vet’s surprise. He asked us “what the hell happened to your cat??” and we replied “well, if you think this looks bad, you should see the dog!” I think that tenacity is what helped her stay with us as long as she did. She simply refused to give up. That’s how she was.

    We moved to 7 different places while she was with us and she always stayed close to us. When the Northridge earthquake happened, the apartment we were living in was a total mess and we were huddled in the hallway. She stayed with us the entire time. She was so good at adapting to new surroundings and situations, and never once left us.

    Over the past few days, we kind of knew her time was short. Her behavior was beginning to change — she began reverting to kitten-like behavior, doing things she hadn’t done in years.

    She died with my mom by her side after suffering a massive seizure in the early morning hours. I can only hope that she didn’t suffer too much. I didn’t get to be there to say goodbye the way my mom was, and it kills me. The last time I saw her, I knew something was different about her, but I did nothing. She didn’t seem like the cat I had known for 18 years. I should have spent more time with her. How stupid am I?

    I am having a lot of trouble accepting that my beloved friend and companion of 18 years is really gone. I miss her!

  • Cheryl

    My heart goes out to all of you who have shared your hearts with a beloved cat. I have two adopted shelter cats, both 6 years old. A dear friend of mine just had to put down her beloved 15-year-old cat. How well do I understand the pain of loss (and sometimes guilt) that one feels when you lose your kitty, whether by illness, old age or by accident. I too have suffered the emotional loss of several cats and dogs over the years.

    Please, all of you, consider adopting another cat (or two!). There are so many wonderful kitties available in your local shelter – many are kittens, but please keep your hearts open to adopting an older cat, too. They are all in need of good homes and much love. And God bless all of you for your love and care.

  • sheri

    I just lost my baby boy, Costner, two days ago. I came home from work and he didn’t meet me at the door like usual. I saw his tail peeking out from under my bed, where he liked to sleep, and I thought that maybe he was in a deep sleep so I was quiet not to wake him. But then I went to wake him, lifted the bed skirt, and called to him to wake up. He didn’t lift his head so I wiggled his foot to wake up…and he was stiff. I knew he was dead and I lost it. I pulled the bed away after running around the house screaming and crying…and he was lying there with his eyes open, and blood all over his paws, nose and mouth. I don’t know what happenend. He was up with me that morning, eating, drinking, laying in the bathroom while I got ready…and then just gone hours later. He has been with me for 16 years and has been my bestfriend. I knew he was acting a bit different lately, but I thought it was just because it was hot outside and he was old. I had no sign from him that this was coming and I wish I did cuz maybe I could have done something. And the worst part is that he died alone. I don’t know if he was in pain or scared and I feel so bad. He was such a tough boy and overcame many things throughout his life (virus, diabetes, another illness, hit by a car)…why did he have to leave me? I am so sad and can’t stop crying. I miss everything about him. And I can’t bear that I will never hold him or see him again. I love you so much Cosy Bear and I am sorry that I wasn’t there for you in your final minutes. I will never forget you.

  • Our 9 week old kitten Grey passed away this morning. He had FIP. What a terrible disease for a feline to go thru.
    My sister and brother in law who live with me, my husband and my daughter, had just recently lost their beloved cat, Chloe of 9 years to cancer. My sister and brother in law never had kids, so Chloe was their baby. Chloe was a good cat that had an attitude for sure, but still loved to be with her Mommy & Daddy. When Chloe died it was so hard for all of us, we loved her very much. My sister and brother in law had her put to sleep to end her suffering. It was the first true rest that she was able to have in a long time. This happened at the end of April.
    Two weeks ago, my sister and brother in law decided it would be nice to have another cat, so they could love it as much as Chloe. They shopped around, and found two little cuties that were brothers. They found them at the local pet store, but they were from a pet rescue. The two kittens were named Remus and Grey. Everything was great up until a week ago, when Grey’s tummy got really bloated, and he started having diarhhea. My brother in law took him to the vet, and they did tests for the major feline viruses, and apparently they came back negative. The local vet gave some antibiotics for Grey. We’ve had been giving him antibiotics up till last night, with no change. Yesterday, Grey seemed perkier and we thought he was on the mend, but late at night he started having bad diarhhea again, whenever he got up from having a nap he would basically have a bowel movement right there. Then he started having the shakes. My sister and brother in law took him to the emergency vet, but there was nothing they could do. He died this morning. And it was confirmed that Grey had FIP. Now we have to watch his brother, Remus, and my cat Toffee to see if they get sick, since it is contagious. And we have to inform the pet store and the pet rescue.
    We lost 2 cats in 2 months, an older cat and a baby kitty. It hurts so much, even though we didn’t have Grey long, he was such a good cat, and we still are grieving over Chloe. I pray that Toffee and Remus do not get sick. I don’t think as a family we would be able to bear it. At least we were there with them in their finally moments, and I hope they know that we love them very much.
    We love you babies, Chloe and Grey.

  • Just to let you know, that Grey’s brother Remus, had contracted FIP also. We put him to sleep this morning. Bye Bye Baby Remus, we love you!

  • Rina

    I had googled for causes of death in cats and stumbled upon this blog… thank you to all that shared your thoughts.. i feel much better now knowing that I am not alone..

    I too just lost my cat this morning.. last night I noticed a change in her.. as I held her in my arms and stroked her, she seemed to love it a lot and purred contentedly as if telling me not to stop… usually she’d be her spirited self and allow some strokes then would want to jump out of my arms as soon as possible…

    I immediately took her to the vet and they put her on a drip, and then this morning they called saying she had vomited blood and is now in the lateral position i.e. bad news… and about 2 hours later when I was making arrangements for a colleague to take my place in a meeting while I visited her at the clinic, I received the dreaded phone call….my cat did not make it…

    I cried my heart out.. she was only about 4 years old…I had actually only cared for her a 2.5 years (I adopted her from friend) but nevertheless she was very dear to me and my sis….and will be sorely missed….

    RIP Sayang and know that we love you!!

  • KF

    I am grieving with you all. I have 3 cats, Huntington Beach – 13, Chevy Chase – 14 and Hijaz – 2.5. Huney was diagnosed with liver cancer approximately 8 months ago. She was a trooper all the way until the end. She began to love french fries and I allowed her to eat whatever she wanted. I knew her time was near. Thursday, she stopped eating and sat in the same spot all day. My daughter bought it to my attention. She wouldn’t take any food or water. She had been vomiting for the past 8 months but since she stopped eating and drinking, she didn’t vomit anything. Huney moved from spot to spot through out the house. Going from under the sofa to the dining room to the sun room. She was soooooo ill but I couldn’t kill her! I watcher her and gave her much love and attention. She could hardly purr. Last night at around 2:15 AM, I heard the weirdest sound ever. Sorta like a loud screel/screech/meow all rolled up into one. It woke the whole house. I went down stairs and saw her under the dining room table. She was lifeless but I still saw movement in her. Then finally, she made a slight sound and her head moved and she took her final breath. This was the most remarkable thing that I have ever seen. I also felt strange because I knew the Angle of death was in my home taking her soul. I pray that I never have to see this again. I can’t stomach witnessing the death of another cat. Even though I had attempted to prepare myself because I knew my cats were getting up in age but I never thought it would happen like this. Nor did I know I totally wouldn’t be prepared.

    It feels better to retell my story as it helps in my grieving process. Our whole family, including the other cats are truly grieving because of the loss of our loved one!

    We will alwasy miss you Huney!

  • cherylleebest

    Thanks to everybody who has shared their stories here. It is comforting that I am not alone in feeling these devasting, stomach-churning pangs of loss. Jeez, I know worse things happen to aperson than losing a beloved pet, but my Basi was more than a pet to me. I miss him so so much. He was my best friend, my familiar, my soulmate, my baby. He wasn’t just a cat. He connected with me, with us, and everyone loved him. There was an inexplicable magic about him.

    We discovered he had a nasal tumour about 9 months ago so have been expecting to loose him for some time. He hung on in there and enjoyed a good quality of life, learning to cope and adapt his breathing pattern. He didn’t seem upset or to be suffering – I couldn’t have stood it if it had been like that.

    Looking back at photos of him in his prime as my dignified, proud black king panther, I realise just how much he had diminished by the end.

    It all started when I noticed his purring and breathing seemed to have got louder. He started to sit in unusual places (for him) like at the top of the stairs or the middle of the landing. I noticed, though my husband did not, that he seemed to be holding his head in a position that was ever so slightly to normal, as if making his neck a little longer and fractionally tucking his chin. I returned home from work one day to my husband running out of the house to me, saying Basi was not well. He was inert and bleeding from his left nostril. The vet took x-rays and did a biopsy, confirming a growth, possibly tumour in the upper left nasal cavity. Biopsy results were inconclusive. A couple of days later, he sneezed and a lump of gristle came out. He seemed to be his usual self again. We assumed the biopsy had dislodged an obstruction and antibiotics had helped clear any infection. After Lazarus, the biblical character restored tl life, we began calling him “Bazarus”!!
    A cycle began. A gristly growth would appear from his nostril then he would have a sneezing fit and blast it out. His nostril was constantly runny, and I thought he smelled a bit funny. After one trip to the vets his sister hissed at him. She started to give him a wide berth. We kept expecting the worst, yet he seemed happy in himself, washing eating, sleeping, drinking, purring as usual. He sought our company constantly, spending all his time with us. He was getting thinner, though.
    Another trip to the vets, a diagnosis of a bacteria culture and a prescription for antibiotics. Bazarus started to eat more!

    We lost him on Monday, and sadly we weren’t there. He and his sister were at my dear mother-in-law’s house whilst my husband and I were on holiday. Up until the 10th day of our absence, he had been fine. We got a phone call. Basi is listless and won’t rest. The antibiotics had run out two days ago. It was a Sunday, the next day a Bank Holiday. No chance of getting more. Should we get more? If his condition changes so suddenly without the antibiotics, surely they are responsible for sustaining him? Would we be prolonging suffering to start a new course? I cried all day, thinking of nothing else.
    11th day, phone message “His condition has severely deteriorated. I’m so sorry, but I have no option but to take him to the vet.” He was so weak, my mother-in-law carried him in her arms for his last trip to the vet. He died in loving arms, though sadly not ours. We returned the next day. They had buried him, planted a flower on top, little headstone too. We were so grateful.
    Hours before he died, Through snatched, restless sleep I dreamt about another cat, swimming with a toy in his paws. I didn’t know him, but then he went to get my Basi from the shore. Bas got a toy too, and could swim and dive under the water. The swam off together, out to the horizon. I returned to my family. I knew he was ok. This give me comfort, and I like to see it as a message.

    I yearn to contact him, for his to contact me. I want him near always. I am certain he is.

  • beve

    Louie was a tabby cat who moved into my home about 5 months ago…I was overseas and had a housesitter minding my other animals. At=rrived home to find this rather large male cat living on my front veranda./..housesitter thought it was the stray cat I fed. Where he came from is a mystery he was very friendly and quite passive so fitte in with my other animals very well. Took him to vets to be desexed & tagged and it was thought louie was about 7 years old. he fitted in very well and absoutely loved me…wherever I was he was…yesterday I found he was breathing rapidly took him to the vets who thought he may have had some sort of trauma…left Louie in the vets care and this morning when i rang to see how he was i was told the sad news the Louie had died in the night… am so sad and wonder if i overlooked something major prior to noticing his rapid breathing I feel so so sad…

  • Donna

    I lost my little Tidbit yesterday. He was just a fighter – only 14 months old but his neuter did him in-he developed FIP (intense procedure as one testicle was not descended). He was such a tiny thing when I got himat 2 days old and he always had some sort of health issue. He fought until the end, even when given the sedative right before the injection. That was so hard to see….we both thought we’d fight this battle and win. I still feel guilty for making the decision for him..maybe he wasn’t ready. Goodbye sweet Hibbit O’Hara (nickname)- I loved you so. It was very helpful reading all of your stories here. Thanks.

  • Heather

    hi everyone. i am glad i found this link. me and my boyfriend live together in an apartment. we have two cats that are 8 months old. we adopted them from a friend. we first met them when they were a week old and had our two loved ones picked out from first sight. the female-Bella is very independent, she only likes to be pet when she wants to be. but she would love to sleep under the blanket with me and snuggle close to my skin. the male-Tyson is a wild one, always chasing his tail, and loves to be pet. when i am home the cats are always near me. they play together for hours as kittens do. hiding and pouncing, scrambling up the couch. getting into things you wish they wouldn’t. usual adorable kittens. Everyone who comes over liked her more because she is very calm and cool- he’s a little crazy and they think he might scratch them. they don’t know that he only ‘hits’ you with his paws, not his claws.

    Bella seemed sick about a month ago. She would sleep all day in a dark corner. we started taking extra special care of her. she got much better- never stopped eating or anything. we noticed some vomit on the floor about a week ago but weren’t sure which cat it came from. they were both acting so normally. My pretty baby girl Bella was so affectionate the past couple of days. climbing all over me, purring in my ear in the morning.

    yesterday i was driving home from class (i have very long days- work and school full time) and my boyfriend called me frantic. he said “the cat is choking, what to i do?” my heart stopped. i told him just to try to help it get it out. once before the cat was coughing and he freaked out and i have had cats before so i know they can pretty much take care of themselves. i figured it would all be okay. thought to call 911 but that’s for humans, not cats. there really is nothing for animals like that.

    i rushed home, got there 2-3 minutes after the call and all was silent in the house. i run/walk into the bedroom and there is my pretty little girl laying on the floor. eyes open but no life. i just pet her and cried. held her little paw. she was warm and as fuzzy as ever. i kept just hoping she would wake up. she has the prettiest eyes, all yellow with green just around the pupil. i never saw anything like that before.
    i just feel devastated. we took her to my mom’s house to bury her. these cats had never been separated before. her brother walks around making his ‘calling’ meows. only he ever made them but she always came running. he keeps just walking around looking at us. he is very nervous and very jumpy. he was right there when she died, he even licked her after wards, does he know and is just grieving or does he not know? this morning he was very affectionate as usual but i just feel empty because she was not there, she didn’t sleep with me.

    i want to know what happened to her. my boyfriend said they ate their canned food about 15 minutes prior to all of this. she was fine. then out of no where she started jumping around like crazy making a gargling sound. he opened her mouth to see if there was anything in there but he couldn’t see anything and she bit him. i really just hope she didn’t suffer too much. she was so young to die.

    i just don’t understand. there was nothing she could have gotten into as far as poisons. she ate and cats usually don’t eat when they are sick. it is a complete shock. i have read that i could be heart related or problems with the lungs.

    i feel as if i am in a daze and i will be able to go home and see my little Bella. my heart is broken. I feel for everyone on this post. Much love goes out to you.

  • Dr. Juliann Mitchell, PhD

    I am so sorry for the loss of Bella. It hurts so very much when we have a pet die. They do become members of our family. It sounds like the two of you were quite close and I know all of you will miss her.

  • Suzi

    My Melanie is dying and my heart is breaking. She is 7 years old. I have had her since she was 3 weeks old, rescued from a household where animals were being neglected. She has been sick her whole life, liver disease, feline anemia, and the last two years in chronic renal failure. I have loved and cherished her each and every day she has shared with me. My college age son adores her, she has truly been a princess in this house. Perhaps because she has always been frail and required such intense care I am that much more bound to her. I truly believe her will to live has sprung from the love she has been given. She is crashing now, her kidneys now completely failing, that is what I am told by her doctor. There is no more hope for her. I am told that while she is in distress she is not in pain. She is at home where all the sounds and smells are familiar to her. She is resting quietly, peacefully, her little paws curled inward toward her heart. Her fur is soft and silky, her eyes the color of a storm cloud. She has filled the last 7 years of my life with nothing but joy. I will miss her every single day. I see it in her eyes, she’s just too tired to go on.
    It’s ok to go now sweet precious angel. I love you Melanie and I will never forget you. Never.

  • deepa

    I’m so sorry Suzi. I know how tough it can be. I got my cat, Bugi in 1998. He was only 2 months old. He kept me company in grad school while my husband was traveling. He moved with us through 3 different states and 7 different apartments/homes. He was there when our daughter was born in 2003. He was there when I went through a severe depression that happened after the birst of our child. He’s been there through job losses and job moves for both my husband and I. Bugi has been that constant joy who has greeted us at the door, rubbed our legs at dinner time and sat with us as we settled down at night. He was the first to wake up and get excited at the start of a new day. His love and companionship were unbelievable. Then 5 months ago, he was diagnosed with kidney disease. His health steadily declined until this past weekend, he had gotten so weak. He followed me everywhere and wouldn’t leave my lap. He would no longer look in my eyes when I called his name. I had pleaded with him for months now to hang on and now he couldn’t. He was ready to leave and he wanted to be with me when he left. He sat on my lap at the doctor’s office and was already half way gone before the doctor put the iv in him. The last response he had give to acknowledge me was a few movements of his tail.

    Bugi, I miss you so much. There is an empty part of my heart that will always be missing. You filled that with so much strength and joy and compassion. You taught me forgiveness. You taught me courage. I love you.

  • Chrissy

    My poor Zoey just passed today, A 6 year old blue eyed white cat, My baby… She had been with before I met husband and had my daughter.. She was my Best Friend, She acted more like a dog at times then a cat..All day i keep on waiting for her to be under my feet..

    She was ok, then Friday she was acting a little funny, and saturday when my daughter was in the bath and Zoey was not there I knew something was wrong she never misses bath time (yes she loves the water always has since she was a kitten) Saturday night was when she got bad i had to give her water in a dropper, there is no er doc where i live and as you would guess the vet is closed on Sunday, But she was to sick you could see it, no meds at that point would have made her better. So i stayed up all night with her trying to make the best of what i knew was only hours away. Then at 7am Monday she was gone.
    My heart hurts more then i can say!!! i love you Zoey I always will forever, I will never forget you, You will always be my 1st Baby XOXOXOX

  • Heather

    Thank you Dr Juliann. Its been almost a week and I feel better. I think about Bella all the time, but now I am able to without tears. I realize that this must have happened for a reason and am thankful that she had a good life and did not suffer much in the end.
    Thank you everyone for the mutual support. It has really helped me through this time.

  • Larry Smith

    Earlier this year I lost my outside cat, Minnie, (a he cat), of 23 years. He had been in a fight with a dog the year before was finally beginning to recover from the 6 months of treatment but he took a turn for the worse and had to have him euthanized. We had two other young indoor cats, Walker and Riley. They are brothers who just turned 5 years old. Walker was a 17 pounder with the markings of a Turkish Van, beautiful long, white angora hair with a plume like orangish tail. Both the boys would always be near my wife and me. Sleep with us..never leave our side. This past Saturday all seemed normal. On Sunday my wife found Walker lying on the cool basement floor, sleeping. However, he was very lethargic. We planned to take him to the vet today. Last night I brought him to our bedroom and laid him in his basket. In the early morning darkness (about 4:15am), I heard two cat wails. I arose and found him on the coolness of the stone floor of our bath. He was gone within seconds. We are devastated by his passing. So quickly we went from 3 cats we dearly loved to 1 cat. They are all wonderful! I so am glad Walker was not ill very long but will always be puzzled as to what could have caused his sudden death. He was a loving and gentle soul. Pets such as these are a true addition to our lives. As the little kitty is dependent on us, we are equally dependent on them for their love and unwavering affection.

  • LightStream

    My Cat Vampy a.k.a Vampira died on the 10th of October 2008, he was close to 13 years old and in fine health up until around 5 or so weeks ago… He started vomiting 3 times inside and maybe outside and from that point i noticed his walking began to be off balance from the rear hind legs… Initally i wasn’t too concerned as his vomiting seemed to stop and his walking was a bit funny anyway as he’d been in a car accident about 9 years prior that affect his walking only slighty… It wasn’t until an ex-girl friend came over and noticed his walking that and said he should go to the vet ASAP just to be safe, thatn i decided she was correct… Better safe than sorry right! So took hom to the vet and they gave him a basic physical, i described the symptoms ands she said that he was in fine health and that it was probably just Arthritis she gave a anti-inflammatory injection to help with his walking and confirmed that he had one leg shorter than the other probably from car accident many years ago… Overall she said he looked fine to her… Anyway a month later i noticed Vampys weight seemed to be dropping and then one day he seemed awefully weak all of a sudden as if he could barely walk and was at deaths door so to speak… I was terribly upset and called this time a different vet The Animal and Bird Hospital and made an appointment for the folling morning… The next morning Vampy seemed stronger and had some vibrancy back but took anyway just to be safe, they did a physical and took a blood test as the woman i dealt with was suspecting it to be renal failure, took Vampy home and the vet called the folling day and said that the Blood Test had come back clear and that they wanted to do some more testing, I said wjhat testing, she said another blood test for cat leukimia and feline aids but based on Vampys condition at that timne he seemed much, much stronger and was eating again and seemed to be on the path to full recovery… 2 weeks later i noticed Vampys contion started to deteriorate again and the weakness seemed to be returning his weight was dropping again and he’d gone off his food… Most distressed i called and made another appointment, took him to the Animal and Bird Hospitable again spoke to a different woman, she was concerned for his well being and wanted to keep him there to place him on a drip as she said he was dehydrated and also to do some more blood test. I hesistantly agreed as at first i didn’t want to leave him there as i know he hates vets but decided if it was indeed very serious that this might be his last fighting chance for a medical/scientific explanation and hopefull cure for what was going on… They called later that evening and said the blood test for feline aids and leukemia both came back negative/clear and said to call in the next moring to check on him… Called first thing the next moring to check on his condition and she said hed eaten his full bowl of food and seemed to be doing alittle bettet… So i called them later for a progress report and she said that his blood test had comne back which shos the red & white blood cell count and said that his red blood cells were quite low and that they were not rejuvenating themselves which normally happens when a cat gets unwell the white blood cells were slightly above average but not higher enough to be an infection of any kind so the conclusion was that Vampy had some form of Cancer(i had to stop half way through typing that sentence as i started to cry!), she said that they could do an xray and an operation to open him up to poke around to see if there was anything unusual but stated that there was a 98% chance that he wouldn’t make it out of the operation alive because of the weakness… I was terrribly upset and asked if i could please come and collect him as i didn’t want him to be there any longer if they couldn’t do anything more to help him and she told me that ishould very seriously contemplete Euthenasia as she said that he was suffering from quality of life because of his weakness and lack of interesest ineating etc, he didn’t seem to be in any pain and i didn’t want him to be put to sleep at the vetinary clinic and told her that if that was going to happen i would prefer it to be done in my own house in his familiar surroundings… i collected Vampy and he seemed to be worse than when i took him there 2 days earlier which was upsetting, i was hoping that being on the drip would have help his general condition but alas apart fromn his coat looinkg healthier, his weakness and disinterestedness in food etc was very upsetting… that evening i could hear the words of the vetinarian saying to consider the Euthanaisia because of his lack of quality of life and started to thionk that maybe she was right as he seemed to be really at deaths door, i had to carry himn to sit in the back yard, when he used the cat litter box he was so tired that he would just lie down in the box and go to sleep 🙁 and seemed so terribly weak that his walking was even worse… So the following day i spent the entire day with him time outside and just giving him as much love as i humanly could muster, i wanted him to know that the Euthanasia was purely out of love for him and the not wanting him to suffer any longer and that it was for his best interest i called a home vet to come and when he was doing the process he said Vampy was surprisingly incredible calm, i said that he was diagnosed with cancer and physically didn’t have a lot of energy left… When it was done which seemed incredibly fast his eyes had a extremely peaceful and contented and an incredible sense of peace and serenity/joy enterered my feelings which i believe without a doubt was the spirit or being/essence of Vampy departing as i had never experienced feelings exactly like that before… The whole experience seemed to happen incredibly quickly from full health then within 3-5 weeks it was almost over…. The vetinarian said that cancer can be in the system for many years and the body will be fine but and some point it gets to the stage where the body says “nope, i can’t do this anymore’ 🙁 and that at that point things get very difficult very quickly… I couldn’t humanly love anything in the this world as much as i love Vampy it just couldnt be possible and i feel that his time with me to be that of a great blessing… I feel for anyone more than words can express that has to go through anything like what i and Vampy had to endure… Life is indeed a precious thing and it seems that sometimes angels come in many, many forms to help us and to give us there love and comfort… “God Bless You All and All of your Angels”…

  • Josh

    My cat Tigger died today on about 12:30 October 19 2008.Shes laying on the floor as I write this.I don’t know what to do.I’m just a kid.What I’m I supposed to do? I have no car no money.I took care of her on a daily bases but about 3weeks ago I have been living with my grandparents cause I was in a shelter for truancy.And so when I came back.My brother had told me she wont eat.She just sit by herself in my sisters room on her bed.so I go to my house for the weekend.Come to my house on Friday and I see how bad she really is.Thin.I could feel her spine and see her stomach outline.Its heartbreaking.I pay attention to her for awhile but she just looks at me with hate in her eyes.I think shes mad and depressed form me no being there since I was the only one that actually gave her attention daily.Fed her.Clean the cat box.All that.So I sit there petting her than say I love her.Kiss her than walk up stairs.the day goes on just like any old day.Than the next day comes there’s vomit allover my sisters floor and than she walks up into my room and than pees on my backpack.I fell bad but my brother tells me to kick her out.I did but felt so bad I felt like dying.i knew it wasn’t her fault so than that day went by and now today I wake up at 11 to go to the bathroom and there she lays in front of the bathroom with her face in the ground.But her tale would wag after I would call her name she sat on her legs with her face on the ground.I’m downstairs for about 15 mins before I go back upstairs to wake my bro up and say….Tiggers dead.We sit and say we should of done something but we couldn’t of.my mom was in rehab.My sister was in a shelter.Its just me and him.SO we sit in silence for about 20 mins.Than he tells me to go online so I could look u this stuff to know when your cats dead.And I have been taking breaks between going downstairs and reading these. so I go downstairs one last time to see that she is on her side lying down.I sit in the kitchen crying for about 20 mins.My cheeks,Chin and shirt are soaked with tears.She was a nice cat I kept thinking why I thought about all the memories we had and cried.Just cried.Didn’t know what to do.So I cried.Sitting here typing this while my cat is dead on the floor downstairs…What do I do?! I dont think I can ever get over this

  • Mary Lee

    Thank you for this opportunity to share my grief. I had a best friend cat, Cowboy for over 16 years who was great until two weeks ago. He could no longer jump on the kitchen counter to get his food ( I fed him there because I have a small dog.) But he still would claw his way to the top of my bed to sleep with me and Maggie, my dog.

    Last night I woke in the middle of the night and noticed he wasn’t on the bed and called to him but he didn’t come (which happens sometimes). I woke and saw him clawed to the side of my bed– thought he was needing help and reached for him.
    It was awful…rigor mortis had already set in and I totally freaked out. Fortunately a neighbor helped me bury him. I am so sad and yet I know he was truly loved and I know he knew that. As he was becoming more arthritic, I tried giving him “people” tuna and chicken from the deli to try and build his strength. The night he died, he still had enough strength to try and take the dog’s food. I had no idea he was so close to death and think he must have had a heart attack or heart failure. I am soooo sad and miss my little Cowboy so much. Prayers are with all of you as well xx
    Mary Lee

  • hi

    My orange cat named genie died today just before 7 am. He was a great little guy. He had one eye and had cancer with no symptoms. About 4 days ago he went in for a little puss in the old eye socket. That was Saturday. On Tuesday at 11 pm he started to hyperventillate off and on he went under the bed at 1am and I was able to sleep until I heard him crying at 6:30. I got him out and he was really cold. He was also disoriented but I was able to calm him down on a blanket. At 6:50 he started to just throw his legs forward as he was in his side. He then slowed his breathing and these leg throws were in time with when he breathed in after about 5 or 10 of these as I was petting him he just stopped everything. On a way it was peaceful at that moment. I knew he was dead. I checked his breathing and eye movement. Nothing. I wrapped him in a large towel and held him for a long time. I had to wait about 2 hours for our local vet to open. I will pick up his remains next week. I didn’t really want to see him die in front of me but at least I was strong enough to stay till the end. You’re going to think I’m strange but I have 11 cats. Every one is special to me. I’d have 100 if I could care for them properly. I guess now I have 10. I have 3 or 4 on the bed at night and the take shifts. Anyway I’ll miss genie.

  • Yesterday I mentioned that my cat genie died. This morning another one named Goober was hit by a car and is also dead. I don’t know what else is going to happen.

  • Kat

    I have a feeling my cat Mary is dead. My husband let her out last night and she never came back home. She wasn’t around at all this morning.

    She was 18 years old and for the past six months or so, she’s been crying alot and getting matted looking. I knew she was old and I didn’t take her to the vets.

    I just walked all around my property and out into the woods. I saw two feral cats in my backyard and I know she’s been in scraps with them before. They just sort of looked at me. I kept asking them “where is my Mary?”

    My mother in law said that she’ll probably just go off in the woods to die one day. I was shocked and thought her comment was incredibly rude and insensitive. But now it has me wondering if that’s how cat’s die.

    Most of you said your cat died right there with you. I’m so sad that I didn’t get to be with Mary as she passed.

    I loved her so much and yet I feel so incredibly guilty because she has just been so annoying lately with all her crying.

    We’ve been fixing up our house in preparation of a possible move and I thought it was just all the construction that had her freaked out. And we had been wondering if she would survive a move to a new home or city.

    I don’t know… it’s all just so unfinished. Does anybody know if cat’s just go off and die.

    Maybe she was killed by an animal in the middle of the night. But I walked around the yard and looked for traces of fur or signs of a scuffle. But I’m no pet detective.

    I wish I knew for sure what happened. But I have a strong sense of knowing that Mary is gone.

  • I don’t think cats plan to just ‘go off and die’, Kat.

    Although you say your cat is 18, she’s evidently still energetic enough to go off and roam outside.

    I’ve had two cats disappear and not come home. With the first one, we put notices out and got a call from a lady who said she’d seen her get run over by a car and killed; since she didn’t have a collar (she was expert at getting out of it!), she took her home and buried her in her backyard.

    The second cat just went missing suddenly (completely unlike her – she seldom ventured more than a few steps from the back door) and then just as suddenly showed up again about a week later as if nothing had happened. Goodness knows where she’d been – perhaps she’d got herself locked in someone’s garage or something.

    Point is, even cats who are very set in their ways do just wander off sometimes for inscrutable reasons of their own. I hope that’s what yours did, but I understand your anguish especially bearing in mind her advanced age. I hope you find her, no matter what may have happened to her.

  • AC

    Wow, reading all these comments is heart-wrenching. I stumbled upon this site because mine and my roommate’s own cat died earlier today, barely 2 hours ago. I wish these comments could comfort me, but I don’t think I’ll have any such luck because I feel so guilty over Ash’s demise.

    We only had her for about 2 months. When my roommate got her at the shelter she was about a year old. He didn’t ask if I had cat allergies (which I do) before he got her, so I was a little mad when he did. However, over the course of the last 2 months I’ve grown so attached to the kitty. I’ve fought my allergies and been miserable, but somehow have been so happy. It just felt so good to come back to the apartment and see little Ash waiting around.

    About 3 weeks ago Ash began acting strange. She started being less playful and started pooping and peeing everywhere. We got her tested and she had no signs of illness. We did everything imaginable to her litter box (multiple boxes at once, at one point) and its location, thinking she had a problem with it, but she didn’t. We figured she just became mean or traumatized by something but still showed her love, even as we tried to re- litter train her.

    For a while she still went randomly, and even began sitting in her own faeces and urine, at which point we began calling her scat-cat, or sh*t-cat in jest, because we knew of no other cats who wanted to be anywhere near their own excrements. We also began to worry and took her back to the vet. We got antibiotics for her because of her habit of literally rolling in her own puddles.

    The other day we tried a last-ditch attempt to re-train her. On a forum we went to for litter-training help someone suggested locking the cat up in a room with the box and rewarding her when she goes in it, not punishing her when she goes out of it, just showing her where it goes. But we didn’t want to leave her in a room locked up by herself; we wanted to keep an eye on her to make sure she was okay, so we thought up an idea.

    We tied a string to her collar and tied her down to a doorknob in our living room, making sure to leave her plenty of slack, overall a 6 or so foot semicircle she could move around in. Her collar was purposely left very loose, loose enough that she could just squirm out if she really wanted to. We put her litter box next to her and left her. The first thing she did was use her litter box as a kitty bed, even though her actual kitty bed was right next to her. But this was actually normal for her, as she seemed to do this frequently, she loved being a stinky, dirty cat.

    This was 2 days ago, and she has been a generally good cat since, and we let her off multiple times. Unfortunately, as soon as she was unleashed, she would find a nice new place in the middle of the floor (she wasn’t looking for privacy she’d do her business on the floor as we looked at her)

    Today we were supposed to bring her to the vet for a psychiatric evaluation. My roommate was sleeping this afternoon, so only I was around to care for Ash. I went to the bathroom and looked at her. She wasn’t moving but she clearly seemed okay, just as if she was resting. I came out of the bathroom and she was kind of on her back, not moving, but I thought nothing of it. I wish I did; I wish I could go back in time and check on her. I did some work on my computer for about 20 minutes when I checked on her again, she was in the same position as before, so I pet her. Then I jiggled her. Then I flat out shook her. Still no movement. I almost had a heart attack and rushed to wake up my roommate. Her mouth was full of a gooey, sticky substance, probably vomit. Her collar was loose, as always, but the string was wrapped around her leg a bit, which made me wonder if she got tangled. It wasn’t around her neck though. We think she somehow threw up and choked on her own vomit. We noticed scat-cat eating litter at one point before, and stopped her. Could this have been it?

    I guess I’ll never know. And now I can’t stop thinking about how much I wish I could have just checked on her a couple times more often today. I was allergic to her, and she really made breathing and living miserable for me, but she was the cutest thing ever and I was so happy we had her. Like all of your respective cats, she had her cute habits. She’d sleep in my roommate’s bed but in the morning would leave and be waiting outside my room door to try and sneak in when I opened it (due to my allergy, she was never allowed in my room). She had a very big appetite for grease, as we learned from when she ate a big chunk out of a grease-soaked paper towel we had drained bacon fat in before we could stop her. I’ll always miss her.

    The saddest part is that I don’t think I’ll ever get another cat because of my allergies. We only got this one because my roommate didn’t know I was allergic. Ash was a mistake in our lives, but a good mistake which gave us joy in the little time she was with us. Now that my allergies are known, there will be no more wonderful mistake like bringing home another beautiful kitty. It’s not like it would have been another Ash though, for all her faults as well as her strong points. Ash, you will be missed greatly. I love you kitty 🙁

  • Caroline and Chris

    We had to have our cat, Calypso put to sleep today. We got her in March and found out in April that she had cancer. Calypso fought on till the very end – still purring when we were at the vets this evening. I know that we made the right decision as she had become very lethargic, and wasn’t eating and drinking very much at all. Her tumours had also become ulcerated and must have been so sore, though she never meowed in pain. I stayed with her at the vets, and she passed away so quietly and quickly. It literally took seconds, and she was gone. We only had her a few months, but she was firmly part of the family. We will miss her, but know that we will see her again some day.
    Good night, sleep well, Rest in Peace Cally Wally.

  • Steen & Ricci

    Our beloved pure white cat named Sasha had not come home for about a day and when I realized she had not been seen since the night before, I went looking for her outside with a flashlight.

    I know were this cat goes, it’s favourite spots,
    I checked ditches along the road in fear of the worse. This white beauty usually comes running from out of nowhere whenever I whistle her name.

    I could not find her anywhere until I checked my own backyard, thinking she was behind the neighbors shed, I shined my flashlight all around, almost giving up thinking she’ll be home shortly as I keep whistling for her, I shine my light towards the cedars on the right back towards my house, I see something white down below and say out loud, No god, No Sasha !
    I crawl down low to see if this something white is indeed my dear cool mouser of a cat.

    I find her laying on her side almost resting like, she does not respond, I say No, no no as I pull her out from underneat the ceaders, she’s stiff and wet due to the rain, one leg crossed over the other, eyes open with bugs all over.

    I curse and swear going back to the house in order to wash my hands and return with gloves and a bag. I bring her back to the house, not knowing what to do I leave her inside the bag outside until I realize she deserves better then that. I find the box I saw her sleep in the other night, she used to like alsorts of boxes we’d bring into the house. I place her in that box and bring her into the garage where I bring out my other two cats to explain Sasha is gone.

    I’ve cried, I’m sad, I’ve spent all evening engraving a piece of marble stone,
    “Sasha November 8, 2008” I’ve glued a bronze bird statue ontop of the stone as tomorrow morning I will find her in the backyard, a new outdoor home.

    I’ve lost cats before but usually they are lost,
    never actually found one like this.

    I’m afraid her belly was a little swollen which I’m told might be rat or mouse posion.
    Perhaps she moused a posioned rodent and died moments later under the ceaders.

    I thought tonight I saw her in the kitchen window again mouwing to get in for the night.

    I realize I’m already missing this cat, a cool white lady cat that talked to me and came running whenever I whistled for her to come home and on in for the night.

    I’m so sorry Sasha, I don’t know what happen to you ! I’m sad that we part, you were our yardcat and I will always remember you out there when ever I look outside.

    Bye Sasha !
    I’ll miss you !

    I’m sorry for everyone that’s lost their favorite pet cat.

  • Susanne

    wow..reading this helped a lot. My cat Morrie age 14yo passed away less than an hour ago. Earlier, as he was laying and acting not nearly his normal self, I was able to do a google search in relation to his symptoms and found this page. Even though the outcome was something far than I would have wished, it brought me great peace of mind to read this, and to know that his actions and suffering would not last completely to the next day.
    After Morrie had become the only kitty of our household, he became very attentive more than usual and not only always followed after us 24/7, but was always eager to greet us when myself and my parents came home, or to be the first one to come and beg to us when he saw something interesting to nibble on. And sitting here typing this, it breaks my heart to see now, that that isn’t something that can happen anymore. But, at least he is not suffering anymore as he had been and he is in a better place, and will always have a place in my heart. Rest in Peace Morrie. You will be greatly missed by all whom knew you.

  • Terry

    My girlfriends cat died yesterday. Very sad watching her react to finding it dead in the front doorway as you walk in the house. Can’t figure it out shes only a year old. Looks like she was pooping all over the house up until the death. (She was litter box trained.)And foaming at the mouth.

  • Josh

    My cat died not to long ago..It was horrible…I have had her my whole life but now shes gone. let me tell you how i thought she was dead but at the same time.. she wasn’t.Well the last days of my cat she was always alone and had no energy she was throwing up every where and peed on my backpack.She looked mean and depressed so I would pet her every day and keep her by my side for awhile than I would continue on with my day. well the last day of her life was like I lived a day in an hour.It was to emotional for me to handle so I just cried..her head in the ground and her body like she was just regularly sitting down but her head..Her head was in the ground. she was laying in front of the bathroom but every time I called her name..She would wag her tail! so I didn’t know what to do so I went up stairs and told me bro he said he cant go down there or else hell puke so he went back to sleep..Crying and I found this website..but I posted something a long time ago about it. well about an hour later..SHE MOVED! so I gasped and said there might be hope! I told myself so I woke my bro up and told him..He still didn’t wanna go down so I just continued with my life..I didn’t have a car or money so I couldn’t do anything .. so I didn’t than I went down about 2 hours later and saw that she was in a dif position..Almost like she was trying to run away her legs where stiff and out like they way she walked.. her tail was fluffy and she got a lot fatter.She hadn’t been eating for ever so she was super skinny but when she died she got a lot fatter.She was drooling. she was stiff as a rock.And her pupils were dilated. Thats when I knew she was gone ..out of my life 4 ever Well let me tell you bout her.She was a cut cat everyone of my friends just absolutely adored her loved her to death..so did I..She was getting a bit old so she was a lot calmer..She would lay on my stomach for hours just purring away while I would pet her in her favorite spots she loved it on the nose! She would also follow me every where I went out side and she would cry if she wasn’t with me she would walk in the cutest way and just pur when she jumped and all you had to do was call her name and she would begin to purr she was a fun cat everyone just loved her.. she was a good cat and she didn’t deserve to die R.I.P. Tigger. you are truly missed

  • sandra jackson

    My cat (Luke) is so special. I have been so very sick and each time he would never leave me until I was well.Now Luke is 15 and will not use the litter box. He is ruining my house in spite of all the things I do. I can’t stand the amonia of the urine and it is embarrassing when company comes over. What can I do. I can’t bare to put him don. He is old and feeble. Oh I just need help….

  • Dora

    Sandra, Have you taken Luke to see his veterinarian? It sounds as if he may have a urinary infection and/or partial blockage? Don’t give up on him! His sudden taking to urination outside of his litter pan is simply a symptom of illness. Treat the illness, keep his litter pan clean and he just may be fine.
    I sincerely hope all works out well for you and your Luke.

  • kim

    My cat passed away yesterday. I was researching ‘cat death’ online to find the reason why my cat passed away unexpectly and found this site where everyone expressed how much they loved their cats as much as I loved mine.
    Our pomeranian actually found a stray black cat visiting him everyday because we left food and water outside. I noticed a cat coming by every day to eat our dog’s food, but our dog didn’t bother to bark it away. Simply, our dog didn’t care. Then one day the cat decided to stay and our dog had a new buddy we called Black Lust.
    My boyfriend and I didnt plan to have any more pets, but we fell in love with Black Lust. He was probably three months old when he first came and six months when he passed away.
    Black Lust passed away yesterday, which was the day after Thanksgiving. A friend of ours discovered our cat’s body around the corner, he looked like he was sleeping, but he was stiff. There was no blood or vomit or struggle at the scene. The cat showed no previous signs of being sick the past couple of days. We carried him home to bury in the backyard.
    I looked into his eyes to find his yellowish hazel eyes turn to a milky gray. This really hit me that our kitty will never come home ever again. My boyfriend and our dog were not cat lovers in the beginning, but when they met Black Lust they loved him unconditionally, just like how I loved our kitty so much. We will miss you.

  • Jet

    You know it bugs the hell out of me that I wanted to post an article about my cat-but they said “we don’t do that any more”

    But this thing keeps popping up to rub it in my face!


  • Peter

    My beautiful cat FELIX died in my arms this morning just before 6:30am.
    He was 7 years old and dearly loved by both of us.
    Even though he was dying he was just so happy that we were both there with him, comforting him.He was purring right up until a few moments before he died.
    His death was very unexpected and has shocked and saddened both of us.
    Felix was like a mate-always there for us and he was just so happy that we were both able to be there for him in the end.
    Our hearts are broken but we know Felix was just so happy that we were there with him when it mattered most.
    Always love you Felix-pete & thanh xxx

  • EbJoeW

    In 1998, my first wife passed away from cancer after 30 years of marriage. I was left with 3 cats, Tom, Geri, and Eeyore. Tom was a grey tiger about 11. Geri was a tortoise shell female about 5 years old. And Eeyore was a 3 year old grey and white tomcat.

    Over the years, I managed to teach 3 cats to shake hands. They were Geri, Eeyore, and another female years earlier named Freckles.

    I remarried at the end of 1999. As luck would have it, my second wife, who had previously been married to a real jerk, had a grey tomcat named Seymour who was 10 years old. Seymour was an indoor cat with the nastiest personality of any cat I ever did see. His former master (the jerk) mistreated Seymour no end and as a result, Seymour tolerated humans being in the same room as him, but just barely. Any attempt to pet the cat, or even just to get near him was likely to provoke a fierce biting and scratching attack.

    Although Seymour was kept indoors, he spent much of his time sitting on a window sill, watching the world outside where he truly longed to be.

    Many of my wife’s relatives have horror stories about the cat grabbing onto their leg and similar attacks. Even though I dearly love cats, like those relatives, I quickly learned to avoid Seymour.

    The last time the jerk left town, he had apparently intended to take Seymour with him and put him in a small cat carrier. Then, for some reason (maybe he did not have enough room in his car), he left the cat carrier sitting outside in the rain with Seymour inside and he took off. My wife and I thought that he had taken Seymour. When we went to that house the next morning, we found poor Seymour trapped out there in that cat carrier.

    I quickly took the carrier inside the house and released him. I have never since put Seymour into a cat carrier, even for a trip to the vet. He has always been pretty well behaved in a car.

    We gathered Seymour up and took him to his new home at my house. To my utter amazement within a few hours Seymour jumped up into my lap. We soon became the best of friends.

    He and the other 3 cats soon became friends as well and Seymour learned from the others how to get outside via a complex path that involved going through a small hole at floor level in our sunken family room. That led to a little platform near the ceiling in our basement. Then moving down a carpet covered ramp to the top of a water well pressure tank, the cats hopped down to the floor, moved across the basement to a human-sized door that was held shut by a magnetic latch. The cats pawed at the door to release it from the magnet and walked through, up a stairwell into the garage, and out through a pet door installed through the garage door. Meanwhile some small springs installed on the hinges of the magnetically latched door pulled it back closed to the magnet.

    As it turns out, Seymour didn’t want to go anywhere except just outside to sit in the sun and watch the country neighborhood where we lived.

    At the end of 2001, we bought a different house in the country and moved there with all 4 cats.

    Within a couple of years, Geri, who sometimes took hunting trips lasting for a few days left and didn’t come back after a few days. We think she took up residence in a nearby barn. She loved to catch mice. After a few months we found her body along side the road where she had apparently been hit by a car.

    Eeyore loved to catch mice too. He retained many of the playful characteristics of a kitten all through his life. Tom was a good mouser in his younger days but Eeyore had become the undisputed mouse killing king at our house for years. When he was not finding mice in our house, he was out back in the weeds honing his mouse hunting skills.

    In 2006 Eeyore contracted heartworm. We spent $1350 trying to get him past that. He seemed well on the way to a recovery, but one evening he suddenly succumbed to the heartworms. They strangled him to death. It was an agonizing death and we felt so helpless to help him. His days of playing and catching mice had come to an abrupt end in the prime of his life.

    Within two months, old Tom passed away one night in his sleep.

    Old Seymour was the only one left. Just about anytime that it was sunny outside, he wanted to be out on our front porch laying in the sun. He never roamed away from our lot.

    Even before we moved to our current house, he had turned into the biggest baby of them all. Before he hooked up with me, my wife did not know that he could purr.

    He would come to me and meow in a demanding way to get me to pick him up and hold him. As soon as I bent down to pick him up, he would start purring loudly. He always sat up in my arms, reached over and pawed at my neck and my left ear or my face while he gazed straight into my eyes. Except for his purring, we silently communicated on a most unusual animal/human level.

    Sometimes I carried him around in my arms the way you would cradle a baby in your arms, with his back to the ground. His trust of me was total. I could handle his feet, mess around with his belly, all those things that cats usually hate and he never had a problem with any of that. He insisted on at least one of these cuddling sessions lasting between 10 minutes and an hour just about every day and sometimes twice a day.

    One would think that if I could teach those other cats to shake hands, I would surely be able to get Seymour to do it. Well, it just never worked out, but not for lack of trying.

    Now it is the 5th of December of 2008. It is cold outside. Gone are the days of laying in the sun because there is little or no sun. Seymour would be 20 about the first of May of next year if he lived that long but he will not make it that long.

    Arthritis slowed him down a few years ago but the vet fixed that up with some steroids. A few months ago, he began slacking off on his upkeep. His grooming dropped off. Then he began to lose his appetite for cat food. We found that the only thing he would eat was canned tuna. Starkist has been getting more of our money lately than usual.

    He just gets weaker and weaker. His loud meow grew softer. Then turned into a little yip sound. And now that, too, is gone. And his purring has been silenced. Things must be really bad when you cannot even purr.

    He is not eating at all. He still struggles to get to his water bowl. If he gets no assistance, he usually collapses once or twice while trying to get there or to his litter box so we watch over him and carry him where it appears he wants to go. Most of the time, when he uses the litter box, he makes his little wet spot and then ends up laying down in the sand until he can get up enough energy to continue on. We feel so sorry for him but we know that there is simply nothing else we can do for him. He does not cry out in pain and we wonder if it would be better to have him put down but I cannot beleive that he would opt for that. He struggles to live, not to die.

    His life has been reduced to three spots in our house, the water bowl, the litter box, and his bed. He sleeps on a blanket in the living room just at the edge of the Christmas tree (always his favorite place this time of year). Death cannot be far off for poor old Seymour.

    A lively little 2 year old calico named Gidget races through our house now. Another good mouser, she watches over Seymour. She seems to know.

    She is not so fond of being held. She has showed no signs of shaking hands either. Not yet. But she is young. She may yet shake my hand. She also may well outlive me.

    We all have had cats that seemed to love us in their own way. In my 63 years, I have never had a cat as truly loving as Seymour and I am unlikely to ever find another like him. He seems to think of me as his really very special human. How disappointed he may now be that I cannot save him from his woes.

    The first half of his life was hell. I can only beleive the second half has been much better.

    I have known a lot of people who did not like cats, typically because they could not make cats do what they wished. I feel sorry for those people because they just do not get it. They do not know what they have been missing. And I am glad that fate brought Seymour to me. He is surely my once-in-a-lifetime cat.

  • I am sorry you lost your cat, but next time before kitties dies in front of your eyes I strongly urge you to take him/her to a 24 hour emergency vet. I’ve lived in 5 states and have yet to be in a town that doesn’t have one. Even my tiny town here has 3.

  • EbJoeW

    Seymour died about 7 AM on December 6th, 2008. He will certainly be missed around here.

    I have great respect for vets and I have used 24 hour emergency vets before. Erin, your town may have 3 but we live in the country. There are 3 small towns around us, each about 6 miles away. None of them have a 24 hour vet. The county seat is about 20 miles distant and they do not have one either. When Eeyore first contracted heartworm, we took him at 3 AM to the nearest one which is about 45 miles away in the county seat of the next county.

    They misdiagnosed his problem and charged us $750 for the “service”. We managed to get him to our usual vet in our county seat the next morning where they did figure out what was going on. Their treatments kept him going for a few months but he still died. That just happens sometimes.

    Geri ran off and a few months later managed to get hit by a car so there was no chance of a vet helping her.

    Tom was about 18 as I recall when he died in his sleep one night under my computer desk where he always slept. Although his health was slipping some (his water consumption had increased which often indicates the start of kidney failure), it was about normal for a cat so old.

    Seymour was close to 20 years old which is quite elderly for a cat. We expect that if we had taken Seymour to the vets, they would simply have advised us to have him put down. His time had simply come. We did not want to make him uncomfortable with strangers who poked and prodded him and stuck him with needles. He spent some of his last hours snuggled down comfortably on my chest, being petted by my wife, and then laying in his favorite spot under the Christmas tree, where he breathed his last.

    Those who treat their cats without dignity and respect do not find out what fine creatures they are and how close to being human they are inside. And just like humans often elect in their latter years to sign Do-Not-Resuscitate orders to prevent their own frustration with a prolonged and pointlessly long death, we are responsible for making the best decisions on behalf of our pets. We discussed at length whether we should take Seymour to the vet. It just did not represent the best option for him.

    Later on December 6th, I went out in a snowshower in the afternoon after the weather warmed up to about 28 degrees and managed to dig his grave. Then we laid him to rest there, next to his feline friends, Geri, Eeyore, and Tom.

  • Cassandra

    EbJoeW, bless you for giving Seymour the love, respect and compassion he deserved. It sounds as if you were both lucky to have had each other, each of your lives enriched by the other.
    Our feline family members that pass are never forgotten. When we allow a cat into our lives and hearts the impression they leave after years of friendship and companionship is indelible. Again, God Bless you for your kindness and Happy Holidays. Thanks for sharing your memories of Seymour.

  • mary browning

    All of us had sad events. Fluffy Cat is no more. We just went into the bedroom and saw her lying there with her paws crossed and she was gone. How good for her that she didn’t have a long illness and pain. The vet said that she had a heart attack.

    We miss her sadly. She was a great cat and she had been taken into our family as a cat that had been abused. She was a bit removed at first (a few years) but she came to love us as we did her.

    We have just taken two Burmese kitens and we are all so happy, including the kittens

    We all remember Fluffy so fondly and are very happy that that she didn’t have a long or painfull illness before she died.


  • sheryl

    It’s just before Christmas, and my friend is dying. she’s wrapped up in my sweaters, and is preparing to leave us. Whether it’s the first beloved friend, or the fifteenth, their passing doesn’t get any easier. She’s been with us for eighteen years, through the birth of my children and into their teens. Pets are God’s ultimate gift to us – unconditional love. I know that such creatures don’t just end when they stop breathing. We have had too many experiences that show us their souls live on. We have often, over the years, heard and felt our cats after they were gone – not in every case, but in enough that we got the point. They purr, sleep on our bed (oh boy), and stay close. You may hear them, you may ‘feel’ them. My husband used to think that I was nuts, until he experienced the same thing. My sisters (also animal lovers) have also experienced this. That may not happen to most people, so I want to share this with you. Everything that God has created has a soul, energy. If you love, and they love in return, then please know that when they pass, it’s like taking off a winter coat, and leaving it behind when spring comes. Doesn’t make it easier on us, the ones who grieve for their company, but how could it be any other way? Creatures who love with no strings attached, isn’t this what everyone tries to achieve in their own lives? Don’t our pets teach us about love without conditions – teachers of the most important life lesson. God bless.

  • JColt

    Sargent is the cat my family took in about 16 yrs ago. He was an outdoor cat when we took him in and he never stayed inside except for winter and the hot summer days. The whole neighborhood knew Sargent and took care of him but he always was here. He was funny. Grumpy and growling in the house but lovable as can be out side. He would lay across the sidewalk and stop people to be petted and loved kids.

    He had a few lives. Once he had Haemobartonella. It is a parasite that lives in flea saliva that attacks red blood cells. Found him on dining room floor and he was cold to touch. $600.00 later he was ok. Another time he got locked into a house of a neighbor that moved and was there for a couple of weeks. My son heard a faint meowing and we rescued him. Hungry and thirsty.

    This time we had not seen him for awhile and came home about a month ago. He was pretty skinny but seemed ok other wise. He was eating but losing weight. Last Fri I took him to vet. They ran blood test’s. They gave me medicine to start him on and called me Sat to say he had an infection and keep giving him medicine and bring him back in next Fri.

    I went looking for him this morning to give him meds. He was laying in front room just staring and not moving. I knew he was dying. I picked him up and put him on my lap figuring to comfort him. He started yowling and I put him down. He started vomiting blood. He would lay still for a few min’s, let out a yowl then vomit again. It was not quick, this lasted an hour or so. The whole time I was rubbing him and telling him it was ok to go. I cried so hard and still am. Just yesterday he seemed to be better. I begged for him to go quickly but it didn’t happen. It’s going to be a rough night. It just keeps playing in my mind.

    Anyway, Sargent, Miss you and hope you know I loved you and so does the rest of the family. Bye meanboy

  • James

    One December day in 1999, I looked up from my computer to see a small, but regal charcoal and white cat sitting on my windowsill. I thought that she was just stopping for a snack, because she was a lovely young girl. Even though she had no tag, I supposed that she must belong to someone nearby. I fed her and she ate as if she had not eaten for a while. For a while, I called her Hungry because she had a voracious appetite. As she stayed on, I changed her name to Gypsy, thinking that she was just passing through. Although she didn’t leave, the name stuck. Two months later, I had to have my dog euthanized. I wondered if God had sent Gypsy to help me through that difficult time. Gypsy stayed with me until she crossed over today, January 6, 2009.
    Gypsy was an elegant lady. She didn’t roughhouse with the males of the pack. She stood above such child play. Her coat was always groomed elegantly, especially for an outdoor cat with a great deal of white. She loved to sit on the windowsill outside of the kitchen, where she begged for someone to give her a treat or snack. She more often sit there begging for affection.
    She hit the scales at about 5 pounds, but had begun to decline. With 3 feedings a day, we kept her weight stable. She had made 5 extra trips to the vet over the last 19 months, the downhill slide had begun. But there were no indications that the end was near until yesterday morning when I noticed a distinct wobble when she walked. As I watched her last evening, she appeared confused and had poor control of her extremities. I suspect that the end was brought on by a series of strokes. She passed during the night. We buried her early this morning.
    She leaves behind 3 male feline and many human friends. One of the feline arrived here when he was very young and should not have been taken from his mother yet. Gypsy took him in and became the mother that he needed. I worry about the three left behind. Was she the glue that held the pack together? Because of allergies in the family, they are all outdoor cats, so they come and go at will. But Gypsy was always here, she had no desire to go. She was home.

  • Mary

    Hi Everyone
    I have been reading everyone’s comments and have been really touched by what has been written.
    I wonder if anyone has any thoughts about what I should do…
    My cat has been missing since Wednesday night when I let her out.
    She is 18, has hyperthyroidism (medicated), early stages of kidney failure and also a tumor (which wasn’t known to be cancerous, but had grown very large). She is very thin but was eating a little and was still very lively when I let her outside.
    Since she hasn’t returned, I have gone through the whole process of trying to find her. I think she probably found a nice cozy place to sleep and just never woke up.
    I wish I hadn’t let her out for the night, but it isn’t an unusual thing for me to do (she often stays out at night). I didn’t expect that would be how she would go.
    She was all smoochy the night before, so at least I have that.
    I really just want to say good-bye properly.
    When I was putting ’round flyers, I saw another cat go under a nearby house and was thinking of asking if the neighbors would check under their house to see if my cat is there, but I don’t know if I should, especially if we can’t get at her. I don’t even know how long I would have to get her body to the vet so she can be cremated (I don’t have a big enough yard to bury her in).
    If anyone has thoughts on this, it would be very much appreciated.

  • Mary

    Hi again
    I just had a neighbor call.
    He said he has seen a number of cats go in under the house I mentioned and that he would probably have a look with a flashlight himself since the neighbors are away at the moment.
    That has given me some courage and I may have a look myself.
    I don’t know how we will get her out if she is there, though.
    Best wishes to you all.

  • Mary

    I have tried to have a look but with no success – you cannot easily see under the house for any distance whatsoever. I guess I will just have to wait until the neighbors are back…

  • Mary

    My cat is deceased. On Tuesday I looked on our local website which shows missing and found cats. My cat had been found on Sunday two streets away and was taken to the SPCA. I called and spoke with someone there. My cat was in a very bad state when she was brought in and was euthanized. Although everyone was pretty sure from my description that it was her, I went in yesterday and identified her. She didn’t look too bad. And I was able to give her a bit of a pat. Her fur was still soft. Poor thing. Apparently she had been hanging around where she was found for a couple of weeks. I wonder if she got lost or just wasn’t well enough to come back. I am glad whoever found her brought her in to the SPCA so she didn’t have to suffer anymore. I asked them to pass on my thanks to the people who brought her in. At least I know what happened to her and that someone was looking out after her. And I will have her back home. I am having her cremated and will get her ashes on Tuesday. Then I will bury her ashes out back by the bush where she liked to sleep in the dappled sunlight.

  • kate

    I love cats very much, i agreed to give a home to a little kitten who had been dumped in a box with her brothers and sisters. She had been to small to be taken from her mother. This was 19 months ago. She became my best friend and a very loving, special little girl.

    Yesterday i came home to find a note on my front door it said.

    Sorry but poppy has been killed, She’s in the bin on the main road best not to look, very sorry.

    Im sat here crying, i cant stop. i haven’t slept and i cant eat. I know that this will pass but i just hurts so much.
    i really wanted my little girl to live a long happy life.

    But what is really upsetting me is she deserves better than to be in a bin, she is still there but i cant bring myself to go and get her and give her a little dignity as i know she was hit by a car and she will not be in a nice state.

    What makes this worse is it seems that this was no accident, cats are not liked very much in cyprus and it appears that someone has swerved the car to hit her on purpose.

    Some people are so evil she was not a pest or stray she was part of my family and now she is dead in a rubbish bin down the street before she even had her second birthday.

  • bliffle

    As consolation, Kate, just consider that you gave that kitten a caring and loving experience that she might never have had but for your effort. And that she reciprocated with a loving experience that will always be with you.

  • Mo

    Lost Muffin 3-10-0

  • Mo

    Hello, On 2-16-09 I had to have my 15 year old hyperthroid cat put to sleep. He had been on thyroid meds for three years and the last year or so have been really tough because he hollered day and night, then the last week or so he wouldn’t eat at all> It was really a blessing to have his put at peace. Well, after he was gone, I was so grateful to have my Beloved Muffin who was only 10 1/2. On a Tuesday, Muffy stopped eating, two days later she had a seizure in the middle of the night and when I went to comfort her, her pupils were fixed and dilated and she tried to get up but could not walk. Took her to the Emergency Vet and he said that her blood sugar was dangerously low in the 20 range and it should be up to the 70 range. He gave her glucose and told me I could take her home and to follow up with my own vet in the morning. While I was paying my bill, she started shaking all over again and it was another seizure. They gave her more glucose and valium too. Brought her home and she was almost like the size of a basketball with all the fluids in her. I followed up with my own vet in the a.m. and he felt her and he said that she had a lump the size of a lemon behind her liver which he thought to be cancer but he asked me to leave her so he could take tests and return at 5:00 p.m. I returned at 5:00 p.m. and he said he has the worst possible news, that she has a mass on her pancreas and intestine and that he really should do a biopsy but that she was too weak to do so. He gave me a syringe and soft canned food and told me to force feed her every hour and to also give her a sweet substance every four hours to keep her blood sugar up. I did this and 24 hours later, everything came up. Muffy was able to walk or stagger to the litter box and she drank water and also licked lamb food off of my finger and I was hopeful she would recover. I started feeding her with the syringe about every 3 hours and that seemed to stay down. Two days later, I was out for a couple of hours and when I returned home, she was laying on her side behind my sofa with her pupils fixed and dilated. I picked her up and she whimpered and I held her on my lap until the wee hours of the morning and petted her and told her how much I loved her. The following morning, I found her laying on her side again on the bathroom floor next to the toilet bowl again with pupils fixed and dilated. I couldn’t bear to see her suffer like this anymore as I loved her so much. She was like a child to me and slept next to my shoulder for the 10 1/2 years that I had her. I brought Muffy to the Vet that morning when they opened and sat with her as the vet gave her the injections. It took about 30 minutes as the vet said she was so dehydrated that there was a problem finding a vein.

    What shocks me to this day is how suddenly my little Muffy became ill. On the previous Sunday, I was making Carrot cupcakes and she jumped on the counter as she wanted to sniff around and I had to chase her away. Then the following day, I had a chicken breast on the counter and I turned around to turn my Geo. Foreman Grill on and Muffy was running away on the counter with the raw chicken breast in her mouth. Then the following day she wouldn’t eat and two days later the seizures began.

    I loved her so much and I have not cried so hard since I lost my Mom 40 years ago. I will never forget her and she will always be in my heart. I have her ashes on my TV with a photo on the front of the container and I want to purchase some cremation jewelry so I can have a small amount of the ashes inside the heart and wear it around my neck. But it has been three weeks ago yesterday that I lost her and I just can’t bear to have the container opened. I don’t believe I will ever get over this and it is almost like I am numb a large part of the time and sometimes I have to force myself to get out and do something because I actually feel as though I am going to be faint or ill to my stomach. Muffy and I did love each other unconditionally and what helps me getting thru this, is the thought that we will always be together and that we will see each other gain. Thanks so much for allowing me to share – God bless.

  • heidi

    our precious virgil died this morning at 3:01 AM. we had some time to say goodbye (5 days), but when it actually happens, it’s till very hard. both my husband and i woke up a few minutes before he died. we heard him sneeze, once and then sneeze again. it was a normal kind of sneeze, not at all like the few noises he had made earlier. i felt his little body for breathing, and knew he was gone. we can’t help but think, he woke us up, like he always did when he wanted us.

    he had lost a lot of weight over the previous months, and stopped eating the last week, and drinking in the last days. i tried to hand feed him with watered down food, thought about baby food, then tried to give him whatever i thought he would take. he wouldn’t eat. he would drink from his special place–on the pass thru sill between the kitchen and the dining room–he liked to drink from a pitcher. he’d jump up and do that paw thing that cats do before he’d drink and then lap up the water, with drops still on his chin. the last few weeks he’d gotten weaker and more unsteady on his feet. i put chairs next to the counter so he could jump up to this water. he lost a lot of weight and was only bones, skin and hair. he would only drink in his special place. we made “beds” for him in every room in the house, but he wouldn’t stay in them very long.
    he’d always get up, something in him kept him fighting. he wasn’t in pain, and he would spend energy trying to get out when he was kept confined. we took turns taking him wherever we thought he wanted to head to.

    the last 3 days, he would sleep most of the time and be as still as can be for 30″ and then suddenly pop up his head (as if to say-I’m not ready to go yet, so i’m gonna go over there) stand up all wobbly, take a few steps, his back legs would splay out because he was so weak, take a few steps and collapse. it was as if he didn’t know he was weak and in a semi coma. he was “virgil” to the end. he just kept getting up, wobbling a few steps and collapse heading to wherever his mind told him to go to. he never made it, but that didn’t seem to matter to him.

    the vet had told us he had kidney failure. we decided to keep him at home and let him do whatever he wanted. if he was heading somewhere, we’d pick him up and take him there. we didn’t restrain him, though, i worried he still wanted to jump up, missing, and falling backward when i wasn’t quick enough.

    2 days before he died, the weather warmed up and i took him into the backyard-he loved to sit in the sun- and let him walk on the grass and wherever he wanted to go. he was able to muster a few more steps before he’s collapse. i finally held him in my arms, talking to him, telling him how much we loved him and that he would always stay in the garden in the sun in a place he loved so much. i am so glad we were able to take him outside before he died.

    it is so very comforting to read everyone’s stories about their precious cats. it is very comforting to hear about their last loving moments with their families were like. i feel so sad when i read stories where death came without warning, and feel devastated for families when there were no goodbyes.

    i feel honored to have been in virgil’s life and to have been allowed time with him. we got him and his “sister” 15 years ago and have had the privilege of loving him all his life. he gave so much love and joy to us, we are so grateful to him for the gifts he brought.

  • Mo

    Dear Heidi:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave Virgil a beautiful and wonderful life. I lost my Muffy one month and two days ago, and I feel numb a large part of the time, but I pray for God’s help in aiding me to focus on all of Muffy’s good days. I have her ashes in a beautiful wooden oak box with her photo on the front and I purchased cremation jewelry (heart on another heart) and I have a small amount of her ashes in that which I wear around her neck.

    I am praying for you and asking for God’s help for you to get thru your loss.

    Bless you, Mo

  • heidi

    dear mo,
    i think i know how you feel. i miss virgil so much, he’s everywhere in my heart but no where for me to hold.it is very hard to cope with the ache in my heart. i am so sorry you feel that pain too.

  • Mo

    Dear Heidi:

    Thank you so much for your kindness. This is the toughest that I have endured since I lost my Mom 40 years ago. I never married nor had any children so my Muffy was like my child. I just returned home from a dental appointment and both the receptionist and I are cat lovers and I talked about my loss and the tears still flow freely. I will never get over Muffy but she will always always be a part of me. I will miss her till the day I die but I trust people when they tell me that it will get a little easier with time. I still awaken during the night and think about her as she always slept next to my shoulder, and when this happens, I start to pray which gives me some comfort. I feel so blessed to have had her in my life and I try to focus on all of her good days and not the tough time that she endured in the last week of her life.

    Heidi, please know that I am praying for you and Virgil each and every day. A dear friend recommended the book “All pets go to Heaven” to me and I have tried to read it but at this time, it is somewhat difficult for me to concentrate. Sometime in the future, when I am able to pick it up and read it, I will let you know how the book is as maybe it might help you as well.

    God bless you and thank you for being there for me,


  • Mo

    Dear Heidi,

    One more thought, you mentioned that Virgil is everywhere in your heart but nowhere for you to hold, I believe that God is now holding your beloved Virgil in the palm of his loving hands, and that our beloved pets are now in a beautiful place and they are free spirits, playing joyfully just like they did when they were kittens, and there is no more pain. What can be more beautiful, you know?

    Bless you, Maureen

  • heartbroken

    My heart goes out to you all, reading this has been so comforting. I was searching the internet about cats and their souls & what happens when they die when I found this page.

    Our kitty died a week ago today, 18 years of age. She didn’t suffer, but she was in the final stages of kidney failure and we made the decision to have her put to sleep. We did everything we could to prolong her life and make it as comfortable as possible, even giving her daily saline drips at home to rehydrate her. We had her since I was 7 and i’m now 25. I’ve never felt grief like this.. the first few days were awful. I felt sick the entire time and have just started eating again.

    I know that we all have souls, but where did she go? That’s the hardest thing about it all is that she just left us and that’s it.. no signs or dreams of her or anything. And the feeling that i’m not there to protect her :/. The house is so empty without her, walking past the places she slept, everything is a reminder. The one thing that makes it a little better is knowing that I gave her all the love and affection I had and treasured every moment with her, knowing that this day would come.

    I’ll miss the way you headbutted me while making that little noise saying ‘i love you’. I’m sorry I occasionally told you to shut up in the morning when you woke me up WAY too early. I pray to God i can see you again when i die, you were the greatest friend I will ever have.
    We will miss you and love you forever, nothing will ever replace you.


  • heartbroken

    just a piece of information – the vet told us that cats with kidney problems will sometimes wander off and get lost because they’re disorientated, very sad but a good thing to know if you’re dealing with this.

    Mo: I just read your story and i’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how awful that was for you! My heart really really goes out to you
    I bet those cats couldn’t have had a more wonderful home and life with you.
    Take care

  • heartbroken

    Well i’m sorry to post yet another comment but something amazing just happened to me (still reading the stories here)
    I think my cat just visited me, I just saw a white light move around at the foot of my bed & my lamp flickered for the next 30 seconds.. I felt her here.
    this is what i’ve been waiting for!
    Thank you kitty i love you!!

  • Hillary

    I too feel better having read this, since I’ve been online every day looking for comfort since my baby Nala passed away in my arms on Monday night.

    She fought kidney failure for four entire years, way outliving her prognosis. She was nearly 14 years old, and I brought her and Simba home the same day from 2 separate shelters, so they could grow up together as a team. Simba was with us through the entire process, including those last moments of her life – and while he wanted nothing to do with saying goodbye to her lifeless body, he has to have known that she was fading away and the constant attention I was giving her at his expense wasn’t for good cause.

    He’s been absolutely wonderful to me these last few days, just sitting and looking at me while I cry, letting me know that he was there for me, but asking for nothing in return. I’ll be there for him again soon, but Nala was all about her mama – and knew the perfect way to hold my finger with her paw, make me giggle as she kneaded her pillow, and gave me the best hugs on earth. And Simba, well he’s a total lover who’ll sit on my guests’ laps and purr the minute they walk in – but is just a little bit more on his own agenda when it comes time for my pursuit of furry affection. Nala and I went through quite a road together, with all the pills, needles, special diets, and hospitalizations – and those daily med sessions were our own special bonding time. I’ll miss her so very much. My morning routine which took 15 minutes is now reduced to 1. The house could not feel emptier for me and the boy.

    My only struggle was at the time of her death – and I can’t seem to find my answers anywhere online. Some others here have touched on it, and I am starting to feel better as I read. But my mind is tortured with thoughts of her last moments of life. I had no information from my vet about what to expect, and my euthanasia scheduled for the next day suddenly seemed too far away, but there was little I could do by the time I saw it coming. Her condition had deteriorated as others had described – and within days she had gone from one swollen paw to four as the edema set in, and on her last day she couldn’t even sit up, let alone walk. I tried giving her meds that morning, hoping it would make her feel better, but at the last 2 pills she looked at me with a very clear face that said, please…just stop. And for the first time in 4 years, I did. I spent every other hour that day just holding her and telling her it was ok to let go. And 7pm, I came home from a walk outside to find her lifting her head and to give me a couple of meows. I later thought that was to make sure I knew not to leave her side again. We strolled around on the terrace, then I fed her a few bites of fresh chicken which she gobbled up by instinct until she realized it was too tiring to swallow, and she refused the water I tried to give her by oral syringe. We sat again together, and this time she was ready to give up her fight.

    The trauma for me was what had ensued next. She started gagging violently, as if she needed to vomit – and then her bladder released. I turned her onto her stomach in case she did need to vomit, and with that she somehow rediscovered the ability to move, and she forcefully changed position and scrambled to the end of my knees and stretched out her entire body. The violent gagging continued, now with her pale little tongue twisting in all sorts of contorted ways, and her paws clenched as if she were terrified and in severe pain. I couldn’t watch all of it, and I just cried for the suffering to be over, and at some point it was. I asked if she was still with me, but without even an ear twitch upon my touch, I just knew that she wasn’t.

    I was devastated by what I had seen – and angry that the vet hadn’t told me what to expect if she died on her own. I felt guilty that I didn’t euthanize her earlier in the day, realizing that might have prevented such a painful death. And now I’m just desperately seeking information.

    My vet later told me what I witnessed was likely agonal breathing, which happens in most animal deaths regardless of euthanasia. So many others claim that their animals died peacefully in their arms, and I just wonder, did they not experience this as well? And my most pressing question is – and please tell me the truth – was she still alive and feeling the pain of what I had witnessed. My mom has tried to make me feel better by saying she probably wasn’t really conscious, but I never saw her lose consciousness the entire time and to me it sure looked like an experience she was present for. I’m guilt-ridden by the thought of her in such pain, and I’m rather traumatized by seeing my little baby go through that as well.

    Can anyone explain the physiology of death and at what point they’re really considered “gone”?

    Sorry for such a long posting. I love you chick pea and will miss you so very much. I hope I can find the right resting place for you, enough to be nearby your mama but far enough away to play in grass and hear the sound of birds rather than our noisy streets below. Big hug xoxo

  • Victor

    About a month ago I lost 1 of my 4 cats. She was 12 years old. She had started to lose control of bodily functions in the last 2 weeks of her life. There was a flea problem that struck all 4 cats but that was taken care of. Now on this night before Thanksgiving my nephew’s cat, only 6 years old appears to be dying. He had been to the vet a week ago for problems with his ears. Now he’s listless and vomiting yellow. We expect the worst.

  • Randy

    My cat LuckyGirl passed today. Jan 08, 2010 5:20 pm est. She was born Nov 1992. Give or take a week or so. I had heard crys on that cold November night. I knew she was just a small kitten. I could not see where she was had. So being so tired from traveling home. I forgot until the next afternoon. Once I looked I found here in the fence row. All most dead from exposer. Well that story end today 17 yrs 6 wks. I knew a couple fo days ago something was wrong. But also I knew from her age. Most vets would suggest putting an animal that age down. But we stayed with her she died at home. With us at her side. Gone but in a better place. I have read the other storys an they sad but help. Thanks Everyone! I hope Luckys story helps with someone else’s lose. RLJ

  • Cem

    I lost my cat today.He was only 4 and half years old.I feel so much pain inside and hope he rests in peace.

  • Sharon

    Im so glad i found this site as my beloved cat “Brookie” died on Sunday. Until now I never knew losing a pet could hurt so much. My heart is broken and for days I have cried and still am. My little girl was my best friend and wonderful companion around our home. I find myself looking for her expecting to see her around the next corner. It hurts because i know i will never hold her little face in my hands again. I really hope there is such a thing as heaven so I might touch her again someday. Sadly Brookie was attacked by a neighbours dog. We found her rushed her straight to the vets. They operated on her, I thought we had made it through this awful experience but three weeks later at home she just died. I have been through a gamut of emotions from remorse to regret to guilt because she ended her life so tragically. I wont the world to know how much I loved my BROOKIE. I will miss you forever my friend. Thank you to everyone else for sharing your story, I dont feel so alone anymore and silly for the real ache that I feel inside my heart.
    Sharon and Brooke forever…

  • Sharon

    Dear Heartbroken
    I was searching the internet today to find out about cats and their souls. Where their spirits might go. I too came across this site. I have cried a river reading all these stories and truely feel comforted, because I too am heartbroken and wonder how long my heart will endure this ache. Sharon and heartbroken too.

  • Candice Solomon

    My cat just died Yesturday morning. He became suddenly ill and during the day progressively got worse. We could not figure out what was wrong with him,he showed no signs.Like you it was too late to go to the vet so we thought he would make it until morning.When I awoke the next morning he was laying on the floor on the landing near the stairs.His tail was protruding out and all puffed up. I picked up his tail and it was stiff. I told my husband that I think he was gone,and my husband swore he saw him breathing and thought he was still alive.This is very devastating to me.Everything happened so suddenly. My cat Jerry was only 1year and 6 months old.I cannot shake the guilt that I feel with his loss.I can’t stop crying because he was my best bud,and I loved him so much.He loved me to and unconditionally.He was always with me in everything I’d do,and has left a hole in my heart. I am profoundly greiveing over this sudden loss, and a void that was once filled with his presence has come back. I am writting this in hopes that it will help me with my grief,and to seek support from others that I do not have at home.

  • misszoe

    reading these entries have been therapeutic. my cat died last weekend. we put her “to sleep” the day before her birthday. i have moments when i feel so touched by her sweetness and innocence and i miss her so much. she was a day shy of 11. and like so many of you expressed she journeyed with my husband and i– through our relationship, between states, with new baby. i miss her soft fur and loving looks. she understood how to give to us and ways i never experienced. i know she was happy but i feel sad that i wasn’t able to help her battle cancer.
    we buried her in the front yard and i talk to her when i pass it– she’ll never leave me.

  • Jake


    My cat Missy died monday afternoon around 5:30. She had a stroke a couple hours before that. I took her to the vet and had to have her put to sleep. She was 13 years old. It just doesn’t feel the same around here with her gone now. I keep seeing her face looking up at me while i was on the way to the vet. She looked so scared and just not her usual sweet looking self. It brings tears to my eyes. Now I keep thinking and hoping that i will see her walking around the corner to watch me eat, or to get in bed and cuddle up next to me, or sit on my lap while i surf the net or watch TV. I feel like I’ve lost a child or a sibling, I really do. It’s truly heart breaking :'( I think pets deserve to be missed and remembered just as much as people do. They have souls just as we do, i know they do. Gentle souls. I will miss my precious Missy always and she will always have a special place in my heart.

  • Jake

    I love you Missy girl!!!

  • Marguerite Loftheim

    Our KC passed away in my arms last week after a valiant battle with cancer and diabetes. Reading the comments brings sobs and tears as KC must have been giving us the same messages. He was fine one day and then all of a sudden he couldn’t walk and wouldn’t eat. He wanted to be close to us. I took him to the vet’s. He spent the day with a tube into him. I picked him up and when I brought him home he was standing and drinking water. I thought we are on the mend. I put him on his blanket in the kitchen near food and liter. Went to bed. Around 3 am he made a loud calling noise and I immediately went to him. He as on the floor near his litter box. I put him in and he cried. I laid him down and went to get a pillow to sleep with him for the rest of the night. I had slept with him the night before. Cradling him in my arms telling him I would not let him suffer. That morning I picked him up and held him and all of a sudden he looked right into my eyes. I screamed for my husband and he came and sat with us and cried ans KC let urine loose and was gone. I wrapped him in his yellow blanket and put him on my husbands chair. It was one of KC’s favorite places to sleep. I sat there hoping he would move. His eyes were open. My wonderful vet came the next morning to get him because I think I would have kept KC here for the day just to be sure. I miss him so much and know I will see him again. Wait for me KC. Mama will be there.

  • Marguerite Loftheim


  • Marek

    Reading these posts from you all helped me so much. My cat, Kicia passed away today early morning in my girlfriends lap in the car on the way to a 24 hour open veterinary clinic. She was 6 years old.

    I first met Kicia when out of a little lonelyness I visited an animal shelter, with no actual intention of walking out with one. However, Kicia (then a 12 week old kitten) reached with her paw at my fingers from in between the cage bars and I could not leave without her. She became my new family here in my new country that I now am fortunate to call home, Canada.

    Kicia was a wonderful cat. She was all black with short soft fur and a white patch on her belly, and had the most beautiful green eyes. She was playful and had a very strong character.

    Kicia was diagnosed with cat asthma about two years ago. She had episodes of heavy breathing and this one simply did not pass. After I heard her last miau, my girlfriend asked me to stop the car and burst into tears. I did, and I turned around, and had found my cat lying lifeless on my girls lap. It was midnight, may 22nd on a dark highway. I had never felt more helpless in my entire life.

    Kicia, you were much too young to go like this. You were my fist companion that was always there for me as I sought to make a home for myself. Words cannot describe how much I will miss you. I sometimes dreamed of buying a home and allowing you to roam the surroundings, and it breaks my heart that I will have to realize this dream without you here. You shared all my ups and downs and as friends and partners came and went, you were there to share my joy and heartbreaks. I could have never asked for a better cat than you were to me.

    I believe we will be reunited one day, when my time here is up. You will once again jump on my lap and purr when I pet you, and miau loudly in the morning to be fed before I have to leave for work.

    Your always, wherever you are.

  • melissa

    To add my own story, I assisted a cat dying this weekend. Unfortunately for the cat, there was a fairly big sign. The poor thing spent about two days dying– lying listlessly, refusing food, water. He peed once where he was, unable to get up. His breathing would speed up and he would meow as in pain, then it would quiet and he would sleep or stare. Sometimes he seemed to recognize me, sometimes not. The final hour he went through different seizures, each one painful. The last few he leaned his head back into me, crying in pain. He made what were several horrific dry heaves, as if his stomach were turning inside out. Then his entire body stretched in a terrible cramp, and it sounded like he was being squeezed like a balloon. Then he went limp. I too swore his heart was still buzzing (but not beating) but he was limp and warm, with no more obvious life in him. I was 100% sure he was done, and I was able to leave him in box and go take care of myself since the cat-hospice time was over. When he was stiff, several hours later, we buried him. As sure as I was, I had a horrible sense that he wasn’t quite “dead” and a moment of panic before we buried him. His owner assured me he was gone, and of course he was.
    I wish euthanasia had been an option, but over the memorial day weekend our vets were closed except for expensive emergency places.
    At least he died in the company and comfort of a friend, and not in a field or on a floor alone. It’s only a cat, but the scriptures state clearly to be kind to all creatures. My condolences to anyone reading here who has lost a beloved pet.

  • ross borak

    Yesterday I had to put down my sweet little Persian Ranger. She has been my buddy for 16 years. I loved her so much. We had a bond that was really special. She was always with me. Ate every meal with me. Stayed behind the curtains to shower with me. Slept on my belly at night. Just always right next to me to provide comfort. Never begged for a treat or a pet, just acceptd them when offered. So unconditional in her love in every way possible. I am having a really hard time and wish I could see her and touch her one more time. She was 16 on 5/27 but in such good health until 5 days ago. I wish everyone in this world would be nicer to animals and realize the pure joy they bring. I love you Ranger and thanks so much for 16 incredible years. I will never forget you and promise to think of you each and everyday for the rest of my life. When I die I will have your urn and ashes buried with me. Perhaps we shall one day have the chance to be together and I will see that great sweet face. Love Ross

  • Jermaine

    Hi, I’m so glad to have come across this site. My cat died last night aged 23. I am 25 years old and I live with my dad, since my mum left home when I was 10 I took reasonability for looking after my cat as dad isn’t pet person really. He would follow me to school, if I’d go past my house with my friend he would continue to follow me and even cry for me outside their houses. I was so close to him from looking after him for so long, he was the most spoilt cat so often I would have to offer a number of foods until he liked one, and then the next day he wouldn’t like it! Anyway im now 25 and tom had a accident when a couple of years ago. My sister came home and he came towards her car as often he would just walk right towards our car wheels so we had to get out and move him. One day my sister thought he would move if she kept going slow but tom didn’t move so she drove over his foot. I got the call from her and thought that was the end, when I got the vet his leg was flopping and he looked so scared at me, I cried so much that night whilst he had a operation to remove the leg. Tom recovered after the opp, although he became a indoor cat which as he was old he tended to like being in at that age. For the past two years it has been hard work looking after him as since the opp he started to wee himself but more often than not he was ok. I’ve been living in my room having to remove my bed sheets each morning to stop tom trying to jump up as he would wee himself and to be honest I think a lot of people would have and suggested that I give up on him then but no I’ve lived with him and Im glad I did until his end. I have read some comments on here and toms are very similar, he had a scab on his head which had always been there. The last three months it started to discharge and I was cleaning him every day as it would go on side of his head. The past two weeks it became worse and was going to one of his eyes, I took him vet and they said continue to salt water clean him. Now the past three days he was continuing to wee himself, I thought he had injured his only leg and that was preventing him going to the tray but no I realise he was getting weak on his bottom half. Last night he couldnt move at all, would just put head down and I could pretty much position him and he would hold. I could tell this was going to be the end, around 11pm started being sick and it was brown stuff coming out, his chest was huffing but slowly. I cuddled him and cried and he just became unresponsive and his leg stretched out which from reading these posts sounds like that the final part. By this time I knew nothing to help tom. The next morning I checked him again even though I knew he died something still telling me it wasnt true. I have buried him in the garden and hope I can always see him. I am having a baby and moving into a new home soon and there was a real concern about what we would do. As it was new home you couldn’t having a room dedicated to him and with him weeing it wouldn’t have been good for the baby. I still told my girlfriend we would do find somewhere for tom!
    anyway whilst writing this I am looking in his spot and thinking of him. I wish he got to see my baby I even used to call tom my brother when I was little. I miss you tom and I wont ever forget the good times we had, there will never be a another pet who could mean so much as you grew up with me and Im so scared for you right now but I have to be strong and remember you live a long life and that you can rest in peace now. I’m laughing at what a silly cat you could be, thanks for being my pet and sticking with me for so long. You went through so much and you was ever so strong. Goodbye tom, forever I promise. Jermaine x

  • mary

    Many thanks to all the wonderful people who love cats. You all are angels. My parents cat died yesterday and reading all of your comments has made such a difference. He was very frail and could not walk the last day. He lay under the rose bush, when finally my dad found him and placed him in his comfy bed. The next morning he piece fully passed away. I am sure they will find us when we pass away, they have so much love that they will greet us to make it comfortable for our final journey.

  • barb

    i dont know what to do, my cat is dying and just laying there, breathing in the bathroom, changes positions, glazed eyes, I knew he would not last long but he took a turn for the worse. I could take him in and put him down but he seems to acknowledge me a little when I pet him and keeps breathing. He gets carsick, always has. I found him when some kids threw him out because tehy didnt want him. I took on his medical problems and was told he may not last through surgery, and the medication – 500 later he was allergic too. Don’t think I want to move him, but he keeps breathing harder, not fidgeting, but moving places in his bathroom. Was at one time sleeping in his catbox. Is it cruel not to bring him in to put him down. is he in pain

  • Diane

    My cat Daisy will be 20 this summer, she was born in the wild so do not exact date. Over the last few months she has struggled to groom herself but has stopped going outside to do her business. She has a liiter tray but is missing it and always goes behind chairs or corners of the room if able. So I have been clearing up very sloppy messes for weeks now. Daisy has been bright in herself although about 4 weeks ago her back legs showed signs of giving way but fully recovered.
    My BIG problem now is that I left her in a restricted space by the back door with warmth, water, food (wet and dry) and her bed, next to the cat flap and when I got home from work she has completely vanished. Daisy had eaten her wet food, left about 3 messes to clear up, but no sign of her. That was Monday evening now it is Wednesday morning. I have searched everywhere for her, garden (which is quite selfcontained with high walls for an old cat) talked to neighbours and even ventured down the pathway to the very quiet village road we live by, checking all the hedgrow. Daisy has just vanished! I do know if she is alive or dead or worse still whether she died alone in pain. I feel very gulity about not letting have more space in the house but the smell and messes to clear up were horrendous. She had been to the vets twice in the last4 weeks and been given medication to stabilize the poos.
    Feeling worried, sad and very lonely without her. Even imagining I’m hearing her cries!

  • Mary

    Diane – I hope you have found your Daisy.
    My 18 year old cat died on 29 March. She had got very thin, not eating properly, drinking a lot of water, occasionally week in back legs. Early morning I heard her cry and she was lying on her side on the floor. Quite soon after she became unresponsive although she was still breathing for over and hour. Then stopped.
    Thanks for everyone’s messages, it helps to read similar stories.
    I do hope cats have a soul.

  • Liss

    Thank you to everyone who wrote. I am so sad, my son’s 10 year old cat died this morning. She had a history of constipation and a couple years ago we spent a lot of money fixing this. This time we tried several home remedies that we read about on vet websites. She would “go” but then “not go” for many days. She eventually stopped eating and then drinking. It was a hard decision to let her die, but the treatments have been so invasive for her and difficult. We were going to bring her to the vet this morning when they opened but she died at around 7:10. My son and I were with her, in the car, bringing her to the emergency room. I am overcome with guilt that we should have taken her to the doctor sooner, last week, the week before. But we were pretty sure what the answer was there — expensive tests and invasive treatments. My son woke me up at about 6:30 to tell me she was dying. She was writhing around for about 10 minutes before she died and her breathing was on and off. I feel awful if she suffered in those last minutes. But we were both with her, telling her that we loved her. This is so much harder than I imagined. I believe her soul is in heaven and I am taking some comfort knowing that her body is at peace.

  • Diane Talbot

    My sweet Bear died on May 21st ,the day of rapture at six p.m.It was said that the Lord was going to take the chosen ones that day and it does not surprise me that He chose Bear. He was an indoor/outdoor cat but that morning he came home to die with us. He was drooling, eyes dilated and very weak. Just days before he was fine but at 14 yrs. old these things happen. He was in his favorite bed and called for me at times so I decided to hold him till the end came. I gave him a homeopathic herb for pain and he stopped crying. We sat on the back porch and listened to the birds of which he was so fond of though that feeling was not reciprocated. My dogs sat with us and were unusually quiet. I petted him throughout and told him how I loved him and he was mt best boy ever. He suddenly hunched forward and let out a long howl and then relaxed. Bear did not go quietly as he had cheated death twice before and knew this foe well. I am not an over religious person but I felt that Bear had released his soul when he went. We buried him under the bird feeder(where else) .I have cried every day since and will miss this creature till the day I die .

  • Tammy

    Our little black friend, our 3 year old cat, Zen, died Sunday (Father’s Day), just before midnight. I have such a broken heart and I miss him so very much. He had not been eating for 3 days, and grew increasingly listless. He tried to hang on for me, I am sure. I don’t know exactly what was wrong; he had been having trouble urinating, and I thought my efforts were helping him feel better. Somehow, all day I had flash visuals of him no longer being with us. Our other cat seemed to keep his distance that last day….

    My daughter is 15, and has been in as much grief and pain, though she is convinced that he is returning. He left us a strange sign, very typical of him. The next day after he died, we went to find a burial spot, just perfect for him. We returned late in the day, and my daughter frantically called me to the bathroom. There were two distinct spots of cat pee, sprayed on the mirror. There is NO physical, possible way for them to get there, it would be impossible. They were up high on the mirror, and someone would have had to pick up a cat, turn him backside to the mirror, put his butt against it, and force him to spray. It is just not possible, and I know it was my little Zen, telling us somehow, that he is okay now. One spot, which was lower on the mirror, had tiny white flecks in the pee and looked dirty. The white flecks made me think of crystalization…? And the other was clean. My daughter smelled it initially, and no mistake, it was pee. What a little weirdo! We always teased him about being so ‘dirty’; he used to sit on the edge of the litter box, scratch a hole so deep, and then poop. Only he would be facing the wrong direction. 🙂 He would kick litter around right after we swept, making a huge mess. The litter box was in the bathroom, so it seemes fitting to find pee on the bathroom mirror, where we would be sure to notice it and there would be no denying it came from him. It can’t be denied, there is no explanation for it. It is such a void not having him around….I cry incessantly at times. My daughter felt him sit on the couch cushion behind her head yesterday. She feels him around. Our other cat doesn’t seem to miss him, which bothers me, and I feel mad at him, a little. But she believes it’s because they had a conversation, and he knows Zen will return, that his body just couldn’t hold him anymore. I am plagued with guilt, feeling like it was my fault….I kept giving him water in a dropper, to keep him hydrated. He couldn’t pee it out. He died tragically; my daughter saw him convulse and choke, and held him as he looked up at the night sky, watching the trees blow in the wind, and his little body went limp and his head slumped in her arms. He was gone. We believe he was waiting for me to not be around while it happened, knowing I could not take seeing it that way. At about 11:45 p.m. my daughter told me to get the laundry she had forgotten in the dryer, so I left, and she said he jumped off her lap, and all the violent turmoil inflicting him was unseen by me. He knew she could handle it better. When I came back, he was on the floor, mouth open, and I knew he was dying. I actually think I knew all day, and I think he tried to once but I caught him, so he stayed with me awhile longer. I miss his physical presence beyond belief. I miss his tiny paws, his silky black fur, his meows when he wanted food, his weird and cute little ways. He was so young still. The comfort I can find right now comes from knowing that he knew how very much he was loved by us. He was safe and warm and fed, a perfect cat life. I just need to erase the thoughts and images associated with his final hours, and the guilt is not helping me so I have to release it as well. I will, because I understand the value. For now, I am processing through this with the help of my beautiful daughter, and she brings me back to the beautiful memories we have of him, never to be forgotten.

    I miss you Zen, so very, very much. I can’t wait to see you again someday, in this life or next, and I picture you lazily licking yourself, content and peaceful, and free from the pain you must have went through on Sunday, that I saw in your eyes. I felt so very sad for you all day, and i am so sorry I couldn’t help you. I have to keep remembering, if it was meant to be different, it would have been. I love you my little friend, forever and ever.

  • Shelley

    My Adam was taken by a coyote off our back step yesterday. He had been with us for 11 years, 4 months and two weeks. He was a stray and quite enjoyed the luxury of carpets, soft couches, beds and duvets. We got him from a friend’s place after my mother died, I thought he would be company for my father while I was at work. And he was. He was a wonderful companion, mischievous, loving, a real sweetheart, I have lost pets before, this time I am completely devastated. All I can think of is his last moments and how I wasn’t there for him. I told him, I loved him, everyday. You will always be in my heart Adam, you were the perfect little kitty

  • B.R.

    Shelly, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to lose a member of your family like that.

    I lost my old guy Tygh on 8/26/2007, 18 years after I got him. He’d lost 3 of his friends, Sally, Samantha & Paul, over the years, and had made a new friend, Ferguson, just a little over year before. Tygh could get along with just about anyone, human, feline or canine. I think he influenced Fergs, because while our other cats might not like each other, they all get along with him.

    I’ll never forget Tygh, or any of my ‘kids’.

  • Mariel

    I sympatise with all who lost a dearly loving pet. I write this with tears in my eyes. I lost my baby boy, because thats what I called my black cat of 8 yaers Fritzi. The vet could not make out exactly what was wrong with him,the blood tests apart from a low blood count did not reveal much but he grew thinner,had a lump in belly ,diarrhea which dragged on for 11 months. He could not control his pee in the end and I felt utterly guilty to deprive him from entering in certain rooms in the house,he was my baby who talked to me ,hugged my he was adorable. Unfortunately I had to put him to sleep on the 10th of December 2010. I still miss him terribly,he broke my heart. He died in my arms,my sweetest Fritzi. Mummy still loves you and can t wait to meet you again and kiss you like I used to especially during the last weeks of your life. You are always in my heart.

  • Bea

    I got my children a kitten for easter a cute little black and white fellow. His name was Rufus. We got him all his shots, and he was just neutred a month ago, right after being neutred he wasn’t as playful or sponky as he was before which we thought would happen. Then he got diaherra , still was eating and seemed to be ok. Until a few days ago he started to continuely want to be on me, my husband or my kids shoulder right up under our chin and not leave are side which we thought was so sweet and adorable, little did we know that was his way of saying I’m sick, because he died a day later , he started to get the diaherria again, wobbled and couldn’t walk all of a sudden then he started to meow real loud and then took a few last breaths and died. It was a Sunday afternoon and we called every Vet under the sun and noone was open to help us. MY four children ages 4,9,13,16 watch this kitten only 6mos old die, I was at work , husband was home and tryed to save him. I’m am devastated and so are my children for we had become so in love with Rufus and want to know how could he go from being a happy healthy kitten to sudduenly sick and die. Should I have not gotten him neutred did that cause this? Or what could have been wrong with our baby? I haven’t stopped crying since it happened and I just want an answer to what was wrong with him that we didn’t know? What could we have done to save him ? And when does the hurt of lossing a pet go away and the guilt of not being able to help this kitten stop for me and my children?? We love and miss you Rufus you were like no other cat to us so playful and loving and we will never forget you. love always your Kitty lovin family…

  • Teresa

    My cat Tata is dying. She is an 18 year old Siamese. Her sister passed away on Easter last year. It is as hard to sit by Tata’s side as and know we are counting down the minutes as it has been when I have sat with family and friends for the same reason.
    Our pet family never asks too much from us, they are there to GIVE to us. I am a religious person and I do believe in the souls of animals. I have sent a special prayer to my Grandfather to be on the look outfor another member of my family. What a joyous day it will be when we are all reunited!

  • Laurent

    Some beautiful testimonials here.
    Kate (post 180), I relate to your story, my little cat, Mitzy, was killed in Greece a long time ago, in similar circumstances to yours.
    I didn’t realize how many of us feel similarly about our animal companions, and the void they can leave when they’re gone. I recorded a song about the passing of Mitzy. I hope this jazz walz/bossa can bring some solace, and even smiles, to fellow cat lovers who have lost a little one. You can read the lyrics and listen to the entire song for free at Waltzy for Mitzy by Laurent Carrer. Hope you like it.

  • Julie Garrett

    My cat has been super sick for a few months and now I think he’s at the end… he is very weak, tried to get off the couch and fell, can’t walk steadily, not eating or drinking .. he still purrs when I hold him but he is super thin … he threw up several times tonight; I found him with vomit on his fur and no interest in grooming himself. He doesn’t seem to be in obvious pain although I’m sure he feels terrible. A part of me wants to call the vet and have her come to the house and put him down … I don’t want him to suffer, and it’s hard watching him go through this; I would like to end it for us both. My vet feels like we should honor our pet’s dying process and let them die naturally. She feels like too many pets are put down too soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Tonight, I just held my beloved kitty and cried and thanked him for his beautiful presence. He has been a great kitty and companion, and I’ve loved him so much. I will miss him. He just showed up at my house a few years ago .. a wild feral cat who I gradually trained and we gradually fell in love until he is my little friend and companion… I called him Mean Cat b/c he was originally so fierce and used to bite. But now we call him Sweet Cat… He is sweet. Animals… we love them, but they break our hearts. Sympathy and compassion for all owners of departing kitties. We love them so.

  • Tracey

    Sid, our 9 year old British blue left his body this morning. I held him for the last 2 hours of his life. He had a tumour removed 4 weeks ago but it had spread so we knew we had little time. His back legs started to give way 2 days ago but the vet assured us that as long as he was connecting and purring then he was not in any pain. I could tell by looking in his eyes that he was comfortable.
    He laid on his side with his legs stretched out and his breathing became very slow. I was talking to him and and reassuring him. Something very strange happened though… he lifted his head to gaze upwards and then moved his back and front legs so strongly as if he was running somewhere. He did this about four times. He then had some slight gagging movements, and then settled again. His breathing became shallow and his paws became very cold. He was so peaceful with his eyes open and then he very gently bought his front paws up to his nose as if curling into a tiny ball like a baby and then his pupils dilated to the size of his eyes… it was an incredible experience… and that was when he left his body. Calmly, peacefully and surrounded by love.
    I’m so sad that he has left us and we loved him very, very much but I’m also so relieved that he was at home with his family and was allowed to die in a natural and loving environment.

  • Gez

    We found our 16 year old cat dead today after it had disappeared a week ago.
    Is it true they know when they are about to die and go to a place they are comfortable with? His eyes were open which I’ve read could be regamortise. I’m hoping he just died in his sleep. He didn’t look like he’d been I’ll.

  • Anamika Rawat

    I had my beloved baby, a turkish van killed by dogs in the early morning hours, just a week back. But the day before she was killed, she spent the entire night with us sleeping and drank her favourite drink milk almost every hour. It was strange feeling because she behaved restless and craved for attention, even though I never fell short of giving her love or showering her with affection. She was such a sweetheart that everyone fell in love with her at first sight.
    But I did have an intuition a week before and a very terrible dream of about my loss. I didnt know that i’l lose my beloved pet Bruna(who was more than my baby to me)
    I had adopted her, after she lost her way to my home. I had fallen in love with her the moment I saw her and knew that she has to be with me. Whatever little time she lived with me, it feels like eternity. She was a soulful and fun loving, indpendent cat who hadn’t reached complete maturity!
    The day she died/killed by dogs, We kept searching for her. Deep down inside I knew something is wrong with her. Much to my worst dream of my life, I saw her lay dead in front of my house!! I am unable to get out of this grief. It hard for me to ever adopt a pet because there is no replacement for Bruna. But deep down inside I belive that Bruna was a God sent Angel- who won hearts. She came for good but I hate the fact that this baby lived for just 13 months! I wish God could be more just with her and me. I miss her terribly because she and me shared a bond which was a spiritual bond and love, affection which was never enough for us both.

    Bruna, i pray to God every minute to keep you in good health. i think of you always, u were my queen with us-dear God, I have given her unconditional love so please do shower her with all your affection. She is a lovely soul who seeks love! honey, my love will always keep you warm. I miss your early morning kisses and ur licking me. I wish I could be there to save you. Bruna, do not feel lonely for I know that you shall be united with me when i come to you!
    Untill then lots of love to you bruna.
    yours beloved mother

  • Joanne

    I had been looking for my 13 year old cat all day yesterday,figuring that she was hiding.I waited,at 2:30 this morning I still could not find her so I opened up a can of catfood and the other cats came running,but not my beloved TIKI.Then I started my search–I found her cold and stiff under my bed.I just wish I knew how long she was under there before I found her.We are all grieving even the other cats are meowing throughout the house now looking for her.Funny how they didn’t alert me

  • Alice

    My cat just died, not even an hour ago. My boyfriend is outside now, digging a grave. I came inside to inquire about ‘twitching after death’, because I can’t seem to get to that 100% mark, of being sure that he’s dead. I feel too wrong sticking him in the ground without knowing for sure. I check for a heart beat; and my mind seems to play tricks on me…considering no one else hears one. However, he is dead, I believe…or so I’m told. I’ll still, weeks from now, wonder whether he was dead or not. But that’s just how I am…also, on a side note; please feel very grateful he ‘gave up the ghost’ peacefully. The cat I speak of now; just passed away in the most painful manner I’ve ever seen a living thing pass. To be honest, it looked more like an exorcism. He was in more than a little pain…and it was noticeable. That made it worse. The image is burned in my memory…and images like that…don’t go away easy…or ever at all…so please, be grateful. He gave up the ghost…he just went in peace.

  • the mystery

    i had a 4 year old cat and she had a disease and she died just like that

  • Cathy

    We have an old cat of 19 years. On Monday we were going to take her in and have her put down because of the poor shape she is in. Over the last couple of years she has become very frail. I’ve taken to keeping her in a dog cage the last 6 months because of her inability to get around well. I was afraid she would hurt herself by trying to jump on the bed. My husband and I decided not to take her to the vet and just let her die at home. I had to put my beloved dog of 18 years down two years ago and it nearly killed me. I still miss her even though we have since taken on a pound dog that is the love of our life, after swearing we would never have another dog! We also have six other dogs that nobody wanted and that were facing the pound. I love them like they were my children….which basically they are. My old cat Puss is dying. It’s killing me. I took her to bed with me last night just so she would feel close to me. This has been harder on me than it was with my dog but she is at the end of her life. God bless all of the animal lovers out there. A pet is loyal to the end and loves you I think more than your kids.

  • Cathy, there are some organizations that can send a vet to your home to perform the euthanasia, and you might want to look into that as a better option for your cat than just letting her linger on in pain or discomfort. Find out if there’s anyone in your area that offers the service, call them and talk to them about it.

    We did that a few months ago for our cat. It’s not cheap and it’s by no means easy, but far better than the distress (for all concerned) of packing Puss up in a crate and travelling to the vet and then having to go home without her afterwards.

    Think of it this way: it may be the last and best act of love that you can give her. Pets are very lucky in that euthanasia is available to them when they’re terminally ill or suffering unbearably. In most jurisdictions, we humans don’t have that option.

  • Megan

    Hi this was pretty long ago, but my cat Molly died about 3 years ago and honestly she was my best friend she was 22 When she died. Prettiest orange female tabby ever. She very stuck up but loved me and that’s really all I needed at that point in my life was her friendship. She had feline leukemia her whole life but other then that was healthy as a horse. The day she died was rather devastating. She stopping eating, drinking, moving, or using her litter box. She hid from me that day because she probably didn’t want to see the one person she loved so heartbroken. So I wrapped her in her favorite blanket and took her to the vet to ease the process of her pain. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, she licked my nose and meowed. It still hurts to this day. But she was amazing.



  • Emily

    my cat eve was really special. We had grown up together because she was 3 years older than me. When we took her to be put down it was really sad… She was only sixteen. It was 4 days agoand im still crying. The day after was the worst day because i had never spent a whole day in my life when eve wasnt alive. Goodbye Eve- I love you. R.I.P 🙁

  • I Miss My Boy

    Give all the love you can every day to your felines. That last day could come sooner than we realize. I lost my cat, a lovable indoor tabby at 12 yrs. He ate Iams dry the majority of his life. Other than being thin, I thought he was in good health and we would have many more yrs together. However he began having seizures at the end of May (at least that is when i became aware of them). They were cluster seizures and grand mal, both very serious conditions. They seemed to be in episodes, like maybe half a dozen throughout one day. I was not aware of any more until a month later toward the end of July, when another series occurred lasting again most of a day. He went to 2 vets, the first did nothing other than ‘observation’ for several days, even though I requested bloodwork. The 2nd vet prescribed phenobarbitol but I had waited a month between vets hoping the seizures would not reoccur. He had been on the med for almost 2 wks at the time he died. He ate a little that morning and even miowed enthusiastically for a vitamin treat. But a few hours later I heard a thump, he had fallen over with rigid outstretched back legs. He got up quickly, ran downstairs and made a choking sound about 4 times, fell again and never moved again. I am heartbroken. He was my alpha cat and would sit on my lap and gaze deeply at me for long periods of time. I read that seizures themselves are rarely fatal to the cat but it is the underlying condition causing the seizures that can end up killing them. I did not see the point of a necropsy – he was cremated and ashes returned to me. I do wonder a lot though whether a different diet might have made any difference. I really miss him and our special bond. I want to add that during the seizures one of my other cats would howl and hiss at him. I would call her back but according to experts, animals are in an altered consciousness during seizures and are not supposed to be aware of themselves or their surroundings.

  • Rick

    During June our “old Man” Vaughn (16 1/2 years old ) had an episode of our Texas heat and fleas that were brought over by my daughters’ dog. we thought the worse ,but we treated him and he seemed to be okay and I thought we might have him a few more years . I noticed his toe nails started getting caught in the shag rug ( he had some arthritis and had to be helped up to his running sink water ) but he still wanted food and treats at bed time .Around the 14 th of Aug. he lost control of his right leg and in 2 days both rear legs. He would drag a few steps then just lay there . Vaughn quit eating and would drink if I filled up the sink to his level to take sips. For the next few days he would just lay in place.He never showed any pain. I would take him outside so he could watch intently the backyard as I patted him and told him what an important part of the family he was and how loved he was By then he had even quit drinking, fluids were leaving his mouth , he became smelly and little quakes would move through his body. All the time I would sit with him and tell him he could let go ,but he wasn.t ready ..As I held him Sunday the 19 th, he took his last breath and suddenly went limp.My friend had told me what it felt when the life would leave their body, It is something I can never forget .For 16 1/2 years he met us at the door, played fetch , allowed me to pick him up and hold him high , and even allowed me to use him as a pillow ( I would place my head softly on him ) He never ever hissed at us or did anything except to show us love .I could not even consider to have him euthanized because of his fear of the vet’s office.He is buried but not forgotten. I ask myself why should a grown man cry and be so sad . He was so loved by all of us and an important part of the family. I can not handle another loss like this . If I brought another cat home and he lived to be Vaughn’s age , I would be 80 .I wished I could say I would be 100 , because I would have loved to have my friend another 20 years !

  • Rick, I’m sorry about Vaughn and it sounds like those 16 and a half years of companionship were a great gift for all of you.

    I fully understand the trauma for all concerned of taking a terminally ill pet to the vet for euthanasia. We had to put our boy to sleep last year who was about the same age and was sick with thyroid and kidney disease. Fortunately we found a local service that could send a vet out to our home to do the euthanasia. It was still intensely traumatic but we consoled ourselves with the thought of how much worse it would have been if we’d had to drive him to the vet’s office and come home afterwards without him.

    I hope another cat chooses your family soon and that you have many long and happy years together.

  • Rick

    Part of the reason we decided to let Vaughn pass at home was because the vet in our small Texas town does not allow you to be with your pet or hold them when the shot is administered. She takes them back to another room and the next time you see them is when they have expired.I am sure that would not have been the best for our “old Man ” or us .

  • heather

    my cat pasted today…..It’s so sad. I put him to sleep because i could see he was so tired and i had him for 15 years and i didn’t want him to be in pain….God bless cremation!!….. We’ll miss you Austin….We all love you so very dearly!!!!!!!!

  • catman

    what a bullshit story. if its stiff…its dead!! and if it aint breathing and its stiff the heat damn sure aint beating

    • Abrn45

      You’re a jackass mr. Catman!! Rude and stupid!!

      • Patti43

        You are a very stupid & uncaring person. I hope you don’t have a cat or a dog or anything else that breathes!!

    • DV

      How does heat beat?

    • Megan

      They aren’t immediateky stiff…. Lol

  • lucky1

    I felt the same way when Pete died saturday. She moaned and then coughed 3 times then stopped breathing. I was afraid to bury her until I was sure she was gone. Did she die before or after she coughed? I will never know. I wondered if her cough was her sole leaving her body. She was very still and sick all day and I was so releived to see her leave her pain behind her. Next time my pet is diagnosed with a disease I will put them to sleep sooner rather than later as I dont ever want to go thr0ough that again.

  • Gloria

    So sad my cat moaned too right be fire screaming and then a seizure he was 12-15 yrs pls , it took me 3 hrs before I put the dirt over his grave , I had to be sure he was dead , I wanted him to wake up

    • patty

      I’m sorry for your loss,my kitty Oreo just passed away with us her side,it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done,actually just about 15 minutes ago,it’s why I’m on here because she threw up what looked like blood and then died,she was old and I couldn’t have her put down,some of you May call that guy weird but sometimes it’s harder for certain people to let go,if it were not for my husband I’d be going crazy right now but I truely believe she is at peace now.no more pain,she is with her mommy in heaven.and she died knowing we loved her very much.

  • Chuck Summers

    You are weird. There are emergency vets. How dare you allow your pet to suffer?

    • danine rowe

      not everyone has that option, you piece of shit. ever heard of money? or people who live in rural areas?

      • Tori

        Even in rural areas, a vet is always on call. In bigger cities, there are ER vets. This is what credit cards are for. And I’m sure no vet would turn away a dying cat.

        • Jennifer Moore

          You are wrong. Many dying animals get turned away because the owner has no money.

          • Tori Macvittie

            I brought a dying rescue in. Called many vets and they wouldnt get it in even though it was an emergency. Found an emergency vet and came in with almost 300 cash. They said I would need more and they wouldn’t do anything past cpr. She died there.

          • YOLO

            you’re right!

    • DV

      Yea, A vet wouldn’t see my cat as he was laying there dying until I had cash up front. The cat was playing and healthy one minute and died a few hours later after falling ill while I was trying to find a vet to see him. The public encourage adopting pets, yet pet insurance don’t operate the same as insurance that you or I would get.

    • Jessie Sonnier

      How dare you be an idiot for one thing.
      Second of all, it is VERY hard to actually tell when an animal is going to die. I had my little baby girl Daisy (a pom) die earlier last year. She was on a few different meds including pain meds because she was pretty sick. My mom and I were actually discussing having her put down because we could tell she wasnt really there anymore, she stopped eating, couldnt even get her to eat chicken which she had always loved, she stopped drinking, and she never left my side at night or day time. And she ended up passing hours before we were going to take her to the vet the next morning. And NO, there was no on call vets out in this area, believe it or not, not every vet is always on call.. Its not about “how dare you allow your pet to suffer”.
      Its about loving your animal so much and not wanting them to go, its a selfishness that makes us want to hold onto our pets as long as possible. I know Daisy had been ready to go for awhile. But she was my baby girl and I just didnt want her to be gone. I still wish she were here. She didnt give a warning that she was going to go any second. She just laid her head down while she was next to me and stopped breathing. After about 30 seconds it looked like she was gasping for breath and twitching and I was freaking out because I didnt know if she was still alive or not, so I called the vet.
      They told me she was dead within seconds if not instantaneously once she stopped breathing. Once the brain stops receiving oxygen it shuts down. So even if you are not /completely/ dead, you are brain dead/completely unconscious, and will die fairly quickly. And any twitching that happens after is just the little bit of energy left in the animals nerves and muscles. People and animals can twitch hours after being declared dead.
      If I could bring my girl back from the dead I would. Even though its been about 6 months, thinking about her still makes me cry. If you can tell an animal is dying while your holding it, or is about to go relatively soon (like within a few minutes), taking it to a vet wont do anything, it’ll probably be dead before you got there and definitely wont save it. Some animals even when sick can seem fine one day, then you wake up the next to find them dead.

      Also not every vet is always on call. Sure maybe some of the more “upscale” ones do. But out here on my side of town, I’d be a few hours drive from the closest one on call at night. Id rather my pet die in the comfort of home and lying next to me than in the passenger seat of my car in the middle of nowhere.

  • lisa

    I know what you mean .I had that same experience not knowing if they’re really gone. but then…I believe the spirit of a cat stay with us as we were who loved them. when a cat is loved they stay where they are loved. Also it may sound weird but I brought home a new kitty and its seems that he took the spirit in and my dead cat is still here through the new one. He comforts and I can see he resembles the one gone and recognizes the loss in this cat home. … and he’s trying to make things similar ,so similar its comforting. very consoling little kitten.

  • Rochelle

    As I write this I am holding a dying cat. He is only 2 and the vets we have taken him to can not figure out what is wrong with him. He has been ill for 2 months now but today he has been unable to even drink and his muscles are stiffening. I think it may be time to let his spirit free of his faulty & failing physical body. I had one other cat die 5 years ago. When he died (we knew he was ill) when his final moments happened though he let out a loud low moan and every breath of air that was in him expelled in a gush then he was gone. It was very different then the death of your cat. I am sorry for your loss.

  • worriedaboutmycat

    i am so sorry to hear that… but at-least it seems to be a quick death which is good. And yes i do believe there is a heaven where they go to just like us and we see them there again. Im going through a cat trauma as well right now.

    I want to post this up for some feedback and not sure where to post.

    My cat is 2 years and a very big cat. fell off the 5th floor window yesterday night at 1am, she just fell, I still feel like im just in a bad dream. I really love her a lot. She fell at 1am wrapped her in a blanket brought her back upstairs I was crying so much. I was in my pjs and full of blood: I started calling so many numbers and by 2am had a vet open up his ward for poor fluffy. He seems to be the best but honestly none of my cats have ever been injured so I don’t know.

    She had one eye seemed to be turned in its socket, lots of blood from there, also blood coming out of her mouth. He took her temperature (was low) and took an x-ray. He said unfortuanalty her lungs are filled up with blood.

    He is keeping her for a few days. I called several times today he said she is stable but he cannot say if she will survive this fall or not as she is still in critical condition but has 24/7 surveillance and he promised that whatever can be done is being done.

    He mentioned he has seen worse cases that lived yet less severe cases that have died. He also said the first 24hrs are crucial then the next 3 days are crucial then if she is still alive after that he can asses more how her body is doing as each cat is different.
    I am not doing okay, really im not, I cant stop crying. I know crying wont help her but right now I just need to hear that she will be ok and specifically I am feeling so much pitty about the pain I saw her in. He said he has her on an IV for fluids and also for pain management.

    He didn’t mention putting her to sleep at first, So I asked if that was necessary at this point as I don’t want to be selfish and poor fluffy was just in so much pain. He said its my call but there is a chance of survival so we should go with that.

    Does anyone have any advice on what I should do, I feel helpless. Also any similar stories specifically with a fall of a kitty with xrays showing that the lungs are filled up with blood (yet showing all organs are where they are supposed to be) and what is in store for her? What should I do from my part in the next few days?

  • chelsealuv

    I’m sorry for your loss. I sat with my husband and his dog while she passed. She actually pulled through until he got home from work. Then she had a dramatic decline. I found your article while trying to find signs of a dying cat because my cat ran away from home. He is terrified of being outside the house, but has been missing for two days.

  • Jaden Foley

    A couple months ago my cat died and instead of brown stuff coming out of mouth yellow stuff as soon as he died like after it died your stuff came out of its mouth do you think for boys that brown stuff coming out of my mouth after it dies and your girl cats of yellow stuff comes out of its mouth after it dies or do you think it’s so when it does that had soul like my cat died in my hands i did enter kill her.

    • Jaden Foley

      *i didn’t kill her

  • Big Ben

    Why is this poorly written article still so highly ranked? And it’s disturbing that the cat is called an it over and over. No wonder you didn’t notice he was sick.

    • Elizabeth

      Shame on you. Deal with your own personal issues before you comment on someone’s post who is obviously hurting. If you can’t say anything nice… Go see a therapist.
      An actual therapist.

      • InsanelyBright

        Niceness doesn’t save cats. Going to a vet does. People don’t go to therapists because they call out BS. Shame on you for being a politeness nazi. Ho.

    • Emily Carrington

      He said “it” one time, a poor choice perhaps but not any indication of a unloved pet. Author uses he and him repeatedly because he is keeping it open for us to fill in. And because his post is about the spirituality of a pets death it suits the topic.

  • It IS hard to tell with a cat and I am also never really sure. We have lost three very old cats recently; my 20 year old cat just passed away two hours ago. Each time, I had to take the cat to my husband and have him check to be sure the cat was gone. And even then, I always leave the cat in a safe place overnight “just to be sure”.

  • Cora Bird

    My cat of 22 years of age, Bud, passed yesterday afternoon as the sun went down. He was still purring after his final thrashing about where he grabbed my husband’s sleeve and had a look of pleading in his eyes. We couldn’t save him and it tears me up to know that. The only small comfort is that he was an outside cat until a month ago when he started to decline and we decided to keep him in all the time. Exactly one month before he passed, he had a really bad spell for a day with lots of pitching about and falling down. The next day he started eating again and using the litter box. He went on for a month and had a couple of really good days when he got to eat chicken again and looked like his old robust self doing it. I miss him, he had a huge heart for other stray cats, most of whom we adopted but he was the leader of the pack. He’s waiting for us on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

  • Chris

    My buddy Jordan of 18yrs has passed just two hours ago. He was such a good cat. 😔I’m so very sad- he died in my arms. I will never forget his precious face struggling to give me his last couple silent meows as I told him I loved him before leaving me. Tears soaking his chocolate forehead as I moved from lying in front of him to behind him and held him until he was stiff. You’re mind plays with you- you watch for any breathing movement, you put your head to chest over and over again- I’ve come to realize this is a process of coping/digesting this overwhelming sensory information.
    I didn’t think it would hit me so hard (i knew it was coming and I have faced death before -in more than one fashion)
    He’s lying on my bed. I can’t bring myself to move him.

    • Verl evans

      Verl Evans I to just got through holding my sweet baby girl Goldie who on the16 of august got spayed and nnow she just died she was fine till ,yesterday she would rat drink gor pee i gave pefilite and ck broth but now I’m crying my heart out she died on my arms and I to held my rar close to her heart and I could hear s very gsint heart beat so I’m still hold her till I can no.longer hear it and I do believe everything that is alive has a soulrip.my sweet goldie

  • Dusty Hauber

    I do work for a vet and I will tell you what she tells people who face these tough decisions. “Think about 3 things your pet loves to do. When your pet can only do 2 of those things, it’s time to start thinking. When they can only do one, it’s probably time.”

    I’m very sorry for your loss. Even though we love them lots, we can’t always save them. My advice is to get a thermometer so you can take a temp, a bag of fluids and fresh needles (if you can and learn to give sub Q fluids), and a can or two of Recovery RS cat food. That’s a great way to get your cat through afew hours until you can get to a vet. Im sorry for your loss.

  • nathan kollander

    Today i had my cat die and i’d really like to know what the cause was she was only 6yrs.
    She stop eating completely then she started getting really weak real fast and her meow got weak too her eyes look milky colored and she lost some weight over the past few days. Can anyone tell me what may of caused this???????