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Death match – Four-hour erection vs. Janet Jackson’s tit

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Daddy, what’s a 4-hour erection?

Daddy, what’s a boob?

You have a young daughter at home – pick any age – which question is easier to answer?

Across America after the 2004 Superbowl, the big conversation was the baring of Janet Jackson’s breast. Many commentators, even those who never thought themselves “sophisticated” before, discounted it as no big deal. And wasn’t it much whiter than anyone thought?

That’s if they even saw it. The next day? Boy they heard about it.

But that blas√© attitude did not reach the seats of power. Politicians, with help from some very loud voices, did not feel they could speak out in public and say “Hey, that’s really not a big deal.”

Had they spoken out more, that it was, indeed, no big deal, the Federal Communications Commission, headed by Michael Powell, may have realized their goals were misguided and away from what most of America was saying.

Did you personally know anyone who watched that on TV and was immediately disgusted? Not me.

And people’s at-home reaction – if it was anything more than “Did I see what I think I just saw?” started to evolve, or devolve. Publicly, outrage become the overriding emotion, the good thing to voice.

Then they switched to CSI and watched bullets burst through brains in glorious slow motion.

But I never heard much of any kind of murmur – still don’t – about these ever-present commercials about erectile dysfunction and images of limp, green, garden hose, the bigger-than-life permanent, creepy smiles and dire warnings about what you need to do if you have a four-hour erection.

Down boy, indeed.

That’s far more against decency. These products very existence highlights a weakness – a real one – one that is somewhat important. But the delivery of these commercials is incredibly … tacky. These commercials say someone with this weakness is suddenly transformed into a pillar of society whose family life is now sunny and completely turned around from the sad, pathetic existence that went before. (Though international studies show American couples are the most litigious and the least labidious libidinous).

Still commercials are supposed to make their product sound attractive, and are supposed to, I guess, stretch the realms of possibility and create a fantasy world brought to you by Pfizer.

The people in power didn’t see it that way. We know many of them lose their back bones, but I wouldn’t have thought they’d all lose the boner.

FCC decency regulations are meant, mostly to protect children from learning about the world too fast and to maintain community decency standards. When your community is the entire country that’s an impossible task. So where are the huge fines against commercials which air at almost all times. Where are the enforced standards against commercials that raise much more awkward – and lesser – questions. Instead the FCC concentrates on the occasional swear word – as if any pre-teen could or would want to sit through an awards show or listens to Howard Stern.

What are the answers?

“Daddy, what’s a boob?”
“Well, when you were born, your mom gave you milk out of them. It’s a natural function of what it means to be a mother.”

“Why?”
“Mothers are gifted with the power of being able to feed their young when they can’t feed themselves.”

Maybe that’s not a complete answer, but it’s accurate and it deals with nothing a child’s mind can’t process and shouldn’t understand. Babies are faced, literally, with the idea of breasts from their first waking moments.

“Daddy, what’s a four-hour erection?”
“… … … … Well, men get excited and … um …. Well, blood doesn’t always go … um ….. Here’s what it is – Some men need help to produce children.”

“But daddy it says if you have a four-hour erection you should see a doctor. Have you ever had a four-hour erection?”

“We can’t discuss this now.”

A bare breast or a four-hour erection? In all senses of the question, which should children be shielded from more?

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About temple

Always been a writer, always maintained an interest in politics, how people communicate and fantasy worlds within photography and books. Previously wrote for Blogcritics back in 2005 and interested in exploring the issues and topics I'm interested - the changing landscape of entertainment. all from the POV of a creator first, consumer, second.
  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    international studies show American couples are the most litigious and the least labidious…

    Did you mean libidinous?

    And hey! Great find of the Bukowski book – it’s good, exactly the way a four-hour erection isn’t.

  • Eric Olsen

    there are several issues here: people are used to ignoring commercials, so I think that’s part of why they get a relative pass.

    The Internet and cable news are what whipped the Exposure into a national scandal – like you said, you would have had to be paying awfully close attention to even notice. I didn’t. But with the Act readily and infinitely available in slow motion on the Internet and shown ad nauseum on cable news, the populace worked itself into a frenzy of indignation and issues they had been quietly stewing over for some time came to a boil.

  • http://emeraldcitycomments.blogspot.com/ Roy Smith

    I think the real root issue here is the continued schizophrenia of the American public over sexuality. On the one hand, teaching teenagers medically accurate information about sexuality is somehow immoral … but on the other hand, insurance plans should pay for Viagara (even though some have never paid for contraception).

    I heard an interview on NPR the other day in which the interviewee talked about how society hates and teaches girls and women to hate the female body as something that is somehow evil. This may be an example of that tendency as well.

  • Eric Olsen

    good point: we are both prurient and prudish at the same time

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    I never thought about the ignoring commercials standard – especially during the Super BOwl, but yeah the other 364 days they are not much of a focus (except when they get banned by networks for no reason).

    And the spell check – thanks DrPat. I barely got this post on the page yesterday before my internet connection went weird. I couldn’t do squat and couldn’t check my e-mial or send any out. I could leave comments – with a 5-minute wait.

  • Eric Olsen

    also, the commercials are perhaps perceived as “coy” while there is nothing remotely coy about a woman ramming her breast down the national throat

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    yes – but are they “coy” in the situation I described?

    And no one rammed a breast down anyone’s throat. You had to try real hard to figure out what was there. Some cheerleaders show as much cleavage. (I’ve closely inspected).

  • http://emeraldcitycomments.blogspot.com/ Roy Smith

    As a parent, I would say the “coy” commercials are even worse than the flashing breast when the child starts asking questions.

  • Eric Olsen

    I’m talking about perception

  • http://www.antequeravillarental.com alienboy

    perception lies!

  • Eric Olsen

    I don’t disagree, just trying to answer the questions

  • http://selfaudit.blogspot.com Aaman

    I heard Sir Paul McCartney is going to be at the show

  • Eric Olsen

    rocking his Golden Ager ass off

  • http://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com NancyGail

    Mickey Rooney, however, will be skipping the SB this year due to throwing down the towel

  • http://entertainmentbizcritic.blogspot.com Crystal E.

    i just wish everybody’d start controlling their emotions with creativity and insight rather than this constant, overwhelming sex obesession. i just think this country has such an immature view on sex and the body, because no one does talk about it, or completely talks too much about it. There’s much more out there to spend one’s mind on. Too much of anything is bad, and i’m sick of turning on the tv, seeing all these commercials and sitcoms and music videos selling this mainstream obsession with getting laid, like getting everyone in the U.S. laid is going to save us from all the discontent life has to offer. Obviously, if the media’s controversy over JJ’s boob gets played out into the next year’s superbowl through the media’s falsified controversies, which even allows the FCC to gain big bucks just like the Superbowl advertisers, off the whole “SEX SELLS,” they’re all just making money off a disillusioned society that doesn’t value value, mainly because the word value has no one value to it.

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple A. Stark

    Farts sell too – remember Budweiser.

    The word value has no value to it.

    Today I think that’s absolutely true except that everyone has their own values and that should mean something to them.

  • Eric Olsen

    you’re a deep thinker Crystal, but don’t worry too much

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    I dunno, Crystal. I find that getting laid goes a long way toward dispelling “all the discontent life has to offer”.

  • http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com Eric Berlin

    I think the US has weird issues with sex in a macro sex that in part dates back to our Puritan heritage. It’s still taboo in many ways, and thus the overcompensation in media and advertisements and even barroom conversation. Other places are a little more chilled out about it: talking about it, and most likely taking part in the act as well.

  • kelly

    did west coast affiliates carry the state of the union address?

  • http://www.mondoirlando.com Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    personllay, i don’t believe in sex. Certainly noone i know has ever engaged in it. It’s a myth, is what i have decided.

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple A. Stark

    Or is that sex doesn’t believe in you?

    This would explan a lot including why your hands are tired. :-)

  • peter

    Kelly,

    I’m not sure you want to watch the state of the union, unless your into staged theatrics.

    It’s a shame americans don’t demand an apology for the rhetorical shit shoved in our faces, from our president of all people. Can’t he lay off the rhetoric?

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    Super Bowl 2005

    One Cialis (yep, 4-hour erection) commercial and no tits – unless you count a few fumblers on the field.

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    Everyone will be happy, thrilled, excited (but not oo excited please) to know that if you search for “four hour erection” blogcritics.org comes top of the list.

    Don’t ask em how I know. OK – my Website is number two on the list and I saw the Google link back in my stats.