Daddy, what’s a 4-hour erection?
Daddy, what’s a boob?
You have a young daughter at home – pick any age – which question is easier to answer?
Across America after the 2004 Superbowl, the big conversation was the baring of Janet Jackson’s breast. Many commentators, even those who never thought themselves “sophisticated” before, discounted it as no big deal. And wasn’t it much whiter than anyone thought?
That’s if they even saw it. The next day? Boy they heard about it.
But that blasé attitude did not reach the seats of power. Politicians, with help from some very loud voices, did not feel they could speak out in public and say “Hey, that’s really not a big deal.”
Had they spoken out more, that it was, indeed, no big deal, the Federal Communications Commission, headed by Michael Powell, may have realized their goals were misguided and away from what most of America was saying.
Did you personally know anyone who watched that on TV and was immediately disgusted? Not me.
And people’s at-home reaction – if it was anything more than “Did I see what I think I just saw?” started to evolve, or devolve. Publicly, outrage become the overriding emotion, the good thing to voice.
Then they switched to CSI and watched bullets burst through brains in glorious slow motion.
But I never heard much of any kind of murmur – still don’t – about these ever-present commercials about erectile dysfunction and images of limp, green, garden hose, the bigger-than-life permanent, creepy smiles and dire warnings about what you need to do if you have a four-hour erection.
Down boy, indeed.
That’s far more against decency. These products very existence highlights a weakness – a real one – one that is somewhat important. But the delivery of these commercials is incredibly … tacky. These commercials say someone with this weakness is suddenly transformed into a pillar of society whose family life is now sunny and completely turned around from the sad, pathetic existence that went before. (Though international studies show American couples are the most litigious and the least
Still commercials are supposed to make their product sound attractive, and are supposed to, I guess, stretch the realms of possibility and create a fantasy world brought to you by Pfizer.
The people in power didn’t see it that way. We know many of them lose their back bones, but I wouldn’t have thought they’d all lose the boner.
FCC decency regulations are meant, mostly to protect children from learning about the world too fast and to maintain community decency standards. When your community is the entire country that’s an impossible task. So where are the huge fines against commercials which air at almost all times. Where are the enforced standards against commercials that raise much more awkward – and lesser – questions. Instead the FCC concentrates on the occasional swear word – as if any pre-teen could or would want to sit through an awards show or listens to Howard Stern.
What are the answers?
“Daddy, what’s a boob?”
“Well, when you were born, your mom gave you milk out of them. It’s a natural function of what it means to be a mother.”
“Mothers are gifted with the power of being able to feed their young when they can’t feed themselves.”
Maybe that’s not a complete answer, but it’s accurate and it deals with nothing a child’s mind can’t process and shouldn’t understand. Babies are faced, literally, with the idea of breasts from their first waking moments.
“Daddy, what’s a four-hour erection?”
“… … … … Well, men get excited and … um …. Well, blood doesn’t always go … um ….. Here’s what it is – Some men need help to produce children.”
“But daddy it says if you have a four-hour erection you should see a doctor. Have you ever had a four-hour erection?”
“We can’t discuss this now.”
A bare breast or a four-hour erection? In all senses of the question, which should children be shielded from more?