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Dead Donkey Editor

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If you are thinking of reading Shark’s post, “Beating a Dead Donkey: The Relentless Right,” I’m an editor and I’m here to help.

Through the miracle of editing, I’ve reduced this 6,750-word thread to a mere 177 words.

Why?

The average reading speed is somewhere between 200 to 350 words per minute.

Using the high-end of the average reading speed, it would take roughly about 19 minutes to read this thread. Add in coffee and bathroom breaks and you’re looking at 30-plus minutes of your precious weekend time.

This concerns me.

But now you can read this entire post in less than a minute.

Read this thread and have a life, too?

Priceless.

The edited thread:

garrulous Right-Wing Boyz
family-values fascists
creationist creeps
corporate whores
pit-bull pork-barrel managers
flag-wavin’ right-wing Christian SUV drivin’ …
cell-phone squawkin’ little bride
ANGRY LEFTIST STALINIST
have to destroy themselves first
extermination would be a blessing
righist boogeymen
despise the Neocons
ideological zombie
abandonned reason
hammering away
I’m a pedantic blowhard and I know it
Polly wanna cracker…
hoity-fuckin’ toity intellectual philanthropist
Evil Incarnate
the dreaded “liberals”
Big baby
poor little pussy liberals
black boot/nazi/gestapo imagery
hypocritical comment
all-enveloping warmness of ideological delusion.
personal political
too contentious
ain’t flowery language grand
endless right wing dogma
you sure are arrogant
we’re supposed to respect your opinions
condescending forever
Is this intentional irony
guesswork and over-generalizations.
wish we saw more policy posts here from the left
extremely irritating
more nuanced
gagging down
chickenshit generalizations
mean-spirited
some of us aren’t fooled
constant abuse
fix me a sandwich
dead donkey kicks
emotionally driven
outrageous statements
rant and blather
laughed
fun, charitable, loving, optimistic
utterly exacerbated
My belly’s rumbling
original rant
I’d serve you poison
old horseshoer
dead air
yard name calling
something higher

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About KOB

  • http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com Eric Berlin

    concise retort = well done

  • sonja valentine

    HI-larious
    thanks for the first laugh of the day… or should it be:
    HI-larious
    thanks
    first
    laugh
    day?

  • http://www.diablog.us Dave Nalle

    Wow, you got the comments in there too. Good job.

    Dave

  • Eric Olsen

    dude, you are a riot – a very creative response

  • Eric Olsen

    but shouldn’t this be filed under “poetry”?

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    Even though you boiled my comment down to “dead air,” I salute you, KOB.

    [snicker]

  • SFC SKI

    Very funny!

  • Shark

    I hold the copyright on this piece. See you in court.

  • Shark

    Jeezus!

    Even ME highly edited is fucking entertaining!

    I need my own show.

  • Bennett Dawson

    KOB!!! There are half a dozen threads that need your special talent. Please, edit away the chaff!

    Big grins reading your piece, and the comments that followed.

    Great job.

  • KOB

    Thanks all for the kind comments — ;-)

  • http://www.morethings.com/senate Al Barger

    Dammit man, have you got a KOB up yer ass? You left out my “pinko bitches.” Only a damned pinko would do that.

    KOB, are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    Al, it was edited out under the Painfully Redundant Rule.

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    Funny!

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    Hey, Al, if I can survive my brilliant oil-upon-troubled-waters comment being edited down to “dead air,” you can certainly allow the excision of “pinko bitches.”

    [grumbling, “he could have used ‘lightening rod’ instead, but it wouldn’t have been funny!]