Many times I watch pretty girls in pink change into punk rockers in black, and then into sports gurus in red. Every time you see these girls they have a different interest, look, and personality. Why in the world do they change their lives so much? The answer is simple: boys.
As I observe the world of dating through personal experience, television, and close friends, I have found two common routes to failure. The first is making the other person your identity, and the second is trying to write your own perfect ending by yourself. Our culture has taught us to take God out of the picture and and do the dirty work ourselves, but this is only hurting us in the long run.
Regarding the first problem, how many times do you see people change themselves from relationship to relationship, just to keep “someone special” around? Why do people do that? A little sacrifice, a little bending is just part of a healthy relationship, and any good married couple will tell you that compromise is key, but what I’m talking about are complete life makeovers during a two-week relationship. This type of compromise is not healthy.
I think we sometimes rely so much on other people that we hurt ourselves. The real character of a person comes out when unexpected change takes place. A loved one dies, the company makes pay cuts, or the house burns down. These are all times of unexpected change when people either shape up or blow up. I think the key to not blowing up is putting your faith and security in something that never changes. Yes, the changing situations will always be there, but if you don’t make them your number one priority you won’t be let down. Thus, making people your life is bad dating advice.
The second problem is that we try to be in control. Have you ever thought about what God thinks? He made the earth, he made the seas, he made your parents, brought them together through all their differences, and he made you. God has plans laid out from now till eternity. He knows what’s going to happen, he knows when it will happen, and he knows how it will happen.
God already knows who you will marry, so why are you so consumed with finding them at the right spot in the right time on the perfect day? I hate to break it to you, but your life isn’t a fairy tale. If you don’t walk around the streets shouting and proclaiming to be God and in control of everything, then don’t go about life trying to play God and control everything. He has it all laid out, so let him do it.
So there you have it: the two biggest problems about the way we date basically boil down to one thought. We let it consume us. When other people consume us they let us down, and when dating consumes us we make the wrong decisions because we are not in control of the universe. I truly believe that freedom comes in letting go. So stop trying, stop controlling, stop pretending. Give in and be yourself. Do you. Live your life with a passion directed towards the things you love, and a carefree spirit towards the things God hasn’t shown you yet. For everything under heaven, there is a season.