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Dan Nied’s 100 Days: Day 82

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Dan Nied’s 100 Days is the chronicle of one man’s quest to improve his health in 100 days. Feel free to email him at nieddan@yahoo.com with any questions or comments you might have.

What I ate today:

Breakfast (10 a.m.)
2 servings of oatmeal
1 ½ servings of skim milk
Calories: 335
Fat: 3 grams

Lunch (1 p.m.)
4 chicken filets
3 low fat tortillas
1 serving of Just 2 Good bleu cheese dressing
Calories: 330
Fat: 4 grams

Snack (3 p.m.)
1 stick of beef jerkey
Calories: 150
Fat: 2 grams

Dinner (7:30 p.m.)
1 foot long Subway club
Calories: 640
Fat: 12 grams

Total Calories: 1,455
Total fat: 21 grams

Exercise: None. Worked all day. Not great, I know. But sometimes days like this happen. I have to work all day Tuesday, too, but I am going to try to get to the gym in the early afternoon. I’ll need the extra energy.

Pepto Bismol, I hope, will be my best friend in life from here on out. Let’s just hope it doesn’t cause cancer. I have never even tasted the stuff, but from what I can tell, it is what I need to get through the current stomach problems that plague me when I eat shit. My boss thinks I might have an ulcer, but my boss is a lifelong journalist, so we don’t put much stock in his non-journalistic opinions.

I said that I would tell you about basketball Saturday. Here’s what happened: I was working out at the junior college alongside the assistant coach for the women’s basketball team here. In walked one of his players, a 5-10 forward from Cameroon that we will call Muna (’cause that is one of her four names). Muna and I are kind of friends, at least as much as we can be with the writer-writee relationship. And we played some one-on-one last year and I nearly beat her, even though I wasn’t trying.

Since then I have talked mad shit to Muna about nearly letting a 370-pound man beat her at her own game and I issued an open challenge for her any time. When she showed up Saturday, I started talking mad shit again; only this time around the assistant said, “I would love to watch you play Muna. She will kill you.”

“Anytime,” I said.

So we decided to play right after I was done working out. I was planning the usual 40 minutes of elliptical bliss, but I figured it would be good to get some other style of cardio in. My first mistake was accepting the challenge at all. My second, and biggest, mistake was working out my arms and shoulders directly before playing. Now, I am no good at basketball. Some would say I suck. I would say I don’t practice very much. But my arms were freaking dead by the time I got on the court. Muna was fresh. I think that is the main reason she beat me 10-2 in our first game and 5-2 in our second game. It couldn’t have been the fact that she’ll be playing at a low level Division I program next year, right?

Actually, things started out really well for me. I blocked Muna’s first shot (how dare she bring that weak shit into my lane!) and then posted her up for an easy layup. Suddenly, Muna (who, by the way, has a very interesting story highlighted by the fact that before she came to Colorado, she had only played basketball on dirt courts in Cameroon) became much faster than me. She was incredibly quick off the dribble and apparently had developed a jumper and, since I had to play soft defense to combat her speed, she just rained it from the outside.

Also, apparently I am not in good basketball shape yet. I’ll admit that I was severely winded during my second possession. I think that if I hadn’t just lost 56 pounds, an ambulance would have had to be called. By the end, when she started missing shots, I was too tired to even put my arms up to rebound. After the score hit 8-1, I was just begging her to end it. But she kept fucking missing shots! Damn! Finally she nailed the coffin shut and I wept in the corner of the gym while catching my breath. About 15 minutes later I challenged her again, this time to five. I was a little more competitive, but still couldn’t compete, really.

After that game, we hooked up with two other girls players for some two on two. I faired a bit better (my passing skills are amazing, yo) but we lost 11-10 on a two pointer. That was it for me.

On the other end of the court, some members of the men’s team (ranked 15th in the country at the end of the regular season, they are pretty damn good) were playing. They offered me a spot in their game. I politely declined.

The lesson here? Don’t get too cocky too soon. Also, just because you can go on an elliptical machine for 40 minutes straight doesn’t mean you can survive in an actual sport.

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About Dan Nied

  • Getting or taking fiber (and plenty of water) everyday may help with the digestive difficulties — and not eating stuff that you know will upset your tract.
    Pepto Bismol (and all products like it) is not meant for the long haul. You won’t know it isn’t working anymore until you’re really not feeling so well at all and can’t figure out why.

    Dr Weil is good for what ails the gut.

    If you’re up for it, buy all the stuff to make stuff that’s like the fast food you like. Spice it up with sauces, salsa, Mrs. Dash, and pepper. (Salt isn’t really your friend; how’s your blood pressure?)

    Just as your body has taken issue with fast food, it will also come to acquire a taste for the stuff you make (that mimics the fast food you like). Eventually, real fast food won’t taste right. It won’t take but about a month of eating your own food or fresh foods (Subway counts, Burger King doesn’t!).

    You’ll eat what’s in your fridge and might be dissuaded by having to cut stuff up first. If you can afford it, have the deli at your supermarket cut everything up for you. Or, make friends with someone cute that likes to cook — have them do your prep work. If stuff is already cut up, it’s a lot easier to grab-n-go than if you have to take the time to do it each day.

    Making cooking simple helps. Raw fruits and vegetables (or even just steamed or baked) are easy to gather and prep. You can eat until you’re full with no remorse and snack all day long if you want.