Dan Nied’s 100 Days is the chronicle of one man’s quest to improve his health in 100 days. Feel free to email him at email@example.com with any questions you might have.
What I ate today
Breakfast (9 a.m.)
1 slice of multi-grain bread
2 ounces of turkey
Fat: 2 grams
Lunch (1 p.m.)
12 Subway foot-long Chicken Breast with everything I usually get
Fat: 10 grams
Snack (5 p.m.)
2 servings of baby carrots (I know, not much of a snack)
Fat: 0 grams
Dinner (7:30 p.m.)
1 Grapefruit (mmm, grapefruit for dinner)
4 ounces of turkey breast
4 grilled chicken filets
Fat: 1 gram
Total Calories: 1,270
Total fat: 2 grams
Exercise: None. Ugh.
You know, sometimes I just stop what I am doing, think for a second and marvel at what a schmuck I really am. That just happened to me not 30 seconds ago when I realized I forgot to have a snack after dinner. So I just shoved a few baby carrots down my gullet and called that a snack. I guess we can add that up to the big board total for today, bringing me to about 1,305 calories. Well, that’s within the range I guess.
I need to go shopping very badly. Food is rapidly disappearing from the fridge. That means I am eating more and keeping the calories up as much as I can. Of course, that also means this is getting expensive. Us “journalists” are pretty much paid the same introductory hourly Nike give 13-year old Indonesians. But I’ll head to evil Wal-Mart tomorrow to grab some food. I’m not sure what I will grab, but mark my words, the suspense is killing me.
Do they make fat-free pizza yet? Someone should get on that.
So there might be a big factor working for me in the coming weeks. Today I sat down and talked this thing out with someone who actually knows something about something (unlike me, who knows shit about shit). We’ll call him Shep from here on out. Well, Shep offered to work with me in the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays to do various ass-kicking exercises under his tutelage. He brought up squats and lunges and running on treadmills and I was hesitant because I know he is kind of a prick. But I am done saying no to these things. If someone is willing to help me in any way, I have to be ready to accept. So I was.
Shep is the same nutrition teacher (I think he teaches, anyway) I talked about yesterday. He is also the baseball coach at the junior college I cover and he had some interesting things to say about this diet. He confirmed a lot of things I have already been doing and gave me a few tips. We agreed it was best for me to cut down, not necessarily out, the bread. I will still be searching for alternatives, though.
Interruption: I am still on a Weezer kick and the song “the good life” just came on. The chorus contains the line “…It’s time I got back to the good life/It’s time I got back, time I got back/and I don’t even know how I got off the track…” I think that is kind of appropriate for this project. Kind of weird how that works, eh? I wasn’t planning that, it just happened. Of course, the song on now is “Tired of Sex”. So I guess I shouldn’t read too much into these Weezer prophecies.
Shep also said that I should start taking a multi-vitamin every day, because I prefer iceberg lettuce over spinach or romaine. I have been wondering if I should start with that. And, you know what? I think I will. And he said that I shouldn’t worry about fruit too much. Everything else he said was basically par for the course: eat at least five times per day, stay away from red meat, make sure you get a in a full-body workout. He also didn’t laugh at me when I said I wanted to lose 100 pounds in 100 days. All in all, I think that was a very productive meeting. I hope he kicks my ass all the way back to 270.
So I was in Subway today and it was like a goddamn obstacle course. That’s what I get for going during the prime lunch rush. First, I couldn’t dodge awkward hellos with high school kids I cover on a regular basis. I hate those moments when you see someone out of the context you usually see them in. I only talk to these kids after games, and now I had to pretend to be a real person to them? No, thank you. I have nothing to gain from that.
So then, I get in the very long line. I wait and wait. Finally, I am close to ordering. But the guy two spots in front of me pulls out a damn list. Oh those fucking lists. Whenever a guy gets out a list with multiple orders on it, I groan audibly. I can’t help it. It is a natural reaction. If you don’t know the guy with the list, let me explain. He comes to Subway alone, looking like one person waiting to order one sandwich. But when his time comes, he pulls out that damn half-sheet of paper with at least THREE orders listed on there. These orders, presumably, are for his lazy fuck coworkers who are “too busy” (cry me a fucking river) to come to Subway themselves. The guy, who is always at least half-retarded, has to juggle these three subs, all made to order. So you just hear him going “that one’s a club.. oh, that one has lettuce, tomato and pickles … oh that one has mustard.” It always takes 10 minutes, minimum, for him to finish.
Now, isn’t that unfair to the rest of us who just want to get in, order, and get out? I propose that Subway put a two-sandwich limit on all orders. Maybe that might hurt business, but isn’t it worth ending the complete frustration this very regular scenario causes other customers? I think so.
Anyway, the last obstacle was the fact that there was ANOTHER new girl working the vegetables. Lord, the turnover at that place is astounding. Well, as you can guess, she had no clue what she was doing. I had to ask her four times for more olives. Again, I don’t want to be a dick to her, but sometimes they need a little tough love. I was as nice as I can possibly be while grinding my teeth. I question the management’s decision to have this girl working in the most important position of the sandwich assembly line. The vegetables are THE key, and she was out of her element. Couldn’t she have just cut the bread or something?
So after about 25 minutes I got my sub. It wasn’t even that good.
Oh well, them’s the breaks.