Dan Nied’s 100 Days is the chronicle of one man’s quest to improve his health in 100 days. Feel free to email him at email@example.com with any questions or comments you might have.
I am a bit alarmed right now and somewhat worried that my mental state is changing. Today was kind of weird. I had to do an interview over lunch and, for lack of a better choice, we went to Pizza Hut. It was pizza buffet time at the old shithouse, a time that used to bring me great joy and even greater physical strain.
I got through lunch just fine, I guess. I had two small slices of olive pizza and a small salad, but when I got done I just wanted more. So I just decided, without really thinking about it, that I would take today off. It was an easy decision to make, and that troubles me. I wouldn’t be worried if I hadn’t just come back from a three-day binge with the goal of getting permanently under 300 very soon. So I suppose the consequences create room to question my dedication right now. Of course there have been days like this in the past; all were isolated incidents that didn’t exceed the day in question.
But after last weekend, how could I really justify going off today? Was it simply the fact that I tasted pizza and immediately craved more, and that just happened to be a craving stronger than my will at the moment? Or was there something in the back of my mind telling me I needed to celebrate a little bit more?
Certainly I don’t feel this is a cause for alarm. However, this behavior definitely needs to be monitored. In my visions of failure on this diet, it always goes like this: I drop a bunch of weight, I feel good about myself, I decide I’ve earned a break, and the break never ends. Two months later, I’ve put all the weight back on, and I have to have drastic plastic surgery to hide from all the people who had gone out of their way to mention the weight loss and how good I looked.
Now, we don’t want that to happen. At least I don’t. So this is easily correctable. Basically, I just don’t go off the diet any time soon. But what I want to see is how bad the urges are. I think the level of the urges will indicate a level of complacency. Am I happy being 300 pounds right now? I don’t think I am. But maybe I am happy with the initial 71 pounds lost. Maybe that’s the problem. When I hit 330 I tried to imagine 330 as the starting point for this diet. Now I think I have to do the same with 300. It really would be a tragedy to get two-thirds of the way to my ultimate goal and then turn back.
And I suppose that is why I am a bit worried by such a subtle slip. What I ate today wasn’t even that bad. I paid attention to the rule of cheating within the diet. I just had a very big dinner of some healthy choice meals and a bunch of other stuff. But the fact of the matter is that the stakes are highest now that some, but not all, success has been achieved. So while I am not really worried right now, I see cause for concern. But then again, I will probably let you know tomorrow that Wednesday went off without a hitch.