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CW Fisher exposed!

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Yes, it’s really me. Now you know I have a nose. And a forehead! But what’s so “shocking?”

This.

On June 17, 1952, I was born to Nadine Gunn Fisher in Oak Park, Illinois, at the same hospital used by Frank Lloyd Wright, Ernest Hemmingway and Tarzan author Edgar Rice Burroughs.

That’s not the shocking part either. Be more patient. I have, on my bathroom wall, framed behind UV glass, my birth receipt.

My mother spent 5 days in the hospital. The total bill was $120.80. Insurance paid $78. Bottom line?

I cost $42.80.

As you can imagine, I ponder these numbers frequently. Room and board for $11.50 a day? Delivery room for $20 and drugs for $5? Four days of infant care for $13.75? How were they charging, by the pound? Circumcision for three bucks!

Forty-two dollars and 80/100 cents.

When I consider what I’m worth today, I have to admit: it sounds about right.

About CW Fisher

  • http://www.tekwh0re.net Ms. Tek

    Sweetie,

    I just see a big X

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    I know, but it should be fixed now. The first shot was X-rated because I was nukid, I mean nade — NUDE! Nevermind.

  • http://www.tekwh0re.net Ms. Tek

    nekked.

    and damn! I like naked pics!

  • Shark

    Happy Birthday Curt. You were kinda cheap, but worth every penny.

    I’m glad you were born.

    xxoo times two today,
    Shark (humming “You Light Up My Life”)

  • http://www.shortstrangetrip.org Joe

    You seemed much taller in your writing, but on the plus side it doesn’t make your ass look big (your writing, not the picture, obviously, or not).

  • http://macaronies.blogspot.com Mac Diva

    Yes, I am drop dead gorgeous. High cheekbones. Sultry smile. Dimple in right cheek. Cafe au lait complexion. And, know something, Curt: I think you are kind of cute.

  • http://www.jackejett.com jack e. jett

    i am seeing kelsey grammer here. if all else fails, try the celebrity look a like biz.

    happy birthday cw. we share the same birthday, so i am going to find out how much i cost and see which one of us is more costly.

    jack e. jett

  • http://www.resonation.ca Jim Carruthers

    If this was Fark, well, I wouldn’t hit it.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Happy B day, jack e! You’re priceless. Having seen many pics of you in your splendiferousness, it’s only fair. By the way, if anybody out there has NOT visited Jack E. Jett’s site you are missing some of the best art on the blogs. This is not said lightly. It’s said heavily.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Jim…. Fark? Fark.

    Fark?

    Are you farking with me?

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Sharky: thanks. Glad you’re borned too. I may light up your life, man, but you’re the wind beneath my wings.

    Hmm. Did you have eggs for breakfast?

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Joe: I’m shorter than most of my posts.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Diva: Don’t know how I knew that you were DDG, but I knew that. It was either that or you were 700 pounds. Glad it’s the former.

    So now… if you’re cafe au lait… that would make me… Tang? I do look a little orange here. I was tanned. I’m paler normally. Think skim milk. You know how it has a hint of blue? Yeah. That’s me. My skin is actually transparent. Seriously. When I stick out my chest you can see a network of blue veins! They used to call me “Veins” in gym.

    Still think I’m “kinda cute?” Thought so, you phony. On the plus side, when people accuse me of thinking like a white man I can always point out I’m clear.

    C’mon, Diva. Take the CW Challenge. Expose yourself!

    DIVA! LAS VEGAS! (If everybody sings that, maybe she’ll post her pic).

  • Eric Olsen

    CW, you would not look at all out of place in my family, you could be a cousin – in a good way. Happy Birthday and don’t be afraid to show your teeth when you smile.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Eric: not surprised. I’m a weegie.

  • Robert T DeMarco

    well i don”t know what you are worth right now. but if you had invested a dollar a day and somehow managed to compound it at 12 percent you would be worth north of five million bucks.

  • Eric Olsen

    SOMEONE has to be the money manager

  • http://www.gwbush.blogspot.com RJ Elliott

    Three feet tall? Naw. 5′ 10″. With shoes on. :-/

    (However, I DO have cloven hooves…)

  • Shark

    Shark aka “Gramps”

  • http://www.tekwh0re.net Ms. Tek

    Oi… now I can see why you people think I am young! Not that you guys are old, but no, I am not in my 40s yet!

    NOW things make much more sense on here!

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Oi? I rate an “oi?”

    You come back to check me out and leave “oi?”

    Oi?

    Boy. That hurts, Tek. I may not be as young as Rj, but I’m just as tall. Almost as tall.

    Actually… I look kinda like a troll doll…

  • Eric Olsen

    Ms. Tek, did you think everyone here is 26? I have a 20 year-old daughter.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    I have a 24 year old daughter. …I should post her picture…

  • http://www.tekwh0re.net Ms. Tek

    No… I thought people were from RRJ’s age to late 60′s. I thought there were a few more in my age range but now I think I just might be in the minority. I was thinking that were was more of 30 to 40 skew but I think now I may be wrong.

    Which to be honest, in a lot of ways makes me feel better about some
    things. ;)

    And the Oi was NOT directed at YOU it was at the realization after seeing Shark’s photo as well that maybe people are older on here than I thought. Not that you guys look old… but you don’t look like you are in your late twenties, early 30′s.

    Besides… we all know that men get more distinguished, handsome, and sexy with age… So you all must be 1000s of years old!

    *hows that for a save? ;)*

  • Shark

    Tek, be careful. Last time CW and I checked, we were 16.

    Seriously.

    PS: I have a 4 yr old grandson, but most people think I’m his dad.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Ms. Tek: You were just one letter from “oui.” And two letters from “oink.”

    I think most people think they’re the “perfect” age, 32, at least when they’re blogging. If we post our pictures we’ll have to deal with the reality that our dream age is no more.

    Not bad. It would thin out the ranks.

    It’s tough getting old, Tek. It’s not for the young. You couldn’t take the abuse. My generation? We took from our elders, now we take it from our juniors. We are hated, hunted, despised, and we are loving it!

    But when we’re walking down the street, as opposed to blogging? Man, we’re all 18. Until we catch a reflection. Reflections are the #1 cause of depression. If I were the mayor, or Al Barger, I would make all reflections illegal, especially reflective posts (anything remotely elegiac or homespun, ie., like what I write). Lose ‘em.

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Shark, you are one scary looking fish. I’m strolling down the alley and you step out of the shadows. What would I say?

    “It’s in my sock! It’s in my sock!”

  • http://www.unproductivity.com Tom Johnson

    I think most people think they’re the “perfect” age, 32, at least when they’re blogging.

    That means I’m one year away from being perfect. Awesome. I can’t wait to tell my wife! She’s been asking for years what she got herself into. Now I’ll be able to say “This is as good as it gets, baby!” It’s all downhill from there.

  • http://www.tekwh0re.net Ms. Tek

    lmao! and you know why!

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    Do you like the way I boof up my own posts with my own comments?

    “Me me me.” –Jim Carruthers

    Shark: your self-portrait is cool, but how about something a little more real-world. In your bathrobe, for example. Seven-day stubble. Handbags under your eyes. Three chins. Streak of mustard on your upper lip. Like a picture that comes from a camera instead of Photoshop, where anybody’s head can have Pam Anderson’s body and the world is not to be trusted. Got anything like that?

    Tek: Having cruised your 10,000 mugshot portfolio, I MUST say… several things: a) you are the best self-portrait model you will ever find, b) you post everything whether it’s flattering or not, c) most are, d) many are simply fabulous, e) the few “bad” ones show your character and make you more interesting than your breasts, f) not that there’s anything wrong with your breasts: it’s just that how come you get to play with them all day and we don’t? It’s no fair. It’s so 80′s of you. Inverted nipples are nothing to be ashamed of. Introverts love them. You would have all of blogdom shipping you ice cubes: “Try this!” You must move beyond the aereola speed bump and ascend to a state of evagination. Forthwith may you spread your joy ever mindful that time ticks and tits get long. We are also in need of ECUs of tattooed areas. Finally, several Blogcritics have secretly advised me of their desire to see you completely naked but rolled in flour. No harm in asking on their behalf; seems a fair compromise.

  • http://www.tekwh0re.net Ms. Tek

    *tears*

    naked but rolled in flour??!!

    Omg… are you saying that I am fat? HAHA, because I know a very bad joke:

    “how do you find the vagina on a fat chick?”

    “roll her in flour and poke at the damp spot”

    *aside… don’t get pissed off at me- I am only repeating what a few others told me*

    If not that, then the naked rolled in flour is a new one to me. Usually its jello, beer, oil, etc…

    Flour? What do these folks want to do? Fuck me or bake me?

    On second thought… don’t answer that!

    Thanks for the compliment even so. ;)

  • http://theapologist.blogspot.com CW Fisher

    OK. This flour joke I have heard but that’s not what I was thinking. Plus it wouldn’t work anyway because writers get exactly no one wet. Any wetness would have to be applied externally, with, say, a squirt gun.

    But there’s no reason to get dirty here. Eric’s daughter could be reading this.

    Personally I think the world would be beter off if old men like men had the balls of young women today.