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Curses! A musical satire for Cub fans

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Originally posted at The Bloviator

As the media continues to not only replay the now-infamous foul ball from last night’s 8-3 Marlins win over the Cubs, but also incrementally reveal more and more information about the fan who allegedly “lost” the game for the Cubs (placing his life in greater and greater jeopardy by crazed fans), I was inspired to write a song that might appeal to those fans who believe in curses. And revenge.

With deepest apologies to Carly Simon, and a caveat that the lyrics do not reflect my feelings about the issue (see here for my true feelings).

You’re To Blame
(sung to “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon)

You reached out for the foul ball
As if you thought you might have a shot
Your cap strategically pulled down to your eyes
Your headphones broadcast the plot
You had one hand on the baseball
As you thought you had it caught
And all the fans screamed that they’d like to kill you
They’d like to kill you, and

You’re to blame
You probably think this game is about you
You’re to blame
I’ll bet you think this game is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

I heard “The Curse” some years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, they said that this might fine’ly be the year
And that the Cubbies could achieve
But you gave away our life-long dreams
I’ll pelt you when you leave
I had big dreams of the Cubs in the Series

Cubs in the Series, and

You’re to blame
You probably think this game is about you
You’re to blame
I’ll bet you think this game is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

I had big dreams of the Cubs in the Series
Cubs in the Series, and

You’re to blame
You probably think this game is about you
You’re to blame
I’ll bet you think this game is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

Well, I hear you work downtown in business
And you’re twenty-six years now
The media gives me all the details I need
To make sure you’re run out of town
Well, you’re everywhere on TV news
And when you’re not, you’re in
Some dark corner and in fear for your dear life
Fear for your dear life, and

You’re to blame
You probably think this game is about you
You’re to blame
I’ll bet you think this game is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you? Don’t you?

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  • Eric Olsen

    I was almost asleep last night when the 8th inning struck – you can’t tell me there isn’t some bizarre collective subconscious at work that would allow for such a melt down under virtually identical circumstances as the ’84 melt down. It’s just too creepy. It was like flipping a switch as it went from all good to all bad. I would fault Dusty for leaving Prior in past the first base runner in the 8th: the point is to win the game, not “honor” your starting pitcher. That’s why they have bullpens and closers.