Here's a helpful hint to NBC and the USA Network: there are some people — namely the subset of individuals enjoy sports — who would rather appreciate it if you didn't try to air commercials during play. We understand that, unlike American sports, the competition does not bend to the will of the sponsors and wait for you to finish those back-to-back promos of Burn Notice, but it might prove to be a useful programming decision if you at least show in some kind of inset box the actual freaking game while advertisers peddle their wares.
Now then. Where were we? Ah yes: dead last in the standings.
Canada, 4-0 — In their 12-5 rout of France, they had five points in a single end. They're outscoring everybody 35-18. And yet here's a very surprising statistic: they've only stolen two ends. So they're simply swinging their hammer around like freaking John Henry and giving their opponents a herring to cut down the mighty forest.
Norway, 3-1 — Look out for the Pants Patrol. Since they already played Canada (and lost by one), they could very well win out after planting a first loss on the backs of…
Switzerland, 3-1 — …the cheesemakers. Blessed are the cheesemakers. Their draw against Canada isn't until Sunday, but how about their countrymen forcing an overtime shootout against the host nation in hockey?
Sweden, 3-1 — After a slight scare from China, they get Friday off. Oh, and their only loss? Canada, natch.
Great Britain, 2-2 — If there is such thing as a glamorous shot, it's having to curl through a port (between two other stones). If anything else is demoralizing, it's a double takeout. David Murdoch had to go through a port to knock out two Danish rocks and set up their second win. For purposes of consistency: no, they have not yet lost to Canada.
China, 1-2 — Their lone win, a 8-1 smothering of Denmark, was basically China stepping away from the derailed train and capitalizing on misses. They followed it up with an 11-end loss to Sweden, and their next three games (Norway, Switzerland, Great Britain) might crush their playoff hopes.
France, 1-2 — They're a long way from that win over China. Losing to Great Britain by five and Canada by seven has brought them back down to la terre. Although, the way things are going, they'll probably beat USA by one tomorrow.
Denmark, 1-3 — The big ends are killing the Danes. Twice they allowed Great Britain to score three in an end. Their consolation prize? The Dupont sisters. (Not a terrible prize.)
Germany, 1-3 — After that opening-round win, it's been a tough set of games for the Germans. Their Scandinavian neighbors beat them up pretty good, and since their USA win they've failed to score more than one point in an end.
United States, 0-4 — Which brings us to the disappointment of the tournament so far. They're not going to reach the playoffs. But their losses, especially their last three, have all come down to the final stone. Their last three losses to Norway, Switzerland, and Denmark were all in extra ends. And to pile on even more added pressure, skip John Shuster had the hammer every single time for what appeared to be relatively easy shots. (That is, shots that I would still likely miss badly.)
Ergo, Shuster has a total of three missed shots that would have won the game. They ought to be 3-1. As unfair the comparison is, Shuster might go down this Olympics as the biggest choke artist in perhaps any competition this year.
So there's only one thing left to do. Win their last five games.Powered by Sidelines