I have few hard and fast rules I hand out to friends. I mean, friendships aren't supposed to be about rules and should develop naturally. Listen, honey, I've never played by the rules. Anyone's rules. But I have absolutely no problem asking others to play, eat, sleep, work, and live by the ones I create.
I'm a contrary bitch. I know this. Best for you to just accept it and deal with it.
So, this rule thing I have...
As I mentioned, I have few rules, but the ones I have are pretty reasonable, I think.
- Treat me with respect. I'll do the same for you. Promise.
- Honesty trumps all. Except when I absolutely do look fat in my jeans and then, find some tactful and clever way to get me to change without telling me I look like an elephant, okay?
- Be forgiving. I screw up from time to time. I'll forgive you your transgressions if you forgive me mine.
- Don't die on me.
It's that last one that seems to be the most difficult rule for people to accept. Sure, they all say they won't die on me, but they sometimes do. And when they do, strange things happen to me.
I start off strong and accepting, clear and focused, and then I slowly fall apart. Sometimes it takes months. Sometimes weeks. And sometimes, I just skip the days thing and go right to hours.
Since learning of Buddy Blue's death, I've done the email and phone call thing. I've made plans to attend the memorial service. And, I've gone about my business as a means to keep myself occupied.
As the day wore on, I was slowing noticeably. I could attribute that to the fact that I'd been up since 2 a.m., or I could attribute that to the stress of bad news. The fact is, despite my stoic and sometimes aloof demeanor, it was simply too much to deal with.
I wasn't a long-time friend of Buddy's. Nor were we particularly close as far as "hey, c'mon over for a BBQ and some tunes" types of friends go, but we had a special friendship that allowed us the opportunity to know each other in our own weird way. Many emails, a few phone calls, the occasional personal encounter out in public, that's what we had. And that still gave us plenty of material to work with.