I am not a scary person; as much as I would like to pretend otherwise, no one is fooled. I have an affable face and there's nothing I can do about it. Unless I'm riled, my demeanor around strangers tends toward the polite, friendly innocence of a youth "raised properly". Which, to my intense irritation, leads to comments like "isn't he sweet" or "what a nice young man" (I'm not as nice as I appear). Let me make it especially clear to all girls out there, no matter how old you are: calling any male above the age of thirteen "sweet", "cute", or any other demeaning, insulting adjective will instantly and categorically destroy any chance of even friendship with that person. Seriously, don't do it.
Anyone who knows me well will be able to tell you that I often walk around with my face set in a tough, jaw-clenched squint. This is an attempt to counteract the "wouldn't hurt a fly" vibes I seem to unconsciously emit. It doesn't work. The best I can hope for is to look like a "nice", "sweet", "innocent" guy in a really, really, bad mood. Although for anyone remotely well acquainted with me the illusion (and illusion it is) soon wears off; if you saw me in the street you wouldn't be nervously fondling your cars keys for self-protection. Or so I had thought.
Last Wednesday found me huddled under a small tree, trying my best to weather the torrent of water that seemed determined to seep through every tiny gap in my jacket. It was my lunch break (work-experience week) and I'd arranged to meet a friend of mine, an aspiring lawyer and science whiz, on the church lawn. He was late. Bored, I was staring about me for something to look at, when I spotted a church propaganda poster on a message board some 50 meters away. Curious- I'm not religious but I find Christianity fascinating - I wandered over to investigate.
As I neared the sign, my path crossed close in front of a middle-aged woman carrying her shopping home. Preoccupied with the rain and my destination, I didn't even notice her until we almost collided. At our closest proximity I glanced up, and so did she. She started in surprise, and what I can only describe as terror clouded her face. It was over in an instant, yet I suspect that she thought I was going to attack her. But why?
Article comments
1 - Joanne Huspek
Wow. Maybe things are different in the UK. Or maybe they are different where I live in Detroit. I don't feel that way at all about young people, especially the nicely dressed ones with good manners. Our Detroit business is not in a good area of town, but I've come to find that people are people, no matter the area.
Also, as a person who had a perpetual youthful scowl, I can appreciate that visage. Being young has always had its angst. I'm more likely to be intimidated by a bunch of screaming teenage girls at the mall. No, strike that. They don't bother me either.
2 - Lance Droy
Haha Pleased to met a fellow scowler :). Thanks for the comment. I'm glad Detroit isn't experiencing the same problems we in the UK are.
Although not everyone feels the way I describe, the constant teen-crime in the media is becoming a big problem. It's warping people's ideas.
3 - Dr Dreadful
When I spotted the title of this on the Fresh Comments page, I was afraid it was going to be another of Mark Manning's* bitter rants, but I was pleasantly surprised. This is a frank, thoughtful and empathetic piece which offers much to chew on. Kudos, Lance, and I look forward to reading more from you.
Although in my experience, the worst a herd of cows will do if you walk through their field is to follow you!
* In case you're not familiar with who I'm talking about, Mark is an American who is living in London for the sake of his English wife and hates it. You can read his BC articles here**.
** Free plug for you, Mark... you're welcome! ;-)
4 - Lance Droy
Hehe thanks for the compliment! I'll check out mark's work.
5 - Max
So you charge at a woman in the rain (albeit accidentally) and you wonder why she looked at you disapprovingly? Seriously? Maybe she was startled that she almost got injured by someone who can't be bothered to look where he's going...Maybe she was annoyed at the narcissism it takes to bolt wildly down the sidewalk to your intended destination with no thought of who might be between you and it.
If you want respect from society, you have to respect it back. At the very least you can keep your head up while walking down the street.