Sitting around eating snacks, listening to music, and writing this just for you.
You know you've been a Pot Head if...
You've ever said 'pack the bowl again.'
You think "puff puff pass" or "puff puff give" has a nice ring to it.
You can smell it 100 yards away in a concert.
You have multiple bottles of Visine in various locations "just in case."
You can't believe someone "smoked without you."
You know "Wake and Bake" isn't about cooking.
You know cigars as "Philly's" and it's a hassle that they come with tobacco inside.
You know that if you are desperate you can always find a "nug in your rug."
You can make a bong out of a juice bottle, a tube, and duck tape.
You have named anything you have ever smoked out of (King Bong, Chibus)
You know the difference between "Schwag, Beezers, KB, and Dank" by appearance and smell.
“Purple Haze” is much more than a Hendrix song.
You know that "Hydro" isn't just a comic book character.
You have a "friend" that you only talk to because they always have herb.
You have a nickname for it (Herbal Excellence, Big Tom Cruise, Silly Willy Schwage a Dilly).
You fully understand why it should be legalized.
You hear things in your favorite songs that you never realized were there before.
You have "rules" (rule #3 when you say you've had enough, you take one more hit. And then that's enough).
You have ever watched a movie then forgot what it was about.
You ate a whole pint of ice cream and then followed it up with pretzels, a bowl of cereal, and hot pockets.
You can easily quote lines from "Dazed and Confused" or "Half Baked."
The inside of your car is always dirty.
You have a legitimate argument about why you're not 'addicted.'
You belong to the “Find a lighter, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck" klepto club.
People are looking at me. They know man, they know.
You've ever had to abandon your shopping cart in a department store and leave because you were "getting bugged out."
Every idea you ever have you need to write down.
You forget to write down every idea you ever have.
You lived the words to “Sweet Leaf."
You begin to explain something to a friend and go on a tirade about something random. Then you forget what it was you were trying to explain in the first place.
You are such a vet that you can do “anything" stoned, and do it better.
You wish you lived in Canada, Amsterdam, or Nevada.
Your idea of an ideal vacation is Amsterdam (They have a lot of culture).
You can accurately portray a stoner (and do a fine impression, man).
You have a personal preference between Duchies, Spliffs, Blunt, and Joints.
You know how to roll.
You shed a tear when you see the police burning crops on the news.
You buy gum or Altoids by the case.
420 is a holiday.
2 words - Cannabis Culture.
You know 10-50 different words to describe ganjah. (Pot, Hemp, Bhang, Marijuana, Joint, Reefer, Dope, Ganja, Smoke, Weed, Herb, Marihuana, Hash, Sensemilla, Green, Greenbud, Thai-stick, Green-sticky, Dirtweed, Shake, Indian Canamo, Huang Ma, Mary Jane, grass, Ace, Aunt Mary, Bales, Boo Boo Bama, Buddha, Bush, Buzz, Cheeba Cheeba, Chronic, Dank, Doobie, homegrown, Maui-Wowie, MJ, Puff, Rasta, Reefer, Skunk, Smoke, Spliff, Trees, twigs, Whacktabacky, Whackyweed, Sweet Lucy, Stick, Stack, Shwag, Nuggets, Ragweed)
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Nash's Girl
That was beautiful. Truly beautiful.
2 - Jay
You know you're a pothead when you are making instant mashed potatoes at 3 am!
3 - b. herbal
just dang awsome. ya man, freakin awsome, hold on a sec i gotta hit my bong made from a aluminum bud light bottle. definitly some kb baby.
4 - Che
To #s 2 and 3
You know you're a pothead when you're a year and a half late reading this article.
5 - Hash's Girl
fully
6 - Douglas Mays
God, I love you!! Up here in Seattle a few years ago the people got an initiative on the ballot (I-75)that tells the cops that marijuana offenses are basically not to be dealt with. Official policy now is that having some bud on you is a lower priority that littering or jaywalking (true!)
"Seattle Speedball" is another term. It goes along with 'Wake and Bake' Get up, light up some of your powerful herb (the world's most powerful herb is here in Seattle. this Kush I hear about is not even close. Have not seen a seed in my stash for 25 years), take about 3 or 4 tokes then walk down to Starbucks and have a 3 shot cafe latte. It is a good high. Go out in the parking lot and light up again, get another latte and read the 2nd daily paper. Get both sets of comics in (nice being a 2 daily paper town, you get about 75 comic strips to read).
OK, we are pretty damn proud of our old growth here. I have not smoked a spliff in years. Man, you roll a spliff of this stuff you are lucky if you can even finish 1/3rd of it. Don't waste, just single toke out of your glass blown pipe. You'll get a lot more distance out of your stash.
Bud E. Green
7 - Douglas Mays
Oh, as a side thought, Seattle has somehow ended up with the killer herb. And Starbucks (and many other corporate coffee chains like SBC or Tulley's) have started and thrived here. Also many indy coffee houses.
Get the connection? I have always thought that Northwest herb is responsible for the kickstarting of Starbucks popularity. I've been drinking that stuff since 1971. Go figure...
DM
8 - STM
You know you're a pothead when the police turn up at 10.30pm looking for a previous occupant of the house over an oustanding parking fine (he went back to England a year earlier and is now causing trouble from 13,000 miles away) and peer through the giant plate glass windows, you've just had five cones each, the bong's in the middle of the floor, and someone panics and hides the big bag of super-strength Mullumbimby Madness (express posted by a mate who's taken a new interest in horticulture after moving to a commune in the hills behind Byron Bay) in the vacuum cleaner bag - where it remains for another three months because everyone is way too stoned and too freaked out to remember where it is hidden.
And the two police constables reel backwards in mock shock at the plume of smoke pouring out the door, laugh and ask if you are behaving yourself while you and the other four in the house are absolutely convinced that this time you're done for and they are going to cart you off for the night - but they just giggle and disappear into the night leaving everyone saying "Fark, man, that was close".
9 - Andy Marsh
You know you're a pothead when....
...you have a medical marijuana card from california in your pocket and you're not even a resident of california!
STM...at least you found the bag...eventually!
10 - STM
There was a huge risk it would never be discovered Doug, as no one ever used the vacuum cleaner.
One of the guys' girlfriends got so sick of it, she decided to vacuum the house - and that's how (and the only reason why) it was found.
The guy who hid it could never remember where he'd put it.
That was 27 years ago. It'd probably still be there now otherwise.
11 - STM
Andy I mean ... sorry mate. See what dope does to your brain?
There's a reason why it's called dope, rather than smart.
12 - Douglas Mays
hhhmmm...from a physiological point, here is the deal with herb. It keeps the body in an alpha state. It creates almost like a tephlon shield against all the stresses and attacks of the world and actually lets the body rest as if in a sleep state while one goes around and does daily process.
For example, I find that I can smoke some herb, watch the baseball game, late news, read and go to sleep. then I awake after maybe 5 or 6 hours feeling so fully rested. And I have dealt with the harsh issues of life without torquing.
Just a nature of the stuff.
anyway,
DM
13 - Douglas Mays
You know you are a pothead when....
You notice you have eaten 12 bowls of Cocoa Puffs at midnight.
14 - wtfwasinthisshit
damn im baked. wtf.
15 - wtfwasinthisshit
hey btw... about that one about dazed n confused. i swear, ive seen that movie fuckin 4 times and i couldnt tell you a damn thing that happened. is this a good thing? hahaha i dont see a problem with it but ya never know. :)
16 - Andy Marsh
STM - I have an old Kirby in the garage I was thinking of selling. Guess I better check it and make sure I never stashed anything in it before I do!
17 - chey
you no your a pothaed when you start every sentance with UMMM........
18 - mezface
wow...
Too true.
19 - Cheech and Chong
That just inspired us to go and smoke another nice big fatty. Your wicked cool. peace and happy trails. happy smokin.
20 - imwaytoostoned
omfg that's way too funny. guilty as charged. oh and doug... i know how it feels. i always put bud up in places that ill never put when im straight, and then find it weeks later just in time b/c im wantin some smoke. i love it. haha
21 - HipptyHop
wow this has just told me that i am a pothead i said yes to more that half of that god am so proud of myself
22 - imapothead
true.. but in ur names or watever u listed likeee 2 or 3 of em twice.. n i bet half the people on here arent as biga pothead as me.. fuckin liarss!
i love WEED SOO MUCHYHH ID MARRY IT N DIVORCE IT TO GET HALF OF WAT IT OWNSSS..
haha idkk watttim bored..
fuckers.
23 - hannah
You begin to explain something to a friend and go on a tirade about something random. Then you forget what it was you were trying to explain in the first place.
happens too often.
(:
24 - Thurogood Jenkins
I've lived in Seattle AND California and California wins hands down. The high grades in Seattle are better on occasion but in California you get better quality more often.
25 - SuperBluntz
I LOVE IT