No. 4: Sandwich Sign Girl… We’ve all seen them standing on the corner. No, silly, not those girls. I’m talking about the people wearing the “Going Out of Business” placards. I could do that, and as an added bonus, no dancing required.
No. 3: Clicker Counter… Even though I am certifiably math challenged, I think I could manage to click one of those counters when things pass by. Things like cars. I could sit in a little lawn chair by the side of the road with my glass of lemonade and some chips and salsa, and click, click, click away. I’d need an umbrella, of course. And maybe a little kiddie pool to keep my feet cool. And perhaps even a little lemonade stand on the side for those passersby who want to chat and sit a spell, but I'd probably end up chatting too much and clicking too little, so that job option might not last either.
No. 2: Flag Changer… Although I’ve never actually seen it done, someone must change the warning flags on the beach when conditions change. Bluish flags for jellyfish type warnings,t or yellow for calm to moderate waters. I could sit at the ready, flags by my side, lemonade in hand, and of course, chips and salsa for sustenance. I could probably even read some of those books from my “books to read if only I can find the time" shelf while I’m waiting to change those warning flags.
But the No. 1 job on my list…can I have a drum roll pah-leese…
Paint Color Namer…
Yep. Paint Color Namer…My friend Mary (the Queen Bee of high school journalism advisers) came up with that one. Somewhere there is a person who has to name the color of paint. You know, things like "Steamed Milk" and "Saybrook Sage." I could do that. Hails bails, I could do that sitting by my pool, eating chips and salsa, swimming with my dogs, all the while coming up with color names like Jack Shepherd Tan, Chipotle Speckled Red or Wild Willy Weeds. See what I mean?
I could do that, but as funnyman Cosby said, “Our children deserve better.”
So I guess I'll stay right here…with my 22 kiddos and the other 60 advisers and their kids. That color-naming gig is just going to have to wait.
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