Despite the bally-hooed trumpeting of impeding global warming and the outcries of rich environmentalist-types who believe it is only by taxing responsibly recycling Americans into poverty that we can offset the damage done in smoggy Third World countries, the truth is clear. The climate historically suffered a long cool-down period lasting most of the 20th Century before taking an uptick in the 1980s. Now we are back to cooling.
But climate change is neither here nor there when you live in an area where winter is always a brutally cold experience. When I hear my West Coast and Southeastern friends bitch and moan about their winters of rain, wind and/or fire, my ire is raised to the feverish level of whipping out my American Express card to purchase a one-way plane ticket to Whoop Ass.
I know I should not complain. I purposely moved from Colorado to Minnesota in 1975. Now, the Front Range can suffer from severe weather, but winter there is a crap shoot. I have witnessed sunbathers out in full force on a 70-degree January. In other years the same day could bring temps of 30 below. In 1986, I moved from the Twin Cities to Southeastern Michigan, akin to moving out of the igloo and into the refrigerator.
Had I really been high in high school, I might have followed a boyfriend or two to California and saved myself 35 years of torment.
When I was younger and more foolish, and especially after having children who could (miraculously) skate and ski, I tried to participate in winter sports. By that time, fear of falling (brittle bones) mingled with fear of failure (looking like an ass). After a tumble on the bunny slope – you really DO see stars when your brain has concussed – I gave up trying to enjoy winter.
Let’s face it. I am un-winterable, a certified spring-summer girl. I like flowers, green stuff and growing veggies. Flowers and green stuff turn into freeze-dried dust during winter. Although I have given up two-piece swimwear (my neighbors thank me), I still enjoy basking in the sun. Unfortunately for me, the sun decides to take a vacation Down Under when I need her most.
Article comments
1 - Jon Sobel
Nice stuff, Joanne! Except it's sad to me that you're buying into the "there's no global warming" conspiracy theories.
2 - Helen Gallagher
Good work, Joanne. I'm in Chicago and woke up to an outdoor temperature of 1.2 degrees. I've never seen them use a decimal before!
Helen
3 - Joanne Huspek
Well, Jon, if the last ten years are any indication, it's getting colder around here. There was ONE day of 90 degree weather last summer. When my son was born 22 years ago last summer, it was during a ten day heat wave of 100 degrees plus. I was thankful for an air conditioned hospital room.
That's not to say I don't think people affect their environment. But environment has been known to change even without people - look what happened to the dinosaurs.
4 - diana hartman
I so needed someone else to agree that cold sucks and the reminders of how to get through it. Thank you, thank you!