What are they thinking? They should have their own contest someplace else, like Baghdad or Kabul or Austin. Let my queens be. Let them strut their modified bods, sing fourth rate versions of Celine Dion songs, and speak inarticulately of rainbows and hand holding and world peace. Ah, peace. I'm not down with V.O.D., I'm up with P-E-A-C-E. Peace! That's what it's all about. And hot ass. Is that so wrong? Peace and hot ass! Hot South American ass, as they are always strong contestants in the competition. I still dream of Ninibeth Leal, Miss Venzuela, 1991. Oh, how I am filled with dreams of her beauty and funny American accent. The Miss World pageant must not be moved! The beauty pageant united will never be defeated! We shall overcome, my dawgs and dawgettes! So violence, put away your guns! Oppression, put away your intolerance! Death, put away your bikini, black is not back, and especially not on the stage of Miss World!
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."