I'm quite fond of beauty pageants. I think they represent what is best and true and wicked awesome about our world. They rock hard. There's no denying the eroticism of women strutting around in swimsuits and heels in front of an ugly audience, made up mostly of their family members and rich white people. Beauty queens are talented individuals with big flowing hair and terrific mams. They care about things like the importance of a well-balanced breakfast and how hitting people is wrong. Beauty queens are sharp as tacks too, why even a select few know the difference between a comma and a period. They're that good, my peeps. These women deserve to be put up on a pedestal and exhibited to people in bad suits and gaudy dresses. I love them.
Then there are the judges, the cream of the crop of the entertainment business and women-judging community. I'm often stunned by the star-power represented in the judges' circle. It's hard not to be by the likes of Meshach Taylor, Mark Gastineau, and Vecepia from 'Survivor IV'. The task is always a difficult one. They have so many questions to ponder. What makes one contestant hotter and sexier than another? How do the shiny buttons work on my judging computer? What happened to my career? Yes, the judges are under a tremendous amount of pressure, and how they hold up and stay cool under fire is what separates them from us, my homies and homettes.
I'm all about beauty and I'm all about pageants. That's why today my heart aches. Whither Miss World. Whither her beauty and talent and over-whitened teeth. Violence, oppression, and death have shoved her aside and taken center-stage. Worse even, violence, oppression, and death look slutty in their bikinis, and their little speeches about terror and revenge are cliche and formulaic. There is no place for violence, oppression, and death in a beauty pageant.
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Article comments
1 - Anne
First, three things: it's scary how Islamofacsists think, make no mistake. I'm also frightened by the left-leaning people who sympathize with these terrorists. And I want to look good and feel good about myself, make no mistake. It's a matter of self-respect.
So, on with my point: heaven forbid you be a homely woman. Maybe you'll never look like a beauty pageant winner, because that's just not who you are. But this doesn't make you any less of a person. Maybe you're just striving to achieve your own goals in life, to pursue what's true to you even if it differs from the norm. But if you have a brain, you'll be spared the morons who think that a woman must be attractive in a narrowly defined way.
And by the way, I'm all for handsomeness pageants. Cheesecake cuts both ways.
2 - Eric Olsen
Right on, on all counts Anne: I think thee aren't beauty pageants for men because women get to choose men (in our culture) in the real world and pageants give the satisfaction of reversing the process. In addition a male contest based upon beauty is too "faggy" unless it is under the pretense of body building or something "manly" like that.
3 - Anne
Yes, that's what the "Mr. Universe" contests seem to be about really. I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from. :)