It's like Paris is the Jacques Cousteau of celebrity culture: documenting the inner machinations of the jet set life for generations to come. And she has single-handedly made activities that would otherwise seem exciting, dangerous, and wild appear vastly boring, mundane and tedious. So much for my coke-fueled dreams of gang-banging in St.Tropez with serial rapists.
Alas, like every other scandal that has thrust Paris into the spotlight, she will survive this one — every stinking, horrifying STD infected moment of it — and rise, stronger like Conan, above it, unlike her peer in depravity, the beat-weaved Britney Spears.
Britney Spears was once a beacon of all things nubile but pure. She was seemingly carved from the very heart of America using her Lolita-like allure, coupled with a sweetness of southern hospitality, to capture our hearts.
Sadly, sometime after the demise of her fairy tale romance with Justin Timberlake, Britney hopped on the boat for Lower Expectations Island and, wandering there blindly, aimlessly, woke up one morning to find herself married to the greatest boobie prize of all: clownish back-up dancer and grimly lame wiggsta, Kevin Ferderline.
It's like she didn't even try. Some might say this was the first sign of what really lay beneath the shiny veneer: a Cheetos-snarfing, menthols-smoking, baby-neglecting, trashy swamp rat.
Britney has taken the rare and precious gift of iconic status, bestowed upon her by the best graces of our collective good will, and instead of growing into cultural royalty — a symbol of hope, a Princess Di for the new millennium — she has turned on us, baring her nethers, hissing, and fouling the nest.
After she announced her separation from the sperminator K-Fed, the public waited with anticipation, whispering silent prayers of hope that Britney would emerge from her social coma the transformed butterfly of beauty and grace we had all expected her to become; but instead our greatest hopes were dashed upon the rocks, our worst nightmares realized.
Britney could have staged a massive comeback of biblical proportions, easily riding the wave of goodwill and compassion earned by simply dumping her useless turd of a husband, banishing him to the oblivion from whence he came. Instead, she did the unspeakable.
Article comments
1 - Marcia L. Neil
Nice young women, caught in the cultural crossfire of the effort to control telephone demand-call strategies which had telephone harassment laws and obstruction-of-justice laws as a result. If you've ever complained about influence-network callers who won't stop even after police complaint -- claiming it's their freedom of speech to ruin/waste respondent time and health -- you'd know these two are actually decent young women singled out to 'spread' political influence while traversing uncommon terrains.
2 - Kaonashi
Second only to Whitney Houston, Britney Spears is the one celebrity who has disappointed me so much in such a short period of time. She wasn't the best singer, but she was a good entertainer and seemed like a sweet girl. I can't even begin to understand why she decided to destroy her career and reputation like this. I still like her music and think it's catchy, but I no longer respect the person.
3 - Dawn
Marcia, I am afraid I don't undestand.
Kaonashi - I concur. Britney has really turned on her fans and the public in general. Regardless of what celebrities think, they have a responsibility to their fans. Or else they will no longer have fans.
4 - Mary K. Williams
Comment #1 - talk about your non sequitur! Man, I couldn't make the connection.
Dawn, good work as usual. : )
5 - Dawn
Thank you Mary - your kindness is legendary ;)