Everyone's so concerned with the minutiae of the Michael Jackson trial that I haven't covered it at all here. But now it occurs to me that there's a much more significant issue to be discussed. Who cares what trivial, earthly courts say about Jacko. I'm much more interested in what's going to happen to him in the higher arena of celestial judgement.
Taking Dante as my inspiration, I wonder which circle of Hell Virgil would take a future visitor to if he wanted to find Michael Jackson. Running down the options of where he might be found, things just don't look good for him.
Jackson is too well qualified to get stuck at Circle 1 which is reserved for the neutral and uncommitted, sort of like hell light for amateur sinners who spend eternity getting stung by insects, so he skips right on to the more entertaining circles.
Circle 2: The Lustful - If MJ is extremely lucky he might stop here in his plunging descent towards Abaddon. He'd be in good company, but it's awfully crowded here and his strange stiff hair might not look good while being blown forever by stormy winds. But on the other hand, that's about as bad as the torment here gets.
MJ gets to skip circles 3 and 4 which are reserved for Greed and Gluttony. While he may be guilty of both, they're fairly trivial in his repertoire of transgressions, plus they're already awfully crowded.
Circle 5: The Sullen - If his behavior in court and his frequent late arrivals and absences are the basis, then MJ might end up here. It's probably a popular spot for the Hollywood crowd. And it's not too bad, he just gets to be submerged to the neck in the black water of the River Styx with his forlorn sighs endlessly rippling the water. Actually, given the places he's more likely to end up he should really pray he stops here.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - RJ
Damn... [pun intended]
2 - HW Saxton
I think the Dark Lord & his minions have
too much taste to let Jacko join their
club.Maybe,purgatory for life.No hope of
ever catching the up or down elevator
would probably suit Jacko best.
3 - Dave Nalle
Seems to me like even if he's not guilty of the things this trial is about he's well qualified just on some general behavioral things to fit in Circle 5 or Circle 8 (sub-section 10, of course).
Dave
4 - Kate
What a pathetic piece of writing. Is it supposed to be funny?
I don't understand the people who have so much hate towards this man.
I read information on his case, try to understand what he is about etc. However this type of writing makes you sound worse than those crazy, warped fans he has.
Condeming a man you have no knowledge personally of is criminally insane. I don't know if Jackson is Guilty, but I am waiting to hear the facts and I wouldn't dream of writing something as incredibly nautious as this.
5 - Nancy
Lighten up, Kate. Yes, it IS funny. Actually, one could speculate on the intended destination of just about anyone - you or me included - but MJ and his pecadillos are a lot better known and therefore slightly more interesting. Actually, it is interesting in and of itself to see what Dante thought was horrific and worthy of hellacious punishments back 700 +- years ago, as opposed to what he might list today, when things are so much more ... ah ... developed? I think the 9th circle full of politicians is still appropriate as the ultimate punishment, but I'm not so sure about the ice part. These days maybe I'd substitute endless polluting factories in an endless landscape of blighted waste - kind of like Elizabeth, NJ or Gary, IN. Actually, this kind of speculation would be a great blog: what would a modern version of Dante's Inferno be? And who would be there, and why. Surely there has to be a place for fundamentalist maniacs of all religions, which he didn't include, unless you want to stretch a point and throw them in with the heretics. And then there's the smirking posturings of J. Lo and other celebrities, who (it could be argued) inflict their lack of taste on an unsuspecting public, etc. etc. How about particularly egregious CEOs like Ken Lay or Bernie Ebbers? Greed, certainly, but there's an element of malicious rapacity there that surely merits something better, so to speak? And another great category Dante forgot: advertisers! Gotta have them - especially car dealerships. Yeah, definitely marketing people who inflict relentless stupid and obnoxious ads on everyone. I think I would also rearrange the circles, and put hypocrites much lower than they are now, but that's just my opinion. So, let's hear it for Dante's Circle - NEW & IMPROVED! - as the marketing folks say.
Meanwhile, to ALL those who find a blog offensive, whether this or any other, I would say this: as with TV or radio, if you don't like it, then don't participate. No one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to read and respond to any particular blog, so just move on to one you like better, instead of self-righteously castigating the opinions you don't agree with.
And keep it clean.
6 - Dave Nalle
Kate, follow the link to the map of hell from Dante. Who among us is not going to hell by those criteria?
As I did, Dante put both groups of people and specific individuals he found irritating in his hell, including contemporary politicians, religious leaders and writers who he thought were doing more harm than good in the world.
But rest happy, I'm sure there's a spot in hell reserved for bloggers, but I bet our spot is slightly higher and slightly less painful than the one reserved for humorless commentors.
Dave
7 - Victor Plenty
Bloggers probably get scattered around the 8th Circle, although a few may manage to qualify for the 9th.
8 - Mark Sahm
Perhaps Jacko believes in reincarnation and instead of going to hell, he'll come back as a truck stop toilet seat.
9 - Dave Nalle
Wouldn't he be happier as an elementary school toilet seat?
Dave
10 - Kate
Wouldn't you be happier lynching a 'witch' in Salem?
11 - Dave Nalle
And the humorlessness goes on!
Dave
12 - Kate
And the persecution goes on.
13 - Dave Nalle
As does the utter cluelessness...
Dave
14 - Nancy
Persecution of whom? You? Jacko? Y'know there's an old but very applicable saying that goes all the way back to the 1890s, a warning to celebrities: "If you seek fame, then you're fair game." Anyone seeking celebrity and fame knows in advance, especially in this day and age, that their privacy is pretty much nil. Besides which, the preponderance of them are attention junkies (and Jacko is no exception, as his past behavior has more than proven) and love ANY kind of attention, even if it's negative. MJ doesn't seem to hate the attention; what seems to bother him is the possibility of being punished, going to jail, and being unable to satisfy his various fetishes as well as being out of public view for some years. No one becomes a celebrity who wants a quiet, private life. And I repeat: if you don't like the blog, move on, dear. You certainly aren't going to save any souls here.
15 - Nancy
Besides which, most 'normal' people can't even begin to come up with anything to compete with the menu of oddities, bizarreness, and just plain weirdness that Jacko's provided, and even if they could, most normal people haven't and don't go parading their eccentricities of taste and behavior in public like Jacko has. If he hadn't been so self-aggrandizing about airing his perversities in public like a giant middle finger given to society at large, if he himself had not provided the fuel, it's not likely there would have been this large a fire. He also has a total lack of taste and inability to judge character, considering the vulpine natures of those he has consistently surrounded himself with over the years. Kind of like he's got a sign on his forehead that says, "come victimize me!" And then again, strange as it may seem to the rest of us, there ARE people who positively enjoy being abused, as well as those who subconsciously invite trouble and must always be surrounded by a whirlwind of controversy. They can't exist otherwise.
16 - Eric Olsen
I think it's funny and more than that, very informative. I had forgotten about all the subtleties of the Inferno and specificity of punishment per sin.
Kate, would you ban every comedian from making fun of anyone accused of anything? Seems a bit extreme.
17 - Kate
Yes I would Eric. You put yourself in his shoes. Whatever you think of his weirdness, his eccentricities, his 'freakiness', just realise that he is human too.
If you were accused of child abuse/murder etc and people the world over were making fun of you before a judgement has been made, i'm sure you wouldn't like it either. In fact i'm sure you would be devastated.
Morally, this article along with the hundreds of others crucifying him, stink. I DON'T KNOW whether he is Guilty. To me that's beside the point. The fact is, he has not been convicted yet and the thought of a media and public lynching terifies me. It shows exactly what kind of world we live in. Many of you may see it as only a bit of fun, poking this man with a big, rabied stick, but I cannot conform to this madness.
Nancy, you go on about 'normal' people this and 'normal' people that. Well in my opinion, your type of normal is horribly disingenuous. I'd prefer someone who is abnormal and knows the difference between right and wrong, antipathy and civility. If 'normal' people are like you and decide to take amusement from those who have not been convicted of anything yet, then I pity you and your 'kind'.
18 - Dave Nalle
It is abundantly clear from his public comments and behavior that Jackson is NOT normal and does NOT know the difference between right and wrong.
Solely on the basis of things he has said and done in public which are not even part of the trial he is clearly a deeply perverse and decadent individual. Condemning him in a theoretical way solely on the basis of those public actions and statements is entirely reasonable.
The key is, you don't have to be convicted of a crime to go to hell, you just have to be a sinner - and Jackson is certainly that.
Dave
19 - nick
Loads of opinions here but not a single argument or fact showing what your opinion is based on.
Your paper is worth an F mister Dave Nalle.
20 - Nancy
Well, Kate, obviously it will be a relief to you in heaven (since you are virtuous and sinless) not to have to share one of the circles of hell with those of us who disagree with you. Which is kind of a relief to us sinners, too...unless Hell means spending eternity having to listen to smug, self-satisfied commentary from those who are holier than us, lol! Right on: a NEW circle in Hell. What level does this one go on?
21 - Eric Olsen
well Kate, if we remove anyone accused of anything from the list of eligible comedic material, you're going to have an awful lot of time to fill
22 - Dave Nalle
At least Kate will have the company of the equally clueless Nick in whatever little pocket of paradise she ends up in.
Dave
23 - nick
Hey Dave we are getting personal now ;-)
You sound aggressive. Isn't it a sin ?
I'll pray for you soul
24 - Dave Nalle
What, you don't want to hang out with Kate and strum a harp? She seems like a nice lady.
Dave
25 - Mark Sahm
Remember those 80's documentaries of Jackson on tour, and the teenage girls in other countries lined up along the barricades around the stage, crying buckets of tears because they were so starstruck to see him live...
Well, I wonder what their opinion is of his trial now. I guess the point I'm getting at is that if your childhood hero turns out to be accused of deviant criminal behavior later, how would you stand?