When Birds Attack

Out of all the things that could happen when you're walking home from work, what do you think is the LEAST likely out of this list:

1. Dog attack
2. Splashed by a car
3. Bird crapping on your head

Oh wait, is one of those choices highlighted? Yes, that's right, highlighted. Why? Because it is so improbable that it is the obvious choice. Do you see where I'm going with this? Let me spell it out for those who missed it:

Walking home from work today, a bird crapped on my head

I'll set the scene: I'm walking home from work, enjoying the nice day outside. It's about a 15-minute walk from my work to my apartment, so it's not too bad. I'd also like to point out that I usually snag a ride from my fiancé to and from work (feel free to boo me at this point, but it's on her way).

Anyways, I'm strolling along like a sucker, about five minutes into my walk, when it happens. Now, it's important to realize that when you get crapped on by a bird, you may not realize it immediately. It can almost feel like a drop of water hit you. The last thing you may think just happened is that you got crapped on. What are the chances, I ask you?

Back to the story, I get this feeling and the first thing I do is reach my hand up and see what's going on. To my horror, it comes back wet and slimy. Oh yes, wet and slimy. Stunned, I keep walking. It slowly dawns on me what actually happened. If this has never happened to you, it's pretty hard to describe how disgusting it feels. You'll just have to take my word for it. Here's the worst part: I work right outside of Washington DC, in a busy little town called Arlington. What does this mean? It means there were more than enough people to witness this having happened. Even better, I still had a good 10-minute walk ahead of me.

Article Author: Kevin Augustine

I specialize in making the life of the everyday business professional easier. For free tutorials on common Microsoft Office applications such as Microsoft Word and Excel, career management advice, office life advice, funny office stories, and professional …

Visit Kevin Augustine's author page — Kevin Augustine's Blog