Names. We're all given one when we are born, tags that are stuck on us before we have developed any of our own characteristics or personality. Most of us were given at least two at birth, maybe even more. One of them identifies who we belong too, which clan or family group we are associated with, and the other is what's known as our given name, or names as the case may be.
Sometimes we're named for a forbearer, sometimes for a family friend, and other times just a random name chosen by your parents from a book. However the name is chosen, it's the one we end up hearing almost everyday of our lives. If you are a Christian, one of the first ceremonies you will undergo is initiation into the church via baptism where your soul and name are tied together and introduced to God.
I've always found it a little odd that so much importance is given to an appellation that was chosen for you by people who hadn't met you yet. Some people at least wait until after the baby is born to name it, but you can't wait too long because you've got to have a name ready to give to the church as soon as the mother and child are able to get out of bed.
Even if the baby isn’t to be baptized, there is pressure on the parents to name the child right away. I've never understood why. The kid isn't going to be responding to it for a couple of years anyway. At most they will give it the same amount of attention a dog will give when you call its name, a conditioned recognition and nothing more.
In other words, a name is nothing more than a convenience in the first years of a child's life, a way for the parents to have a means of addressing them in a manner more personal than pronouns and differentiating their brood from someone else's in crowded situations like playgrounds.
Aside from teachers calling roll in class, the only other service that a name provides is ammunition for being teased mercilessly if your name is at all odd, or if you have become a target for bullying.
Supposedly we live in a world where we are free to make choices about who and what we are. Any child can grow up to be anything, but not with a name of their own choosing. If we really wanted a name to have something to do with the person who is being named, we would wait for them to reach a certain age and allow them to have a hand in naming themselves.
Article comments
1 - chantal stone
interesting piece, Richard. i agree that it's a personal choice to change ones own name, and should be respected by all.
2 - Ty
I feel bad for people who have names that are difficult (or impossible) to pronounce properly by most Americans. I have a friend who has a name which has a phoenetic sound not used in English, so nobody besides his family and people of his ethnicity can say it right.
His brother also has an unusual name, and has noticed that people either quickly remember it (and remember forever) or quickly forget it and never remember it (they just remember it's different), so the poor guy had to come up with nicknames all his life because these people would easily remember the nicknames.
Now that guy automatically doesn't like people who quickly forget his name, and thinks it makes them look bad. And I know it hurts his feelings too. Flat out, it sucks to have a unique name.
But I can also see how it can suck to have a common name.
3 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Most of my life I was known by a different name than I have now. I had been given a Hebrew name and a "civil" name. When I came here, I dropped the "civil" name, one of Germanic origin appropriate for exile. We did the same for all the members of the family.