What You Wanted

How to be what you want me to be.
What I wanted to be which is what
I saw in my head, quite likely unlike
anything you saw. In fact, now that
I think of it, I feel certain our visions
are divergent. That what you want
is one who never was me. So dark
and different, a real polar opposite,
it leaves one of us alone, without love,
or without what you offer, what I offer.
I am not what you want. At last, I saw it:
I do not want to be what you want.
I may be some of those things. Certainly
when I am gone, I will be what you want.
Yet now, love, I become what I want.
What I like, who I am, not an approximation
or a thing you may want, some cheap or false
copy that falls short. No. I am saturated - self.
Today a friend writes “Dear, you are lovelier than air.”
and I fall to my knees with such gratitude.

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Article Author: Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti

Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti is a published writer in both the United States and Europe. She is widely known for her music commentary, particularly her writings about Bob Dylan about whom she runs a highly-trafficked site. …

Visit Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti's author pageSadi Ranson-Polizzotti's Blog

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Article comments

  • 1 - Aaman

    Feb 01, 2005 at 4:21 pm

    Wow - two poems, one after the other - talk about synchronicity - and I think I seem to see some thematic resemblance.

  • 2 - Shark

    Feb 01, 2005 at 4:33 pm

    Sadi, nice piece. Heartbreaking. I hope your despair is not as deep as it sounds. Here's a digital hug, babe.

    ~[[ ]]~


    PS: one question - I've never understood why poets put line breaks where they DON'T contribute to the beat and breaths of the piece. Or should I assume you intended that?

    best,
    Shark

  • 3 - Shark

    Feb 01, 2005 at 4:35 pm

    my favorite line:

    ...when I am gone, I will be what you want...

  • 4 - sadi

    Feb 01, 2005 at 4:35 pm

    thanks shark (((back))) at you.

    no, not as bad it sounds. perhaps i take poetic license too much. the line breaks should be abrupt here and awkward, a bit like spitting or coughing.... good that you caught that. this should be hard to read out loud, and that is part of the point; hard to swallow.

    love love and all best to you.
    s.

  • 5 - sadi

    Feb 01, 2005 at 4:36 pm

    ain't that the way it always is, tho - when i am gone... etc.

    back to interview here...am in the middle of interviewing musician for site here. should be pretty grand, i pray.

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