How to be what you want me to be.
What I wanted to be which is what
I saw in my head, quite likely unlike
anything you saw. In fact, now that
I think of it, I feel certain our visions
are divergent. That what you want
is one who never was me. So dark
and different, a real polar opposite,
it leaves one of us alone, without love,
or without what you offer, what I offer.
I am not what you want. At last, I saw it:
I do not want to be what you want.
I may be some of those things. Certainly
when I am gone, I will be what you want.
Yet now, love, I become what I want.
What I like, who I am, not an approximation
or a thing you may want, some cheap or false
copy that falls short. No. I am saturated - self.
Today a friend writes “Dear, you are lovelier than air.”
and I fall to my knees with such gratitude.
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