The Magical Hanukkahtime Section Variety Hour is an eight-day festival of light reading. BC Magazine's sports editor spreads his Gentile love in every other section but his own. And because it's Hanukkah, the gifts of are substandard quality: in this case, it's an article. Today: BC Culture.
So you've decided to not drive to your senile great aunt's house this year. You're going to fly. Good for you. It's statistically safer. Furthermore, the whiplash isn't nearly as painful down the road when you get in a plane accident, you know, on account of the death and all.
So... you've decided to drive after all. Wait! I apologize, I'm rude sometimes. Flying is safe. Of the 30 flights I took this year, not one of them ended on a mountainside. That's a 100 percent rating, and should not deter you from boarding an airplane. Especially because the security is enhanced by the Transportation Security Administration's airline carry-on guidelines.
And the airlines are urging passengers this holiday season to not jam as many things into a carry-on as you possibly can. Better yet, just forgo carrying anything on altogether. Actually, just travel in the nude. That way the TSA readily has access to check for bombs under your skin.
But if you are one of those bold souls who defies advice and must pack carry-ons, here are some tips so you don't get caught in those long lines at the checkpoint, or the short, hidden lines for the good ol' cavity search:
• All liquids must be in three-ounce containers sealed inside one one-quart bag. It's difficult to abide to the 3-1-1 Rule, so this is why any barrels of blood you take with you, you should freeze in advance. Also, if you have to go No. 1, empty your bladder down to three ounces or less before you board the plane, even if it's at the ticket counter. It's for your own safety.
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Article comments
1 - Alexandria
I love the nesting laptops! Great article and so true. I need to know someday why my 2 oz. bottles of shampoo, lotion and conditioner (stolen from the last hotel) is only acceptable in a ziplock bag. If I were bent on destruction, I doubt I'd think, "Darn it, now my battery acid is securely sealed, I guess I can't access it."