What is it about a French woman that makes her so sexy?
As a decadent domestic minx, with no small interest in being adored, I was curious to see if the answer could be found in two lipsticks and a lover? According to Helena Frith-Powell in her sharp and witty book, Two Lipsticks and a Lover, there is much more to indefinable French chic and alluring Gallic sexiness than the title suggests. Being smart, sexy and impossibly French requires effort and more than a little 'je ne sais quois.'
As Coco Chanel once said, “Elegance is refusal.” Elegance requires pencil-thin, smartly dressed restraint. It means saying no to the extra cheese, no to the croissant and a definite non, merci to that third glass of wine. (ouch!) Au revoir to the muffin top. Au revoir to the lush!
French woman see chic and vogue as paramount. Making an effort at all times and not skimping on the details is rule number one. Leaving the house, even to take out the rubbish, will always require lip-gloss. Exquisite and expensive matching underwear is 'de rigeur' and a bad hair day is simply out of the question.
As Frith-Powell points out, “If someone is badly dressed or looks shabby, the French will not take them seriously. Letting yourself go physically is seen as a sign that you cannot hold things together intellectually. The big thing is the souci de soi, or care for oneself, in every way. This means brains and looks; you can’t let yourself go and be intellectually rigorous. In other words, the French would rather forgive an extra-marital affair than a bad hair cut.”
If you want to be indefinably French and gorgeous it is vital to make time for yourself; visit the hairdresser, walk instead of drive, pamper your body potions, eat smaller portions, buy yourself a lipstick or two and entertain a lover on the side.
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Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - ProfEssays
I don't think that French women are sexier than the ones of other nationalities.
2 - Nancy
Mais non, they are NOT-! They just have better accents. Seriously. There's something about the French or Italian accent - or the Brit, Scot, or Irish, for that matter - that makes most Americans stop dead, get glassy-eyed, and say: "Go on - go on; you don't have to say anything of substance - just read me the phone book - but keep talking." Some Carribean accents (I'm thinking the guy who did the voiceover for the crab in Disney's "Little Mermaid") are like that. And James Earl Jones. I swear he could read a Ty-D-Bowl label & it would sound like Shakespeare.
Anyway, all the French/European women I've met have not been groomed; in fact, the opposite. Of the dozen or so I've known, most of them were slovenly & unhygenic in a way American women would NEVER allow themselves to be. I always look at even the well-dressed Coco Chanel type & shudder, because she probably hasn't shaved her underarms, or given herself more than a quick spongebath, any more than her less affluent sister, even tho she may indeed be wearing "exquisite" underwear; to which I reply, yes - but is it clean? There seems to be a big divide between US & European standards of personal hygiene. One reason why I may like to LISTEN to a European speak, but I don't want to get too up-close & personal either.
3 - Christopher Rose
I'll probably get torn to pieces for this but French women aren't that sexy - and sound way better speaking English than French, which is a seriously over-rated language! Mon Dieu!!
We must be moving in different circles Nancy, for I've rarely met any European women that weren't impressively clean. Apart from a few anarcho-crusty chicks of course. I don't share your aversion to hairy armpits, although it's quite rare these days.
As to general hygiene, many people and houses these days are too clean, which leads to weaker immune systems and an increase in everything from allergies to asthma.
The big divide could also be described as those who are neurotic about their animal bodies and those that accept them. As in all things, too much is, well, too much...
4 - Christopher Rose
Oh, sexiest women in Europe? Belgians, especially the Flemish ones. Most neurotic - German girls.
5 - Nancy
Of course I am the wrong gender to make a judgement; but I agree I don't think it's the French.
I'm judging by a college roomies' large & very extensive French family & their French friends who constantly visited. My roomie & her sisters washed & shaved 'normally' - for US practices, that is. None of the other women did, including those our age. In a gathering, the immediate area of these people was sort of ... not exactly gamey, but a definite human body sort of odor that was very off-putting, altho not as bad as when someone drenches themselves in bad perfume.
6 - Craig Freeli
I find this text very amusing and dreadful at once - and I don't know if this really reflects reality. Thoughts of misbehaving and having fun with others than your partner are common for women and men, equally. It's not a French thing only.
I find it very disgusting - you'll have to live with the consequences if it gets revealed. So, it's not all about fun, but taking responsability and over all, making the right choice. Once you start having this spoiled behaviour, you will certainly disappoint people and in the end being very disappointed yourself.
I'd say, it's a matter of how egoistic you are - and how badly you need to have power over others. But in the end, it will always track you down. Power and love just don't fit.
7 - Claire
French women, (and evidently not all of them!) have the burden of their culture's endemic sexuality on their elegant shoulders.
With knowledge comes power, with power comes responsibility..
I agree with you, Craig. Selfish abuse of (sexual) power is world wide. It appears the French are simply more socially accepting of it. Does this make it ok? I'm not French...
8 - Gina
I do not think that French women are the most sexy at all. I think that French woman's obsessive qualities about their looks, no-holds-barred sexuality, thinness, and fashion sense makes them all the more a slave to men and their narrow-minded ideal of what beauty and liberty truly is.
I always thought that women who were beautiful but didn't strive for it so painfully were most sexy. Who comes to mind is Sophia Loren, who was the most sexiest woman, but completely monogamous to Carlo Ponte. A sexy woman doesn't need to gad about with other lovers. Sophia was sex Goddess as there's a magic to her eyes, her laugh, her robust sexuality without the obsession with thinness, and fashion. She is a true individual.
Also, Marilyn Monroe was not thin by French standards, and her personality and sex appeal were uniquely hers.
So the French persnickity ideal of sexiness is rather cliched. And since when is cliched sex appeal ever truly sexy? The sexist woman ever to come out of France was Brigette Bardot. She was uninhibited, carefree. No French star has touched her sex appeal since.
9 - Claire
I enjoyed reading your comments, Gina.
Personally, I believe enduring sexiness to be something wholly uncontrived. While glamour, elegance and the whole beautiful cliche is sexy on one level, a woman who is concerned more about the people she spends time with is ultimately more desirable than an unchipped nail.
I think, Gina, you might enjoy an article on my blog titled "Live Sexy", where I explore this issue. The Domestic Minx
10 - Pierre
Hi
Even if I'm French, living in Paris, I can't agree with you.
In a way you're right saying that French women really pay attention to the way they look in France but this is only true in Paris. In other cities (what we call "la province", with arrogance & thinking they're all farmers) women are not looking so good. In Paris this can even turn ridiculous. I live in St Germain and women (and girls.. even 12 years old girls) wear for thousands of € of lipstick, jewelery, clothes, lifting and all that... Of course any girl in the world will look pretty with all this, but this has nothing to do with beauty or charm.
And no we don't think this reflect any smartness or whatever... Being smart has nothing to do with the way you look...
For me your article is a bit "cliché" (I don't want to offense you, we are a bit "cliché" when talk about another culture).
The French women are all different, they can be Chinese, Indian, Spanish, Russian, German, be punk, rasta, go go girl, business girl, stupid, clever, ugly or just fu**** gorgeous.
11 - Polly Crowen
Yes I agree with you.
French women do care a lot more about their appearance.
Looking beautiful is a must have in France which can be very stressful sometimes.
12 - Caroline
I am French living abroad, and this is VERY cliché. NONE of the French women I know consider in any ways acceptable to cheat on your partner. We are a bit old fashioned, very shy and reserved (uptight even) compared to the other nationalities, because our men have a domineering and sexist attitude which make the women definitely competitive and jealous of one another.
But yes we love to be loved, but who doesn´t ? Our men are also very good at the game of seduction (compliments and lies). Regarding the "style", only 1/4 of women make an effort...you´d be disapointed when going to France ! Everyone just wears black and no creativity, and are very judgemental when you dare something different.
But in general we are not as fat as some nations.
Without being gym addicts, the French women are diet addicts....it´s all they talk about together !
13 - Laura
As a french woman myself, I must disagree a bit with this column (hell, if I agreed with anything completely I couldn't call myself French, now could I?). French women are thin because portion sizes are more reasonable, not because they restrict themselves. In fact, French women pride themselves on a little bit of curves (just not too much).
14 - Emmanuelle Pasquet
I am almost laughing with some of the comments... I am French and I can tell you, for having met a lot of American people, that the thing about the accent being sexy is right. In France, I'm considered a pretty girl but in America, I'm considered hot.
The writer is entirely wrong, French women are not always wearing make-up, nice dresses... we are just like you, if we go to work (well it depends on the kind of job you have of course) we are well-dressed, the same if we go out but not when we stay at home! And as far as I'm concerned, I am most of the time without make-up, even at work sometimes and it is not considered as being unrespectful or whatever.
And another thing, we are not unhygenic, and I would say 98 % of French women shave their armpits. And the thing about being "free" and having affairs is absolutly wrong. Of course some people in France as elsewhere will behave like this but in France, it would rather be men being "free". And it also depends on the place where you've been... you'll find more women being "free" in Paris than in the other regions.
My conclusion: just stop generalizing and having prejudice.
15 - Cindy
Hurray for the French women!!!
16 - Cindy
Internet = immediate dispelling of myths.
17 - Tatiana
My Gosh! almost everything written here it's wrong, you're deeply in the clichés! What's a shame to juge the entire people according to movies, books and music. Books and songs tell you things they know you'are gonna like, that is "liaisons dangereuses", "oh-là-là" etc...
I'm Russian leaving in France for 4 years now.
It's true that it's hard to find a true friendship among girls here, but it isn't because of jealosy at all, it's just a european trait.
I think French women are charming, but not thanks to their clothes, lipstik or so, in opposite, the most part of them are dressed rather slovenly, comparing for example to Russian women.
So, let's not to simplify things...
18 - Chelsea Ann
I think this is a stupid article, to be honest. (Sorry to be so harsh)
All it says it that if you want to embrace the elegant french style, you can't be more than stick thin. I think this is bull crap, simply lowering the self-esteem of non-french, non-anorexic people. Thanks.
19 - the domestic minx
Evidently, it is not the only thing that is stupid. (sorry to be so harsh)
This is a book review.
I suggest you invest in a sense of humour and perhaps two more lipsticks, and a lover.
Merci.
20 - Jean-Francois
I also live abroad and I'm reaaaally feed up of those crap cliches !!
French woman are really charming, clean etc. LIKE MANY OTHER WOMAN IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES !!!!
If you want to compare other cultures, please ask competent people who study sociology or whatever but please stop using cliches !
21 - roger nowosielski
It's not just a French woman. It's Frenchmen, period.
It's the language!
22 - Axel
This is so wrong. At least live there before saying things you don't know about. Don't generalize all french women as being anorexic, silly, appearance-obsessed gooses!
As a french man who lived five years in England, I can tell you that french women are no different than other european women. I have however noticed that they wear ALOT of black, more than english women. Quite a lot of our men are machos, which is why french women check their appearance to see if they are suitable before going into public. Anyway, can we really say that french women, belgian women, german women, and russian women look extremely different?
It isn't a couple of lines drawn on a map of europe that's going to change women's appearances. Hope you see what I mean, I'm tired right now ;)
23 - Axel
PS: Why does everyone (well, many people at least) think the french language is so romantic?! *shrugs*
Good for us :) ;)
24 - April
So far, all I have heard about French women is that they are ruthlessly competitive, high maintenance 'natural' beauties who blow their paychecks on Hermes scarves. Either that, or catfighting femmes fatale coated in make up and perfume.
I would hate to have books written about what people think of me as 'the average American.' I think I am just going to have to visit France and meet the people myself before I form an opinion.
And all these books about the French lifestyle? I will take them like any other book; as interesting information and an entertaining read.
25 - ozzy
Oh I must say ,after travelling through Europe on holiday.There were absolutely gorgeous woman in all the different countries..though I would have to agree with a lot of people that the French langauge is a pleasure to listen to .Au revoir