I finally headed down to the Wal-Mart Supercenter in my neighborhood just to see what all the hoopla was about.
There were no parking spaces left near the entrance of the behemoth building so we drove across the great expanse of asphalt and, once parked, hiked our way back in to the west entrance.
Once inside Wal-Mart, I found it a sight to behold. From the shiny white teeth of the greeter at the door to the shiny linoleum floors and the shiny happy people shopping within, it was like the 1964 World’s Fair, a Republican National Convention, and Disneyland – all at insanely discounted prices – rolled into one.
As my friend and I headed down one of the endless upon endless aisles, the oversized signage screamed as we passed…
Always Low Prices, Save – Save – Save, Wow! Check Out This Value and, as if everything wasn’t already priced nickel on the dollar, Super Item! Save Even More.
“How can everything here be so cheap?” I wondered. “Substandard pay and health care benefits for the employees,” my friend replied. God bless America, eh?
Another prominently displayed sign read 200% Satisfaction Guaranteed. Two hundred percent? Now I’m not real good with numbers, but that either implies we’re supposed to shop in pairs – a shopping “buddy system” as it were, like when you’re in the wilderness or lifting weights, so nobody gets lost or hurt – or else somebody in the advertising department needs to go back to community college and brush up on those math skills.
Discounting the impossible percentiles, we moved along to the canned aisles. Canned fruit, canned vegetables, canned meat, canned pasta – everything anybody could ever want for a four-course meal all canned for your convenience. The can openers were thoughtfully displayed at the end of the aisle. Boxed dinners, however, were in another aisle because, after all, mixing cans and boxes only leads to confusion and a ruined meal.
The canned beans were located at the end of another aisle too, the one marked Latino. That’s also where we found the “Wal-Mart Tortilla Supercenter”, a stand-alone display that finally answers the question, “When will tortillas get the respect they deserve?”
Article comments
1 - MT
I'm well aware of all the negatives that are associated with Wal-Mart
but I will still continue to shop there.
Why -- because they have the best
products at the best prices. It's as simple as that.
As a consumer, I have no bones to pick with W-M. What can be purchased for, let's say, $30
at W-M would cost something like $45 elsewhere. I'm not in the habit
of throwing my money away.
2 - boomcrashbaby
This is an excellent post. You are a talented writer.
In regards to comment 1, it's been proven statistically (although I didn't save the links) that with Wal-Mart paying their people such a low rate, many of them get their income subsidized by welfare, so when you save 15 dollars on your purchase, the tax in your area went up at least that much to compensate.
3 - Steve Rhodes
MT, watch Is Wal-Mart Good for America? tonight. It might raise some questions.
One thing is Wal-Mart uses low cost items to lure you in, but they don't always have the cheapest prices. And prices can go up when they destroy their competition.
4 - Cap'n Ken
Excellent post? Talented writer? HA!
Look, If Wal-Mart offends you ... if you look down upon canned food ... just don't shop there.
I'm proud that I've given exactly $0 to Wal-Mart Stores Inc. this year, but I don't put down on people who shop there or the experience as a whole.
This is the same kind of problem the Democrats have with Bush voters (I'm neither a Democrat or a Bush voter). They look down on the Red Staters, call them Jesus freaks, mock their suburban or rural values. And they think Bush voters are stupid hicks just because they don't think the same way as Kerry voters.
Just because something seems strange, excessive, bland or boring to you, that doesn't mean it has no value for others - people who (believe it or not) aren't like you! And to not be like you isn't necessarily a bad thing!
5 - Victor Plenty
Yes, excellent post. Yes, talented writer. On this one I must concur with Boomcrashbaby.
It's quite possible for a post to be excellent and a writer to be talented, even with a point of view that doesn't guarantee 200% satisfaction for Cap'n Ken.
At least Mr. Petrisko merely offers genteel ridicule of people who are not like him, rather than saying such people deserve "a bullet in the head," as Cap'n Ken recently went on record to state.
Well done, Mr. Petrisko.
6 - MrPC
Along with frontline doc tonight, CNBC has been airing their own neutral 2 hour doc called "The Age of Wal-Mart." Very interesting.
My problem is what most people's beefs are: they always look to save costs. We get cheap products at the expense of their associates who get little pay and pay larger premiums for health insurance, and as someone said, many of these people need welfare, especially single moms raising 2 kids on their $15,000/year pre-tax salary (or less).
I would be happy if they just raised salaries and picked up all premiums on health insurance. Of course they won't because it works fine now (the associates don't strikem no organized labor) and the customers don't avoid shopping there, because we (incl. me) don't want to waste money going to another store and buying the same exact product for more money.
Most wal-mart associates' paychecks end up going right back to wal-mart because associates buy everything they need at wal-mart, they can't afford anything else.
I don't like unions for the most part, but Wal-Mart associates are probably the largest group of Americans that REALLY need to unionize and force Wal-Mart to change their strategy from "cut costs EVERYWHERE" to "cut costs EVERYWHERE but associate compensation."
Just imagine a strike by wal-mart associates in all US stores. That would make Wal-Mart cave in, and prices of products don't have to go up because they have a stranglehold on every vendor in america, including Coke, Pepsi, you name it and Wal-Mart owns it.
7 - boomcrashbaby
yes, it is good writing, because of the wit, the satire. It's good writing, period.
This is the same kind of problem the Democrats have with Bush voters
I didn't see it as belittling Wal-Mart shoppers, but satirizing the 'scope' of a wal-mart store. It was funny and it was good. We need a lot more writing like this.
Unfortunately in this day and age, to some people it always comes back to partisan issues.
8 - Cap'n Ken
Bullets to the heads of all of you!
I'll give you that the bit was amusing, and there's a lot about Wal-Mart to poke fun at.
But this is exactly the kind of attitude - "God, people who shop at Wal-Mart are bargain-crazed hick freaks!" - that speaks to the real problem faced by today's Blue-Staters (meaning the "elite" "immoral" Democrats that Christians are so afraid of).
Maybe Wal-Mart isn't for you. It's not for me, either. Like I said, I've not spent one cent with Wal-Mart Stores Inc. this year.
So I'm not defending Wal-Mart. And I'm not a Republican or a conservative.
What I'm getting at is if the Democrats want to ever win back a Red State, they need to stop looking down on the people who live there.
9 - 23 year "Associate"
I am guessing this writers glass is half empty??