So this was embarrassing for Wal-Mart, for Long Island, and — hell, sure — for the country. What will be even more fun to watch, however, will be to see who the legal system assigns the blame on this one. The mob? The store? Bush? Obama? Richard Jewell? Or, here's a novel concept, perhaps they can rule the unfortunate death as an accident, poke society in its craw, and mumble a few words about self-control and the spirit of the holidays, and wait for the next Onion-esque circumstance to unfold. Perhaps a man will leave his cell phone at a McDonald's with nude pictures of his wife, the pictures will show up online, and the man will sue McDonald's. We'll just have to wait and see.
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."