Although no charges will probably be filed against them, I demand an investigation of all writers of The Onion to see if they accidentally wrote a satirical story that came to life, Jumanji-style. Because that's just how stereotypical this tragedy is.
We have Wal-Mart, the symbol of unfettered capitalism gone asunder. We have the day after Thanksgiving, known as "Black Friday," where people are known to go crazy for 5 a.m. "doorbuster" sales at department stores. ("You can't beat these prices unless you, y'know, go online!") We have an apocalyptic unruly mob, only instead of racing fellow consumers for Soylent Green or the new Brawndo flavor, they want 20 percent off flat-screen TVs. And we have the death of a Wal-Mart employee, trampled to death, as hundreds of avid customers skip over his body, unaware of the grisly death underneath their tennis shoes. A pregnant woman was also injured in the bullrush.
This actually happened, right? This wasn't some kind of viral video stunt? Because that would somehow make more sense.
After reading comments in the Fark and Daily News' threads, one central theme is clear. "This, my friends, is everything that is wrong with America," wrote one commenter. Another reader said, "How absolutely sickening! It just confirms my belief that Black Friday is the High Holy Day in the religion of Materialism when everyone bows down to the Almighty Dollar."
Those sentiments, and more, are probably true. Building on that, these are thoughts that, in dystopian words depicted in Idiocracy and Rollerball, don't exist except maybe in the head of the lone protagonist. As a society we pretty much have clear boundaries of right and wrong. Wrong: fatally running over a retail store worker. Right: Um, not doing that. Wrong: Letting your kids run free in the aisles. Right: Yelling at your children in a public venue, which will teach them a valuable lesson, years later reminiscing while on a therapist's coach, on how to be a bad parent.