When reporters asked Amare Stoudemire about the team's lack of defense, he said, "Hey, nothing opens up a lane faster than a 300 pound Vietnam Vet coming at you at 15 mph doin' wheelies and dribblin'. Not even Shaq can be that scary."
"Nobody likes to lose," Nuggets general manager Kiki Vandweghe said from Denver, "but Larry Brown is hoping that the team will respond to the loss — and is also planning a public humiliation of Alan Iverson for a bit of added 'motivation.'"
At a press conference after the game, superstar Alan Iverson told reporters, "Our scouting reports said they couldn't hit the broad side of barn. Unfortunately, there wasn't a barn within miles of the basketball goal, so we were a bit surprised by the accuracy of their shooters. I blame Larry Brown."
Brown has his work cut out for him between now and Athens:
* The latest Dream Team is short on shooters, as was evidenced by Team USA's 0-for-33 effort on 3-pointers Friday night — whereas the YMCA Blind Wheelchair Team was full of short shooters; because they were in wheelchairs, none of the USA Dream Team's opponents stood over 4'4".
* This team doesn't play defense quite like Brown's Detroit Pistons. The YMCA ALL-STARS drilled 20 3-pointers - it put up 60 - and showed superior ball movement.
* The offense, with Marbury and Wade running it, was out of sorts, committing three shot clock violations, struggling against the wheelchair zone — turning the ball over 23 times.
"I really question whether the basic basketball knowledge of Team USA and the limited time Larry Brown has to get them on the same page is enough to win a gold medal," said Ric Bucher, who covers the NBA for ESPN. "Tomorrow, they play a team of All Stars from Bumfugue Georgia who ride mules and have one hand tied behind their backs. If they lose that one, I don't think they'll bring home a Gold from Athens."
At the end of the post-game press conference Friday night, coach Larry Brown seemed to sum up the concerns that USA Basketball avoid a humiliation in Athens: "The best we can hope for is a terrorist attack to cancel the games."
Article comments
1 - Dirtgrain
"and is also planning a public humiliation of Alan Iverson for a bit of added 'motivation.'"
Could Larry Brown and Alan Iverson be the next Abbot and Costello?
2 - RJ
Better be careful here, Shark. You just made fun of a dozen successful "people of color," so I expect you-know-who will be making an appearance shortly... ;-)