A little over a month ago, I adopted a three-month-old Papillon puppy from my workplace. I decided to name the little bugger Bodhi (BO-dee), short for Bodhisattva, the Buddhist deity of Zen, hoping it would rub off on him. A month later, I realized the precocious little pup could talk. Or it's that damn LSD again...
And so I present, the touching story of a girl on her own in the big city with nobody but a dog to keep her company, Tuesdays with Bodhi...
Bodhi: Let me sit on your lap.
Chelsea: I can’t right now. I’m trying to type up an article and I’m on a deadline.
Bodhi: So why can’t I sit on your lap?
Chelsea: Because I said.
Bodhi: Let me sit on your lap or I’m going to continue to claw into your thigh.
Chelsea: Fine. Sit on my lap.
Bodhi: Thank you. Now I'm going to put my paws on your keyboard.
Chelsea: You can’t do that. I’m typing up a story.
Bodhi: I’ll add flavor to it. Your news stories always suck anyway.
Chelsea: This from an animal who eats his own shit?
Bodhi: If your poop looked like tootsie rolls, you’d eat it too.
Chelsea: Good point.
Bodhi: I always have good points. I’m a Papillon. We’re very smart.
Chelsea: You’re getting awful ballsy.
Bodhi: Please, have you seen me? I’m all balls.
Chelsea: Actually, isn’t it about time I call Dr. Reinholt and schedule your neutering?
Bodhi: Damn you.
Article comments
1 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Chelsea--I didn't know how much I missed having a dog around until I find myself now living temporarily with my brother's family. Their pug-mutt (of some kind) has taken a liking to me and follows me and stays with me all the time, though he thinks my writings suck, too. Right now he is staring up at me adoringly--and I don't even have any food. His name is Rex. There is nothing remotely Zen-like about him, and when I think he's talking, I pretty much know it's a flashback of some kind.
2 - SonnyD
Funny and so true, but way too short.
3 - Aaman
FWIW, Boddhisatva is not the 'Buddhist deity of Zen' - it is a stage before Buddhahood or enlightenment wherein one has compassion for others, helping them achieve enlightenment.
I'm sure your puppy helps you that way:)
4 - Chelsea Snyder
Sonny -- I'm actually planning on making this into a series, so this was kind of my test to see how it'd be received.
And Aaman, thanks for the heads up. Yeah, Bodhi's enlightening in some way. I just don't know what yet. I currently have a dog with a Buddhist name, a fiddler crab with a Jewish name (from Fiddler on the Roof, get it?) ... I'm going for a very culturally diverse apartment.
5 - Matthew T. Sussman
Miss, I represent the estate of Mitch Albom and demand you cease and desist this flagrant misappropriation of the headline.
6 - Mary K. Williams
Funny Chelsea!
I hope Bohdi doesn't hide your keys on the day of the 'big snip'!
7 - Chelsea Snyder
It wouldn't surprise me. Cleaning my apartment today, I found a sordid collection of underwear (stolen from the hamper), socks, a few of his toys, and a golf ball.
That, or the mysterious laundry void just happens to dump into this corner of my apartment, sort of like in "Being John Malkovic." Someone jump in your dryer and if you wind up here, I'll give you a beer, since at midnight tonight I'll be legally able to do so.
8 - Mary K. Williams
Happy Birthday Chelsea! - feels good to be all legal and everything I bet.
9 - Chelsea Snyder
Thanks Mary. Indeed it feels good to be legal... because I definitely haven't already been getting black-out drunk since I was 14....