Just twelve minutes of me. Giddy-up.
For seven hundred and twenty seconds I told everyone in the room exactly why we're such a fat, unhealthy, disorganised, dissatisfied collective of people. I took two breaths for the whole presentation. I was like Jacques Costeau without the flippers.
I spoke about the psychology of getting in shape (and staying that way); specifically about procrastination, attitude, blame, excuses, avoidance, personal responsibility, honesty and decision making — not a bad effort for twelve minutes. And I didn't hold back.
As this strategic (but entertaining) tirade was coming out of my mouth, I scanned the room. I saw a mixture of laughter, fear, confusion, interest, amusement and revelation. Nice mix. While some of them probably hated my guts, the majority of the feedback I received was overwhelmingly positive. Nice. Surprising even.
So I guess I learned three key things:
1. I don't need to talk for so long.
2. I need to be a lot more offensive; clearly I'm too polite.
3. If you make people laugh, you can smash 'em over the head with some brutal truth while they're catching their breath.
Okay, I'm off to work on my new highly-offensive, five-minute, life-changing workshop. Time-efficient personal development at its best.
I wonder how much I could charge for that?