I love you. Isn't it amazing how three little words can have such an impact? What other words in the English language do you know that can bring a conversation to a complete standstill in quite the way those three single-syllable words can? "I hate you," delivered in just the right tone comes close, but even they don't have the bone-jarring, hitting the brakes hard effect of "I love you."
A couple - for argument's sake let us say a man and a woman - have been seeing each other for some time. They've discovered they have a lot in common and really enjoy each other's company. They've gone to bed a couple of times and the sex has been good. All in all things are, as the books say, developing.
Yet the first time one says "I love you" to the other – and no matter what guys like to think, it's as likely to be the man as the woman – almost inevitably it will be followed by a long pause. Of course a lot depends on the timing — there's a big difference between saying "I love you" in the heat of passion and blurting it out while doing dishes.
While you can sort of gloss over it in the former circumstances as being caught up in the moment, in the latter there's no escaping the consequences of truly meaning what you are saying. Saying "I love you" in the middle of doing something as prosaic as the dishes has infinitely more depth of meaning than when in the midst of sex. It's a definitive declaration of devotion not coloured by passion or lust.
Which is, of course, what brings about the aforementioned sudden stoppage in conversation. Sometimes it will end quickly and be followed by hugs and joyful tears. Other times it will be followed by a pause that you can drive a truck through, stop and unload it, refill the gas tank, and climb back into the cabin before a vocalized reaction is forthcoming. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it sure is unnerving to sit through before the other party bursts into a big grin or at least says "I love you" in return.
Of course if the silence stretches just that little bit too long, and then continues for a little more after that, it's usually a sign that the other party isn't as ready to make that declaration with the same amount of feeling. An "I love you too" might eventually be forthcoming but it there is a conditional quality to it that is inescapable.
Article comments
1 - klondikekitty
thanks, Richard!! Once again, you have hit the proverbial nail on the head with unerring accuracy!! Unfortunately, I happen to be in one of those relationships you mentioned which entail emotional blackmail to make me feel guilty enough to do what he wants -- After eight years of hearing sentences that start out like "If you really love me as much as you say you do, you would . . . . .!!!" I am calling it quits, giving up, moving on, syonara, baby!!
Maybe your post will save some other poor schmuck from the same fate I am now in the process of escaping from!! god! I hope so!!
2 - Buzz
Truth. Well put. Bravo!
3 - sr
Richard. Thank you. When I tell my wife I love her she always knows I love her. It comes from the heart and she know's that. When she tell's me the same I always know it comes from her heart. Not a day goes by that her and I say it to each other. I dont intend to get all melincoly on BC because I will always be my asshole self. Should I ever lose her should that day ever come I for certain will blow my brains out. We married until death do us part.
4 - Tomas
three little words compose the undivided unity. "I love you" is the name of the human - in case just "I" remains, we are dealing with the most serious disability.