Being the Pop Culture guru that I am, I actually know who The Wiggles are. I don't have any kids and I am not 5 years old so it really stands to reason that I shouldn't know who they are. I am here to tell you they are the most dangerous thing to come out of Australia since the Gibb brothers founded the Bee Gees. More dangerous than Crocodile Dundee in New York. They are the nuclear bomb in the culture wars that rage silently around the world.
These four guys are threatening to create an entire generation of cheesy kids who will be receptive to all the horrible entertainment that comes out of Australia henceforth. The Wiggles are planting that seed in our children today.
With album titles like "Whoo hoo! Wiggly Gremlins!" and "Hoop-Dee-Doo It's a Wiggly!" they are planning to pave the way for other forms of Australian "entertainment" to come rushing over our borders, not to mention our airwaves. But, this isn't the first time that Australia has unleashed a scourge on our culture and I am quite positive it won't be the last. They won't rest until they take over altogether.
How else can you explain the aforementioned Bee Gees, Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan, or Silverchair, Nicole Kidman (who incidentally doesn't show her accent all that much all in order to trick us into liking her,) Russell Crowe, AC/DC, Luc Longley, Mel Gibson, INXS, Midnight Oil, Frente, and that evil jezebel Natalie Imbruglia. They can't be explained as anything but attempts to take over the world.
And now with The Wiggles invading our kids' hearts and minds, there might not be a way to stop these Australians in the future. It has already gotten so bad that I received a dirty look yesterday when I suggested to an American parent who was talking about the Wiggles, that "Michael Jackson was an original member but they kicked him out for obvious reasons." Can you believe it has gotten so out of control that pedophilia jokes aren't funny? Kiddy diddling? (I think I know funny, people. And that, my friends, is funny.)