The Trouble with Happiness: Understanding the Difference between Joy and Pleasure - Page 2

Part of: Fierce Living

Let's say you override your gut, become a math whiz and avoid this trap. Problem solved, right?

Not so fast, Bucko. Just because you would end up with more money doesn't mean happiness will follow. The problem of focus is subtler than that. "Would You Be Happier If You Were Richer? A Focusing Illusion" by Daniel Kahneman, Alan B. Krueger, David Schkade, Norbert Schwarz, and Arthur A. Stone, suggests that we may not know what makes us happy as much as we'd like to think we do, and what we focus on at any given time may lead us to make some spotty conclusions about ourselves.

For example, if you are single and I ask you if you are dating and you say no, and then I ask you how happy you are with your life, I may have tipped you away from saying you are happy. And if you aren't happy, I'll give you three guesses what you are most likely to name as the reason. What you are focused on (dating in this case) gets linked with everything else I may ask you simply because I made it relevant.

When you think of how much marketing you are subjected to everyday, is it any wonder that you may be tempted to think, "If I just had that...if I could just afford that...THEN!..."

According to the article, the belief that high income is associated with happiness is intuitively appealing, but ultimately illusory. People with above-average income, are not, on the whole any happier moment-to-moment than those with fewer financial resources. In fact, evidence suggests the opposite, that they are prone to higher levels of stress and tension and may be spending less time engaged in enjoyable activities. While we all like to think that more money will lead to higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction, the evidence does not seem to bear this out.

I'd like to add here that this is where things get tricky. The theory of cognitive dissonance (if I'm doing this it must be worth it) demands that we justify our behavior to ourselves. If I am going to be working like a nut to acquire wealth I have to believe my sacrifices are worth it. Who could bear the thought of an insanely driven work style with no payoff at the end? In order to survive the pressures, many people exaggerate the contribution of income to happiness because to admit that the whole approach is failing raises questions to difficult for many to face, especially when one's family has gotten accustomed to a certain material lifestyle.

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Article Author: Laura Young

Laura Young is a life coach, author, photographer, and "deep water fish". If you enjoy her articles and are chewing over some big questions in your own life, please pay her a visit at Wellspring Coaching, where she has many additional resources for you. …

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Article comments

  • 1 - Baronius

    Nov 17, 2006 at 9:19 pm

    Laura, do you think many people really confuse wealth (or belongings) and happiness? I always hear that, but no one I know thinks that way. Some people collect a particular item, but otherwise, items are viewed as conveniences.

    Your salary example confirms it. People would rather have a sense of accomplishment than more money. Pay is a barometer of job performance in the real world, so people definitely want that next raise. I just don't think it's necessarily for the money (it could be for the financial cushion I guess).

    I suspect there's a bad assumption behind your theory. People have more things every year, both personally and en masse. People idealize their youths, and feel like every year is busier, more expensive, less satisfyiing. I don't think that fact one is linked to fact two. Fact two can be explained by the universal phenomenon of idle complaining.

  • 2 - Laura Young

    Nov 20, 2006 at 8:36 am

    Hi Baronius, You know, I'll agree with you that asking people if they think money will make them happier almost never gets a 'yes' response. On the other hand, I can't say that I've had anyone ever site money as a measure of accomplishment either. You do hit an interesting issue here, though.
    There may well be more than one definition of happiness interwoven here, or maybe it's a matter of focus on whose happiness we're trying to achieve. In the Chicago area, I see a lot of people striving incredibly hard for money and insanely huge houses, huge boats, second homes, lavish weddings for children, fine food and wines, and so forth sometimes because they are trying to make others (spouse, kids, guests) happy.
    While we may say 'no, I don't think money will make me happy' on one hand, we may simultaneously feeling obligated to pursue the money and materials we hope will fulfill the desires of others in an attempt to make/keep them happy.
    For example, any children's playroom I walk into these days is absolutely mind-blowing with the sheer mass of toys and games and costumes (not just for Halloween anymore!) and such. Aren't we equating "stuff" with happiness for young people? Or maybe we're just appeasing their demands hoping to end their (and our) suffering due to unmet desires.
    Interesting line of thought. Thanks for the comment!

  • 3 - Chris Gribble

    Nov 20, 2006 at 6:45 pm

    What a great comment on the subject of happiness. I love Victor Frankl's observation that "happiness is never achieved as an end in itself. Its always the product of giving yourself to a worth cause or by giving yourself to another in love".

    It follows on from the observation that you noted, "we may not know what makes us happy as much as we'd like to think we do, and what we focus on at any given time may lead us to make some spotty conclusions about ourselves."

    Just shows that all that money spent on self help is really pursuing the quest from the wrong space. Perhaps the first book we should read is how to help others and then we may start experiencing happiness as a natural by product?

  • 4 - Laura Young

    Nov 30, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    "Perhaps the first book we should read is how to help others and then we may start experiencing happiness as a natural by product?"

    I love this, Chris. Maybe the whole "self help" movement has a fundamental flaw?

  • 5 - ezeofor ifesinachi

    Dec 08, 2008 at 2:42 am

    happiness is that,that sneeks in and out of the door that you don`t know you left open while joy is that,that enters the door which you opened and watches over it day and night that one couldn`t close without your consent

  • 6 - Gary Phelan

    Aug 22, 2009 at 2:42 am

    Helping others will not bring you happiness. Well, not if you rely on the false assumption in a comment here that as long as you help others it will bring you happiness. As mentioned in this article, 'It is the struggle to repeat and perpetuate pleasure, which turns it into pain', even the pleasureable act of helping others. Because you depend on it for pleasure and happiness. So yes en'joy' a moment of helping another, but don't expect repeating any act of pleasure will perpetuate and guarantee your happiness.

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