“Americans will spend $750 million on self-help books this year and more than $1 billion on motivational speakers. More than 100 colleges now offer classes in positive psychology — the science of happiness.”
This quote, from a CNN report earlier this week, adds to the growing body of evidence that Americans are taking the pursuit of Life, Liberty and Happiness to unprecedented extremes. But is our tenacious quest to claim our inalienable rights paying off?
According to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, not so much.
But you probably already know this. Despite our many freedoms, impressive purchasing power, and a mind-boggling array of consumer choices (22 blender choices at Target alone), very few of us have been able to grasp happiness in any lasting way. Quite the contrary, in fact, as evidenced by our mounting credit card debt and sky-rocketing use of pharmaceuticals to combat depression, anxiety, insomnia, and a whole host of stress-related health conditions including ulcers, IBS, and high blood pressure.
Could it be that the Declaration of Independence was written on Opposite Day?
Quite possibly. But Gilbert and others suggest there may be other factors at work. For one, we just aren't very good judges of what will make us happy and our skewed perspectives set us up for disappointment as a result. To illustrate, let's consider this excerpt from ”Happy in Spite of Ourselves” by Wray Herbert, which presents a salary choice scenario posed to research subjects.
"One [job] pays $30,000 the first year, $40,000 the second, and $50,000 the third. Not bad. The other offers $60,000 at first, but then only $50,000, and finally $40,000."
Which of these two jobs you would choose?
According to Wray, most people choose the first job, even though in the long run they will make less money. Why? It's a matter of perception and relative psychological comfort. Job number one offers nice pay increases every year compared to the downward slide of the second job. The actual numbers aren't what grab our attention. It's the downward trend that is significant and no one wants to agree to a pay cut. In order to avoid the pain of taking a pay cut, most people opt choose the first job even though it would result in the actual loss of $30,000.
Article comments
1 - Baronius
Laura, do you think many people really confuse wealth (or belongings) and happiness? I always hear that, but no one I know thinks that way. Some people collect a particular item, but otherwise, items are viewed as conveniences.
Your salary example confirms it. People would rather have a sense of accomplishment than more money. Pay is a barometer of job performance in the real world, so people definitely want that next raise. I just don't think it's necessarily for the money (it could be for the financial cushion I guess).
I suspect there's a bad assumption behind your theory. People have more things every year, both personally and en masse. People idealize their youths, and feel like every year is busier, more expensive, less satisfyiing. I don't think that fact one is linked to fact two. Fact two can be explained by the universal phenomenon of idle complaining.
2 - Laura Young
Hi Baronius, You know, I'll agree with you that asking people if they think money will make them happier almost never gets a 'yes' response. On the other hand, I can't say that I've had anyone ever site money as a measure of accomplishment either. You do hit an interesting issue here, though.
There may well be more than one definition of happiness interwoven here, or maybe it's a matter of focus on whose happiness we're trying to achieve. In the Chicago area, I see a lot of people striving incredibly hard for money and insanely huge houses, huge boats, second homes, lavish weddings for children, fine food and wines, and so forth sometimes because they are trying to make others (spouse, kids, guests) happy.
While we may say 'no, I don't think money will make me happy' on one hand, we may simultaneously feeling obligated to pursue the money and materials we hope will fulfill the desires of others in an attempt to make/keep them happy.
For example, any children's playroom I walk into these days is absolutely mind-blowing with the sheer mass of toys and games and costumes (not just for Halloween anymore!) and such. Aren't we equating "stuff" with happiness for young people? Or maybe we're just appeasing their demands hoping to end their (and our) suffering due to unmet desires.
Interesting line of thought. Thanks for the comment!
3 - Chris Gribble
What a great comment on the subject of happiness. I love Victor Frankl's observation that "happiness is never achieved as an end in itself. Its always the product of giving yourself to a worth cause or by giving yourself to another in love".
It follows on from the observation that you noted, "we may not know what makes us happy as much as we'd like to think we do, and what we focus on at any given time may lead us to make some spotty conclusions about ourselves."
Just shows that all that money spent on self help is really pursuing the quest from the wrong space. Perhaps the first book we should read is how to help others and then we may start experiencing happiness as a natural by product?
4 - Laura Young
"Perhaps the first book we should read is how to help others and then we may start experiencing happiness as a natural by product?"
I love this, Chris. Maybe the whole "self help" movement has a fundamental flaw?
5 - ezeofor ifesinachi
happiness is that,that sneeks in and out of the door that you don`t know you left open while joy is that,that enters the door which you opened and watches over it day and night that one couldn`t close without your consent
6 - Gary Phelan
Helping others will not bring you happiness. Well, not if you rely on the false assumption in a comment here that as long as you help others it will bring you happiness. As mentioned in this article, 'It is the struggle to repeat and perpetuate pleasure, which turns it into pain', even the pleasureable act of helping others. Because you depend on it for pleasure and happiness. So yes en'joy' a moment of helping another, but don't expect repeating any act of pleasure will perpetuate and guarantee your happiness.