Many wonder why Mrs. Clinton just doesn’t wrap the licenses in gift wrap paper and send them to Al-Qaeda. Since Mrs. Clinton’s desperate immigrant vote pandering, her support has dwindled. The good news is that Mrs. Clinton can always work at McDonalds with Katie Couric.
3. BRITNEY SPEARS
Britney is, perhaps, the only douche bag I have some sympathy for. After her divorce from K-Fed, her comeback was literally handed to her on a silver platter, but Britney had to screw it up with the non-stop partying, the stints in drug rehab, the Tarzana military haircut, the hit and runs, and losing custody of her children.
Her biggest crime is that her behavior overshadowed her album Blackout, one of the best musical releases of the year. Many of us are rooting for Britney’s revival, but her constant self-destructive behavior makes that seem like a miracle.
2. MICHAEL NIFONG
District Attorney Michael Nifong was an idol to card carrying liberals and race card players all over the country. After all, he successfully charged three evil, white Duke Lacrosse players who raped an African American stripper.
He was on his way to the Civil Rights Hall of Fame, but there was just one problem: there was no actual evidence of this supposed crime. Not only did the stripper keep changing her story, but Nifong admitted to not actually interviewing her until six months after charging the so called “criminals” with the false crime.
To the disappointment of liberals everywhere, Michael Nifong was stripped of his law license on June 16, 2007. Learning a thing or two from his liberal buddies, Mr. Nifong claimed he was treated unfairly.
1. GEORGE W. BUSH
No explanation needed.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - klondikekitty
'Way to go, Daryl!! Excellent choices, and without a doubt, to have our current President at the top of the list is a true foray into the real world, as opposed to the world of illusion Bush seems so determined to create!!!
Bravo, my friend, bravo!!
2 - daryl d
Thanks, klondikekitty! I really wanted to come up with a festive "Top 10 Achievers" of 2008 list but it was just too boring.
3 - Andrew Ogier
You missed Jack Thompson. That douchebag is wasting taxpayer's money on nuisance lawsuits, and generally pissing off anyone who picks up a videogame controller in the process.
4 - Mankdog
Good job Daryl.Though I am a staunch Republican, I think the list is perfect in that it makes fun of everyone equally. I couldn't agree more with your choices of Sharpton, Nifong and Hillary (being a Texan, illegal immigration is a daily issue) , though I think any one of them would make a better #1 (like I said, I am a Republican). Keep up the good work.
5 - George Sharpton Clinton O'Reilly
Excellent!!!
I totally agree with Clinton on the list, but for different reasons. Illegals should not get liscenses obviously, but when have you ever heard an immigrant, illegal or otherwise, shout an anti-american slogan? They want to be here for the same reasons we do, not that its ok for them to be here illegally, they still should be deported. But what do they have to do with Al-Qaida? I love the humor you got here, but don't go to places like that please, it makes you sound as ignorant as Al Sharpton and obviously your not.
LOVE the list, perfect! Except for #1 it must have been extremely difficult what order to place the others due to the extreme level of douche-baggedness!
6 - A.L. Harper
Let me get this straight, you are calling Bill O’Reilly a racist after referring to Oprah as a white woman, just because she doesn't fit into your little-boy-from-a-sheltered-life idea of what a black woman should be? Fair enough, he is a racist, but at least he is honest about it. You're are just like him, misogynistic, egocentric and dogmatic. Your opinions seem to share all the same anti-intellectual, knee-jerk reaction, half-baked theory qualities of O'Reilly, but with none of the passion, ridiculous over the top colour or even the partly thought through moralities.
You Daryl, are a modern day Frank Burns. A narrow-minded, arrogant mental-pygmy, with all the colour and humour of a two broken legs on a motorbike trip.
7 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
While I thought you had a great list, Daryl, you were unfairly insulting douche-bags....
I know a couple, and they are thinking of suing. They want me to find them a good Jewish lawyer.
I never heard of such a thing....
8 - daryl d
Ok, Ad A.L. in at number 11 for actually taking this article too seriously.
9 - Mark Saleski
add yourself in at #12 for submitting it to digg.
embarrassing.
10 - daryl d
Add me at number 12 for spelling "ad" wrong.
11 - J. Pinela
Don't have to add yourself mr d. this was one of the funniest articles I have read this year. you have a cruel sense of humor
12 - Dr Dreadful
Kudos to #5 for just about the best online screen name ever.
13 - Just Speaking My Mind
I agree with your choices of Larry Craig, Al Sharpton and Michael Nifong. They definitely meet or exceed the definition of a db. I think that you could have come up with seven better candidates than the others listed. Al Gore could easily be in the Top 2 for his hopeless rant on global warming and his willingness to continue to do the things of which he portends impending doom for the planet.
14 - A.L. Harper
Oh no Daryl, I had been taking your article or you seriously I would really have ripped into you. I was being nice...
15 - Matthew T. Sussman
Perhaps we can retire calling everyone and their mother a douche bag after 2007. Even icanhascheezburger thinks it's overdone.
16 - H. O'Malley
Dary, Daryl, Daryl. As a writer you should know not to take things too personally.
[edited]
17 - szette
Hilarious article and hilarious comments. [edited]
18 - rojas
I love when people talk smack about an article like this. You got people to react and that is a powerful thing my friend.
Kudos to you because this article was hilarious. Bill O'Reilley should have been #1. Yeah, even after W. and that's saying something.
19 - Mark Saleski
ah, the power of ip spoofing software. excellent.
20 - szette
[edited] I love how she insults your writing capabilities but in her biography says she's a freelance writer for hire. Yup, no comment there.
21 - daryl d
I guess I have to add Mark Seleski into the list of Springsteen fanatics who try to insult me at every turn (I thought that war was long over with).
I had no need to submit myself to dig because the positive response I've received from this article is proof enough that it is good. But the powers that be at Blogcritics do everything they can to make sure that my articles aren't promoted anymore.
22 - El Bicho
Your immature comments make as much sense as your typing and just continue to prove your detractors right regardless of how many of your "fans" show up.
by the way, Dennis Miller in show business over 20 years compared to you who couldn't hack writing for free and working in Real Estate in LA, so he left for NJ. Who is the real failure?
23 - Mark Saleski
it's no war daryl. but i do love watching you string this list of ignorance out for the general public.
you call yourself a freelance writer, and show absolutely no fear in creating a public record of your behavior. i'm sure future clients will be interested.
keep digging, meanwhile, my packet sniffer is hard at work...
24 - daryl d
No need to worry about future clients, Seleski. I have a great job thanks to one of our readers here. But I appreciate your concern.
25 - Mark Saleski
anything you say mr. rafelson