Everybody’s favorite sexual harasser went on to reveal, "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-fer, I want more iced tea.'” It’s a good thing Sylvia’s doesn’t serve falafels.
7. KATIE COURIC
I usually feel sorry for people who show symptoms of mental retardation, but not the perky Katie Couric. Watching Katie Couric try and perk it up for her newscast is the equivalent of staring at the clock minute by minute and second by second. Watching Mrs. Couric perk it up in Iraq made me actually long for the days of seeing Connie Chung on the news. Judging by Mrs. Couric’s ratings, a job at McDonalds isn’t far ahead, but it would be a shame for McDonalds to even consider Mrs. Couric.
6. DENNIS MILLER
I would love to forward the book Final Exit to Dennis Miller so he could relieve himself of the misery he displayed while becoming Bill O’Reilly’s sidekick and the star of the ½ Hour News Hour on Fox, which -- like most of Dennis’ adventures -- was canceled.
Dennis has turned from an intelligent, witty comedian to an angry, self-hating, right wing fanatic - but he is still relevant. Look up the word “failure” in the dictionary and you will certainly find Mr. Miller’s career next to it.
5. AL SHARPTON
To the loving members of the liberal media, Al Sharpton is a hero who represents racial harmony, especially after representing Tawana Brawley. After all, he brought down Imus, correct?
But where was Mr. Sharpton when Halle Barry, the half-white actress who pretends to be black, made anti-Semitic remarks on Jay Leno’s show? He was probably making anti-Semitic remarks himself, which is just fine according to the media elite.
4. HILLARY CLINTON
Just six months ago, it seemed almost certain that Hillary would become our next president. At a time when illegal immigrants are marching through the streets waving their own flags, chanting anti-American slogans, committing violent crimes, and stealing identities, Mrs. Clinton gave her support for giving illegal immigrants drivers licenses, a privilege not even granted towards all legal citizens.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - klondikekitty
'Way to go, Daryl!! Excellent choices, and without a doubt, to have our current President at the top of the list is a true foray into the real world, as opposed to the world of illusion Bush seems so determined to create!!!
Bravo, my friend, bravo!!
2 - daryl d
Thanks, klondikekitty! I really wanted to come up with a festive "Top 10 Achievers" of 2008 list but it was just too boring.
3 - Andrew Ogier
You missed Jack Thompson. That douchebag is wasting taxpayer's money on nuisance lawsuits, and generally pissing off anyone who picks up a videogame controller in the process.
4 - Mankdog
Good job Daryl.Though I am a staunch Republican, I think the list is perfect in that it makes fun of everyone equally. I couldn't agree more with your choices of Sharpton, Nifong and Hillary (being a Texan, illegal immigration is a daily issue) , though I think any one of them would make a better #1 (like I said, I am a Republican). Keep up the good work.
5 - George Sharpton Clinton O'Reilly
Excellent!!!
I totally agree with Clinton on the list, but for different reasons. Illegals should not get liscenses obviously, but when have you ever heard an immigrant, illegal or otherwise, shout an anti-american slogan? They want to be here for the same reasons we do, not that its ok for them to be here illegally, they still should be deported. But what do they have to do with Al-Qaida? I love the humor you got here, but don't go to places like that please, it makes you sound as ignorant as Al Sharpton and obviously your not.
LOVE the list, perfect! Except for #1 it must have been extremely difficult what order to place the others due to the extreme level of douche-baggedness!
6 - A.L. Harper
Let me get this straight, you are calling Bill O’Reilly a racist after referring to Oprah as a white woman, just because she doesn't fit into your little-boy-from-a-sheltered-life idea of what a black woman should be? Fair enough, he is a racist, but at least he is honest about it. You're are just like him, misogynistic, egocentric and dogmatic. Your opinions seem to share all the same anti-intellectual, knee-jerk reaction, half-baked theory qualities of O'Reilly, but with none of the passion, ridiculous over the top colour or even the partly thought through moralities.
You Daryl, are a modern day Frank Burns. A narrow-minded, arrogant mental-pygmy, with all the colour and humour of a two broken legs on a motorbike trip.
7 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
While I thought you had a great list, Daryl, you were unfairly insulting douche-bags....
I know a couple, and they are thinking of suing. They want me to find them a good Jewish lawyer.
I never heard of such a thing....
8 - daryl d
Ok, Ad A.L. in at number 11 for actually taking this article too seriously.
9 - Mark Saleski
add yourself in at #12 for submitting it to digg.
embarrassing.
10 - daryl d
Add me at number 12 for spelling "ad" wrong.
11 - J. Pinela
Don't have to add yourself mr d. this was one of the funniest articles I have read this year. you have a cruel sense of humor
12 - Dr Dreadful
Kudos to #5 for just about the best online screen name ever.
13 - Just Speaking My Mind
I agree with your choices of Larry Craig, Al Sharpton and Michael Nifong. They definitely meet or exceed the definition of a db. I think that you could have come up with seven better candidates than the others listed. Al Gore could easily be in the Top 2 for his hopeless rant on global warming and his willingness to continue to do the things of which he portends impending doom for the planet.
14 - A.L. Harper
Oh no Daryl, I had been taking your article or you seriously I would really have ripped into you. I was being nice...
15 - Matthew T. Sussman
Perhaps we can retire calling everyone and their mother a douche bag after 2007. Even icanhascheezburger thinks it's overdone.
16 - H. O'Malley
Dary, Daryl, Daryl. As a writer you should know not to take things too personally.
[edited]
17 - szette
Hilarious article and hilarious comments. [edited]
18 - rojas
I love when people talk smack about an article like this. You got people to react and that is a powerful thing my friend.
Kudos to you because this article was hilarious. Bill O'Reilley should have been #1. Yeah, even after W. and that's saying something.
19 - Mark Saleski
ah, the power of ip spoofing software. excellent.
20 - szette
[edited] I love how she insults your writing capabilities but in her biography says she's a freelance writer for hire. Yup, no comment there.
21 - daryl d
I guess I have to add Mark Seleski into the list of Springsteen fanatics who try to insult me at every turn (I thought that war was long over with).
I had no need to submit myself to dig because the positive response I've received from this article is proof enough that it is good. But the powers that be at Blogcritics do everything they can to make sure that my articles aren't promoted anymore.
22 - El Bicho
Your immature comments make as much sense as your typing and just continue to prove your detractors right regardless of how many of your "fans" show up.
by the way, Dennis Miller in show business over 20 years compared to you who couldn't hack writing for free and working in Real Estate in LA, so he left for NJ. Who is the real failure?
23 - Mark Saleski
it's no war daryl. but i do love watching you string this list of ignorance out for the general public.
you call yourself a freelance writer, and show absolutely no fear in creating a public record of your behavior. i'm sure future clients will be interested.
keep digging, meanwhile, my packet sniffer is hard at work...
24 - daryl d
No need to worry about future clients, Seleski. I have a great job thanks to one of our readers here. But I appreciate your concern.
25 - Mark Saleski
anything you say mr. rafelson